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Investment

The art of involving a woman more deeply in a conversation, an interaction, a date, a seduction, a relationship.

Male Authority and Female Lust

Chase Amante's picture

The cocky owner of a small business bends one of his female employees over his desk after hours on a Friday afternoon, when the other employees have gone home, including a pair of male office workers who’ve been competing for that same female coworker of theirs for months.

Across town, an arrogant-but-charismatic high school running back trots off the football field after a loss. Most of the team’s down in the dumps, but he’s not; he’s taking one of the cheerleaders for a “ride around town” tonight. She’ll be the fourth cheerleader he’s slept with from his school’s squad.

male authority

That night, a trio of cute girls in flashy, sequined dresses stay past closing time in a semi-popular nightclub there in town for an “after party” that involves them, a bartender, a doorman, and the club owner. All three of the girls are naked in under an hour, and though the routine is getting a little old for each of them, all three of the men still enjoy sleeping with his new girl.

At the same time that evening, a psychologist has a discrete liaison with one of his troubled-but-sensual patients. She knows he’s married and has a family, and the last thing she wants to be is a home wrecker... but she really can’t help herself.

There are a few somethings each of these situations have in common with one another: they are male authority... and female lust.

But the greater irony under all these tales is the one that many average men who haven’t experienced such dalliances themselves spend time boiling with envy over, and vainly try to point out to any woman they can catch the ear of: outside of these environments, with this artificial position power they’ve constructed for themselves or happened into, these men are nobodies... and without that authority those men have, these women probably wouldn’t be very attracted to them.

Yet nevertheless, they are.

Satisficing and Seduction; or, Why You Probably Won't be a Bachelor Forever

Chase Amante's picture

I’m going to wade back into theory on this one, a la “Picking Up Girls and the Game of Asymmetric Returns.” Only this time, we’ll be looking at the end game of picking up, instead of the middle game. Worth noting that some of the examples in this article are as well inspired by Nassim Taleb’s Fooled by Randomness – very good book.

Riz asks a few questions in the article on office politics about “settling down”:

This leads me to my question(s)

1) Do successful seducers who see beyond classic dating ‘settle down’ ? – Thinking about it, why would they – They know that whichever girl they are with right now, there is probably out there somewhere, a girl who is even sexier, more intelligent, more fun, successful etc etc – They know they will never find Ms.Perfect – So why ‘settle’ – Whats the point?

Surely on of the big reasons most guys settle is because they fall in love with a girl and can’t help but cling onto her in false belief that they will never find another girl like her, they have to marry her now to solidify heir destined relationship and if things ever go wrong and they divorce then that’s it, life over.

2) What are your thoughts specifically on ‘settling down’ – I don’t know why exactly but even uttering those words ‘settle down’ sounds to me like giving up almost. To me it just sounds so defeatist. Why would anybody want to settle down lol, its crazy.

And I am not a young man either, I have though this for quite a while. Seems hardly anybody else really relates though.

It’s like for most, settling down is the ultimate goal to achieve in life. Everyone always talks about it in group ‘ah so are you settled yet?’ – And i’m like ‘uhh no...., should I?’

These are good questions, yeah. Personally, I’ve never had a problem with the idea of long-term relationships and children, but the concept of “settling down” has always bugged me to high heaven... since I was a small boy, in fact.

There’s just something about how most “ordinary” folks define “settling down” as something that sounds, to someone like me, and Riz too by the sound of it, like “giving up on your dreams.”

It’s like saying “I’ve done all that I’m going to do; now it’s time to ‘get serious’ and go get a wife and a house with a white picket fence and go be a wage slave for the next 30 or 40 years so I can afford to pay off the mortgage on my McMansion and fleet of minivans, then die.”

satisficing and seduction

When you’re someone who wants to do more with his life than the ordinary, you’ll tend to be quite allergic to the idea of settling down.

Yet, as alluring as the idea of bouncing around from one woman to the next until the end of time can seem, almost nobody does it... including all the men who assure you in their teens, twenties, and early thirties that they, definitely will stay single forever.

Why is that – why does almost everybody (including the folks who claim not to want to) eventually end up “settling down”?

Well, it’s all down to a little term called “satisficing.”

The Paradox of the Flirty Girl

Chase Amante's picture

Every time you see her, she twirls her hair, smiles at you, and asks you how your day is going. She’s just an absolutely delightful girl, and you know she likes you. You’ve just got to wait for the right moment to make your move.

