What Is a Sexual Frame?

Hey guys, and welcome back!

So far, we’ve learned what a frame was in my post, “What is a frame?” We discussed how frames are internal and external points of view in the way we interpret something.

Setting a frame in a social interaction becomes the art of affecting the way someone perceives:

• A discussion

• A phenomenon

• Its interlocutors (you) and their role with the contribution to the frame

We have previously discussed social frames, namely the social aspect of seduction.

Women have an internal social frame. It’s the way she sees herself in the social world. These aspects play key roles:

• Social identity

• Social expectations

• Value system

In her selection of mates, she is more likely to allow herself to be stimulated mentally and sexually (and hence hook up) with a mate that suits her social frame. These include her social identity (socio-economic and cultural background), value systems, and all the expectations that stem from them.

When a man sets a social frame incoherent with hers, resistance occurs. Most likely, she will hold herself back from getting carried away by your escalation (we call this female state control, or FSC).

Setting a good social frame also wins you compliance points:

• It hooks her in

• It immerses her in a conversation with you

• It may result in her finding you more attractive – or at least rationalizing that you are a guy she should be attracted to, which will have a similar effect

If you manage to master the social frame dimension, there is another frame that’s equally important if you want to:

• Speed up the seduction process

• Increase your ratio

• Lower resistance

That frame is the sexual frame. We have discussed sexual frames in the past on multiple occasions. But we have never dedicated an entire post to the subject nor discussed why they are important and what benefits they will add to your interactions with women, including your seductions.

We will do this today.

 

What Is a Sexual Frame?

A sexual frame adds a sexual perspective to your interactions with women. It makes women see the interaction through a sexual lens. You add the element of sex to the interaction.

What can setting a sexual frame do?

• Amp the girl up. You make her think of sex, which will result from her seeing the interaction through a sexual lens

• Set the right premises of the interaction. It becomes clear what the interaction is about. It is about sex and hooking up. This is not to be confused with going direct (stating your sexual interest). You can do this by going direct, of course, and at some point, you will have to (when escalating physically, for instance). But it is usually recommended to keep things regarding your display of intent or sexual interest ambivalent as per the indirect game playbook. Why? To avoid triggering unnecessary resistance and keep her compliance level up. You will leave her wondering whether you truly desire to have sex with her or not. That will make her chase you if there is baseline compliance, which you can acquire through natural attraction or compliance generated through social or even sexual frames

• Frame yourself as a sexual guy. As you are the interlocutor she is interacting with, and more importantly, you are setting this frame, she will perceive you as a sexual guy. Note that sometimes it is the girl that sets the sexual frame. This is by no means a bad thing. Sure, you will lose some points regarding authority (authority frame = leadership and dominance from SETTING the frame), but that is correctable with good frame control. Even without such abilities, it is still a good sign, as a girl setting a sexual frame is a sign of interest and a signal that she may be looking for a sexual mate or happens to have liberated views about sex. All are good

So, as you can see, there are plenty of benefits related to sexual frames.

 

Social Frames and Sexual Frames

So what is the difference between a social and a sexual frame? One covers the social and the other the sexual aspect. These are the basic definitions of both frames, and they suffice if you want to keep things simple.

I know many of you like to reflect upon these subjects and want more clarification. I am like that too, so here are the details.

First, let’s be clear: there is no strict distinction between a social and a sexual frame. I’ve chosen to make these two categories for clarity. However, there is no clear line distinguishing them.

For example, anti-slut defense (ASD), a girl’s defense mechanism that makes her hold back sexual behavior to protect her from the slut label, is a sexual frame, but it is also a social frame.

In this instance, it is a sexual frame because it’s about sex: her attitudes and views about sex and sexuality.

At the same time, it is also a social frame because it relates to the social realm. For example, a woman may perceive “being sexually open” or “promiscuous” as socially bad, linked with negative social repercussions. In this regard, it also links to a social frame.

Call it a social sex frame if you want. However, I prefer to put this under the label of a sexual frame since I consider a social frame to cover every aspect but sex, and sexual frames to be those that cover the sexual element – either sex (a purely sexual frame) or a frame where sex is deeply involved.

This is mere pragmatism on my end. I choose to see it this way because it makes things simpler for me, which is valuable. Feel free to disagree on the semantics here; that’s fine. Please, if you do, write a forum post and tag me in it (@Teevster), as I would love to read your reasoning.

 

Sexual Frames – External?

When I discuss sexual frames in my posts on this site, I usually refer to external sexual frames – those that are communicated. This is what is most important and what I emphasize.

