Pickup

Here's an easy way to make a girl more likely to comply with a request: add an easy-to-comply second request, which makes complying with the first AUTOMATIC.

The girl you've met at the bar you're at seems like she's just about being ready to be pulled.

"Well," you say to her, "if you've had enough socializing, let's go get that nightcap." You pause a split second. "You have to promise to be a good houseguest though," you add.

She smiles, and a light tinkle of laughter ripples out of her. "I promise," she says.

You offer her the crook of your arm, she wraps her arm through it, and out the doors of the bar you stride, into the night together.

You see what happened there?

You skipped right over asking her to decide if she's coming with you or not... one of the most nerve-wracking moments for most guys. Instead, you asked her something else -- something easier -- to which she said "yes."

And the moment she said yes to that second, easier request, her compliance with the earlier, bigger one became automatic.

How did that work?

Well, you used a secondary compliance request (that she be a good houseguest), to obtain automatic compliance with the primary request (that she come to your house).

Neat trick, right? Let's look at it a little more in-depth.

This seduction gambit uses the concepts of liminality and sexual tension bubbles. In fact, its objective is to create sexual tension by talking about sexual tension.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Today I will share a gambit that builds upon the concept of liminality, which I've covered in recent posts. Liminality is a concept taken from anthropology to describe the transitional phase in a society that is "betwixt and between." It's the time period in which “what is” has been broken down, and “what is to become” is yet unknown.

We also discussed how liminality could help us understand certain aspects of seduction, and seduction as a whole.

We saw how liminality could help us make sense of sexual tension, a powerful yet rather vague tool. Most good seducers are aware of the power of sexual tension. There is no doubt that it is one of the most powerful tools in a seducer's arsenal.

The issue of sexual tension is twofold:

• How do we explain what it is? It is such an odd experience that one may have difficulty describing it.

• How do we generate it? Most experienced seducers have witnessed the power of sexual tension, but few have a good method for generating it at will. We’ve tried to not only understand sexual tension but also to figure out how to generate and maintain it.

If you’d like to read my series on sexual tension, including how to generate and maintain it, you are welcome to do so. I also have a cool “sexual tension” report.

Today, I will share a verbal gambit that can help you generate sexual tension. Yes, we are talking about inducing sexual tension with a conversation.

Before I get into the gambit, note that some nonverbal elements play a significant role in whether this gambit will help you generate sexual tension and how much you will be able to generate.

These nonverbal elements include:

• Eye contact

• Gestures and body language (recommended: relaxed and slow)

• Tonality and pace of voice (recommended: a slower, darker voice with pauses; if you know how to use a hypnotic voice, use it here)

If you are a beginner or intermediate, or perhaps an advanced guy who does not have a strong verbal game, you may not achieve the full effect.

However, even if you do not manage to generate sexual tension, or do so weakly, I still would not consider it a failure. There are MANY other great benefits this gambit can provide! I will discuss those further after sharing the gambit itself.

This gambit is recommended after an initial hook, preferably in an isolated setting with lots of compliance. The vibe between both must be quite sexual. The purpose of this gambit is to escalate things further.

The anti-player is still a player. However, the way he meets women is by keeping things intimate – so she can trust him more, and he can move faster.

Do women sometimes hit you with player accusations?

Does it feel like girls you approach are skeptical of you? As if they keep their guards up, not wanting to be so vulnerable with you they get hurt?

This is how people are with those they don't trust. Players are people women don't trust. A woman might be attracted to a player, but she often won't trust him.

And if she doesn't trust you, she probably won't go to bed with you.

There are a few different ways to overcome this 'player problem' and sleep with lots of girls.

One of the more reliable ways is what we might call 'being the anti-player'... really just a series of tactics that let you show a woman you are not going to hurt her or ditch her.

Combine that with your usual attractive, flirtatious, escalating self, and what you have is a guy who very easily leads women step-by-effortless-step through her seduction.

How do you build a sexual tension bubble with a girl, where you can make your own rules and foster sexual freedom? By harnessing the seductive power of the liminoid.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Last week we discussed the concept of liminality and how it applies to pickup and seduction.

In broad terms, the concept of liminality describes the transitional phase within a society. It's when the status quo is deconstructed, and the new has not yet been institutionalized. This is the phase betwixt and between in the lifespan of society and culture. But this concept can also be applied to humans. We can see liminality as a rite of passage, for instance, during the time from childhood to adulthood.

But the theory doesn't stop there. We've discussed how liminality could apply to seduction, and more interestingly, how it could help us make better sense of certain seduction concepts, namely:

• Sexual tension
• Intrigue
• Mixed signals

We looked at how seduction is about leaving a girl in a liminal phase (state of limbo) when she is curious about you and your interest level or intentions. Since liminality is the phase betwixt and between, leaving her in a phase when something is happening — but not certain or well-defined — keeps the intrigue and mystery going.