You’ve known her for ages, and it always feels like you’re building more and more steadily towards something happening. The connection between the two of you is undeniable; you can feel it. It’s visceral and real.

What I’ve noticed more and more as I’ve coached men on dating is that so many of the women that men get caught up on and start chasing after are, in fact, not actually women they really do have some special connection with... but rather, in fact, are simply flirty girls.

flirty girl

They’re women who enjoy flirting with men, teasing men, leading men on, and all because it makes them feel good.

No man will ever admit he’s in love with a flirty girl. His ego always gets in the way; of course a woman isn’t just flirting with me; maybe with some other guy, he thinks, but me? She means it with me.

But the flirty girl is not hard to figure out, nor is she difficult to call on her game-playing. It does, however, take an honest view of the “connection” you have with her... and the stones to tell her to put up or shut up.

Chase's Guide to Time Management

Chase Amante's picture

I don’t like veering too far off-topic from seduction and relationships too often, since I’ve watched many a website, television show, or business slip into decline after losing its focus, becoming too scattered and spreading itself too thin with the material it covers. But, since a number of readers have specifically requested this, here’s an article on how I run my time management.

Personally, I’ve never given much conscious thought to time management. I’ve just always found myself with everything I need to get done done, and lots of free time to spend however I like – sometimes on personal development, sometimes on relaxation and recovery. Time management is more of an unconscious drive for me than anything. The past few years I’ve been busier than usual, since it’s been my trial-by-fire in learning how to build businesses (and having many of those businesses fail along the way), but even then, I’ve mostly gone through stretches of a few months of extreme busyness at the time, before correcting things and returning to a more balanced lifestyle.

time management

I haven’t read much on time management itself, because most of the people writing on time management I find are people who haven’t really done things with their lives that I’d care to emulate. It seems like most of them spend their time writing books about time management, and most of their productivity consists of writing books about productivity. However, I do come across bits and pieces here and there from various people that I find useful and incorporate, and that help make me even better able to manage my time.

So, without further ado, and with no claims to being some great time management guru or anything of the sort, here’s how Chase Amante personally approaches the subject of managing his time; a companion piece to the one I did on time efficiency (you should probably read that one before reading this one, if you haven’t already read it).

Picking Up Girls and the Game of Asymmetric Returns

Chase Amante's picture

asymmetric returnsI’ve been relistening to Nassim Taleb’s wonderful book Fooled by Randomness, which is a probabalist’s dream read. And if there’s one thing that picking up girls turns you into, it’s a probabalist.

Reading it (or listening to it on audio, as I am), you see a great many parallels between stock trading and seduction. And you also come to understand why some men succeed at picking up lots of different pretty girls, and why most men never will.

In many things in life, but especially in trading and in pickup, there is what you’d call an asymmetric distribution of returns. And that means that by participating in trading for stocks or picking up girls or anything else with an asymmetric distribution, you’re opening yourself up to asymmetric returns.

But the mind does not take well naturally to asymmetric returns. It doesn’t grasp them. It isn’t built to work that way.

And the result of this is, an endless abundance of great returns for those few souls willing to go against the grain, fight the emotions that go with it, and chase down their asymmetric returns in spite of their struggling and fearful or frustrated brains... and an endless source of frustration and disappointment for the majority of souls who just go with the flow.

Mutual Escalation

Alek Rolstad's picture

Mutual EscalationToday I am going to discuss a very simple concept that will make your physical escalation smoother, more efficient, and much more powerful.

I am sure the concept won’t sound like rocket science. And I am sure that some experienced players here at Girls Chase probably do this unconsciously, but I’d still recommend they read this post, in order to become aware of what they’re doing.

Others have probably thought about this concept but have only rarely used it in practice, as I seldom see it used by men out there.

Either way, this concept is VERY simple. Beginners, intermediates, and pros will all benefit from learning about it, and I also believe most men will be able to pull it off (as long as you manage to “simply escalate”).

I will call this concept “mutual escalation”.

The Parting Shot

Chase Amante's picture

Something I see guys doing that always makes me want to hold up my hands and go, “Wait! Too extreme!” is getting miffed and walking away from women without giving them a properly put-together parting shot.

I was guilty of it for a long time, and when you’re still being emotionally affected by the women you’re meeting (i.e., before it’s become more or less pure process with little emotional involvement), it’s pretty easy to fall into this trap.

