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Meeting and attracting members of the opposite sex.

Tactics Tuesdays: Keep the Seduction Setting Constant

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

seduction settingIf you take her from the setting you seduced her in to one that’s very different, you risk disrupting your seduction. Keep an eye on environments as you pull/change venues.

One of the biggest mood-killers in a seduction is when the setting changes.

Every guy who's been around the seduction block has encountered this during transitions.

You meet a girl somewhere (let's say at a bar), and the vibe is great. She's connected with you, laughing with you, the flirtation is strong. There's a strong sexual vibe.

Then you take her out of there. You go to a diner. The two of you chill. The vibe comes down.

You head out onto the street to hail a ride back together. "You know what, I'm just going to go home I think," she tells you.

You try to get her to stick around: "No, no! The car's almost here. We'll just go back for 30 minutes. It'll be a great time, I promise."

But she bails anyway.

What happened?

You know (you could feel it) that if there'd been some way to shag this girl in the bar you met her at, she would absolutely have been yours.

However, there wasn't. You tried taking her to the diner, then home, and somewhere along the way things lost steam.

This will not always happen. Sometimes you can maintain the vibe across settings.

Nevertheless, if you want to maximize your odds to get the girl, keep the setting constant.

Mixed Groups Pt. 2: How to Approach Them

Alek Rolstad's picture
sexy girls dancing with guys aloftThere are two tried and tested ways to approach a mixed group. One is to wait for the opportune moment. The other? Mystery Method.

Hey guys, welcome back.

Last week we discussed mixed groups and the tendency guys have to immediately assume that any men interacting with girls must be part of their group, when they could have met the girls that same night.

You can’t assume all men in a club will spend the entire night idle. Some approach girls eventually (especially after binging booze — if you’re able to do the same somewhat sober you’ll enjoy a significant advantage).

In my experience, most men don’t cold approach much (unless drunk) in bars and clubs, but it still happens. Cultural differences can play a part. In some more social cultures, men walk up to talk to girls more often.

What if you happen to belong to a culture where that is not the norm? It could be that the guys with the girl you fancy know each other. But does that mean they’re part of the same group?

Joint Date Planning Before You Ask Her Out

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

joint date planPlan a date together, before you leave her side, to raise the odds she shows up for it later. Use a few date-maximizing tricks to stack things in your favor.

Usually when we talk about how to ask a girl out, I tell you to keep it as simple as possible:

  1. Ask her out
  2. Then take her contact info

The reason is because in general I think the simpler your processes are, while still being effective, they easier they are to learn, the easier they are to remember, and the easier they are to stick to when there's a lot of other stuff going on.

However, what if you're a more intermediate guy, or advanced?

What if you want another way to reduce flakes and up the odds girls show up on dates with you?

Enter joint date planning, a surefire method to slash your flakes and up your date turnout.

Best of all, it's not something you need to fumble your thumbs with doing over messages -- you'll do it right there in person with the girl when you meet her, before you ever leave her side.

Mixed Groups Pt. 1: Mixed or Not?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

mixed-group-in-karaoke-barMixed groups are more challenging than single-girl sets. But are all guys with girls signs of a mixed set?

Hey guys.

I was hanging out in the Skilled Seducer chat (the live chat in our online discussion forum), and member DaVinciMatrixStyle asked a great question, which guys often ask:

Girl Hunting: Pickiness vs. Selectiveness

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girl standards pickyMany guys are ‘too picky’ with girls. They ignore good-looking and great girls. Then end up alone, or stuck with girls who are bad news. You must escape this trap.

Here's a couple of concepts I want to differentiate for newer (and maybe some not-so-newer) guys:

Those of pickiness vs. selectiveness.

If you've read my stuff on screening for both long-term commitment as well as for girls you'll hook up with in one-night stands, you know how much I harp on screening out girls who aren't a fit and/or will cause you problems.

I've cited science that shows men are a lot less discriminating about the women they start relationships with than women are men, and that men look for red flags a lot less.

In other words, men are a lot more likely to stumble into relationship quicksand.

