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Meeting and attracting members of the opposite sex.

Assessing Seduction Difficulty

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

assessing seduction difficultyBeing able to assess difficulty is a key tool in seduction, as it helps you optimize your efficiency and success rate.

Hey guys! Today I will share a post for our advanced readers. This post may serve players of all levels, but it may be a bit heavy for the less experienced.

Nevertheless, it is an interesting subject. We’ll go over why a particular girl or group is hard to seduce.

As you will see, it can be tricky to assess, and so it should be obvious that you are likely to be wrong in your assessments (the harder something is, the more likely you are to make mistakes). Hence the message is: don’t overthink and waste your energy but instead go for it. You may realize that some girls are not that hard to get, even though they may initially have come across as hard nuts to crack.

And if they are hard to get, the challenge will provide you with valuable lessons.

These are some simple facts to consider.

This post will cover different variables in determining how hard a girl is to seduce. I will leave out one variable I have covered in-depth in a previous article: girls put up various types of resistance at different phases of the interaction. Some are hard to approach but easy to extract once you hook them in; others are easy to approach but hard to extract. Some are easy to both approach and extract but infernally difficult to escalate to sex with.

So keep this variable in mind as you read this post.

Room Transitions, the Doorway Effect, and Seduction

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

room transitionsTake a girl into another room, and her emotions and memories change. But are these room transitions good for your seduction… or are they harmful to it?

Here's a tactic shockingly simple that a surprising number of men don't seem to have in their tactical repertoires: room transitions.

That is to say, when you need a shift in how things are going with a girl, particularly once you've established a certain pattern in the room you are in, it's much more natural to do that following a switch to a different room.

Sounds simple, but if you've ever found yourself trapped on a couch with a girl you brought home, having a deep conversation where you've waited too long to kiss and now it would feel awkward, a room transition can save you.

Further, if you bring a girl to your place for a date, and she isn't ready to go to bed right away so you need to take her through the courtship in the apartment, often it is going to be much easier to jump from courting to seducing following a room transition.

There's a downside to room transitions too: if you've ever had an amazing connection going with a girl somewhere, then stepped outside with her and it was like the connection completely evaporated and she left... or if you had a girl at your place totally ready to get intimate with you, but you decided to move her to the bedroom to get more comfortable, only the moment you set foot in the bedroom with her it was like a switch flipped and she decided she needed to go, you've run into the ugly side of room transitions.

Knowing how these transitions work allow you to switch things up when things are stuck or aren't going well, and avoid ruining a good thing when things are smooth.

What makes the room transition work as a seduction tactic is a little-known psychological principle known as 'The Doorway Effect'.

Resistance Is Not Rejection (Rejection Part 2)

Alek Rolstad's picture
resistanceResistance is not rejection. Pros know this and calibrate accordingly. Novices think it's the end of their chances with the girl they're talking to.

Editor's note: while this is Part 2 of Alek's series on fear of rejection, we mistakenly published it first. You can read Part 1 here.


Hey guys, welcome back!

Last week I discussed how to counter different forms of anxiety regarding “making a move” with girls, whether we’re dealing with:

  • Approach anxiety

  • Fear of escalating the vibe

  • Fear of going for the kill (attempt an extraction)

Some of you have experienced great results through affirmations and other techniques (inner game). Others have conquered anxieties with meeting women by repeatedly exposing themselves to rejection.

I won’t deny that for some, these strategies may work. However, they simply don’t work for me. I’m a practical guy; I want practical solutions to my problems. Whenever I know that I have an answer to any potential difficulty I may face, I feel more comfortable and less anxious about the situation.

It’s from this point of view that I decided to write a two-part series on this subject. Last time we discussed the many causes of resistance and rejection. Being aware and knowing how to avoid these issues will grant you better results and allow you to feel more confident and relaxed since you know you can potentially avoid resistance and rejection.

Resistance may still occur, but with my advice, it can be a lighter form that is less hostile or scary. More importantly, that “lower caliber” resistance (sometimes facing resistance is simply unavoidable) will be easier to deal with.

That alone should make you feel more at ease with making a move (that’s the message from my last post). But what if you could prevent the mistakes that trigger resistance and deal with it whenever it bears its ugly face? What if you could turn resistance around to your benefit?

Would making a move seem scary then? You’d not only know how to prevent resistance (the subject of my last post) but also know to circumvent it and turn things around. There wouldn’t be any lingering fears, or they’d be greatly minimized. Worst-case scenario you’d enjoy the practical benefits of doing things right, which would give you better results.

