Female Mind

The guys who get what they want with women aren't asking for permission. And women don't want them to ask for it, either.

Hey guys, welcome back!

In this article we’re going to explore the question of whether or not guys should ask girls for permission regarding what they’re allowed to do.

We’ll start by touching on how girls view and treat sexy guys (i.e., you after lots of self-improvement).

Then we’ll do an exercise in future projection (if you’re not there already) where I will invite you to imagine how a man with a strong frame would deal with the most sexually attractive women... were he in the process of seducing them into his boudoir.

We’ll touch on the importance of setting sexual frames as soon as possible.

And finally we’ll talk about how you can pretty much do anything you want with a girl, sexually speaking, without needing to directly ask her for permission -- provided you read her correctly and present yourself congruently.

(that last bit is important. You must be able to read women appropriately

We've talked on Girls Chase before about the importance of giving women permission to desire you. Which might almost sound silly at first... she's a strong adult woman, she doesn't need a man's permission to desire him! Right?

But there are all kinds of rules women feel socially obliged to follow.

Most of these rules are unspoken... the unconscious rules of the social contract.

All a society is is rules and trust. People agree on (often unspoken) rules, and trust each other to follow and uphold the rules, and trust the society itself to be a fair one, based on these broadly understood but largely unspoken rules. During times of social upheaval, you actually get large numbers of people in violation of the unspoken rules, which leads to an erosion of trust in the society, and a schizophrenic society. If you're interested in the big picture, you can read my article on how the violation of long-standing intersexual rules has led to a collapse of trust between the sexes in the West. But this article is not about that.

What this article is about is the individual man and woman.

Namely, you, and a woman you like.

She's with you, she feels like there are things she 'has to' do, and other things she 'has to not do', and you want to shake her free of these constraints so she will join you on your exploits.

How do you break her free?

Does it seem like nice, sweet girls exist outside of sexuality? They don't – they're sexual creatures too, even if it isn't always obvious at first.

Go through life as a man, and you will encounter different classes of women.

There is the flirtatious, outgoing girl it's easy to flirt with. She's a minx and you just know she wants you to touch her and hit on her. She loves the attention.

And there is the regular girl, who isn't so outgoing. She still flirts sometimes, and you feel like she 'can take it' if you get a little bit aggressive with her. You don't flirt with her or touch her as much as the aggressively flirtatious girl, yet you still do a bit.

Finally, there is the kind, sweet girl, who seems like such a nice person, completely not flirtatious at all. She is innocent; childlike. Even if she's a grown woman and very pretty, it feels somewhat wrong to you to flirt too much with this woman or touch her or be all that aggressive with her. It feels like she isn't about that; you're not sure she could 'handle that', and you certainly don't want to hurt such a sweet human being.

These perspectives on women have some truth in them, while still being flawed.

There's a reason many girls both of the ordinary regular girl variety and the innocent sweet girl variety end up with asshole bad boys, and part of the reason is these are the only guys who regularly ignore 'sweetness' or 'disinterest' signals.

What that means is that while assholes bother some women who aren't interested, they also make a lot more progress with those other girls whom more respectful men hesitate to flirt with, get sexual with, and touch.

In a world where everyone’s noses are glued to their phones, a woman lowering her phone around you can be a telling sign she likes you.

Ever since smart phones became ubiquitous, guys on seduction forums have had a selection of similar questions/complaints:

• "Girls are too absorbed in their phones to approach!"
• "How do I get girls to take their head phones out?"
• "I can't get approach invitations anymore, women don't even look up now!"

Several nights ago I walked down the street and marveled to myself at how ubiquitous it was: men and women of all ages, young and old alike, totally entranced by their smart phones. Smart phones aren't some 'young hip thing' that all the kids are on and the old folks haven't clued into. Everyone is.

Every solo person I passed on the street had his nose glued to a phone, or, in a few cases, didn't, but was talking to someone via earphones or a Bluetooth headset instead.

Even in some of the groups I passed, some or all of the people would have their phones out in front of them as they talked and laughed to friends.

That might seem like a major approach inhibitor if you came up in the old days where people were more, shall we say, present in their environment. How can you approach a girl when she's so occupied already?

