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Meeting and attracting members of the opposite sex.

Showing Intent Without Showing Your Intentions

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

showing intentIt is possible for you to display intent to a woman without giving away your intentions, so that she may still have room to chase you. You just need the right approach.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

I have been focusing on indirect game lately. I know many of you have enjoyed the series from the feedback I’ve received via PM on the forums. This always makes me grateful.

Others pointed out that the series has not included enough practical examples showing the execution of the techniques. I can’t write an A–Z guide detailing every step of how I run indirect game; that would require me to write a long book sharing all my game. However, I can share a report that exemplifies how I run this.

As usual, this series is becoming slightly longer than anticipated, but I’m the kind of guy who needs to cover every aspect before feeling comfortable moving on. I do the same with my students. I do not move onto their next sticking point to tackle until concepts are hammered down.

And this is what I intend to do with this series. I will try to keep things as fresh and exciting as possible.

Today’s subject relates to indirect game but more precisely, to the questions surrounding communicating and conveying your intentions to women.

Many proponents of direct game claim that communicating your intentions to a woman is key as it sets a “man meeting woman” frame, helping her know what the interaction is about and cutting the crap. It helps set a seduction frame. I see nothing wrong with this. It is obviously a good frame!

But if you have been paying attention to my series on indirect game, you may have heard me say:

  • “Be indirect”

  • “Don’t display your intentions”

  • “Don’t communicate intent directly”

And these hold true, although there is a caveat.

This caveat is what I want to discuss today: showing your intentions is not necessarily bad. You can run indirect game and still display your intentions, and potentially reap all the benefits that follow:

It is a question of what intentions you convey and how. These nuances are what we will cover today in this post.

What type of intentions should you communicate? How should you communicate them? And ultimately, how does this fit into the broader view of indirect game (and what would differentiate it from a “direct game” variant)?

This post will serve as both a theoretical and practical guide. Let’s jump into it.

7 Tips to Fewer Objections from Girls You Want to Date

Tony Depp's picture
woman objecting to manIf she's objecting to something, check yourself. If you have tight fundamentals, persist.

Today we’re going to look at how to handle objections from women.

We’ll do this by breaking down a post from the Skilled Seducer forums.

By the end of this post, you'll know whether to persist or desist with an objecting woman, and how to persist properly where you can.

Tactics Tuesdays: Gold Choices vs. Bronze Choices

Chase Amante's picture
gold choices vs. bronze choicesIf you want someone to make the right choice, don't give only one option. Juxtapose your preferred Gold Choice against an okay-yet-inferior Bronze Choice.

I talked yesterday with our sales specialist, Rob.

We spoke about the new coaching page we're setting up, with a video by me that talks about coaching and an option for audience members to book a free call with Rob to discuss coaching packages.

I said how we'd tossed out the initial version of the page, which our writer made about getting viewers to choose a coach.

Instead we made the page totally focused on getting a reader to sign up for the free call.

(by the way, if you want to know more about coaching with Girls Chase, just shoot Rob an email at coaching@girlschase.com -- he'll hop on a call with you to fill you in on options)

And Rob noted that yes, something he'd noticed in years of working with clients: when he talks to a guy, listens to his situation, and tells him, "This is the coach for you. You're going to want to book coaching with this instructor," he closes a lot of sales.

However, if he tells the prospective client, "Here are our different coaches. There's this coach, who is best at this. And there's that coach, who is best at that. There's also this other coach, who's really good at XYZ. Which coach would you like?" he always gets the same response:

"Oh, ah, I'll have to think about it. Let me get back to you."

And then the client never calls him back.

And I told him yes, that's right, Rob! You've discovered an important sales principle: you don't give the prospect too many choices.

Ideally, you only give him one.

One you suspect will be right for him.

And if you must give choices (if, for instance, he isn't sold on the first one you give him), the other choices you give typically must help sell the first choice you offered... not sell themselves as real alternatives.

I call this Gold Choices vs. Bronze Choices.

And it applies every bit as much to your interactions with women as it does to sales.

Do Girls Always Know Your Intentions?

Alek Rolstad's picture
do girls know your intentions?Caption

Hey and welcome back.

After finishing my latest series on indirect game, I’ve decided to make a few more posts covering aspects of the topic that did not make it into my series or respond to questions and comments that I have seen in the comment sections.

Today I want to debunk the idea that women are always aware of your intentions, as if they were ultra-intuitive super-computers.

This flawed argument is often used as a sort of counterargument to indirect game.

The argument goes as follows:

“What’s the point of going indirect, if she knows that you are hitting on her anyway?”

Followed up with:

“So, you might as well be direct about your intentions.”

I see this argument often, and every time I read it my eyes hurt.

There are false beliefs involved in this line of thinking.

I always wonder how this idea first appeared.

It seems to be a form of projection of male thinking onto women (yes, we are wired differently). And yet I have no clear idea where such notions came from.

What I can say is that this line of reasoning is wrong:

  • The first dimension is that "women can sense what your true intentions are – they can sense you are hitting on them". This is false, although there are some nuances

  • Even if we were to assume the above is indeed correct (or that elements of it may at times be true), then it is still not a reason for going direct

So, on both levels, the whole argument is flawed, and this line of thought can be safely thrown into the wastebasket.

This is what this post is about, debunking this line of thought by discussing these two dimensions.

