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Sexiness is Critical to Casual Relations

Chase Amante's picture

Something I noticed when I made the shift from being cool and friendly to being cool and sexy and edgy was that all of a sudden, women wanted to go to bed with me fast, and they were a lot less pushy about relationships. At the time, I just thought, “Well, of course, women want to have sex with a sexy man.” Well, I just read some research that fleshes this out quite a bit more.

In the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol 100(2), February 2011, Terri Conley of the University of Michigan’s Department of Psychology goes back and reopens research into casual sex propositions, and her findings with this new research are quite revelatory, at least when it comes to breaking down old paradigms in the “men want casual sex, women don’t” view of the world.

Do Women Only Want Sex?

Chase Amante's picture

Hi mate,

I just wanted to shoot you a quick message to say thanks for answering all my questions - I have your blog on my Chrome start bar now and love reading all the articles (and my game has improved a lot).

I got your blog address from over at mASF where i post occasionally under Lachstar; if you have some spare time, I'd love to hear your thoughts on Neo-Rio's manwhore style of game, which seems both directly opposed to your style (in that it seems cold and impersonal, whereas yours is warm and giving) and also complimentary (getting the girls to chase him, etc). I've been reading a bit about his style of game and I have some mixed feelings about it. Like - where does he get his affection from? He'd get his sexual needs met, for sure, but affection would be hard to get simply being a whore for girls.

Anyway, thanks again, and if you want to respond to my email or post it somewhere on your blog, either is good. Can't wait for the book!

Regards,

Lachstar

Thanks for writing, Lachstar. Lach raises some interesting questions here. He’s referring to a poster (Neo-Rio) over on a seduction forum called mASF, who has a style of seduction that Lach describes as rather cold. This post is written as a reply to Lach’s email, outlining my thoughts on Neo-Rio’s approach and what differences and similarities exist between his and my take on seduction.

How Girls Show Interest

Chase Amante's picture

Women are subtle in how they show interest. Well, by male standards, anyway. Even when women think they are blatantly obvious, they’re quite often being very subtle by male standards.

Learning to tell how girls show interest is a very valuable skill for a man, because it will allow him to operate with greater assurance he’s making the right move at the right time, and will also allow him to pick up the pace when a woman signals she is ready.

The last couple of girls I slept with surprised me a little at how quickly they were ready to get together. They gave me some hints that probably would’ve seemed fairly subtle; a friend of mine remarked that one of the girls I took home and bedded rather quickly quite recently hadn’t even seemed to be terribly interested in me, and that it just looked like we were having a good conversation. Being able to read the signals they gave me was the main reason I moved as quickly with them as I did.

Girl Types: Shy Excited Girls

Chase Amante's picture

Ah, one of my favorites – the Shy Excited Girl. She’s the one who acts demure and conservative, but she’s bursting at the seams with excitement and exuberance underneath (hopefully for you, although quite often just in general about life). I love these kinds of women personally because they have a kind of innocent enthusiasm about life that’s just contagious, and they tend to be very self-improvement oriented, which means that as you continue to grow and change and evolve, they’re the most likely of any woman out there to keep pace.

These girls are different from regular shy, quiet girls, and from wild party girls. They’re not soft on the inside like regular shy, quiet girls are; nor are they operating with reckless abandon on the outside like wild party girls are. Instead, Shy Excited Girls are full of life, energy, and curiosity, but they modulate that on the outside with reserve and practiced calm. They’re the girls who were filled with boyish energy when they were young, but society pushed back against them and they learned to control themselves and appear more “ladylike” on the outside. But in reality, they’re tigresses.

Shy Excited Girls will often seem quiet and reserved, but you can typically tell by their strong eye contact and decisiveness (as well as their tendency to get excited about all manner of things, laugh a lot, and generally be quite free) that they know what they want, and they know what they don’t want, and they’re going to get what they want and have nothing to do with what they don’t want. These women have the most raw, natural confidence of any kind of woman, and refreshingly don’t really care all that much what other people think. They do what they want.

