Why do you never hear from what the Internet’s dubbed ‘alpha
providers’ – men who keep the pants on in their relationships, even
over the long-term?
The morose tales of men who have become ‘beta providers’, who have
gone through the ‘betaization process’... men who’ve lost the drive,
strength, and ambition of their youths and become punching bags for
their women... these men’s tales are all over the Internet.
Yet, you hear nary a peep from their opposites, those men in
provider roles who remain the captains of their ships.
Is it because they’re quiet?
Or, because they do not exist?
A commenter named Insidious Sid, weighing in on Alek’s post on sexual economics, remarks:
“This
“lover turned provider” idea is the biggest load of blue-pill nonsense
ever to hit the internet. Once she “has you”, no matter how alpha you
were, you now have provider status. She “conquered” you, and now she
will be sexually attracted to OTHER alpha males who she has yet to
conquer. Women like conquest just as much as men do. Men get bored
after they conquer the trophy wife and cheat on amazing looking women –
and most men think “Wow, I’d never do that.” Well, he’ll never get the
chance. Conversely, the female will cheat on even a high value male and
people will gasp “But he’s such a high value male, why would she cheat
on / divorce / ruin a good man?” Same reason. Once a person, man or
woman, has a member of the opposite sex in the “co-committed long-tern
relationship (tm)” this is a whole new power dynamic. One part of “red
pill theory” I think has it wrong is that you can “game your own wife”
and alpha-up and keep the other alphas out the door. It’s a great
theory, but my theory is once she gets the ring on your finger and you
sign up for the house, mortgage, the full meal family deal, you also
sign up for divorce, alimony and child support. Guys, let’s be real.
Decent, handsome and successful lawyers, doctors and athletes are going
through the divorce and family law meat grinder just like regular men
are, albeit likely in smaller numbers. The point is the institution of
marriage and being a provider is a sour deal for a man of ANY status.
He’s got more to lose than gain regardless of his position in the
mating arena.
*REAL* Alphas have nothing to DO with ANY of that crap. They bed
the top females and move on. They’re not there to pay, they’re there to
play.
There is no such thing as an Alpha Provider. He’s the mythical
creature all women want, and they know he *does not exist* so they try
to convert Mr. Alpha into Mr. Alpha/Beta hybrid and what happens? She
will ultimately fail. She will be the subject of many a rom com – the
Cinderella trying to turn the successful handsome worry free aloof guy
into the exact same man, but also loyal, sweet, caring... think a
shirtless Matthew McConaughey... rocking a swaddled infant in the baby
room he just painted. This is the fantasy of every woman alive. Alpha
looks, money and prowess with the servitude and commitment and *caring*
of the beta provider. This is mother nature’s cruel joke on women –
letting them think in their hamster-driven minds that such a feat is
possible.
Alpha males can become beta providers. Beta providers can stop
*CARING* and *PROVIDING* for women/children, get in shape, get
fashionable, get a better crib, get some game... but perhaps they are
just physiologically wired to provide. Perhaps they will never
*naturally* exude the kind of confidence a real natural-born Alpha does.
Interesting and well written article, but I think it’s got some
major blue-pill philosophy in there, stuff that’s already been
disproved in the field, so to speak.”
Another way of putting what Sid’s weighed in here with is like so:
You only have two (2) options-
- Be the single bachelor forever, and forever bounce from
girl-to-girl
- Take a girl long-term and become a doormat
Sounds depressing. You’re either trapped perpetually in hedonism,
which is fun until it gets stale a decade or so in (usually sooner),
or... you’re somebody’s doormat.
Well, spoiler, I’m going to tell you that’s a whole lot of hooey...
but so are the mainstream ideology of “the man’s REALLY in charge, even
if the woman bosses him around a bit” and the pickup ideology of “you
have to game your wife”.
Instead, I’m going to tell you about something else. Namely, being a
legitimate alpha provider.
A
few hours ago I was in a girlfriend’s apartment with her and some
of
my girlfriend’s friends. I showered there, and when I finished my
shower I left the bathroom in just a towel, then returned to dry
my hair.
Last week, I
tackled the common pickup / manosphere belief that 
