(2) Intermediate

Welcome back to our series on dance floor seduction. Prior editions:

• Part 1: Dance Floor Foundations
• Part 2: Warming Up on the Dance Floor
• Part 3: Targeting on the Dance Floor
• Part 4: Dance Floor Opening
  

Previously, we discussed some theoretical elements of dance floor seduction. We also discussed how to get in mood, while focusing a lot on opening and selecting the right target.

Today we will start discussing the “attraction building phase”.

The other day I was sitting in the car with my mom, discussing a recent traumatic experience and its effects on my psyche. At some point in the conversation, I lost my calm and hit the car door in my rage. I immediately recognized my mistake and soothed my mind with some quick meditation. After swallowing my chill pill, we discussed my life-long struggle with aversion.

She conjured many anecdotes of my angst, whether it was yelling at kids over Xbox Live or getting 2nd place in a Tae Kwon Do tournament. Of all destructive emotions, anger is my closest and most poisonous friend.

To rid myself of this friend, we then brainstormed the cause of my anger and my mother proposed a theory, saying to me, “Hector, anger is a sign that you’re afraid. Animals only lash out in anger when they’re afraid of something....”

As my mind reeled, she followed with a question, “Hector, what are you afraid of?”

As I was slicing the lime I could hear them going “Mmm…” in a satisfied, flirty manner and then get giddy between themselves. Were they checking my butt while I was preparing the drinks?

Probably.

But who can blame those pretty ladies – skinny jeans were working their magic and I’m fine with being objectified, at least in this manner.

But this article is not about skinny jeans.

You see, over the years I’ve experimented with and picked up quite a few hobbies that in one way or the other helped improve my romantic life. Learning about men’s style helped me transform my appearance, learning to dance (particularly afro-latin dances) helped with leading, touching, and making her wet on the dance floor...

And developing bartending skills not only made the line “come over to my place, you really need to try my legendary mojitos” that much more effective, but also somehow ended up improving my social life (don’t worry, I’ll explain later).

Tell me, what you’re thinking about

When you got me waiting patiently

Usually, I don’t have to wait for nobody

But there’s something about you

That really got me feeling weak

— Tell Me, by P. Diddy. Vocals here sung by Christina Aguilera.

If you truly want to understand the psychology of women, you must be aware of, and willing to accept, a paradoxical truth: women feel greater sexual attraction towards men who are less inclined to provide for them emotionally and financially.

Euphemistically you can say: in their heads women know that nice guys make much better husbands, but deep within their secret hearts, women love to love bad boys.

This paradoxical phenomenon is literally a schizophrenic duality between a woman’s need for survival on the one hand, and her need to express her own sexuality on the other. This creates a psychological condition where a woman’s sexuality is necessarily ambivalent and conflicted.

Simply put, the Female Basic Conflict is the need to manipulate a man into the role of her Provider, followed by an automatic contempt and/or lowering of her sexual attraction towards a man who lets her do so.

A girl once said the following about me to a mutual friend:

“You know, the best things about Darius are his deep cuts and his charisma.”

I must say, I was a little surprised. Not about the deep cuts part – since college I was known to wear buttoned shirts with an extra open button and I’ve always preferred V-necks over crew necks on tees.

Quick off topic tip: It works and it’s hot. If you’re of shorter stature be careful though, as it might mess up your upper body proportions and visually make you look shorter.

The part that I was surprised about was that she called me charismatic. You see, I’ve never been the talkative, outgoing, life of a party kind of guy, and back when it was said it was even more obvious than it is now.

Nonetheless, in her eyes I was charismatic.

What’s interesting is that after that conversation I did indeed start working, at first indirectly, on further developing this quality – though “quality” might not be the best word to describe charisma. As you’ll see in this article, it would be more appropriate to call it a skill than a quality of your character.