However, there is a flip side to all this discrimination you want to employ as a dater, and that is this: if you are too picky about the wrong things, you can also stunt your growth as a seducer and make it nigh impossible to get enough experience to progress.

This is the double side of being discriminating: you must be discriminating enough, without being too much so.

You must be selective without being overly picky.

How to Be a Charmer (by Making a Charming Approach)

Daniel Adebayo's picture
charmer being hugged by babeEvery man has the potential to become sizzlingly seductive to women. But not every man is willing to put in the effort.

Resistance is arguably the most frustrating experience in a new game student's journey to improve his sex life with cold approach.

After working up the courage to open - and begin a new interaction - it can appear in different forms, like:

These obstacles can even bring headaches to a skilled seducer.

However, there is a quality so tempting most women find it just about impossible to resist.

You’ve most likely heard of it before. It’s called charm. But what is it exactly?

The Algerian seducer and philosopher Albert Camus said:

“You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer 'yes' without asking a clear question.”

In other words, instead of asking new women blunt questions when trying to pick them up, you just speak and behave in deliberately suggestive ways. When done right, the girls you meet find you extraordinarily persuasive because your suggestions allow them to convince themselves they want you, instead of the other way around.

A charming man masks his cleverness by deflecting attention from himself and focusing it on his girls. He understands their point of view, boosts their self-esteem, and brings pleasure to the subconscious mind.

He appears as an indulging beam of light, making them feel big and powerful. He is the grand mage - who has internalized the law of least effort - to cast spells targeted at the weakest points of the women he meets:

  • Their vanity

  • Their desire for focused attention

We will be breaking this process down today.

First, note that people love to exaggerate their importance, even if it's only in the private world of their own mind. This, incidentally, is what makes even the most desirable women in the world vulnerable, since even these dream-caliber babes don’t tire of having their self-worth validated.

The satisfaction of this primal desire underpins the state of generalized addiction to social media we find ourselves in today. Still, a flickering screen can’t compete with the presence of a charming man, for his social graces have led many a woman into complete dependence.

Another quote to consider in today’s article is a classic:

“With great power, comes great responsibility.”

Tactics Tuesdays: 3% Frames (Push Her Off the Fence)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

3% framesDo you keep running into the same objections? Construct frames that circumvent these (and increase your odds by 3-5%).

I know a guy who always struggles with chemistry with women.

He doesn't do things exactly quite right. He uses all the right tactics and techniques with women, but he uses them in this way that is just a little bit 'off'.

When you try to point it out to him, he insists that in fact he is doing everything correctly. Then he says it must be a problem with the technique or that the technique doesn't work for him.

Regardless the reason, he constantly runs into issues where he has what he thinks is a great date, followed by the woman telling him at the end of it (or texting him later on) that she "just isn't feeling it."

"There's no chemistry," she says. Or "I didn't feel a spark."

I can't get him to fix the vibe/calibration issues. He doesn't see these as a real problem, probably because he's unable to pick up on this issue himself, even when women point it out or coaches point it out.

However, I wanted to help him, so gave him a tool I knew he could use: a 3% frame to help push things his way in those edge cases where it could go either way, but "I'm not feeling a spark" is the deciding factor.

How to Work on Both Outer & Inner Game

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

inner and outer gameIt is possible to work on your self-image and outlook while also improving your game technique.

I’ve been coaching clients for many years now. Everyone has nearly the exact same issues, just in different degrees.

The universal problem they all have is taking their boring conversations that get them friendzoned or ignored, and turning them into attraction.

That was the promise that hooked me. If I learned the magic routines then sexy women would just follow me home for wild, no-strings-attached sex.

While that’s happened plenty of times, the reality is much different. I had to face soul-crushing amounts of rejection to develop the most fundamental skills.

Just learning how to approach, talk to women and hold their attention took me almost two years of daily effort.

Tactics Tuesdays: Be Happy as You Lead Her Out the Door

Chase Amante's picture
lead her outWhen you escalate but she stops you cold, it can be awkward walking her out. To keep things cool (and raise the odds you see her again & bed her later), be merry as you walk her out.