Today I’ll discuss how you can learn to handle resistance and turn it around, listing the different strategies. I won’t write about anything new here but will share some basics in a new light so newer readers can take the message and get more results. More experienced guys may view this post as a good recap.

Tactics Tuesdays: Tactics Timers

Chase Amante's picture
tactics timersIf you meet a girl or have a date, but you use a tactic too long or too many times, the tactic “inflates” – i.e., turns stale. How can you avoid stale tactics? By using a tactics timer.

This is a little technique I developed for myself to guard against inflation.

As a refresher: any time you use a certain tactic too long, it becomes 'inflated'. That is to say, you get predictable and things turn stale.

You can use this with any basic example. Imagine a guy talking to a girl who uses a good "That's what she said!" joke at an opportune time. The girl laughs. It's kind of cheesy, but also a little bit funny.

Three minutes later, he uses the exact same joke. Then another five minutes and he uses it again. Ten minutes after that, he tells her, "That's what she said!" yet again.

By this point, the joke is tired, stale, and inflated, and using it actually hurts the interaction because it feels like this guy has nothing else. He only has the few tricks he's been using, and while they might've felt fresh at first, that freshness is now long gone.

What are this guy's odds to hook up with the girl he's talking to? Not great, and getting lower by the minute. The more time he spends in inflation, the lower his odds become.

When you're learning, or you're rusty, you will tend to find yourself trapped in inflationary spirals at times. You'll realize you're getting boring, stale, and predictable... and then you can feel stuck.

You might start to panic a bit.

What can you do to escape, and salvage things with this girl?

The solution is to use tactics timers as a way to consciously avoid slipping into inflated interactions.

Film Review: The Moon Is Blue (1953)

Chase Amante's picture
the moon is blueThe Moon Is Blue is a 1953 film about pick up, seduction, and sex. In it, a playboy picks a girl up and brings her home. Another player tries to seduce her first, and fascinating things ensue.

The Moon Is Blue is a delightful 1953 film about seduction, based on a German play translated in 1951 to English and staged on Broadway.

It begins with a day game out-shopping pickup. Donald Gresham (played by William Holden, who has a habit of playing the moody seducer types) receives an approach invitation from Patty O'Neill (played by the charming Maggie McNamara), but fails to approach after she backturns him and walks away.

When he spots her eying him a second time a few moments later, he realizes she's definitely into him and he'd better chase her down to make his approach. So chase her down he does.

This entire film is about pickup, seduction, and male and female dynamics. The words 'pick up', 'seduce', and 'seducer' appear throughout its runtime.

If you like film examples of seductions, or you're interested in seduction dynamics, you're almost certain to like this film.

Tactics Tuesdays: Screen -> NEXT -> Return

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

screen -> next -> returnWhen you’re on the prowl, and you’re not sure a woman is sufficiently liberated for your purposes, what do you do with her? Well, you screen her… next her, if she doesn’t measure up… then return.

Here's a devious little tactic you can use in social circle settings or anywhere you have a 'captive audience'.

First off: this tactic is not so well suited to cold approach.

You can use it sometimes, in some cold approach scenarios, such as early on in a bar or nightclub (e.g., if you are doing shotgun opening / hit-and-run game).

But it is really best suited to situations where you are going to see a woman again and again.

You are going to use this tactic to get girls to get on-board with the way you want to seduce them or pick them up. It will both make compliant girls feel extra special, and make non-compliant girls become a lot more compliant (if not now, then in the future).

It's simple to do, but it takes some balls.

What If You Want a Girl Another Guy Wants?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

I'm working on herWhat if you want a girl, but another guy’s been ‘working on her’? Should you go for her anyway... or make a tactical retreat? Well, it depends on the situation.

Let's say you're at a gathering of some sort and there's this girl there you start talking to.

Things are going well between you, then at some point she gets up to go use the bathroom. While she's gone, a guy from the group leans in and tells you, "Hey man, no offense, but I'm working on that girl."

What's the correct thing to do here?

Should you back off and stop picking up on this girl... go look for another?

Should you ignore this guy totally and continue as if nothing'd been said?

Maybe challenge him to a duel?

How do you deal with these 'working on that girl you're picking up' guys?

Naturalized Game: Make Seducing Women Work Your Way

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

naturalized gameWant to optimize your seductions? Step 1: learn effective canned routine concepts. Step 2: “naturalize” those concepts to fit your personal approach and style.

