Pickup | Girls Chase

Pickup

Meeting and attracting members of the opposite sex.

Should You Use Direct Game or Indirect Game to Get Girls?

direct vs indirect game
Some pickup artists swear by direct game. Others prefer indirect game. Some guys mix it up. This article is meant to help you decide what is best for you.

Hey, guys. Since we are beating dead horses lately by discussing natural vs. technical game, and inner game vs. outer game, I decided to beat another dead horse, which ironically, I have not seen being discussed much on the blog.

It’s interesting that after almost seven years of writing, I’ve decided to cover the subject bloggers and coaches tend to write their first articles about.

Well, I guess it is never too late, and I am sure some are probably curious about my take on it.

The Problem with Being Authentic when Picking Up Women

authenticity and pickup
We all want women to like us for who we are, but when it comes to picking up girls, there are times to be authentic and times to be technical.

In this final article in my series about debunking useless or counterintuitive schools of thought, we will discuss authenticity.

So far we have discussed the failings of:

Today we will go over a newer phenomenon which I have seen mentioned often lately, even here on Girls Chase – and that is the obsession with “authenticity.”

Yes, it is very important for many guys to seduce girls in a way that is authentic. But it’s not unusual that those who seem to stress authenticity are usually beginners or lower intermediate players. I have never seen such a subject discussed by more advanced seducers. Never.

In this post, I will point out the value of authenticity, but also how it can be a waste of your time and effort.

The 4 Stages of Pickup and Seduction Development

stages of pickup development
Most guys who discover the seduction community don’t taste the fruits of real success with women, because they get stuck. What stage are you at, and how can you progress?

For most guys starting out, learning how to approach women is about as fun as hammer fisting themselves in the nuts. But there comes a point when it goes from being terrifying and horrible to heroin-level addictive.

Many men ask me the question: “How long does it take to become good?”

There’s no direct answer. It depends on your desired outcome.

If you want to achieve a goal, it helps to know what that goal is.

How to Get a Girl to Kiss You First (Video)

How to get a girl to kiss you first?

Sounds like a dream.

A lot of guys out there are going to teach you gimmicks. Tricks and tips.

Some of them can work under the right circumstances, but if you really want a girl to kiss you first, you need to create an environment for her where she will WANT to do it.

That’s the secret to getting a girl to kissing you first.

Make her WANT to do it and make it EASY for her.

You’ll see. Watch the video.

The Failings of Natural Game – Why Technical Game Is Better

natural game and getting girls
Many seduction newbies get sold on “natural game” because it seems so appealing and, well, natural. But its shortcomings vastly outweigh its value for getting girls.

Since we have been discussing the trends of inner game and debunking certain misconceptions, I decided to write a follow-up on a closely related subject that took the seduction community by storm.

The subject we will discuss is natural game – the idea that pickup and seduction has to happen naturally, depending on who you are, your vibe, and your personality.

Sounds appealing right? It surely does to many, but there are some flaws to this system. I see pickup and seduction as a skillset, with tools to use. Sure, long term it will affect you and how you see women and the world, but initially, pickup and seduction is – a skill.

Natural game looks very appealing to many newer guys for some reason. But there is a reason for why most advanced or skilled guys laugh at it.

In this post, we will try to understand its limitations but also why it became popular in the first place, to truly understand its roots.

The Death of Approach Anxiety: A 10-Year Reflection (Video)

I turn 27 years old tomorrow, but I have put multiple lifetimes of work into mastering the art of seduction. I have given it almost every second of my attention for the past 10 years. I have (literally) beat myself up learning the ins and outs of the female mind.

There are still some mysteries that remain for me, but they are few, and so I want to commemorate my 10-year journey with a video on the #1 problem that most men face when finding women they want to sleep with, date, marry, or even have children with.

Approach anxiety.

It is the BIGGEST problem that all men have.

I had it HORRIBLY in my teenage years.

Then, one day, for the most part, it turned off.

Of course, I'm human and still even encounter approach anxiety to this day, but what happened when I "woke up" is that the anxiety was overcome by something greater....

This is an ode to the death of approach anxiety. A death to that which keeps most of you from finding the girl(s) of your dreams.

The Inner Game vs. Outer Game Debate

Inner Game versus Outer Game
What’s more important, inner game or outer game? Both serve a purpose, but how and when you focus on each has a big impact on your understanding and success in pickup.

Hey guys.

Today I will share a reflection on the subject of “inner game.” I will be frank; I was not a big fan of the trend back in the late 2000s when the pickup industry moved away from technical seduction into a more “self-help” oriented approach, looking at how you think and feel, rather than what you should do.

In my opinion, the discussions on forums were better when there was a technical approach because people could more easily analyze what worked and what went wrong in particular situations, and individuals could fine-tune their approach and increase calibration.

With the focus on inner game, things got blurry. It became more difficult to discuss what worked and what didn’t. The concepts were vague and abstract, making them hard to prove and falsify. Theories became philosophical rather than scientific.

As a result, newbies grew more confused, and it was harder to help them because what these guys needed was specific advice on what to say and what to do when dealing with women – not telling them how they should think or feel about it.

