Advanced practitioners have impressive social and seductive skills. Near the very top of the field
Another technique to break past "no"s when girls give them. And not just break past them… but make it seem like you're the one who gave the "no"!Otherwise known as 'no busters'.
What do you do when you ask a girl to do something and she gives a firm 'no'?
Well, you can just give up and move on completely. And sometimes that's the right call.
Just because you use boyfriend disqualifiers doesn't mean you're totally out of the running as a boyfriend. Many guys still act like boyfriends… yet don't even realize it.An issue I've noticed guys have over the years is they stumble upon Girls Chase, they read about not coming across as a boyfriend, and then they try to present themselves as 'not boyfriends' without actually changing their vibes.
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Typically what they do is they add certain things to their conversations that they've read will push them out of boyfriend contention.
But then they don't actually revise the rest of their conversation to take out boyfriend-y topics and remarks. And they don't change their presentation or delivery style any, so they still seem like boyfriend candidates -- except now they're candidates who also say some slightly un-boyfriend-y things.
So let's talk about things men do (without even realizing it) that make them come across as boyfriend candidates to the women they meet... even while these men think (in error) that they are "coming across like the ultimate lovers."
If you do fast pickups, where you're sleeping with women very soon after meeting them, you'll run into a certain issue. It won't be much of an issue until you want to hang onto a woman. Then you have one you decide you'd like to see again, and up it pops.
The issue is that no matter how great a guy you are, when you are shagging women very fast, by default a lot of women may not want to see you again.
A woman may feel guilty about having slept with you so fast: "I'm not like that, I don't know why I had sex with him so quick," and this can make her not want to see you again.
Or maybe she enjoyed it, but she completely writes you off as a random sexy rogue (fuckboy) and has no desire to see you further.
None of this is an issue when a one-night stand is all you're worried about.
But it becomes an issue when you lay a girl you'd like to keep, then can't get her back out again.
However, there is one unique little tactic I've devised over the years that dramatically boosts your ability to convert a fast-lay into a girl who'll come to see you again.
Before I tell you about it, you should understand a few things about how people make decisions, first (and actually, I am going to give you a bonus tactic too... so really it's two tactics here).
Flow state is the miraculous place where everything works and makes you feel like a boss. What does it take to access flow state and make it your long-term ally?
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III. Low Skill + High Challenge = Frustration
IV. Flow State Requires Effort
V. The Experience Fluctuation Model
If you’ve been cold approaching long enough, you’ll have heard the term “getting into state,” or perhaps “state control.” If you hang out with new pickup dudes, you’ve probably heard it in a phrase like, “I can’t approach tonight, bro. I’m not in state.”
That’s the beauty of seduction theory. Whenever some new idea comes out, weak men always find a way to use it as an excuse to not take action.
So, what is this mystical “state” we're talking about here?
State is the magical place where everything works. When you’re in “flow,” or “the zone,” you become a demi-god of skill, charisma, and focus. It’s a powerful place to be, not just with pickup but in any activity that requires skill.
The seminal book on state (and one of my all-time favorites) is Flow, The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. I’ll be quoting Mihaly as “MC” for this article, and any mentions of “flow” will refer to his book. The state of being in flow, I will call “state.”
This seduction gambit is designed to make your girl visualize a liminal space (or bubble) in her mind, causing her to feel sexually liberated and horny.
Hey guys, and welcome back.
Today I will share another gambit that uses the concept of liminoid space that we've discussed for the last few weeks.
A liminoid space is an area within the bigger whole (culture, society, etc.) where the rules are blurred, usually leading to liberation and freethinking.
Here are the relevant articles if you want more info or a recap:
The idea with this gambit is to make her visualize such a space, adding liberated aspects to it. From there, you’ll free her sexually.
To start this off, I’ll give you an idea for a transition. Also, remember these posts illustrate how I do these gambits (my recommended version). Feel free to modify them to fit your own style and personality.
The girl you've met at the bar you're at seems like she's just about being ready to be pulled.
"Well," you say to her, "if you've had enough socializing, let's go get that nightcap." You pause a split second. "You have to promise to be a good houseguest though," you add.
She smiles, and a light tinkle of laughter ripples out of her. "I promise," she says.
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You offer her the crook of your arm, she wraps her arm through it, and out the doors of the bar you stride, into the night together.
You see what happened there?
You skipped right over asking her to decide if she's coming with you or not... one of the most nerve-wracking moments for most guys. Instead, you asked her something else -- something easier -- to which she said "yes."
And the moment she said yes to that second, easier request, her compliance with the earlier, bigger one became automatic.
How did that work?
Well, you used a secondary compliance request (that she be a good houseguest), to obtain automatic compliance with the primary request (that she come to your house).
Neat trick, right? Let's look at it a little more in-depth.
This seduction gambit uses the concepts of liminality and sexual tension bubbles. In fact, its objective is to create sexual tension by talking about sexual tension.
Hey guys, and welcome back.
Today I will share a gambit that builds upon the concept of liminality, which I've covered in recent posts. Liminality is a concept taken from anthropology to describe the transitional phase in a society that is "betwixt and between." It's the time period in which “what is” has been broken down, and “what is to become” is yet unknown.
We also discussed how liminality could help us understand certain aspects of seduction, and seduction as a whole.
We saw how liminality could help us make sense of sexual tension, a powerful yet rather vague tool. Most good seducers are aware of the power of sexual tension. There is no doubt that it is one of the most powerful tools in a seducer's arsenal.
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The issue of sexual tension is twofold:
How do we explain what it is? It is such an odd experience that one may have difficulty describing it.