That is, the trap of realizing that things aren’t going your way with a given girl, getting upset, and storming off out of the interaction with a spiteful “Huh. She’ll realize what she’s lost when I’m gone!” attitude.

parting shot

Ever do this? I bet you have, and if you’re like most men I bet you sometimes still do.

Thing is, how often do those girls you abruptly cut contact with like this ever get back in touch with you and turn things around? Never, right? Occasionally they may reconnect with you, but ever notice how they treat you rather patronizingly in those cases? They know they’ve gotten to you.

At best, all you ever get out of ending things with girls this way is a psychic victory... you get to think to yourself that you “won” because you walked off and left her hanging.

But you didn’t win, not really. You didn’t get the girl.

There is a way you can though – not all the time, but a whole lot more often than you will with the “get irked and storm off” approach, in any event.

I call it “the parting shot.”

How Your Lifestyle Colors Your Perception of Relationships

Chase Amante's picture

Growing up, I was shown again and again in film, books, and television that there was precisely one (1) path a man could follow with women, romantically-speaking: date a few people, find the right girl, and settle down.

perception of relationships

This never sat entirely right with me, because while I enjoyed the idea of pairing up intensely with some amazing woman, my tastes also changed enough that I also enjoyed fantasizing about pairing up with lots of different amazing women. Not all at once (what a headache!), but mostly more or less one after another. Maybe having children with the different various amazing women along the way. Even while fixated on that one special girl, I could never imagine more than a year or two out into a relationship with her... sort of like most Hollywood films. The movie in my head always ended after the exciting part.

When I discovered the seduction community, I found two more beliefs about how relationships could go, coexisting rather uncomfortably side-by-side with that first. Plenty of men learning how to get girls still aimed for a settled life with one girl they’d commit to more or less forever; some of them because of a lack of abundance mentality, but many of them because that was just what they really wanted, and the cultural narrative gelled with their own intrinsic desires.

Those other two views on relationships are the ones I want to discuss today. I won’t go much into the conventional mainstream view of relationships – you already know that one plenty well enough (and, for the record, I think it’s a perfectly fine and doable path for those who want it), so instead, I want to talk about the other two:

  1. The “Committed Relationships are Bad for Men” View, and
  2. The “Committed Relationships are Playgrounds for Men” View

... and I’ll also talk about where both of these views come from, and how and why your lifestyle radically colors your perception of relationships.

How to Word Your Requests So They Never Get Rejected

Chase Amante's picture

In “Should You Buy Gifts for a Girlfriend?”, Troy asks about how to word your requests such that they stand the highest likelihood of success with the lowest likelihood of rejection. He says:

The right way shows consideration and gives a command at the same time. So in the right way I’d ask you Chase: “ I’d like to see an article on giving commands (and words to use) while showing consideration for the other person to up your chance of getting a YES! I’ve had trouble giving commands to people that give them a way out but also make them more likely to go with my request. Thanks!

word your requests

First off, you’ll never get everyone to say “yes” to all your requests, all of the time. If you ask someone to buy you a new car, unless it’s one of your parents or a fairly wealthy and extremely generous lover, you’re probably not going to get a “yes” to that.

However, what I can show you is how to word your requests in such a way that even if the other person does not comply, it’s not really a rejection and stacks up little or no negative compliance against you... and, I can show you how to escalate your compliance requests so that you stand the best possible chance to get a “yes” to whatever you may be asking.

8 Friends with Benefits Rules You Must Obey

Chase Amante's picture

friends with benefits rulesFollowing up my piece yesterday on "The 4 Stages of Every Friends with Benefits Relationship", today I'm going to get into the nuts and bolts of running your casual relationships by giving you 8 friends with benefits rules that are absolutely mandatory you follow... to not have everything go to hell in a hand basket, that is.

Friends with benefits are lots of fun, but these relationships are also loaded with the potential to get messy on the turn of a dime. All it takes is a little bending of the rules, and you can very quickly find yourself:

  • With a friend with benefits who's falling in love with you

  • Falling in love with your friend with benefits yourself

  • Experiencing confusion in your social circle about where you stand

  • Enjoying reputation damage or drama or other bad effects from things gone awry

Break the rules, and you're playing with fire without a fire extinguisher handy.

Adhere to them, and, well, let's just say you're handling fire in a responsible, fun, and mostly safe way.

So what are these rules you've got to stick to, anyway?