(2) Intermediate

I've talked a lot on Girls Chase about having foundations, thinking things through, and addressing your ego, and now that I have done that it is time to talk about the real issues men face when trying to learn how to meet girls clubbing.

In my experience, most guys that are going out to clubs trying to figure girls out are en masse coming at the whole issue from the wrong angle. I can't pinpoint or classify the error of the approach precisely, but it always ends the same way - guys taking everything very seriously and getting very stern and upset about the wrong things.

I get why guys going out at night end up frustrated and saddened by the experience, and I would completely feel the same way if I was back in that grind again myself.

However, the big problem here is that guys are aiming for "big wins", and not being patient and accepting enough about "a good process" and improvements coming from within.

You’re at a night school class you share with a pretty girl you’ve had your eye on. The semester’s only halfway through, yet you have a feeling this girl likes you, and you like her too. You’ve chatted a few times, and sometimes you sit near her or next to her, but not always.

One evening, your class lets out and she takes a long time to gather her belongings. Coincidentally (or not), two of you head out at the same time. You strike up a conversation with her on the way out, and she’s responsive, but the conversation quickly stalls out. She seems happy but nervous. You feel like she’s waiting for something. Then you think how awkward it would be if you asked her out and she said no, and now you’ve got to keep coming back to this class and it’d really suck if there was an awkward vibe between you and this girl you like.

So, you tell her well, anyway, you guess you’d better get going, and you peel off and head to your car. On the way home, you kick yourself for not asking her out.

There are some men out there this kind of thing never happens to – if they get a shot with a girl, they take it. They can’t even understand why this would even be a problem for guys.

For most guys though, this is something they’ve had happen once or twice (or thrice... or four times... or more times).

The difference between the man this doesn’t happen to, and the man it does, quite often, comes down to a difference in their general and specific social aptitudes.

Some of the most beneficial things you can do for yourself are the most simple and basic:

• Drink lots of water

• Get plenty of sleep

• Be physically active

• Spend time with friends and family

Yet of these activities, one stands out above the rest as particularly valuable for picking up women: going for walks.

When looking back at all my experience with girls, there are a couple of events that still haunt me. Not because I got rejected, not because I bombed out, but because I was so close and failed.

The failure wasn’t due to there being poor logistics, nor was it a rogue friend that pulled her away. These failures were the result of me not standing up at the right moment and being a dominant man. I either pushed off the responsibility on one of my wingmen or the girl. Well, in life and in game, no one is going to do the work for you. This is why I have adopted the mantra “If they won’t, I will.”

This post is going to be set up a little different from my other posts. I am going to bring up two instances where I failed to stand up and take responsibility. I hope the lessons from my nightmares can help your dreams come true.

In the last segment of the Practical Female Psychology series, we discussed how and why females developed the language of Subcommunication and how it gets used by women today.

We learned how women are often Ambivalent; that is, a woman will communicate in such a way so as to cause confusion in the male mind, make sure she keeps her options open, and attract resources and romantic affection from as many avenues as possible without crossing the line into social ostracism, where she risks getting labeled a “slut”.

We also learned how the men who best succeed with women understand this secret female language, and in turn have learned the art of Discretion, which is basically a conspiracy to allow females to operate in that certain way without any hindrance.

Today we’ll discuss Subcommunication as it relates to the dangers and opportunities surrounding dating in the workplace; why no matter how much you learn about females, you still want to talk like a man does; and some more practical tips for mastering the fine art of interacting with females.

Among men studying the social arts, women’s ultimate goal is often misinterpreted as the pursuit of sex.

In this article I will describe their real goal and how it is often distorted by those in some form of a scarcity mindset. We will also go much deeper than this, as we will be looking at your real goal as well as women’s.

To begin this subject, I can’t really delay introducing you to the ultimate goal, so, in the spirit of openness, here it is. But before you make your judgement upon it, read the rest of the article and see how your view of it changes.

The ultimate goal (of women AND men) is to free oneself from becoming frozen in fear of judgement… and to do this without hurting or taking advantage of others for one’s own comfort and ease.

I came home in a blind rage. I had seen my ex-girlfriend out with one of my friends and was ready to end both of them. I walked into my house with my fists clenched and sweat dripping from my forehead. My dad noticed and immediately pulled me aside asking me what was wrong. I lied and said nothing was wrong. But after a few more pointed questions from my father, I finally caved and said why I was so upset.

“Son, you have a jealousy problem.”

“No I don’t Dad!”

There was no reasoning with me; the emotion had consumed the rational part of my brain. I wasn’t Will, I was Jealous Will. That night my dad imparted a great deal of wisdom to me. It took me years to fully understand it and another couple years to embody it. That’s not to say I never get jealous anymore. But my episodes are now nothing more than a passing inconvenience.

With the help of my dad and my life experience, I have figured out ways to discharge jealousy quickly. I have also adopted a philosophy that makes it very difficult to feel jealous in the first place.

Before I venture further, I want to establish what this post isn’t. This post is not a guide to “keeping your girl in check” or “when your jealousy is a clue that she’s cheating”, this is just about your internal state and how to have a life of less jealousy.