As I got better at managing charisma, interesting things started to happen:

• I would relatively easily find new groups and friends during my nights out (it’s not uncommon by the end of the night to realize that the group I’m currently having fun with, who are inviting me to after parties and the like, consist only of people I don’t really know)

• Guys often will buy me shots and ask to drink with them (happens less frequently with women, but that’s expected)

• And people in general seem eager to open up and share their stories.

For example, last time I was out, after ordering my drink, an unknown guy walked up and asked me to join his company of four ladies on the dance floor.

I’m sure I don’t need to explain that, not only does this makes nights out more pleasurable in general and puts you in a very positive state of mind, it also makes the subsequent steps of seduction easier (but don’t be fooled, you still need to make things happen).

With this introduction I first would like to refer you to another article, written by Ricardus, The 3 Things to Know If You Want to Be Charismatic, in which he brilliantly covers the core parts of what makes a man charismatic and how to be one.

I would like to urge you to read that piece first and then come back here, as in my article I would like to focus more on the specifics and strategies you can employ to develop your charisma and do this, even if you’re not a particularly outgoing guy.

Note from Chase: this is a guest post from Ben Harrison of Eat, Sleep, Grow, Repeat. Ben's article is on how to optimize your testosterone levels and shoot your results with women through the roof. Here's Ben...

Your outer-game is incredible? Your fashion sense is dialed in and your openers are eloquent creations of mastery? Everywhere you walk you leave a wake of construction; the construction of a social lifestyle that attracts a consistent stream of attractive women into your life.

How about your inner-reality, or what you may be familiar with as inner-game? You're internal reality is perhaps a veritable landscape of quality and vision seen only here before via the works of Lorenzo Gian Bernini, or perhaps you see it as more of a fantastical baroque mosaic creation à la Genoese Giovanni Battista Gaulli. You consider your inner game to be on point.

On the other hand, perhaps you are newly immersing yourself into a social lifestyle. The technicalities and models of inner and outer game are perchance yet ambiguous terrain for you.

Whichever camp you reside in, there is something even more innate and internal which will optimize every aspect of your game; a mechanism within our very cells which may greatly enhance confidence, banish approach anxiety, and also fear of ambiguous escalation windows; a chemical balance of body and mind that provides the burning desire to persist and succeed in ones outcomes when dealing with the gauntlet of challenges that social interactions provide. Above all else, it should be recognized that it is possible to greatly proliferate your motivation to take action and your intrinsic desire to succeed in all areas of life.

Hi everyone, and welcome back. I hope you are enjoying this guide so far. There is a lot more to come.

It is now time that we start discussing the actual interactions you will have with women.

So far we have covered numerous topics involving the pre-approach phase. These topics included:

• Myths about dance floor seduction

• The right mental states for dance floor seduction

• Target selection: spotting receptive and interested girls

Keep in mind that these 3 topics will work as a solid foundation for what is to come.

For example, having social momentum will make your approach smoother (increasing your chances of hooking a girl and minimizing your chances of being rejected). With social momentum you will also approach more girls (because you just “feel like” socializing with people), which will create more opportunities. Both these things will affect your opening positively.

Also, being in a sexual state will help you out a lot – maybe not during the opening phase, but it will help the next phase to come (escalation) tremendously, as your presence will be sexual and it’ll be easier to set a sexual frame. Setting a sexual frame is useful because it eases up the process from meeting-to-bedding a lot.

Last time we discussed target selection – how we could cherry pick receptive women out of the crowd by looking at their availability and spotting girls giving you signs of interest. By training your eye, you will easily know which girl will be up for a roll in the hay tonight and which won’t. Opening will then become really easy.

So if you have at least some of the things we have discussed in the preceding weeks in check, then pulling off what I am going to talk about in this post will be a piece of cake. This is especially the case if you have managed to receive an approach invitation from a girl. But what if you fail to get any approach invitations? Or what if you do get some but you fail to see them? Then you can always do a receptivity test by forcing an approach invitation out of a girl. I will now tell you how to do that and how it works.