Investment | Page 10 | Girls Chase

Investment

The art of involving a woman more deeply in a conversation, an interaction, a date, a seduction, a relationship.

When to Throw the Ball into Her Court (and When Not To)

Chase Amante's picture

ball's in her court “The ball’s in your court.”

You either love uttering that line, or you never utter it.

It’s a truly liberating line when you’re using it right – some girl you think likes you, or you think might like you, but who is being coy or difficult about coming out... you’re just going to fire that text off to her, and forget about her.

Or a girl you met somewhere social, but she isn’t accompanying you: “Come find me later.” Maybe she will, maybe she won’t.

These can be difficult things to say, and even more difficult things to adhere to, when you’re first starting out and chasing women is second nature. Even if you manage to tell a girl the ball’s in her court, you may find yourself texting her the next day anyway... or the day after.

And the other side is sometimes true too – you may find yourself shoving women off your plate too quick and too often, not wanting to deal with the sometimes-stressful dance that is seduction.

Perhaps that girl you told to get in touch with you later, who never did, would’ve gotten together with you had you persisted just a little bit harder in person or over text.

Drawing the line between when to persist and when to toss the ball in her court is a dicey call sometimes... yet it may determine the difference between you chasing after her and still not getting her, and you flipping the script on her and getting her chasing you.

When You Should React vs. When You Should Not

Chase Amante's picture

Being unreactive to challenging situations is often the strongest option available to you. When a girl is testing you hard, someone is publicly belittling you, or things are just generally going crazy and spiraling out of control, the most nonplussed, nonchalant man typically wins: he shows dominance, control, and unflappability.

when to react

However, sometimes the calm of unreactiveness must be set aside, and situations simply need dealing with.

Sometimes the girl testing you needs to be set straight; sometimes person belittling you needs to be put in his place; sometimes the crazy situation requires you to place both hands on the wheel and make things sane again.

If you react in situations where remaining unreactive is ideal, you violate the Law of Least Effort and appear tryhard; yet, if you fail to react in situations where your reaction is sorely needed, you seem weak, fearful, and indecisive.

That makes things necessarily a bit trickier, because there isn’t a perfect one-size-fits-all response to every situation; sometimes it’s better to not react, other times better to react.

To know which one is called for, you must have a read on the specific situation... and you must be able not to bow to social pressure.

Unjustified Compliance for Fun and Profit

Chase Amante's picture

unjustified complianceWhen you’re already pretty good with girls, you can start bending rules and not just get away with it – you can actually make things go better.

Today’s article is going to be about how you can amplify the impact of your compliance requests and demands by subtracting some of the supporting elements (justifications) that make them easier for women to agree to.

In effect, you can get more investment, faster, by making women make harder choices to invest.

Who’s this suited for? Only men who are already talented at getting women to invest in them heavily all the way up to and including the bedroom. Use it in situations where you haven’t developed your skill set as fully yet and you’ll be shooting yourself in the foot.

So, if you’re newer or intermediate, this is probably one you’ll want to largely steer clear of except perhaps in micro-cases where you’re already quite good at getting certain levels of compliance, or dealing with a girl who’s ridiculously into you. We’ll clarify this below so it’s less abstract and more clear cut.

But if you’re already pretty advanced, and you want to take women from “I think I like this guy” to “I am sold on this guy”, adding in some barebones higher stakes compliance requests to your interactions can be a fun and effective way to do this.

Another Bad Night? Don’t Get Washed Out – Change It

Cody Lyans's picture

Have you ever just had a bad night?

One of those nights where everything you want to happen just doesn’t materialize, and as a result you get pulled into this space where everything you do is some how miscalculated and wrong?

One of those nights where afterwards you shake your head and feel like “What the hell was that!?”

bad night

Well, I have good news: it gets better, and the better you get the more you avoid these nights.

There are things you pick up along your journey that help you avoid getting washed out like this, and I thought I’d share some things I’ve noticed to help you avoid some of the discomfort when things aren’t going all that well.

Dealing with People Who Want You to “Prove Yourself”

Chase Amante's picture

prove yourselfThere’s little more frustrating than that guy demanding you prove yourself to him, or that girl challenging you to show her how badass you are.

It always feels uncomfortable and icky when people do this to you, but you may feel pressured to respond... or not feel like there are really any valid other options to do BUT prove yourself or look “disproved.”

And then, when you prove yourself? Either the other person dismisses your proof and tells you “Not good enough”, or you get the slow clap “I’m impressed” response that drives you nuts – either way this other person asserts his superiority.

For all you care, he could have commanded you to be a good monkey and dance, and you (unhappily) obliged.

Obviously, tap dancing on command isn’t the way to handle this one.

Instead, you must understand how to deal with it when it arises, and you must understand what prompts it in the first place.

Why Do Girls Act Bitchy When You Walk Up? Approach Walls

Alek Rolstad's picture

bitchy girlsWhen approaching women, sometimes you will encounter a bratty attitude, where girls act like they don’t want to be approached even if they actually do.

Throughout this article, I will be referring to these “bitchy girls” as having “approach walls” (also called “bitch shields” in the pickup community, but let’s use a nicer sounding term!).

