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Signs She Likes You: Puts Her Phone Down or Away

Chase Amante's picture
she puts her phone down
In a world where everyone’s noses are glued to their phones, a woman lowering her phone around you can be a telling sign she likes you.

Ever since smart phones became ubiquitous, guys on seduction forums have had a selection of similar questions/complaints:

  • "Girls are too absorbed in their phones to approach!"
  • "How do I get girls to take their head phones out?"
  • "I can't get approach invitations anymore, women don't even look up now!"

Several nights ago I walked down the street and marveled to myself at how ubiquitous it was: men and women of all ages, young and old alike, totally entranced by their smart phones. Smart phones aren't some 'young hip thing' that all the kids are on and the old folks haven't clued into. Everyone is.

Every solo person I passed on the street had his nose glued to a phone, or, in a few cases, didn't, but was talking to someone via earphones or a Bluetooth headset instead.

Even in some of the groups I passed, some or all of the people would have their phones out in front of them as they talked and laughed to friends.

That might seem like a major approach inhibitor if you came up in the old days where people were more, shall we say, present in their environment. How can you approach a girl when she's so occupied already?

I actually quite like the global smart phone addiction, for two reasons:

  1. It's a lot lower pressure to approach anywhere people have their phones out now (which is pretty much anywhere other than a dance floor these days), because bystanders are far more absorbed in their own cell phone adventures and pay even less attention to you

  2. You will find out pretty quick if she is going to be willing to ditch her phone to talk to you, or not. Which is about as big an obvious proceed/don't proceed sign as you're going to get (this makes it simpler to weed out the uninterested gals, who quickly return to their phones, from the interested ones, who zero in on you, or at least linger away from their phones)

However, I want to highlight one specific quirk of behavior you'll see with women on phones when they like you.

This is a sign a girl likes you that is pretty obvious once you're aware of it. You've likely seen it a bunch already, and are subconsciously aware of it. Well, now we're going to make it conscious, so you can act on it as soon as you see it.

That sign is that when she's awaiting your approach or engagement, she will put her phone down or sometimes may (gasp) put it away.

Male vs. Female Mating Motivations Laid Bare

Chase Amante's picture
female mating motivations
You might think men and women approach mating in similar ways. And on some aspects they do. On others, they're very different.

We live in a world where we're constantly told men and women are interchangeable and that men's wants are women's wants and women's wants are men's. In some cases for some things this is true... but in many cases and for many things it isn't.

The trouble this error-filled belief system can lead to is multi-layered. If you have a girlfriend, a female friend, a friend-with-benefits, or wife you think is "just like you" whom you think thinks about things "just like I do" and whom you believe wants "all the same things I do", you'll be a lot more open to and uncritical toward her suggestions. That's fine for things where there is no conflict of interest between your and her life and mating motivations.

Where there is conflict, however, her positions may quickly mislead you... without you, if you hold this "men and women are basically the same and largely interchangeable" philosophy, even fully realizing you've allowed yourself to be misled.

It's crucial for your power and sanity as a man to realize that while a good woman's advice can often be prudent, it isn't always... and that there are differences between male and female motivations, and you must always keep these in mind.

You need to know when sex differences enter into play. And you need to be wary of when the counsel you receive may be biased against what is truly in your interests due to competing sexual interests.

Female State Management and Social Frame: The Big Picture

Alek Rolstad's picture

female state control

Hey, guys. Welcome back!

Here’s my final article on Female State Control (FSC), and to some extent, social frame. I will try to tie it all together and give you the big picture.

In doing so, I will refer to posts from our beloved Chase. He has written amazing posts that I enjoyed reading on floors and ceilings as well as acceptability, all closely related to FSC and social frame.

I will also mention an older post from Chase on state crashes, troughs, and cresting that is extremely relevant to this discussion.

One word of caution: my mention of these posts will be my interpretations of these posts. After numerous email exchanges with Chase on the subject, it seems like I understood his points quite well.

