Pickup

The common wisdom is if you gloat about sex as a man, women won't want you. But is that always the case? Sometimes, it isn't…

There is a double standard with regard to which sex gets to “play the field” indefinitely and receive praise for succeeding in racking up hundreds of attractive sex partners. As we know, guys who do this – players – supposedly have an easier time in society than their female counterpart: “sluts.”

Players don’t always enjoy as many perks as you might think. For instance, other men may want to keep them out of their social circles, fearing their girlfriends will fall victim to the chad’s debauched depredations.

Still, girls who sleep around have a much harder time, mostly due to other girls’ gossip and backstabbing, which is an attempt on their part to increase the price of access to their vaginas.

But there is another double standard that is going to be the subject of today’s article. That double standard is which sex gets to gloat about the opposite sex partners they’ve shagged or other lurid details of their love lives.

And here it is clear that girls have the upper hand. Guys are, so the thinking goes, meant to be discreet, downplay or even be completely silent about their dalliances and appetites: “Don’t kiss and tell.”

What if a guy were to go against this “rule”?

What effect does a guy gloating about the sex he’s had with a girl or girls in the plural have on other girls who may be present during the gloating?

Do you use enough touch to attract the women you want? Well, you should. Even if you met her in broad daylight, you can use these 8 touches to get things going.

Today I’m going to teach you all the sneaky ways to touch a girl you can use to seduce, arouse, and titillate women into a state of uncontrollable attraction.

Well, that would be ideal, anyway.

Most men who come to me for help have no idea how to use touch (formerly also called kino). They stress over not knowing “what to say,” which is a legitimate issue, for sure. But with the mighty power of touch, it can basically be bypassed.

Not all women need to be talked into bed.

Some of them react more to physicality than intellectualism.

“We can cuddle.”

I used to bang this girl, a total hottie, but for the longest time I was in her friend zone. I didn’t want to be there, so I spent more time trying to seduce her. Eventually I became frustrated, and just told her I wanted her.

“Well, I don’t know about that right now,” she replied, “but we can cuddle.”

We can cuddle? I thought. What does that even mean?

Well, she came over one evening to hang out, and I remembered her cuddle comment. So I pulled her in close as we watched the movie. I started running my fingers along her palms, then up and down her fingers. We didn’t speak for a long time, but just explored the bits that were available.

This eventually moved from fingers, to stomachs, necks to lips, and before long we were making out, then naked and banging. There was no logic, no poetry, no begging or bargaining or games. Just touch.

I'll agree, but on these terms… That's the gist of a compliance swap: you agree to what she asks of you, but propose something of your own in return.

Sometimes a woman insists on doing something a certain way and there's no good way out of it for you.

Sometimes you have to travel a far distance to meet her, and it's unrealistic to get her to come to you.

Sometimes she's getting pulled along with a group of people and your only shot with her is to tag along, but in so doing you risk looking like a follower.

How can you maintain a modicum of a leadership role and keep her compliance up even as you invest in things yourself?

With a compliance swap!

This neat little tactic gives you the power back in seemingly powerless situations... and can even make the dice roll your way.

Women run off when men come on too strong for them. Yet, they lose interest when men come on too weak. You must calibrate to the girl to effectively seduce.

Alek's recent strident indictments of direct game (part 1 | part 2) caused a small uproar on here and generated a flurry of both nodding heads and vociferous disagreements.

The main arguments against Alek's position of "direct game does not work (very well)" seem to be 1.) "well, it works for me", and 2.) what about guys whose methods are primarily direct game, a la Hector Castillo?

I'd like to address both Alek's point that very direct game usually doesn't work as well as more indirect game, plus the fact that sometimes it does work (though not nearly as consistently).

Note that we aren't talking about direct vs. indirect openers here. We're talking about the whole game system a man employs. I'd add that what Alek recommends (as well as what I do), while we tend to call it 'indirect game', is really an indirect-direct fusion that combines elements of both styles, but leans a bit more indirect than direct. I'll spell out more what the difference is between direct and indirect as we go.

In today's article, I'll boil down the answer to those questions above with a simplified framework that anyone can understand. That framework is this:

In a good seduction, what allows you to proceed with the girl is similarity of interest.

The closer your expressed level of interest is to the level of interest she's currently feeling, and the better you pace her interest levels as the seduction progresses, the better able you are to hold her interest and guide the seduction toward a licentious night in bed.

What trips men up on interest levels?

Either showing

1. too much (i.e., too direct) or
2. too little (i.e., too indirect)

interest in the girl they're courting.

CAPTION

We’ve all heard of approach anxiety, but what about approach procrastination?

Approach procrastination is delaying, avoiding, or putting off the act of going out to practice approaching women.

Approach procrastinators say they want to learn pickup, but only get out on the weekend for a short day or night session, then go home to procrastinate for another week, or four.

These chronic approach procrastinators often hang out on forums, or WhatsApp groups, where they are eager to discuss and argue their seduction and self-improvement philosophies. I see them on the streets, or in the malls when I’m running bootcamps, walking in circles for hours, occasionally mustering the courage to do an approach. By that time, their busy wingmen have already tried ten or more times, and are ready to go home and play Xbox.

Because these men never put in the real effort required to meet available and eager women, they become discouraged, which further disincentivizes them to try again. This leads to feelings of missed opportunities, guilt, stress, depression and resentment.

How do I know this? Because I, Tony D, am a serial procrastinator. Over the years I’ve developed a toolset to keep me moving forward and keep me from falling into a torpid state of apathy and sloth. So, I’ll do my best to help you chronic procrastinators in your quest to be awesome with women.

Let’s look at the main causes of approach procrastination

Direct game (where you never conceal your interest in a girl) gets a good wrap in men's circles. Yet it never works nearly as well as its proponents advertise…

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Last week, I attempted to debunk the perceived inequality between the sexes and their power on the dating market. It is easy for men to perceive women as more powerful because they get more attention, and therefore are more in control.

After all, men chase women for sex; they can say “yes” or “no” to their requests. Demand is high when it comes to sex with beautiful women.

Although both men and women seek validation, male and female sex drives differ in the source of validation.

Men get validation through sex, and women receive it through attention—more precisely, sexual attention—knowing that men find them desirable.

Both can enjoy sex and desire sex equally on a PHYSICAL and even EMOTIONAL level.

However, men are not only led by their drive toward sexual satisfaction but by their ego—their feeling of power and attractiveness from “conquering” a woman through sex.

Hence, men have two motivations to seek sexual encounters:

• Their sex drive, which they share with women

• Their ego drive

Females get satisfaction by having someone desiring them, which does not involve a need to put out.

We know that “putting out” and having sex left and right with men can lead to social consequences for women. Women fear the slut label, so they have fewer incentives to put out.

Women will resist you and object to what you say. Yet you must be able to escalate things with them anyway. Once you can, success with girls gets simpler.

I've been seeing a bit more lately of guys scratching their heads and asking, "How do I do XYZ thing?" and not really getting it.

So I wanted to start an ongoing series (like Tactics Tuesdays and Secrets to Getting Girls) that gives basic advice on how to develop uncommon-but-useful skills and abilities.

Today the focus is on moving things along (escalating) despite women's objections.

If a woman objects to things you say you want her to come do with you, will you still find a way to do them, or will you give up?

Backing off, redirecting, or biding your time can be an okay strategy sometimes. But other times, it's a seduction death knell.

A good seducer knows when to push as well as when to back off and let the woman come to him.

And right now, we'll take a close look at the former.