Today we will look at why women sometimes become this way when we approach them, and then we’ll talk about how to handle that behavior. After reading this post, you will never again have to wonder why women are being bitchy to you when you approach them. And, believe it or not, rarely is it about them not being attracted to you…

She’s Not So Socially Savvy – You Must Be It for Her

Chase Amante's picture

socially savvyThis one is not so much for beginners as it is for guys who are intermediate+. If you score “Journeyman” or higher on the diagnostic quiz, read on – otherwise, you can still read this one if you like to get a taste of what lies ahead, but after that you’ll probably want to file it away for later... it won’t apply to you just yet (but will a little later on).

No doubt you remember when you first started out with girls... it seemed like everyone around you was light years beyond you social calibration-wise.

And that was especially true of women.

At all times, they were 3 or 4 chess moves ahead: thinking ahead, planning ahead, and half the time you’d fall into weird social situations of others’ design that took you places you never intended or wanted to go. Ugh... irksome, bothersome, and really just kind of annoying.

When’s the last time that’s happened to you recently, though? If your answer – despite plenty of active socializing – is “it’s been a while”, you may have started realizing something else – that no longer are you playing social skills catch-up with the rest of the world, but they are playing it with you.

You’re a major league player to their little leagues by comparison.

What’s more, you’re beginning to realize that a lot of what you used to write off as “rudeness” and “aloofness” and girls “being bitchy” or “giving you the cold shoulder” in your earlier days were just plain old fashioned social awkwardness from women who didn’t know how to respond to you otherwise in a way that would both accomplish their objectives and not open them up to unnecessary social risk.

And if you really want to take your results and run with them, doing the same old stuff you did back when you were just starting out isn’t really going to fly anymore.

How to Say No to Others and Turn Down Compliance

Chase Amante's picture

how to say noIn Part 3 of my 3-part series on compliance, I’ll be discussing how to say no to people who want compliance out of you – and when specifically to say it (as opposed to saying yes).

You can read Parts 1 and 2 of the series here:

  1. How to Get Her to Say “Yes”
  2. What If She Says No?

Turning down compliance is actually an especially dicey area for most. Even for experienced guys... even for men who are naturals socially... you will run into the odd situation here and there where you aren’t sure whether to say yes or no, and aren’t sure how to say no even if you probably should.

Tell me you’ve been here before: there’s a really cute girl, and you really dig her, yet the dynamic you have with her is just that you’re chasing her a little bit too much... yet, you sense that if you let up even a bit, she’s going to vanish off into the ether.

And then, out of the blue, she says: “Can you wait here a minute? I have to go make a phone call,” then turns to go leave.

Can you say no to this? Should you? What’s your play?

You can sense that letting her do this only worsens your position with her and moves you farther away from getting anywhere with her... but you just don’t know what else to do.

What If She Says No?

Chase Amante's picture

You did it; you took the plunge and asked her to do something... to come with you, go out with you, tell you something, show you something... to invest.

And now, she’s said no.

what if she says no

Well what exactly do you do? What do you do when she says no?

This is a pressing question for men. If guys didn’t worry about answering the “what if she says no?” question, men everywhere would walk up to the women they wanted and address them with reckless abandon.

There’d be no “missed connections”; no “I saw this beautiful girl today, and she saw me, and I wish I’d gone and said something to her.”

No more “waiting for the right moment”... not really.

Because there’d be no fear of looking awkward and feeling uncomfortable if it didn’t work out. Yet, this is not the case, because men generally do not know how to handle a no.

In Part 2 of our 3-part series on compliance (you can read Part 1 here: How to Get Her to Say “Yes”), we’re going to tackle your options for how to proceed when you get a “no.”

How to Get Her to Say “Yes”

Chase Amante's picture

You meet a girl, and it’s going okay. She’s chatting with you, seems nice enough, and isn’t trying to pry herself away like those girls who really obviously aren’t into you do. Yet, she isn’t exactly throwing herself at you, either.

So, you decide to get some more investment from her; partly as a compliance test to see where you’re at, and partly also to ratchet up attraction by making her get a foot in the game too (instead of sitting on the bench watching you play).

To do this, you ask her to move a little ways with you: “Hey, let’s move over there, the lighting’s much better.”

But, she says no: “I’m comfortable here, I don’t want to move.”

get her to say yes

Gulp. What do you do now?

If you stay and keep talking as if nothing happened, you’ve yielded control of the interaction to her, and if experience has told you anything it’s that whatever chances you had before are sunk now.

Yet if you leave, the chance you’ll get another shot with her is not so hot; you can always reopen her later on, but there’s a good chance she’ll be gone or locked up in conversation with someone else by then, and you won’t exactly be riding back in on a majestic white horse at that point either. You’ll just be that guy she didn’t connect with earlier who circles back around for another shot.

As a third alternative, you could launch into a hard push... but she’s not that sold on you yet so you realize your chances of pulling this off are dim, and besides, you don’t really want to pull the nuke out of your arsenal this early on and launch into a battle of wills before the game is even afoot.

At this point, it may well seem like your interaction with her is all out of gas, and you’ve no choice left but to pull off the highway and hitchhike home.

But what if she says no and you respond another way?