Tactics Tuesdays: Teach Her Things

Chase Amante's picture
teach your dateHere's a nice little tactic to get girls you meet and go on dates with to follow your lead and view you as an authority figure: teach them to do things.

One major attraction switch for women is male authority.

If you can show yourself to be an authority to women, they desire you more.

In particular, if you establish yourself as an authority over a woman, she will desire you a lot.

There are numerous ways to establish yourself as an authority in a woman's world... but one of the easiest is to teach her things.

For this Tactics Tuesday, we'll discuss tactically teaching girls things to bring them under your authoritative spell.

5 Signs of Interest Women Give that Aren't

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

women's signs of interest that aren'tWomen put a lot of signals out there. Yet, there are things women do that men THINK signal interest to them… but nevertheless are distractions.

We've talked a lot about ways women signal their interest in men.

However, as big a problem as missing women's signs of interest is, there's another problem under-discussed in the men's dating advice space: mistaking as signs of interest things that in fact aren't.

What's wrong with mistaking signs of interest? I thought you were supposed to assume attraction anyway, you might say!

Well, that's right, you are.

Nevertheless, if you recall from our discussion of the importance of the similarity of interest, the interest you show a girl should closely match what she feels.

If you show a lot more interest than what she feels, because you incorrectly judged her to be more warmed up than she was, you risk of burning out the courtship before it begins.

To help you not do that, in today's article we'll look at the most common behaviors of women's that men incorrectly think show interest -- so you can recognize these yourself and not get fooled.

Indirect Game, Pt 3.: Escalating the Vibe

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

indirect gameNow that you've gone in indirect, and increased her compliance, it's time to make a move and escalate the vibe.

Hey guys. And welcome back.

Today we will continue and bring to a close our series on indirect game.

Previously we discussed how to show interest the right way when using indirect game — When? How much? How? — while keeping your interest levels in her unknown or ambiguous (depending on your style) to make her curious, compliant, and eventually get her to start chasing you.

Then we discussed how to reinforce this method by using a reward and punish mechanism. Women are attention-craving, and whenever a woman acts compliant to you (for instance, by showing interest), you reward her with attention (for example, through escalation). If not, you punish her by cutting her source of validation (like ignoring her for a while).

Indirect game is a fantastic way of meeting and seducing women. It allows you to build compliance unbeknownst to the girl because of your ambiguous indirect stance. If being indirect fails to get her compliance, it can at least buy you time — since you do not force early rejections — to use other compliance-building techniques, like sex talk, to turn a less favorable situation around.

It is easy to overfocus hiding your interest in a girl to avoid feeding her attention-craving needs and keeping her compliance levels up. What usually happens is guys risk being too passive. Things don’t escalate, and nothing happens. This is a trap I fell into when I started out, and I know many fall into it.

Good indirect game is not the equivalent of being passive. At some point, you have to make a move, or it will all go to waste.

Today we will discuss the importance of escalating the vibe vibe and clarify what may seem like a contradiction: keeping your interest levels ambiguous (being “indirect”) while escalating the vibe (making a move, seemingly being “direct”).

We will also cover how indirect game helps you lay the groundwork for escalating the vibe and how indirect game can help you whenever she resists.

Tinder VS Cold Approach: How Do They Compare?

Frankie Bismarck's picture
tinder vs cold approachDating apps are increasingly becoming the de facto way many people meet their mates. But how does online compare with real world approaching?

I have been an active seducer for the past decade, and a few weeks ago I decided to try my hand at Tinder for the first time.

Let me detail why I think this is not the best vehicle for securing sexual relationships with beautiful girls.

Compliance Tests for Attracting Women

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

compliance tests for attractionAttract her more with the aid of compliance tests. Get her to work for you, and suck her in.

Some wise man said that all pickup is compliance.

Oh, that was me.

Tony, What the F$*K is compliance exactly? I’m glad you asked.

Indirect Game, Pt 2: Making Her COMPLY with You

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

indirect gameIndirect game's strength comes from its reliance on ambiguity… which ignites a woman's curiosity about you, the mysterious man she can't seem to faze.

Hey there, and welcome back.

Last week, after sharing why I do not believe in direct game, I started my indirect game series, discussing what it is and how it is run.

For our purposes, indirect game is a form of seduction where:

  1. The seducer keeps his level of interest ambiguous until the girl starts showing interest (usually starting the interaction showing her little to no interest)

  2. The level of interest (and disinterest) you show her is proportional to the girl and the circumstances

  3. The way you show interest remains ambiguous, providing you with flexibility

The idea is to calibrate your actions to the girl.

When mastered, indirect game leads to better meet-to-lay ratios (higher chances of you getting THAT girl as opposed to any girl after many approaches). This is because you calibrate things to the girl.

You maintain more control over the frame of the interaction, so she is more likely to chase you (if done right), giving you a higher chance of generating compliance, making it much easier for you to escalate the interaction toward sex.

Today I would like to discuss compliance a bit further.

Compliance is how willing she is to follow your lead. We can break it down into three categories:

  1. Her overall interest in you and her desire to act

  2. Her willingness to follow your lead

  3. The absence of resistance to the above

I’ll cover resistance in more detail next week when I talk about escalating the interaction to sex using indirect game. I’ll discuss how indirect game helps you avoid resistance and how to deal with it.

Today let’s focus on generating (and maintaining) compliance.