We also saw how seduction ends when this phase ends, as you move away from the liminal phase. We also discussed how keeping her in a liminal phase can keep your relationship going in the long-term.

Another key aspect relates to how a liminal phase is liberating. Since it is betwixt and between, social rules are somewhat broken. Something may be real, while at the same time not “official,” or unknown to the social world.

According to the great anthropologist Victor Turner:

“They are dead to the social world, but alive to the asocial world. Many societies make a dichotomy, explicit or implicit, between sacred and profane, cosmos and chaos, order and disorder. In liminality, profane social relations may be discontinued, former rights and obligations are suspended, the social order may seem to have been turned upside down.” (Turner, V., Liminal to Liminoid, p. 59)

Today we will discuss the other part of his essay, the liminoid, and how that applies to pickup and seduction.

One of the first things to do in any date you go on or on any approach that might have a time constraint: ask the girl what else she has planned, and when.

Ever meet a girl on a bus or a train, and you start talking, and it seems to go great... and then all of a sudden she's telling you "That's my stop, I have to go!"... and the next thing you know, she's gone, and you hadn't even grabbed her contact details?

Ever take a girl on a date, and just when it starts to get good she tells you "Hey, I'm sorry, but I have to leave now, I have an appointment in 30 minutes and I have to get going."

That's always super awkward, isn't it?

What if you didn't have to run into these scenarios ever again?

What if you always made sure you had girls' contact info far in advance of them leaving, and you knew exactly when a date had to end, so you could be sure to end it on your terms?

Well, you can.

It's very simple.

All you need to do is, very quickly into any conversation or date where there's any possibility of a time constraint, make sure you know how much time she has.

Have you ever been in a sexual bubble with someone, seemingly separated from the outside world and free to make your own rules? Liminal space is the seducer’s Shangri-La.

Today I will share a bit of an abstract concept. It’s inspired me often in my analysis and overall understanding of pickup and seduction. Hopefully the reason why will become clear by the second half of this post, where I’ll show an applied example.

This concept is called “liminality” and comes from social theory, or more precisely from anthropology. It’s also used in psychology and sociology, as well as social philosophy.

Anthropologist Arnold van Gennep coined liminality, but anthropologist Victor Turner perfected it. Turner has written multiple texts on the subject, but I would consider his "Liminal to Liminoid, in Play, Flow, and Ritual: An Essay in Comparative Symbology" to be the flagship study.

I will not go into great detail about the theory for the sake of keeping this article concise and on point, but in my academic career, I‘ve been often inspired by Turner's concept of liminoid spaces (see my post on the secret society).

Have you tried out some advice from a pick up artist and it didn't work? Was it some pretty extreme bad advice, like "always do this super intense thing"?

I've interacted with lots and lots of students over the years.

You see all types, in terms of depths of study and levels of results:

• There are the guys who study seduction for a bit and use it to get some lays and find a girlfriend

• Then there are the guys who study seduction in-depth and go on to get respectably good with girls -- they rack up respectable notch counts, get some beautiful girls, and build a mini harem or settle down with a top notch long-term partner or wife

• There are the guys who poke around with it a bit, read some, watch some, experiment a little, but never really commit to learning it, and drift off, eventually meeting whatever women come into their lives in more conventional ways (e.g., dating a friend's ex... hooking up with a girl from work... meeting some chick off a dating app, etc.)

• Then you get guys who get into seduction for a while, do well with girls, but drift off to something else before they can really cement their results, presumably because woman success doesn't really do a lot for them and something else is more engaging to them

• And, finally, in the 'most likely to leave irate and disappointed' category, you get the guys who get into it, became obsessive about it, but focus on the wrong things, and proceed to struggle for a while (sometimes for years), until they eventually flame out, sometimes angrily so

Among the guys who've actually studied seduction, except for those guys who flame out, there are generally positive feelings. It's pretty hard to argue that things like "keep your posture tall and erect" and "lead your conversations where you want them to go" is bad or harmful advice. Even if a guy doesn't stick with it long enough to get many immediate results, he will generally appreciate whatever he did learn.

However, there is a class of student that's mystified me for a long time.

This class of student will show up later on, typically after he's become disillusioned with a branch (or all branches) of seduction for this or that reason, and either accuse you (the teacher), or other teachers in the space, of giving shoddy advice that doesn't work.

Then you will ask him what this advice is that is not working for him, and he will tell you things that no seduction teacher has ever told a student to do, and that violate what you yourself personally tell people to do.

And you will wonder how did this chap get it in his head that this horrible advice he has seemingly pulled out of thin air is in fact what seduction teachers want people to do?

When I figured out what caused this, it also led me to a thinking mistake many students of just about any field (including seduction) appear to be prone to make.

That problem is the problem of thinking in extremes.