This article is packed with details and will be a dense post to some. It’s recommended for more advanced readers. Make sure you are rested and caffeinated before reading. Reading twice to understand it all is advised.

Female State Control: More Causes and Solutions

Alek Rolstad's picture

female state control
In our ongoing exploration of Female State Control (FSC), we’ve identified several causes and solutions. But wait, there’s more! Let’s fill in those missing pieces.

Welcome back! This is a continuation of our discussion on Female State Control (FSC). If you'd like to catch up, here are the articles to date:

  1. Female State Control (FSC): Theoretical Causes and Effects
  2. Female State Control (FSC): Preemptive Measures
  3. Female State Control (FSC): Social Frame and Comfort
  4. Female State Control Vaccines: Social Frame
  5. The Social Dynamics of Female State Control in Pickup
  6. Female State Control Vaccines: Rapport and Fractionation
  7. Female State Control Vaccines: Investment
  8. How to Take Women Home Without Having the Right Social Frame
  9. Social Acceptability and Sexual Acceptability in Dating
  10. How Too Much High Value Can Trigger Female State Control

Last week, we mentioned other social factors that can trigger Female State Control that are not related to a lack of social frame. Today we will discuss other reasons why women may hold themselves back and control their state when they are getting aroused by you.

If you’ve been tagging along up until now, you probably know that FSC and social frame are subjects I’ve discussed a lot lately. But for those of you who are new to our discussion, FSC is the phenomenon of women controlling their state: holding back, turning cold, and ejecting when they get stimulated/aroused by a guy. It can happen with a guy she doesn't consider socially acceptable to hook up with (if her friends are likely to find out, for example).

You can view this post as an overview covering everything I haven’t had a chance to mention in my earlier posts on FSC. Many points listed here may be small; however, they are still significant. I will not discuss rare and uncommon situations but instead will look at common interactions that I believe many of you will face or have faced before.

As I cover these points, I’ll do my best to present reliable solutions to the problems. As we will see, not every issue covered will have an answer (and you may not always want to fix it, especially if the problem is significant). However, I will try to compensate with some discussion and analysis.

Does Sex Damage Women's Long-Term Potential?

Chase Amante's picture
sex damage women
Do you make a woman worse as a future girlfriend, wife, or mother when you go to bed with her? Many people think you do.

On my article about player guilt, Ben asked:

Could  you address the final issue that you bring- that sleeping with women  damages their ability to have long term relationships?

You made a fairly convincing case that emotionally, assuming you are  going to flirt and go out and attract women, not sleeping with them  isn't doing them any favors.

Maybe we really shouldn't be going out and flirting with most girls  (excluding the ones who need an emotional escape or similar i guess)  from an emotional standpoint?

More importantly though, how do you justify flirting with girls then  sleeping with them, knowing it damages their ability to have long term  relationships? This bothers me more than the emotional aspect.

-ben

The issue he's talking about was where I paraphrased some 'web wisdom' thrown about about women. Some of it says sex is liberating to women. Some says sex is violent, oppressive, and patriarchal. Some say sex is empowering. Some say it ruins women for the long-term. Those aren't my opinions; they are however common tropes you will run into on the Internet.

Ben's question, though, is one worth exploring... particularly as it ties into the concept of player guilt (which that article Ben commented on was about). If you sleep with a woman, are you damaging her future potential as a girlfriend, wife, and mother?

A growing movement online seems to have arrived at the conclusion "yes, sex damages women's futures."

The men who arrive at this conclusion though follow a chain of logic that proceeds thus:

  1. Women with higher numbers of sex partners are, on average, worse partners and mothers

  2. Therefore, when men have sex with women, they degrade women's abilities to be competent partners and mothers

While we do have plenty of evidence that women are less faithful the more partners they have, and we've all heard anecdotes of irresponsible man-crazy single mothers ditching their kids to chase the homme du jour, there's a big causal jump between those two points. This casual leap of faith is where guys trip themselves up.

That is to say, women with high partner counts are (on average) worse as mothers and partners. This is true.