Every guy has girls he pulls home who don’t go to bed with him.

Maybe she stopped you at the kiss, or maybe you got too shy and didn’t go for it.

Or maybe you made it somewhere into the escalation, only to hit a wall of last minute resistance you failed to overcome.

Regardless, you brought her back, hoped to get together with her, then it fizzled out.

In the end, you had to lead her out the door.

If you’re a reader on this site, you know that once she crosses that threshold, without ending up your lover, the odds she’s ever coming back plummet.

Nevertheless, there’s something you can do as you walk her out that increases those odds – not to 50/50, but at least to the point where you’ve still got a fighting chance.

In Seduction (Like So Many Things), Seeing Is Believing

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

seduction seeing is believingUntil you see something, you'll be hard-pressed to believe it. That includes some of the more incredible things you can pull off with seduction.

When I was a seduction neophyte, I had this idea in my head: "Quick pickups will work with loose, low value girls. But really super, scaldingly hot girls could never in a million billion years be picked up fast. Those girls know their value."

For a few years my experience bore that out. I neither picked up super hot girls super quick, or even all that often, nor did I encounter anyone who did.

We might call this a 'stable mental model'.

2.5 years into my seduction career, I made a friend who consistently slept with lots of hot girls, some of whom were very hot. Some of those girls he bedded quick... but all the quick ones there'd be some caveat or other with.

So with each of them I'd be able to tell myself, "He met that girl on MySpace, and MySpace girls are all kinda screwed up. So yeah, she's super hot, and she shagged him on a quick first date, but doesn't invalidate the rule," and my mental model remained (mostly) intact.

Then I went traveling with a mentor and watched him pick up an insanely beautiful girl exceptionally quick. A year later I was in this same mentor's town on business and here, too, I watched him pick up very, very good-looking girls at lightning speed and bed them (and I'd be along for the ride, winging him on the girl's friend, racing through pickups happening way faster than any I'd ever put together myself at that point).

That made me realize, "Wow, it actually is possible to pick up extremely hot girls extremely fast."

But I still had some reservations.

I thought, for instance, that a more reserved very hot girl, like the girlfriend I had at the time, wouldn't go for that sort of thing. I knew her, after all, and knew she wouldn't.

Then we broke up, and a few months later I read her journal, and discovered my gorgeous, high value ex-girlfriend, whom I thought was oh-so-judicious about her sexuality, let some banker she met outside a nightclub while on the rebound from me pork her up the butt.

It took me a few weeks to fully process how this girl, who had guys drooling over her wherever I took her, and always seemed like the absolute cream of the crop to me, would end up taking anal from some guy off the street she met on the rebound.

"My sweet princess, my one-time soul mate, lying on the floor of some dingy apartment in hippie-central Ocean Beach getting reamed by the meat shaft of a random she just met." That takes a moment to get your head around.

In the end, I arrived at a very different understanding of women than what I had going in, and this shift altered everything for me.

It was a great shift -- a breakthrough shift -- that allowed me to start doing the same thing I'd watched that mentor do, and the same thing that banker did to that former girlfriend of mine.

It allowed me to pick up very good-looking women, very quick.

A year later, it was friends and students of mine going out with me, watching me pick up extremely hot girls, extremely quick, and coming to me the next day saying, "I cannot believe you got that girl. And I cannot believe how fast you got her."

Then going on for a bit about how they did not believe a girl like that would even hook up with guys that fast.

Then, a bit later still, I ended up on a phone call with the ex-boyfriend of a girl I shagged (long story how I ended up talking to that guy), who could not believe how quickly this beautiful, intelligent, highly educated girl he'd wanted to marry had jumped at light speed into bed with a guy like me. I felt bad for the guy... he began the call with a long and drawn-out sigh that told me he felt in that moment exactly the way I'd felt reading my ex's journal a few years back.

What I'd seen done, I came to do. What I'd witnessed embodied, I came to embody.

I'd never have had that transformation just from someone telling me about it.

I had to see it. I had to experience it first.

So much in seduction (and life) is this way.