How do we generate it? Most experienced seducers have witnessed the power of sexual tension, but few have a good method for generating it at will. We’ve tried to not only understand sexual tension but also to figure out how to generate and maintain it.
If you’d like to read my series on sexual tension, including how to generate and maintain it, you are welcome to do so. I also have a cool “sexual tension” report.
Today, I will share a verbal gambit that can help you generate sexual tension. Yes, we are talking about inducing sexual tension with a conversation.
Before I get into the gambit, note that some nonverbal elements play a significant role in whether this gambit will help you generate sexual tension and how much you will be able to generate.
These nonverbal elements include:
Gestures and body language (recommended: relaxed and slow)
Tonality and pace of voice (recommended: a slower, darker voice with pauses; if you know how to use a hypnotic voice, use it here)
If you are a beginner or intermediate, or perhaps an advanced guy who does not have a strong verbal game, you may not achieve the full effect.
However, even if you do not manage to generate sexual tension, or do so weakly, I still would not consider it a failure. There are MANY other great benefits this gambit can provide! I will discuss those further after sharing the gambit itself.
This gambit is recommended after an initial hook, preferably in an isolated setting with lots of compliance. The vibe between both must be quite sexual. The purpose of this gambit is to escalate things further.
How do you build a sexual tension bubble with a girl, where you can make your own rules and foster sexual freedom? By harnessing the seductive power of the liminoid.
Hey guys. Welcome back.
Last week we discussed the concept of liminality and how it applies to pickup and seduction.
In broad terms, the concept of liminality describes the transitional phase within a society. It's when the status quo is deconstructed, and the new has not yet been institutionalized. This is the phase betwixt and between in the lifespan of society and culture. But this concept can also be applied to humans. We can see liminality as a rite of passage, for instance, during the time from childhood to adulthood.
But the theory doesn't stop there. We've discussed how liminality could apply to seduction, and more interestingly, how it could help us make better sense of certain seduction concepts, namely:
We looked at how seduction is about leaving a girl in a liminal phase (state of limbo) when she is curious about you and your interest level or intentions. Since liminality is the phase betwixt and between, leaving her in a phase when something is happening — but not certain or well-defined — keeps the intrigue and mystery going.
We also saw how seduction ends when this phase ends, as you move away from the liminal phase. We also discussed how keeping her in a liminal phase can keep your relationship going in the long-term.
Another key aspect relates to how a liminal phase is liberating. Since it is betwixt and between, social rules are somewhat broken. Something may be real, while at the same time not “official,” or unknown to the social world.
According to the great anthropologist Victor Turner:
“They are dead to the social world, but alive to the asocial world. Many societies make a dichotomy, explicit or implicit, between sacred and profane, cosmos and chaos, order and disorder. In liminality, profane social relations may be discontinued, former rights and obligations are suspended, the social order may seem to have been turned upside down.” (Turner, V., Liminal to Liminoid, p. 59)
Today we will discuss the other part of his essay, the liminoid, and how that applies to pickup and seduction.
Have you ever been in a sexual bubble with someone, seemingly separated from the outside world and free to make your own rules? Liminal space is the seducer’s Shangri-La.
Today I will share a bit of an abstract concept. It’s inspired me often in my analysis and overall understanding of pickup and seduction. Hopefully the reason why will become clear by the second half of this post, where I’ll show an applied example.
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This concept is called “liminality” and comes from social theory, or more precisely from anthropology. It’s also used in psychology and sociology, as well as social philosophy.
Anthropologist Arnold van Gennep coined liminality, but anthropologist Victor Turner perfected it. Turner has written multiple texts on the subject, but I would consider his "Liminal to Liminoid, in Play, Flow, and Ritual: An Essay in Comparative Symbology" to be the flagship study.
I will not go into great detail about the theory for the sake of keeping this article concise and on point, but in my academic career, I‘ve been often inspired by Turner's concept of liminoid spaces (see my post on the secret society).
This pickup gambit is designed to help you transition into sex talk. It gets her intrigued, sets a sexual frame, and conveys your understanding of female sexuality.
Hey guys, welcome back. Today I will share a very easy sex talk gambit. It is not a nuclear bomb of sexual frames. However, it is a fun and captivating transition.
Guys always ask me for transitions. It is the sex talk related subject most men struggle with. I sympathize because I’ll admit it is the most complicated part of sex talk. Once you get the ball rolling after setting the initial sexual frame (and she accepts it), escalating further and talking more about sex becomes a piece of cake.
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The struggle is to get that ball rolling.
There are multiple ways to do it, like using proxies or bridging subjects. The beauty of these techniques is that they are universal tools. Sometimes, situational events like what a girl says can be used to lead into sexual talk.
In my opinion, the easiest, most powerful way to transition to sex talk is to have a premade gambit that you can either use as-is or modify depending on the circumstances.
Here are some premade gambits for you:
Not only can you re-use what’s worked in the past, but they are also tailored to work as best as possible. And through repeated use, they can be enhanced and changed for maximum success. (You can trust my gambits; they work for me and others. Considering I am a risk-averse seducer, they are pretty much rejection free.)
This gambit (The Period Paradox) can provide other goodies to assist your interaction:
So, with that said, I will share a little gambit that is fun and easy to pull off any time in the interaction. This is for night game. The vibe is loaded, sexual, and delivering it is no-risk. You do not need to have the girl very hooked to pull it off (I think one may even use this fun gambit as an opener, although don’t take my word for it as I have not tried that yet).
In day game, one has to watch out a bit more, so I suggest delivering it only when she is truly hooked, or after you have managed to get her seated with you in the case of an instant date, or a first date.
Besides these consideration, I believe that lower intermediates can pull this off without issues. I also think beginners may give it a try.