Yet their partner counts are a symptom of what makes them worse in these roles -- partner count is not the cause.

And when you take a woman to bed, you are also not 'the cause'.

How Too Much High Value Can Trigger Female State Control

Alek Rolstad's picture

female state control
In our series on Female State Control (FSC), we’ve learned how high value and social frame can bypass FSC, but can too much of it actually work against you?

Hey, guys. Today I will continue my discussion on social frame and female state control (FSC). However, I will take a different angle. We will discuss some other reasons why FSC is socially useful.

We’ve discussed FSC and social frame a lot lately, but if you are new to this, check out the previous articles.

In a nutshell, FSC is the phenomenon that happens when women control their state while feeling stimulated or aroused and do not feel ready to allow themselves to be captivated by an attractive guy. If you’ve encountered a situation where everything seems to be going well, the vibe is good, and things are escalating fast... then out of the blue, the girl:

  • Disappears
  • Wants to go dance
  • Turns cold
  • Acts weird in general

...or any other action that communicates that she is actively trying to de-escalate the vibe. That's FSC.

It happens because she feels things are going too fast, she is losing control, or she is getting stimulated by a guy who she does not feel “allowed” to hook up with. By “allowed” we refer to social frame as defining whether a woman feels allowed on a social level to hook up with a guy. If you have a strong social frame, it will help overcome a lack of her feeling allowed to get carried away by you. It also makes it easier for her to backward-rationalize her attraction for you socially.

Today, let’s discuss other social reasons why women control their state when they are around you. We’ll focus on the social aspects like in my previous posts on social frame, but the reasons covered here are not due to a lack of social frame but something else, or the opposite. You might have too good of a social frame. Okay, this may seem counterintuitive, but everything in pickup can be a double-edged sword.

I will also try to suggest solutions for each of the causes.

Let’s get to it.

There’s Always One Final Shit Test Before Sex

Varoon Rajah's picture

shit test before sex
Women test men to ensure they aren’t with a loser or impostor. The final shit test before sex can be a real doozy, so make sure you’re not caught off guard.

I approached her on the street in the rain. She was a sexy young Asian girl who walked past quickly. I turned and caught up to her and opened. She smiled but said she was in a rush. I quickly asked if she was single; we had a quick one minute exchange, and I grabbed her number.

We texted in a flirty way, and she was pretty invested in the texting. I set up a date for the following week on a Tuesday (one of my standard dates). We went to an art gallery then walked over to have drinks. However, the vibe on this date felt different from most others. It was fast, and she was touching me often. At times, I got the sense that she was getting impatient when she started looking at her watch repeatedly. At this point, I hadn’t even gone through my sex talk stack yet; once I began to bring it up, she told me that most of her friends were gay men and she was super nonjudgmental.

Well, okay, neat.

She looked at her watch a third time and was quiet.

We had only met for an hour and change, but I figured what the hell; let’s try pulling anyway, and I went for it.

I just invited her home. “So I think I want to show you my art, and I have this really awesome beer you’ll love that I brought from Canada. We can sit on my rooftop and have drinks. Let’s get out of here.”

“Are you inviting me over to have sex with you?” She replied.

With a deadpan face, I said, “Yes.” And smiled.

Without stopping, she said “Okay” and started getting up to leave.

The moment we walked into my apartment building, I kissed her. It was on before we even got into my place.

I passed her shit test, and we screwed all night.

Do Women Want to Be DOMINATED in the Bedroom? (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

Do women like being dominated in bed? The answer is obvious, isn’t it?

Of course there will be many protests to the opposite, but usually these are protests of TIMING or CONTEXT.

“I don’t like it rough... all the time.”

Right, but 9/10 times? 8/10 times? What we talking here?

My stance on this has gotten a little softer over the years. I used to be the “If you don’t split her open every time, you’re a bitch,” but then I've also encountered some situations where I’d go too hard and it’d make girls feel like a fleshlight... which they love, but maybe just not YET.