I actually quite like the global smart phone addiction, for two reasons:

1. It's a lot lower pressure to approach anywhere people have their phones out now (which is pretty much anywhere other than a dance floor these days), because bystanders are far more absorbed in their own cell phone adventures and pay even less attention to you

2. You will find out pretty quick if she is going to be willing to ditch her phone to talk to you, or not. Which is about as big an obvious proceed/don't proceed sign as you're going to get (this makes it simpler to weed out the uninterested gals, who quickly return to their phones, from the interested ones, who zero in on you, or at least linger away from their phones)

However, I want to highlight one specific quirk of behavior you'll see with women on phones when they like you.

This is a sign a girl likes you that is pretty obvious once you're aware of it. You've likely seen it a bunch already, and are subconsciously aware of it. Well, now we're going to make it conscious, so you can act on it as soon as you see it.

That sign is that when she's awaiting your approach or engagement, she will put her phone down or sometimes may (gasp) put it away.

You might think men and women approach mating in similar ways. And on some aspects they do. On others, they're very different.

We live in a world where we're constantly told men and women are interchangeable and that men's wants are women's wants and women's wants are men's. In some cases for some things this is true... but in many cases and for many things it isn't.

The trouble this error-filled belief system can lead to is multi-layered. If you have a girlfriend, a female friend, a friend-with-benefits, or wife you think is "just like you" whom you think thinks about things "just like I do" and whom you believe wants "all the same things I do", you'll be a lot more open to and uncritical toward her suggestions. That's fine for things where there is no conflict of interest between your and her life and mating motivations.

Where there is conflict, however, her positions may quickly mislead you... without you, if you hold this "men and women are basically the same and largely interchangeable" philosophy, even fully realizing you've allowed yourself to be misled.

It's crucial for your power and sanity as a man to realize that while a good woman's advice can often be prudent, it isn't always... and that there are differences between male and female motivations, and you must always keep these in mind.

You need to know when sex differences enter into play. And you need to be wary of when the counsel you receive may be biased against what is truly in your interests due to competing sexual interests.

Hey, guys. Welcome back!

Here’s my final article on Female State Control (FSC), and to some extent, social frame. I will try to tie it all together and give you the big picture.

In doing so, I will refer to posts from our beloved Chase. He has written amazing posts that I enjoyed reading on floors and ceilings as well as acceptability, all closely related to FSC and social frame.

I will also mention an older post from Chase on state crashes, troughs, and cresting that is extremely relevant to this discussion.

One word of caution: my mention of these posts will be my interpretations of these posts. After numerous email exchanges with Chase on the subject, it seems like I understood his points quite well.

This article is packed with details and will be a dense post to some. It’s recommended for more advanced readers. Make sure you are rested and caffeinated before reading. Reading twice to understand it all is advised.

In our ongoing exploration of Female State Control (FSC), we’ve identified several causes and solutions. But wait, there’s more! Let’s fill in those missing pieces.

Welcome back! This is a continuation of our discussion on Female State Control (FSC). If you'd like to catch up, here are the articles to date:

1. Female State Control (FSC): Theoretical Causes and Effects
2. Female State Control (FSC): Preemptive Measures
3. Female State Control (FSC): Social Frame and Comfort
4. Female State Control Vaccines: Social Frame
5. The Social Dynamics of Female State Control in Pickup
6. Female State Control Vaccines: Rapport and Fractionation
7. Female State Control Vaccines: Investment
8. How to Take Women Home Without Having the Right Social Frame
9. Social Acceptability and Sexual Acceptability in Dating
10. How Too Much High Value Can Trigger Female State Control

Last week, we mentioned other social factors that can trigger Female State Control that are not related to a lack of social frame. Today we will discuss other reasons why women may hold themselves back and control their state when they are getting aroused by you.

If you’ve been tagging along up until now, you probably know that FSC and social frame are subjects I’ve discussed a lot lately. But for those of you who are new to our discussion, FSC is the phenomenon of women controlling their state: holding back, turning cold, and ejecting when they get stimulated/aroused by a guy. It can happen with a guy she doesn't consider socially acceptable to hook up with (if her friends are likely to find out, for example).

You can view this post as an overview covering everything I haven’t had a chance to mention in my earlier posts on FSC. Many points listed here may be small; however, they are still significant. I will not discuss rare and uncommon situations but instead will look at common interactions that I believe many of you will face or have faced before.

As I cover these points, I’ll do my best to present reliable solutions to the problems. As we will see, not every issue covered will have an answer (and you may not always want to fix it, especially if the problem is significant). However, I will try to compensate with some discussion and analysis.