A few weeks ago one of our forum members shared a text conversation he had where the girl told him she just wanted to be friends. He asked whether he’d made his intentions too obvious too soon or if this was just a girl looking for orbiters.
He said little about his initial interaction with her, except to say they had a 30-minute chat in a supermarket. During the chat, he said, the girl was flirtatious and excited, talking so loudly for that whole 30 minutes that everybody watched them.
My instinct – which he then confirmed – was that he just stood there with her for 30 minutes in the supermarket, chatting and flirting, then grabbed her number and departed.
That is to say, he did NOT:
Instant date the girl
Move her around inside the supermarket
Get her sitting down somewhere with him (even just outside)
Close the distance some and escalate on her physically
All he did was stand around and flirt.
Then after 30 minutes of this, he took her number.
Now, this member’s text game needs some serious work as well. So the initial interaction was not the only flaw. But it’s the most important one. Bad texting can be overcome with a great initial interaction. A bad initial interaction won’t be overcome even with the best texting in the world.
The mistake he made is one I see lots of guys make… and one I made too many times myself as a novice too:
Mistaking flirtation for escalation.