Some girls need to be warmed up to the really crazy, dominant sex.

But once they’re comfortable and trust you... the doors EXPLODE.

Watch the video and see why.

You're Worried About Stuff She Doesn't Care About

Chase Amante's picture
she doesn't care
You might worry what she'll think of your clothes, hair, mood, or your place. But she doesn't always care about this stuff as much as you think.

There are many things men often think women care about... that they really, absolutely do NOT.

It's one of the biggest mental blocks that holds men back with women. Guy worries about something women don't care about, and proceeds to not try. "I'm too X; she won't want me. So I won't try." "I'm not Y enough; she won't want me. So I won't try." Meanwhile the reality is she doesn't care about X or Y, or not to the extent you think she does.

I have a friend who was prolific with women years back and took some time off from proper dating. He's now getting back into the swing of meeting new girls. The other day he had a sexy girl eye him up hard... another guy was hitting on her friend, and this girl wanted my buddy. But he had a few reasons to not go for her: he had to finish some work he had a deadline for, and also... his place was too dingy and dirty. He'll switch to a newer, nicer apartment in a few days and prefers to wait to pick up until then.

The work thing is understandable. But the apartment thing stuck out at me.

Because women (most women) do not care about a dingy apartment when they are into you enough.

I have slept with plenty of women in small, crummy apartments or hotel rooms.

I have shagged women in friends' filthy, crumb-filled, stained sheets that hadn't been changed in months.

I have shagged women on the dirt outside, shagged them on rocks, have gone raw on countless women I just met (most objections I've gotten to that have come during or after, rather than before). I have shagged women after not having showered for a week. I have shagged women when I had body odor they complained about (but not enough to stop the sex. Also, just for the record, my body odor is usually not bad. Not sure why it occasionally is. Diet? Stress? Who knows?). This is all stuff about which a whole lot of guys would say "Oh no, I couldn't possibly have sex with her now, because X!"

Women will tell you they care about all this stuff. But mating itself is a dirty act, and once a woman decides she wants you, dirty stuff she'd have told you would be a deal breaker other times largely stops mattering.

I grew up compulsively clean, too. It took me time to get over that, and to realize all but the most germophobic women do not care about it, when they want you. I get a kick out of dirty lays today. It's a bit of a thrill to be some girl's dirty man. Many guys these days are too tidy to be that for her. (that said, I do usually try to keep things clean. If only for my own peace of mind)

However, this article isn't just about being a dirty lover. It's about ALL the stuff guys use to talk themselves out of taking action... yet that girls don't actually care about.

There is a lot more stuff guys think women care about that they don't than dirty apartments, sheets, showers, or smells.

Female State Control Vaccines: Investment

Alek Rolstad's picture

investment and social frame
We know how getting a girl to invest in you makes it easier to get her to do what you want. But can investment also overcome a lack of social frame?

Hey, guys! Welcome back to our final article on social frame (although I may write more about it in the future if something new comes up).

Social frame is a conceptual bundle covering the social part of seduction and whether she feels it's socially okay for her to hook up with you. It considers whether you are the type of guy she usually hooks up with and whether you match with her on a level that is socially acceptable to hook up with.

Our goal with establishing a social frame is to make her feel allowed to hook up with you.

Escalation and other forms of stimulation are about making her feel a desire to hook up with us. But if she does not feel allowed to hook up with us, she may pull the plug and control her state. We have labeled this “female state control” (FSC). If you want to find out more, read my previous posts on the subject.

(This is all closely related to Chase's post on floors and ceilings; the concept is VERY relatable to social frame and female state control.)

Having a proper social frame makes her feel allowed to hook up with you, reducing the chance of her controlling her state. Or at least it buffers the FSC mechanism.

Previously we discussed three dimensions of social frame:

Today we will discuss the fourth dimension: investment. This is nothing new to the more advanced seducer, but its connection to social frame and FSC is what may be new to them. So read this. Beginners may learn the fundamentals or at least receive links to great in-depth posts.