Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

The Beginning is the Hardest Part

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By: Chase Amante

beginning is hardest part
Why’s it have to be so hard to start something new? The truth is, whether it’s sports, art, business, or dating, the hardest part is at the start.

In 2005, the tire company I worked for considered me one of the best salesman in the district. Back in 2001 though, the first customer I ever served as a salesman had so little confidence in me (as a result of my obvious slowness, jitters, and uncertainty) that at one point she stopped me cold, looked me dead in the eye, and told me: “You’d better not fuck up my car.”

In 2006, I’d perform my music for people and they would flip out and tell me I should be on the radio. But in 2002, when I first began to make music, most of what I got was a barrage of hate, telling me my music sucked, I sucked, and (probably the most oft-repeated phrase I got), “Kill yourself, faggot.”

And in 2010, I was doing well enough with girls that I reached a point where my ideal girlfriend-quality girls became a breeze for me to get, and I knew if I went out and picked up hard enough, I could probably find a girl to take home (it might not necessarily be easy – a lot of that is down to luck... but doable). Yet, when I made my first real efforts to meet girls via cold approach in 2001, I failed so hard that I didn’t even try again for another 3.5 years.

I’ve watched a lot of guys get good with girls over the years, and most don’t suck as hard as I did at the beginning, or for nearly as long. Nevertheless, I share these examples to introduce a concept it’s important you get: that the beginning is the hardest part.

If you can get past this part, it gets easier and easier from there.

You Only Get One Second Chance

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By: Chase Amante

she re-approaches
Talk’s over and she’s gone away. Then there she is: she re-approaches you. Get the re-approach right and she’s yours. But mess up, and, well...

Cold approach is hard.

You get a brief moment with a stranger, and if you do well she gives you some windows. Sometimes things reach a natural end though, where you don’t get the girl then, but it’s time for things to end.

You take her phone number, plan to meet her later, and that’s it for now.

Or maybe it hadn’t gotten that far, and you just say farewell.

Sometimes if she really likes you though... And she starts to feel like she should’ve made her interest clearer or left a window open for you... She will return.

She’ll present herself again, and she will give you a second chance.

She’ll re-approach you, or give you an explicit verbal or nonverbal signal.

But if you don’t jump on her re-approach, that’s usually going to be it.

You’re finished if you miss it.

You might have another shot with her later if you know her via social circle... If you fix attainability and build the preselection to interest her in you again.

However, if it’s cold approach, 99 times out of 100 you’ll just never see her again.

What to Do When a Girl Rebuffs You

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By: Chase Amante

girl rebuffs you
What do you do when she rolls her eyes or sticks her hand in you face? How you handle it is down to if it’s a soft rebuff or a hard one.

Three girls in a nightclub, dressed flashy, keeping to themselves. The redhead was in a shiny, sexy beige dress. The blonde was in tight jean shorts and a white top with no bra. They had an older gal with them, perhaps late 30s, curly black hair and defiant.

I watched one man walk up to them, get spurned, roll off.

Another guy approached; snubbed, and he left.

So, I waited. And after a time, I saw my opening: we’d all moved out to a quieter part of the venue, and at some point the three girls moved out into the same area, out of the loud dance club part.

I was with a few friends who were good with girls but weren’t habitual cold approachers, and they debated whether to make an approach or not. I was just there to spend time with my friends, not to meet girls per se. But I set down my glass and walked over to them.

The girls saw me coming and closed ranks; another sad man to reject. When I reached them, the older gal gave me a half second of eye contact before she put her hand up in my face dismissively and turned away; the blonde wouldn’t look, and the redhead stared off, a bitchy look on her face.

A minute later, I had all three girls laughing and smiling with me. And when after I chatted with my friend, who’d watched the whole thing, all he could ask me was, “What did you say to them?”

A Few Thoughts on MGTOW: Men Going Their Own Ways

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By: Chase Amante

MGTOW
What is the MGTOW movement all about? Do MGTOWs reject women, love, sex, and society? Or is the phenomenon about something else...?

On my article “Quit Letting Girls Off the Hook So Much”, Jimbo asks for my take on the MGTOW movement:

“That whole MGTOW movement. It seems to have gained steam lately. Their two main talking points are: – Women want to spend their prime years screwing around bad boys and then when they become less desirable they want to settle down with a good man to provide for them. So screw it, I’m not gonna be neither! – Marriage is a trap wherein in a woman grabs her man by the nuts because of all the divorce laws that favor her hugely nowadays and also because of her greedy nature. So screw it, no marriage from this guy!”

Yeah, the whole MGTOW thing is an interesting phenomenon.

I’ve clashed with MGTOWs on occasion when they get into the whole ‘rah rah join our cause’ routine... I’m not really the club-joining sort.

But the rah rah MGTOWs aren’t necessarily representative of the movement overall. So what I’d like to do today is take a look at the ‘men going their own way’ movement and share some thoughts on it from a somewhat broader perspective.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Pick Up the Alpha Female

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By: Chase Amante

alpha female
The alpha female is the dominant girl in her group, and to get her, you’ll have to be a little different than you will be to pick up her follower peers.

It’s been nearly three months since I wrote the first installment in this series, “Girls in Groups: How to Tell Who’s a Leader or a Follower.” I finally just sat down to write Part II: how to pick up the leader.

If you didn’t read the first part of this series, click back and give it a read. If you can’t tell the difference between leaders and followers, this article won’t do much good. We’ll talk about identifying some of the signs of leadership vs. followerdom here too, but that first article’s the real roadmap on this.

