Investment

Previously, we covered common mistakes to avoid that have the potential to hinder our success.

We’ve talked about the importance of having a conversation outline as well as a customizable conversation starter you can implement today with the girls you are meeting.

In the last article we explored how our voice, awkward tendencies, and early attractive conversation affect our communication with women. In this post, more concrete examples of effective and ineffective behavior will be discussed, as we discover the final three fundamentals of conversation. Those are:

• Screening
• Rewarding effort
• Connection building

However, before diving further into the nuances of conversation, let’s explore the why behind the what and the how of communication in regards to attraction so we can better understand what makes our behavior effective or ineffective.

Note from Chase: this article from J.J. is focused on a direct “how to sext” method that is different from and complementary to the more playful method Colt talked about in “Sext Like a Pro: Is Sexting Girls Worth Your Time?”

Before we get started I’d like to just point out that this article is geared primarily toward teaching how to sext your way to racy, naughty photos from girls for intermediate to advanced guys. It’s not so much that I think someone who isn’t on that level yet with women cannot pull this off, but rather that it’s easy to blow girls out if you don’t do it correctly.

If you’re at the beginner stage, or even just a hair past it, I’d caution against using this for the mere fact that you need to be making it as far as you can in each interaction so that you are able to rack up reference points and experience so you can improve with women faster.

Additionally (if you mess up while doing this), creeping girls out isn’t ever a good thing, and, if you’re trying to pull this off with women who live near you, there’s a good chance she probably knows some of your friends or colleagues. Don’t let what happened to Brett Favre be your fate.

Those caveats out of the way, let’s get right to this, shall we?

If you’ve overheard women talk about men who ask them for sexy pictures of themselves, I’ll bet the reactions they claim to have had weren’t very positive, were they? However, don’t be fooled by this chicanery; if I had to wager on it, I’d guess that about eighty percent of women (and a greater percentage than that the more attractive and mature she is!) possess at least a small-to-medium sized smut gallery stored away on their cell phones for this very purpose.

And, some would surprise you, as I’ve dated quite a few women who would send me nude photos all of the time.

If there’s a whole lot going on in your head right now about this... good. I’m going to answer all those swirling questions you have along with many more that you haven’t even conjured up yet.

Was chatting with J.J. yesterday about girls contacting you out of the blue with a, “Hey, what’s up! How are you? We should get drinks/coffee and catch up!” message, and what this means / the right way to play it.

These contacts – whether by text, phone, social media, email, or what have you – out of the blue always seem exciting; they’re like free dates (or even a free hook up, if you’re imagining far enough ahead).

You get them and it’s, “All right! Score! This girl wants me bad!”

And then... much of the time after you reply, you never end up meeting her.

All that initial enthusiasm she had to reconnect with you simply dies down and peters out.

That might seem irritating, or mysterious, or downright vexing to you – “Who can understand a woman?” you might say.

But it all has to do with those little things called ‘intrigue’ and ‘investment’, and what happens when you have too little of them – or, how things play out when you have enough.

“The ball’s in your court.”

You either love uttering that line, or you never utter it.

It’s a truly liberating line when you’re using it right – some girl you think likes you, or you think might like you, but who is being coy or difficult about coming out... you’re just going to fire that text off to her, and forget about her.

Or a girl you met somewhere social, but she isn’t accompanying you: “Come find me later.” Maybe she will, maybe she won’t.

These can be difficult things to say, and even more difficult things to adhere to, when you’re first starting out and chasing women is second nature. Even if you manage to tell a girl the ball’s in her court, you may find yourself texting her the next day anyway... or the day after.

And the other side is sometimes true too – you may find yourself shoving women off your plate too quick and too often, not wanting to deal with the sometimes-stressful dance that is seduction.

Perhaps that girl you told to get in touch with you later, who never did, would’ve gotten together with you had you persisted just a little bit harder in person or over text.

Drawing the line between when to persist and when to toss the ball in her court is a dicey call sometimes... yet it may determine the difference between you chasing after her and still not getting her, and you flipping the script on her and getting her chasing you.

Being unreactive to challenging situations is often the strongest option available to you. When a girl is testing you hard, someone is publicly belittling you, or things are just generally going crazy and spiraling out of control, the most nonplussed, nonchalant man typically wins: he shows dominance, control, and unflappability.

However, sometimes the calm of unreactiveness must be set aside, and situations simply need dealing with.

Sometimes the girl testing you needs to be set straight; sometimes person belittling you needs to be put in his place; sometimes the crazy situation requires you to place both hands on the wheel and make things sane again.

If you react in situations where remaining unreactive is ideal, you violate the Law of Least Effort and appear tryhard; yet, if you fail to react in situations where your reaction is sorely needed, you seem weak, fearful, and indecisive.

That makes things necessarily a bit trickier, because there isn’t a perfect one-size-fits-all response to every situation; sometimes it’s better to not react, other times better to react.

To know which one is called for, you must have a read on the specific situation... and you must be able not to bow to social pressure.

When you’re already pretty good with girls, you can start bending rules and not just get away with it – you can actually make things go better.

Today’s article is going to be about how you can amplify the impact of your compliance requests and demands by subtracting some of the supporting elements (justifications) that make them easier for women to agree to.

In effect, you can get more investment, faster, by making women make harder choices to invest.

Who’s this suited for? Only men who are already talented at getting women to invest in them heavily all the way up to and including the bedroom. Use it in situations where you haven’t developed your skill set as fully yet and you’ll be shooting yourself in the foot.

So, if you’re newer or intermediate, this is probably one you’ll want to largely steer clear of except perhaps in micro-cases where you’re already quite good at getting certain levels of compliance, or dealing with a girl who’s ridiculously into you. We’ll clarify this below so it’s less abstract and more clear cut.

But if you’re already pretty advanced, and you want to take women from “I think I like this guy” to “I am sold on this guy”, adding in some barebones higher stakes compliance requests to your interactions can be a fun and effective way to do this.

Have you ever just had a bad night?

One of those nights where everything you want to happen just doesn’t materialize, and as a result you get pulled into this space where everything you do is some how miscalculated and wrong?

One of those nights where afterwards you shake your head and feel like “What the hell was that!?”

Well, I have good news: it gets better, and the better you get the more you avoid these nights.

There are things you pick up along your journey that help you avoid getting washed out like this, and I thought I’d share some things I’ve noticed to help you avoid some of the discomfort when things aren’t going all that well.