(2) Intermediate

One of the most common questions that I hear from guys is:

“How do I make her want me?”

But there’s always more to this question. They go on...

“You know, like want me so bad that she just can’t wait to get back to my place and rip my clothes off and will even make plays to move the interaction forward herself! I see this happen with other guys from time to time, so I know it’s possible... How do you do that?”

Although what you are doing is important, it’s usually the things that you either don’t do or just do incorrectly that end up being the miscreant that stalls things.

Later I’ll explain to you in detail how to not only turn a woman on, but more critically, how to do it smoothly so that you don’t make mistakes and disappoint her somewhere along the way.

But first, let me tell you why this is even more important than you think it is.

A reader named Will makes the following comment on our discussion boards about the “secret society”:

“I really don’t understand this concept of a secret society. One that all women and successful seducers belong to. Any society that over 50% of the world’s population belongs to is not a secret. And I’ve been with younger, slightly (or more than) crazy girls who in no way seemed to understand much about social interactions before, during or after sex – you can find that a little too often with internet dating, but I think it kind of disproves this secret society idea.”

I myself don’t use the “secret society” term for the same reason; it’s an older pickup term a lot of guys do like, but for many guys outside the pickup world, it can confuse... and makes the whole concept sound planned-out (when it’s actually more an emergent phenomenon).

Personally, “secret society” was one turn-of-the-phrase that always makes my brain have to pause a minute. For whatever reason, at least for me, the term makes the concept it describes pretty unintuitive.

Alek has already explained the “secret society” concept in-depth in a 2013 article here: “Social Order, Sexual Restriction, and the Secret Society.”

Today, I’d like to talk a bit more about what’s going on in women’s heads when they meet a guy who “gets it” versus a guy who does not... and how they figure out who’s who.

Would you like to know what was, and actually still is, my biggest struggle when it comes to seduction? And not just me - this single aspect often ends up putting even the most prolific seducers on dry-spells and is the reason why so many men's "career" in having a promiscuous lifestyle only lasts a few years.

Do I have your curiosity?

Alright, then I won't beat around the bush anymore - it is integrating seduction into your lifestyle and making it sustainable long-term.

You see,

Like many of you, I'm a man on a mission. I have great aspirations and goals for my life and, truth be told, racking up enough notches to give Jack Nicholson a run for his money is NOT one of them.

Don't get me wrong, I love our beautiful ladies as much as the next guy (maybe even more), and in this article I won't try to convince you that getting good with women is not a worthwhile goal - on the contrary, I will try to convince you that it's actually a necessary skill that will help you achieve other goals in your life more efficiently. But only if we're smart about it.

However, even that is not my main goal with this article.

Instead, I would like to share some ideas and strategies on how to incorporate meeting and sleeping with beautiful women into your life and make it sustainable. Or, if you're still struggling, how to get good with women without creating fires in other aspects of your life.

That said, as I will explain in a moment, it wouldn't be honest to say that I have it all figured out and that there's a clear-cut one-strategy-fits-all approach. The tricky part when talking about these subjects is that it takes years to really see if a particular approach worked and if it was even the optimal one to take in the first place.

Which simply means - be smart and try to critically think about what you are reading.

And now, the problem...

It’s an unfortunate fact, but true nonetheless: an overwhelming majority of sexual partners lack substantial knowledge as to what actually turns the other one on.

For one reason or another, most people nowadays are either:

1. too ashamed,
2. too deluded,
3. too identified with being a spectator,
4. too obsessed with their self-image, or
5. simply too inexperienced

... to be particularly good in bed (the last issue is by far the easiest to remedy).

Yet if you want to be able to take on the role of the “lover” in a girl’s life, amazing sex and the opportunity to be around a man with such an exciting, stimulating presence is what you’re implicitly (and sometimes explicitly) offering the girl you’re seducing.

So in this post, I’d like to share with you some basic ways the lover looks at sex, as well as a handful of techniques that you can immediately start to use to take your sex life to the next level.

However, before we get into the tactical goodies, let’s start out with some clarification as to what good sex is... and is not.

Learning how to present yourself to look attractive, sexy, and desirable to women is a two-step process: first, you learn what you should do, with some basic and advanced strategies that help you get the most out of what you were naturally born with; second – and just as importantly – you learn what NOT to do; the common mistakes that are holding you back along with so many other men.

So far on Girls Chase we have a lot of great stuff that help with the first part of this equation:

• How To Get Started Improving Your Looks

• The Grooming Guide: Skin care, Manscaping, Choosing And Styling Your Hairstyle and Facial Hair

• Getting Six Pack Abs

• The Primer On Men’s Style

• Several off-the-shelf looks to get you going

And more…

With this article, I’d like to talk about the second part: the mistakes that even the best of us sometime make when it comes to presenting ourselves and looking attractive; the ones that are holding us back on our quests to become truly sexy men.

But before we delve deeper, let’s make a quick stop and talk about…

This is the first article in a two-part series about the importance of Target Selection. This first article talks about Target Selection as it relates to sleeping with new women; the second, Target Selection when it comes to relationship potential, as well as which type of relationship a girl is a fit for with you (FB, FWB, MLTR, LTR, OLTR).

As you'll discover in the next article, not all women are built equal and some are simply poor candidates for certain roles in your life.

Today we will discuss why it's important to choose targets wisely when hunting for new sex partners. The reason for this is simple: it is a giant waste of time to pursue women who are not interested or available. It will never "work", and even if you end up sleeping with such a woman, it will come at great expense to you and will not work out the way you want it to.

First, let's define the terms "interested", "available", and "interested and available".