She Doesn't Even Need to Know Your Name

Chase Amante's picture

she doesn't need to know your nameAbout 3 ½ years ago in Washington, D.C., I was getting frustrated because I was finding this consistent pattern of how I’d be telling girls all these amazing, fascinating things about myself, and they’d act bored or unimpressed and things would go nowhere and I’d lose them. This kept happening, and anytime I see something happen again and again, I make the problem a priority to focus on and iron out, so I decided to try what at the time seemed like a radical strategy and one I didn’t really even think would work: I’d focus on telling women as little as possible about myself and just let them talk about themselves.

My first time doing this was on a date with a 21 year old fashion model from Texas who’d just moved to town. I’d met her very briefly on the subway a few nights before, and she knew nothing about me other than my name and that I lived in town, and had only given me her email address. I put together a rather elaborate process to get her on a date despite these facts, which perhaps I’ll go into in another post. She was unsure about me, and wanted to meet for coffee before heading to the comedy show I’d wanted to take her to go see, just to make sure I wasn’t a weirdo and that she liked me.

We sat at a Starbucks for about forty-five minutes, with her talking about herself, her friends, relationship problems her friends were having, and all manner of things, and me simply showing interest and doing some active listening, and saying nothing about myself and her asking me nothing about myself. When it got close to the time for the comedy show, I asked her if she wanted to go, and she replied with an enthusiastic “yes!” During the comedy show, I cracked a few jokes and got physically very close with her, and afterward I invited her home for a nightcap. We went straight home to my place and slept together. She later told me that she didn’t date much and never had hook-ups or one-night stands.

Girl Types: Club Queens

Chase Amante's picture

Club Queens is the post we’ve chosen to launch a new series on the Girls Chase blog, entitled Girl Types. Club Queens have always been a bit of a favorite type of woman of mine in particular, so I figured what better girl type to start us out on than them!

Ever notice how in most nightclubs there are one or two women you just can’t miss? They’re gorgeous, gregarious, and charming the socks off of everyone in their proximity. They know their way around people in social situations like the back of their hands, and they’re constantly the center of attention, and constantly seeming to be enjoying every minute of all the attention they receive, as well.

I call these girls “Club Queens.”

Women's Forgotten Past

Chase Amante's picture

Any man who’s had a girlfriend before can tell you that women keep secrets. Quite often, a lot of secrets. Far more than men. In fact, many men have virtually no secrets. But find me a woman with no secrets, and… well, she’s a rare woman indeed.

What kind of secrets do women keep, and why do they keep them? That’s the topic of this post.

Cracking Tough Cases

Chase Amante's picture

Every now and again, a guy will meet a girl who seems really great, but despite his best efforts, he just can’t make anything happen with her. It can be very frustrating – especially when it’s a girl he knows well and cares about, and with whom he has a great connection, and whom he maybe even comes close to succeeding with, but can’t close the gap.

Why’s this happen? And what, exactly, do you do when you end up in that situation? That’s what I want to talk about in this post.

What Women Want

Chase Amante's picture

It's an age old question – one that most men spend their lives trying, unsuccessfully, to figure out. What do women want? Books and films have been made about it; men have spent fortunes in pursuit of it; reputations have been staked upon and lost in the timeless search for the answer. Even the venerable (now largely-discredited) Sigmund Freud, who claimed to have spent thirty years peering into the “feminine soul”, ultimately found himself asking, close to his death, “What does a woman want?”

What Women Think About Their Husbands

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Just wrote this in response to an interesting conversation elsewhere on the Internet, and want to share here. Hope you enjoy.


Most women, like most men, think about what the other person "owes" them more than what they owe the other person. The women I've hooked up with who were straying from their husbands seemed to come in one of two flavors:

  • Woman Scorned, or
  • Desperate Housewife

I've never slept with a married woman who was excited about / crazy in love with her husband. Here are some comments from the women who've spoken them: