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Why Girls Play Hard to Get (PLUS How to Get Them)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girls play hard to getWhen a girl plays hard to get with you, it's actually because of one of three key reasons. She might be shy… she might be curious… or she might want to hook you in more…

You met a girl, you hit it off, and you're certain that she likes you.

All the signals are there, after all.

She smiles when you talk to her. She laughs at your (sometimes unfunny) jokes.

She waits for you. She plays with her hair. She stares deep into your eyes while you talk.

Yet, when you ask her out, she evades. "I can't," she says. "I'm too busy right now."

And you're perplexed! You'd swear this girl likes you. You're sure she does. She's not just some random flirtatious girl.

You've seen her with other guys. She isn't this way with them. There's definitely something there between you. You're definite about it.

However, she keeps being flirtatious with you, but keeps evading your attempts to get together with her.

Why do girls play hard to get?

Girls Who Cling vs. Girls Who Run Away

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

clingers vs. runnersSome girls are clingy. Others run away from you. What makes a girl a clinger or a runner, and what can you do to alter their behavior?

Sometimes guys will bed a new girl, then no matter their pre-sex frame, or what they did post-sex, or how they set expectations, the girls react in some odd ways anyway.

If you've ever had a girl you just slept with start acting like you're her Prince Charming and the two of you will doubtless soon go elope, or you've had a girl you had an amazing, incredible time with leave the next morning and never text or call you again, you know what I'm talking about.

In seduction, we train to have an "I am responsible for my results" mentality.

This is a necessary mindset to adopt for any improvement-oriented man. It's how you leave the victim mentality people in the dust.

Yet one of the things that can happen is men end up blaming themselves for results that are totally out of their control.

Clingy girls and elusive ones are a couple of the "things you can't really control."

What Power Men (Really) Have in the Dating Game

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

power in the dating gameWhat power do men have in dating? It may seem like women hold all the cards. Yet men have one special thing at their fingertips that women desperately crave…

Are men totally without power in the current dating game?

It could seem so to many.  Today I would like to discuss this subject while discussing what gives women that “power” and whether or not this ends up creating a skewed dating game.

Many of you will start seeing this article as some rant – but truth is, it is not. It will start of with the typical “the dating game is unfair” type of narrative – usually shared by the manosphere. However, I invite you to read the whole article, since I believe things are not as one-sided (and if you came here to get a confirmation for your flawed “the world is unfair” type of belief – you may leave disappointed).

As a matter of fact I will later in this article move on to discuss what power men actually have.

No, we are not talking about the typical “men have economical and political power” which is the argument most feminist would give.

Whether true or not (most likely some truth in it) is completely irrelevant to our discuss because whether there are more men making up the elite (political and economic) has very little impact on normal men’s dating lives.

In fact, when discussing the subject of equality (and inequalities) between the sexes, the subject is always surrounding political and economical power. Yet, we rarely see “legal” inequalities being discussed, most likely because the results of such discussion would be contrary to the current narrative (men are usually disfavoured in courts of law – especially in cases regarding parenting, etc.).

Although kind of relevant to pick up and seduction, political/economical/legal power will not be the subject of today's discussion, because it has little impact on actual dating strategies and the mating process.

Are Modern Women's Dating Standards TOO High?

Chase Amante's picture
women's dating standardsMany men today believe women's standards are too high. The reality is, women's standards have ALWAYS been high… or at least, women have always claimed this.

Again and again of late I've seen this argument that women's dating standards are simply too high.

That women expect too much of men, they want men who are perfect, and their standards are completely unrealistic.

Most recently, a reader commented this on my article about the source of 21st Century Western men's distinct lack of action and motivation, saying:

I dont think men dont have the drive to have sex; its just that womens standards are too high and most men dont make the cut. Most men are trying and failing to get laid, others have given up, and a small percentage is getting almost everything. We have to be realistic and acknowledge that most men are going to be average no matter what. The problem is that women have too many options and society allows them to go for the top men.

This is a common refrain from a lot of men's sites on the web.

women's dating standards“How's any guy supposed to have a shot in this day and age?”

But is it true?

Are you, indeed, condemned to suffer loneliness and deprivation, sucking up the scraps of women who fell off the tables of ALPHA MALES, those rare few men who get all the girls?

Is this simply your lot in life, assuming you're unable or unwilling to join the ranks of those few elite men?

6 Traits of Women Who Like Short Men

Tony Depp's picture
women like short menMost women may like taller men. Yet if you know what traits to look for, you can spot the women who are open to dating shorter men… or who even prefer them.

Where are the women who like short men?

I used to watch this cartoon called “Invader Zim.” It’s about a jerk alien who’s one of the shortest in a society that places high status on the tallest members. The leaders of the race are actually called “The Tallest.”

The joke is obviously aimed at us, the human race, and our predisposition to give status to the big and tall. It’s tied to our DNA, I suppose. Men like women with thin waists, wide hips, and big breasts for baby-rearing. Women like big, tall, strong men to protect them from wild beasties in the night. We haven’t evolved all that much.

Does that mean if you’re under five feet tall, you’re doomed to dating other Hobbits? Are you going to be stuck traveling the yellow brick road, forever limited to other Oompa Loompas? Don’t fret little one.

Today I’m going to alleviate the insecurities of the countless vertically-challenged men seeking confirmation that they’re not doomed to a life of AI sex dolls and Cheetos. There's plenty of hope for your dating as a short man.

Yes, there are women who like dating short men. It’s not a niche you’ll find on porn sites (I’ve never looked), but thanks to something we call having “game,” any man can rise above (snicker) the competition.

