Back when I was hopeless with women, I wanted to claim this smoking hot barista as a trophy wife.
At only 25 years old, she had the confidence of a Somalian princess. She was well-traveled and far more experienced with men than I was with women.
Every day I’d make sure to buy my coffee from her. Over a few months of small talk, we became a bit familiar. She wasn’t a friend but she always smiled when she saw me.
I racked my brain for ways to impress her enough to make her horny for me. Finally, I had the biggest most brilliant idea:
I would show her how amazingly creative and witty I was.