The quality of posts went down, and it's amusing that many newbies were swearing to this new paradigm then. Yet most of them didn't really get results.

There is a reason for why technical game is making a comeback – because it works, and it tells you what to do. It allows people to share their tricks and to have others discuss and fine-tune them. It allows for innovation and new thinking.

I suspect that this inner game paradigm was, in a way, a response to the overly robotic aspect of the community’s early days. But just because these concepts became a bit too robotic doesn’t mean that going to another extreme is a good call. But that is what happened.

Nevertheless, the discussion today will be the good old debate of inner game (mindsets, realities, and understanding) versus outer game (hard pickup tech).

It’s a debate that is almost as old and tiresome as the “direct” versus “indirect” game argument. I have taken the liberty to write this piece because most people doing the debating have little experience (such discussions are keyboard jockey magnets), and I feel that many are still confused on the subject.

The points I will make are thoroughly subjective but built upon experience. Hopefully, you will find my arguments convincing, and I believe them to be strong – but they are just opinions at the end of the day.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Force Frame Someone

force frame
You use force frames to make women (or other people) see things the way you see things. Each force frame consists of two parts: the pitch and the ditch.

Frame control is a crucial aspect of achieving your ends with other people.

He who controls the frame, controls how those within that frame perceive events.

Civilizations strive endlessly to control the frame through which the citizenry view the world. Every civilization exerts massive amounts of energy to ensure its population sees things the way it wants it to see things, and to label the way competitor civilizations see things as 'misguided', 'wrong', or even 'evil'. Every time you think another country does things the wrong way, and yours does them right, you think within the frame of your society.

Yet frame control extends to a far more granular level than that of civilizations.

Any time you interact with a group of people, frame control is at play.

Any time you interact with a single other person, frame control is at play.

When you talk to a girl, frame control is at play. Either you'll control the frame, or she will.

When women test, this is in part to see if you'll yield the frame. Women are not attracted to men who yield to their frames, but they will test (over and over) to see if you will. They must discover if you are a man strong of frame or weak of it.

There's a form of frame control you can use called 'force framing'.

Force frames are for when you want to frame something that isn't necessarily true, or the other party may not readily accept. However, you still want to impose the frame regardless.

The force frame is how you impose that frame despite the other party's 'opposition'.

Will That Girl Be Hard to Get? Why You Never Really Know

is she hard to get
Are your biases keeping you from approaching girls based on their looks or personality, when in fact those things rarely determine whether she’s hard to get?

Hey guys, and welcome back. Last week we discussed whether getting laid was easy or difficult. We looked at different factors that determine the ease or difficulty of getting laid.

Our conclusion was that it differs – getting laid can sometimes be super easy if you get lucky, and super hard if the world is working against you.

We then concluded that what is truly difficult is getting laid with high-quality women consistently. In my opinion, this can only be attained by being a celebrity or practicing pickup full time (the latter is the easiest way). Whether or not that is your goal, resources like this website will help you get lucky more often with better women. How far you want to take it is up to you.

Today’s post is dedicated to beginners – as a motivator. Many beginners may agree with my points from last week but intuitively feel that something is off. Here we have someone who has been practicing pickup for over ten years telling them pickup is not necessarily hard (although not “easy” as some may claim), yet their experience says otherwise because their skill level is low. That is normal. The better you become in any field, the more natural it becomes.

But for beginners, things can seem hard, especially if your last encounter required a lot of work.

And yes, as stated last week, certain interactions, with certain women, on certain days can be harder than others. That is also normal. It does not mean that their next lay will be as hard. There is no guarantee of that. It could be harder, and it could be easier. You never know what the future will bring.

But let’s get objective for a bit (or at least try to). The truth is, many beginners miss-assess the situation and would perceive certain women as more difficult than others, when in fact they are not.

This post is meant to discuss this phenomenon and challenge certain biases which many men have – especially beginners. This post has a very optimistic feel to it, and you probably will be left with a more optimistic view when dealing with future encounters.

More experienced seducers may also enjoy this post.

How Reality Pace Openers Help You Connect to and Intrigue Women

reality pace openers
Showing a girl that you get her and are not just another douche makes her see you as a refreshing and attractive guy. Reality pace openers get this done within seconds.

In today’s article, we’re going to discuss another powerful, versatile frame control technique. This technique will allow you to set good frames in your seductions – right from the start.

Even though techniques like this are more suited for intermediate and advanced seducers, this type of frame control is simple and easy enough to pull off so seducers at any level can use this technique and reap the benefits.

You’ll want to use this at the beginning of your interactions with women; it’s one of my favorite ways to approach. Not only does this technique enable you to start your interactions with great frames that are tailored specifically to help your seductions proceed smoothly, but it is also a very low key and innocuous way to approach women, just like situationally relevant openers.

Simply put, this is a powerful and risk-averse way to open.

Before we proceed, it’s important to note that while I’ll be sharing specific examples of how you can use this technique to approach women, it’s crucial that you understand the underlying principles first. Feel free to use the example openers word for word – they've been tested in the field with great success.

But make sure also to take in the principles and understand the concepts that make up this technique. Because once you’ve grasped them, you’ll truly see the power of this technique and you’ll be able to create more examples to use in a variety of situations.