Do Bad Evil Seducer Men Corrupt Innocent Women?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

corrupt women
Was your pure princess corrupted by a dirty playboy? Does it really even work that way? We explore whether women are innocent doves, ruined by filthy, devilish men.

I've been meaning to write this article for a bit, and we just got another one of these comments. The comment was on my article where I talked about feeling sad when splitting with a woman, not knowing if she'll ever find another guy on my level.

The commentator naturally said this showed I was an evil man for dating women and ruining them for other men and that I should only do friends-with-benefits or something (as if that was something I was even interested in!).

So I guess now's as good a time as any to address this belief that some guys hold.

Namely, that women are innocent, dove-like creatures, who are tragically ruined by diabolical romance fiends (like me), who seduce them, capture their hearts like they've never been captured before, then boot them out into the cold, to never be able to truly love a man again.

It's a kind of reverse-Disney; Prince Charming, rather than making the Princess's dreams come true, transforms her dreams into bitter lifelong regrets.

Is this how it really works?

With Girls, Tomorrow Isn't Promised

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girls tomorrow
In a fast-paced world where women have a lot of options, the men who excel with women are those who don't just wait around before they make things happen.

One week back, an inexperienced forum member who's been making strides and overcoming a lot of self-doubt and other issues met a girl who was so beautiful he thought she was completely out of his league. He pushed through it anyway though and got her to the point of public oral sex in a park on their first date. He did wonderfully, considering his experience level and his expectations.

However, in the park, he had some erection issues. He couldn't get hard, and, despite his girl clearly, strongly desiring sex with him, rather than slip his limp penis into her and try to get it up, or see if he could give her a half-decent time with the rubbing of his pelvis on her clit with his soft penis in her, he elected to end things.

When he texted her again the next day, she did not respond.

I congratulated on getting as far as he got, given his level of experience. And I urged him to persist in his follow-up with her... sometimes that will work, and you can pull a victory from the jaws of defeat. Don't just give up on getting this hot girl you almost got because she's unresponsive at first.

But, given he had her, and let her go, what are the realistic odds he manages to get her out again and beds her properly?

Maybe 50/50?

What would be the odds though had he took his limp penis and inserted it into her vagina anyway and gone a few rounds even if he could not get it up at all?

I don't know for sure, but a lot better than 50/50.

With women, no matter what we are talking about, tomorrow isn't ever promised.

If you want a girl, and she's in front of you, whatever you want to make happen, you must do your best to make it happen now.

Name a Woman's Behavior If You Want Her to Change It

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

woman's behavior
Name a woman's behavior to alter it. Most people aren't conscious of what they're doing or why… when you make her conscious, you change her trajectory.

People do all sorts of things without being conscious they're doing them.

They engage in behaviors -- often behaviors they don't themselves feel good about -- driven by emotions they're barely aware of.

You, however, at the very least by reading this site, are a student of human behavior. You're more conscious of the things you do and why... and you are more conscious of what those around you do, and why.

And when you point out to someone what he is doing, and make him conscious of it, often that is going to affect whether and how much he continues to do that thing.

If what he's doing is something negative, that shows a trait like jealousy or insecurity, you pointing it out is going to tend to motivate him to assert control over that behavior.

You can use this 'behavior naming' with women to help nudge them into fixing or quitting bad behavior they engage in around you.

Girl Types: Distracted or Sexually Repressed Women

Chase Amante's picture
repressed woman
Ever meet a girl whom you never see express sexuality in any way, around you or any other guy? She might not be asexual – she might just be repressed.

Sometimes a woman's sexuality is repressed.

Or, she is so distracted by her other interests in life that boys and sex take a back seat.

When you meet her and you're with her, you won't pick up on any kind of sexual vibe from her. She doesn't talk about sex with you. If you bring it up, she changes the subject. If you joke about it, she ignores the joke. All the fun sexual stuff you do with most girls to her just bounces off. The vibe is 'interested in you but not really in a romantic way'.

Yet, if you do things right, and continue to lead her forward, you can bed her. She is not a 'friend zone' girl or someone without a sex drive.

It's confusing at first. Every guy's met girls his tactics don't work on because the girl's not interested. Such a girl deflects everything you say or do, yet 10 minutes later you see her draped all over another guy. The problem in this case is not 'her'... it is 'her plus you/your game'.

With distracted or repressed girls, this is not the case. You'll do your thing with them, not get your usual reaction, but then if you walk off they will not be draped over another guy should you see them later. If you're in a bar or another place people socialize lots, they might be in another non-sexual looking conversation, or they'll still be alone, having had some other guys come up, take their shots, fail to feel anything happening, then wander off too.

Repressed/distracted girls tend to often actually be fairly straightforward to bed... if you know how they work.

This article is about how they work.

Women Resist Intimacy When They Feel They Have No Influence

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

resistance to sex
Women love sex, but they can resist it for all sorts of reasons. In this article, we discuss why a girl needs to feel some control and inject her influence into a seduction.

You are getting physically intimate with a girl in a club, things are escalating rapidly, and suddenly you realize you can’t keep going or you’ll have to take off your clothes and go at it in the club.

What do you do?

To get to this point, check out my recent articles on club game if you haven't already:

Most will say “Ah, whatever” and take what they can get, try to deal with it once they hit the wall, and hope the girl wants to go home with him.

Honestly, this isn’t the worst idea, since you have already done a lot right, and she might forgive a few mistakes here and there.

However, most girls will throw up their defenses during escalation, and if you are unprepared, they will catch you flat-footed and end the relationship before it begins.

So it pays to dot your ‘i’s and cross your ‘t’s and get the last part of the escalation right.