Hey guys!

Last week, in response to a reader’s question, I detailed the pros and cons of using canned routines to seduce women.

To recap, the benefits of using scripted gambits are:

  • You have well-thought-out techniques that have been tried and rehearsed by others designed to work at your disposal

  • Others can try your routine, comment, add changes and tweaks. This benefits the community

  • You have a working tool in your arsenal. You avoid talking for the sake of talking, and you can accomplish a specific goal with your words

  • It can reduce your nervousness when opening since you have a well-tested routine or gambit that has worked in the past. You don’t have to rationalize for not opening because you don’t have a good opener. Now you have one

  • Beginners especially can benefit from having clear guidelines for what works and what doesn’t in seduction. This is likely THE MOST important point

The cons:

  • Even though gambits show you what to say, you may find yourself in a protracted interaction where you run out of gambits and are left with nothing to say

  • The delivery can sometimes be artificial since it may not calibrate to you or your personality (probably why many men got seduced by the idea of “natural game” since it focuses on being more “you”). Guys can get stuck delivering a rehearsed script that mismatches the vibe of the interaction and the venue

  • You have little flexibility; you end up stuck within the gambit

  • Sometimes a magical gambit that worked 90% of the time will not work on a certain chick for whatever reason. (A dogmatic routine user would argue that you should learn more routines; a good solution, but it’s not the most effective, as we will see, and surely not the most pleasant)

  • You may feel alienated from the material since it is not yours (the exception is when you create your own material, which more experienced seducers do, myself included!)

Last week I discussed these pros and cons while sharing some historical elements behind routine-based game and why it lost popularity.

However, I realized I did not present a solution to the problem. Is natural game the way to go? Or should you stick to routines? In my opinion, the answer lies somewhere in between. Ideally, we would like to gather as many of the benefits of routine-based game while keeping it natural. In other words, get the best of both worlds.

I want to present my view of “naturalized” game. I initially wrote a post titled “Naturalized Game” around 2008. It didn’t get much attention, partly because it was short and did not deliver anything mind-blowing then. I did not spend the time or effort to make a good, solid argument for my position. But I intend to do so today.

Note that I have stuck with naturalized game since that day.

Before I discuss what this concept is and how it works, I need to clarify a few ideas.

Tactics Tuesdays: Naughty Interest Bait

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

naughty interest baitYou have something sexual you want to tell a girl or show her, but it’s inappropriate. How do you get around its impropriety? By baiting her into begging you to share it with her.

Want a simple little tactic you can use to bait girls into asking you things you couldn't/wouldn't normally be able to get away with in conversation?

Because there are some things that you really cannot just come out and drop on a girl, without it being too forward or out-of-place.

The solution, if you want to use a really forward compliment or bring up or show her something really sketchy is to lure her into asking you for it, pushing you for it, so that when you finally drop it on her, "she asked for it."

With a little good framing, this is not hard to do at all.

Note: while this tactic is simple, it requires a fair degree of calibration, and thus its use is a bit more advanced. So this will mostly be for intermediate and up guys (and really is for more advanced seducers).

Beginners may still find it interesting to read about, if purely for the psychology aspect.

Canned Game: Pros and Cons of Using It in Your Seductions

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

canned gameCanned game routines get a bad rep in the community since the natural game reaction. But are they really all that bad?

Hey guys. Welcome back.

On my second article about dealing with groups, DJM commented:

Alek! Thanks for your great posts. Now that the mainstream pickup scene is filled with so much crap, it’s great that we have someone from the old school days still writing great content. I would really be grateful if you wrote a post about routines, gambits, and canned material. Nowadays, it’s taboo to mention routines or gambits in the community. You’re one of the few who still believes in and uses them. Please elaborate on how they can help – especially for beginners – and remove some of the stigma around them. Thanks a lot!!.

Thank you for the kind words! Comments are what keep me motivated in doing the work I love: writing about pickup and seduction. So, thanks again.

 

Now, onto your request. As DJM implies, I think routines are misunderstood. What is a routine? In pickup and seduction, they’re ready-made techniques you can use as routines. The commentator is correct when he says there is a stigma surrounding them. It’s why we often prefer calling routines “gambits.”

In this post, I’ll discuss the pros and cons of using canned routines. Next week, I’ll explain my way of using routines, how they can benefit you, and how they can give you ALL THE PROS without THE CONS listed in this article.

First, I need to discuss some theories on why routines have such a bad rep.