Once you’ve read that, let’s talk alpha females. First off, why would you want to pick up the leader of the group? Aren’t those usually the toughest, meanest chicks? And aren’t they often the fat or ugly ones?

Well, not necessarily on that last. And as to the rest, it’s all part of the fun.

Why Did She Pick YOU as a Boyfriend?

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By: Chase Amante

what she wants in a boyfriend
What do girls look for in a boyfriend? Lots: relationship goal fit, value fit, relationship promise, even the first kiss, all matter.

A reader writes in:

“Chase,

You are phenomenal. You and Corey Wayne... Do you know of him? Anyways, I want to look at things from a different perspective. I am dating literally a ten out of ten the most beautiful of all women. Let’s get down to brass tacks. What is it that makes a woman choose a man to be BOYFRIEND material? Especially when she is the best of the best. She must see him as an alpha male the one who sets the current of his own world. I am very curious. Because honestly... Yes she is the best but if she is going to be lame and want to move on(dump me, being I do not make her feel special.and slack on my part.. Or just in general) I am ready to move on and find the next sexiest woman. Let me know. I am interested. I want to know what separates us strong men from the rest. Btw, Thank you for your insights. I accredit you and your team to my success. Best!”

It’s a deep and interesting question. And one that’s well worth thinking about.

I’ve recently had the chance to watch a great girl who’s hard on the boyfriend hunt cycle through a number of different options. She’s advertising her desire for a boyfriend like crazy, all while stressing that it’s a quality boyfriend she wants (and lamenting that she may well be alone forever... which usually in my experience means she’ll have a new boyfriend within another week or two).

So I think this is a fun one to tackle. Why does a girl pick the guy she picks to eventually be her man?

Tactics Tuesdays: What to Look for in a New Venue

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By: Chase Amante

venue selection
You know how vital it is to pick a venue with the kinds of girls you want. But how do different venues influence a girl’s openness to various things?

Venue selection is crucial to making your days and nights out go better.

Pick the right venue, and you can leave with a girl’s phone number (or with her arm-in-arm)... Even if your fundamentals aren’t yet too tight and your game needs work.

Pick the wrong venue, and no matter how smooth and attractive a fellow you are, it’s like riding a bicycle through a salt marsh.

So how do you know what the right venue is?

Alek’s discussed this topic already in his article on venue selection:

... and I’ve discussed it somewhat in my ebook on it and my article on bars and clubs:

Today, I want to talk about a somewhat different aspect of venue selection: I want to discuss how to pick the right venue for your style of game and your preferred type of interaction.

How Dominant Men Approach Business, Pleasure, and Life

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By: Chase Amante

dominant men
A dominant man is one who wins. He’s one who holds sway over his dominion. And he does it with his aims, responsibility, interdependence, and victory.

In my article on having girls come join you, a commenter named Max asks the following:

“Hey,

This is a totally off topic question, but in all articles regarding, being powerful, dominant and sexy, I could only pick out physical attributes such as slower body movements etc. Can you just describe his attitude and how he look at life, and how can I become one too, through day to day activities. Thanks!”

This is a fun question for me. I rank dominance of his own life and sphere as a quality at the apogee of man’s cultivation. The man who holds true dominion over his endeavors is the closest man can ever get to absolute freedom. Combine this dominance with a clear moral character and you have a man who not only gets what he wants, but attracts, inspires, and leads, as well.

How you come to possess this attitude of striving toward dominion, and the kind of clarity and magnetism that surround it and intertwine with it, is what we’ll talk about today.

How to Get Girls to Come Join You (with Ease)

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By: Chase Amante

come with me
Want an easy way to get girls to come join you on an instant date or back home? This advanced invite works even if she’s on the fence.

One of my favorite invites is the “come join me” invite. It’s flexible, fun... and surprisingly nuanced.

I actually spent years experimenting with this invite, with it often falling flat. It took me the longest time to pinpoint what the problem I was having was, too.

I’d chat with a girl, it’d go great, and then it’d be time to change venues or invite her home. And I’d say:

Me: Hey, I’m going to go [do whatever]. Come join me.

And the girl I was talking to would nearly always respond with:

Her: Thank you, but I think I’m going to just [go do whatever].

Occasionally I’d get a “yes” or a “yeah, okay, sure.” But most of the time she’d beg off.

And then one day I figured it out.

Are All Women Slaves to Hypergamy?

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By: Chase Amante

hypergamy
Hypergamy is her tendency to date or marry ‘up’. She wants the best, richest, highest status guy she can get, they say. But science disagrees.

One of the memes of the manosphere is that the women of Western society are ardently in pursuit of the wealthiest, highest status man they can get. The qualities women are said to prize most of all include:

  • Wealth
  • Status
  • Looks
  • Fame
  • Other forms of power

Manosphere pundits call this phenomenon ‘hypergamy’.

‘Hypergamy’ originally described the practice of marriage into a higher social or economic class by women. The manosphere has expanded that definition to describe women’s desire for and tendency to pursue men who are their ‘betters’ in some way or another for hook ups and relationships, as well as marriage.

I’m not a fan of the manosphere alpha-beta redefinition, but I have no qualms with its expanded definition of hypergamy. Seems like a natural fit for the term, especially in our present sexual/romantic environment.

So, let’s discuss.

Is hypergamy bad for you?

How big are its effects?

And, how must you adapt?