Social frames are present in all interactions. An interaction is always a social act, so there will always be a social frame. The social frame depends on you and her. Sexual frames, on the other hand, usually have to be set. They are not there by default.

There is no sexual frame when you chat with your buddies. Even if you talk about sex, the nature of your relationship makes it simple guy, locker-room talk about sex; hence a social frame. There is no sexual frame when you talk with that old lady in the store (unless you're into “matures.” Hey, whatever floats your boat!)

There is also not necessarily a sexual frame when you talk with a girl unless she is into you from the get-go and the vibe of your interaction organically contains a sexual undertone. But even in this case, the sexual frame is being set.

For the simple reason that, unlike social frames, sexual frames are not default to human interactions.

You may even talk to a girl you are into – and yes, a social frame will emerge. But if you don’t actively set a sexual frame (and she doesn’t), or if it doesn’t occur naturally, then no sexual frame will be set.

Do you know what happens then?

FRIENDZONE.

So, because sexual frames have to be actively set, my emphasis is always on the external frames, those communicated by the interaction participants (you or the girl, but preferably you, for reasons we have already discussed).

As we know from my last posts on frames, what you communicate affects:

• The frame of the interaction. How its participants will interpret it: an underlying “meaning” in the interaction will be generated

• The way she perceives you. She may see you as just a nice dude who can be her best friend (absence of sexual frames). Or she views you as a lover, whom she perceives as a sexual guy (sexual frame present). Why? A) if you set a sexual frame, she will associate this frame with you, and B) if the interaction with you has a sexual frame (an underlying sexual meaning), she will associate this frame with you (and you with her most likely). Isn’t this beautiful?

 

Sexual Frames – Internal?

But can sexual frames also be internal? Again, if you read my posts on frames, you’ll recall I discussed internal frames. These are frames you have in your mind about yourself. In this case, they include sex and your sex life.

You may remember me say that what is “inside” is expressed on the “outside.” This is what usually happens, but it’s not a necessity. A lack of coherence between what you express and what is inside your mind means incongruence problems, which some socially experienced girls may sense unless they are overly drunk. (Hint: don’t go for drunk girls!)

If what you express is congruent with your internal frames, then what you convey will come off stronger.

So yes, you can have an internal sexual frame. That would usually be your sex frame – how you see your sex life. These consist of:

• Sexual desires

• Views on sex (can be closely linked to a social frame – a social sex frame is still a sexual frame)

• Fantasies

• Experience

• Knowledge

What about her? Well, she can possess internal frames too.

However, I rarely pay too much attention to these because women tend to have confusing and contradictory internal sexual frames.

For instance, she may have a frame that states: “I am a good girl; I don’t hook up with anybody.”

And: “I find mysterious strangers sexually hot.”

Or: “I am a strong, sexually independent woman.”

And: “I love getting dominated in bed.”

So whatever sexual frame she expresses, I may only use it as a transition or an inspiration for the sexual subject I will talk about (if I am using sex talk). I will not take whatever she expresses at face value or use it to fine-tune my calibration in my interaction with her.

But this confusion is also a good thing. It means her frames are weak and malleable and allows you the opportunity to set YOUR sexual frame, giving you more control over the interaction. By doing that, you come off as an authority figure/leader. The latter is attractive, so bonus compliance points for you.

It is paramount that you have clear sexual frames. They also need to be strong:

• So you know what you want

• So you know what you are sexually

• So you show no sexual shame. (Please, this does not mean you can allow yourself to do whatever you like. Calibration is still a valid rule, and so is respect for people’s sexual limits)

However…

Some girls do have clear sexual frames. Those are usually very sexually confident, experienced girls.

And that’s cool since you are less likely to face sexual hang-ups and resistance. However, these girls will tend to be pickier and more selective.

It makes it EVEN MORE paramount that you have insanely strong sexual frames, both internally and externally (those conveyed).

I hope this clarifies things.

 

Conclusion

A sexual frame is a “sexual point of view” that covers the sexual aspects of seduction.

It helps you set a sexual undertone in your interaction with a girl and makes her perceive you as a sexual guy – a lover. This will speed up the process, help you avoid getting resistance and increase your meet-to-lay ratio.

In my next post, I will cover in detail how sexual frames help you do those things.

Sexual frames can be both external and internal. Strong internal sexual frames will help you convey strong external ones. However, this is not a given. You still need to know the right tools for conveying a sexual frame.

I will also touch on this next week.

So, stay tuned!

Best,

-Alek