(2) Intermediate

It’s an unfortunate fact, but true nonetheless: an overwhelming majority of sexual partners lack substantial knowledge as to what actually turns the other one on.

For one reason or another, most people nowadays are either:

1. too ashamed,
2. too deluded,
3. too identified with being a spectator,
4. too obsessed with their self-image, or
5. simply too inexperienced

... to be particularly good in bed (the last issue is by far the easiest to remedy).

Yet if you want to be able to take on the role of the “lover” in a girl’s life, amazing sex and the opportunity to be around a man with such an exciting, stimulating presence is what you’re implicitly (and sometimes explicitly) offering the girl you’re seducing.

So in this post, I’d like to share with you some basic ways the lover looks at sex, as well as a handful of techniques that you can immediately start to use to take your sex life to the next level.

However, before we get into the tactical goodies, let’s start out with some clarification as to what good sex is... and is not.

Learning how to present yourself to look attractive, sexy, and desirable to women is a two-step process: first, you learn what you should do, with some basic and advanced strategies that help you get the most out of what you were naturally born with; second – and just as importantly – you learn what NOT to do; the common mistakes that are holding you back along with so many other men.

So far on Girls Chase we have a lot of great stuff that help with the first part of this equation:

• How To Get Started Improving Your Looks

• The Grooming Guide: Skin care, Manscaping, Choosing And Styling Your Hairstyle and Facial Hair

• Getting Six Pack Abs

• The Primer On Men’s Style

• Several off-the-shelf looks to get you going

And more…

With this article, I’d like to talk about the second part: the mistakes that even the best of us sometime make when it comes to presenting ourselves and looking attractive; the ones that are holding us back on our quests to become truly sexy men.

But before we delve deeper, let’s make a quick stop and talk about…

This is the first article in a two-part series about the importance of Target Selection. This first article talks about Target Selection as it relates to sleeping with new women; the second, Target Selection when it comes to relationship potential, as well as which type of relationship a girl is a fit for with you (FB, FWB, MLTR, LTR, OLTR).

As you'll discover in the next article, not all women are built equal and some are simply poor candidates for certain roles in your life.

Today we will discuss why it's important to choose targets wisely when hunting for new sex partners. The reason for this is simple: it is a giant waste of time to pursue women who are not interested or available. It will never "work", and even if you end up sleeping with such a woman, it will come at great expense to you and will not work out the way you want it to.

First, let's define the terms "interested", "available", and "interested and available".

I have never written an article like this before, so bear with me. It is going to be half Field Report from Tinder and half explanation. I will be quoting the conversation I had with “Sarah” in full, as well as detailing parts of her Tinder profile because the contrast you will soon see is what I truly wish to highlight today.

This article is aimed at the guys who are still learning the true nature of female humans, which is as simple as the true nature of all other female primates. This may be a bit of a red pill article for you – and I truly hope and intend that this is the case. I chose in the end not to sleep with the girl, for reasons you will see later, but that takes nothing away from the value of what follows.

I will post bits of the conversation in regular font, with my comments below in bold where necessary.

But first, the relevant parts of her Tinder profile:

“I am absolutely a hopeless romantic. I’m trying to find my future husband on tinder... I am a mother of an angel... I’m looking for my man, my lad, my soulmate, my best friend; nothing less than that, however, Jesus is my main man.”

She is, obviously, portraying herself as a good Christian girl who just wants to settle down with a good man. While it may be tempting to believe the things a woman says, usually it is a smokescreen meant to separate Providers from Lovers. That is a topic worth studying in itself; one that has been written about on this website before and is also a featured chapter in my book.

Last week I wrote about how to get good at night game quickly. This week I am writing my guide for efficient day game.

Day game is a lot easier than night game. This is due to the fact that interactions aren’t nearly as long and there aren’t nearly as many distractions.

The problem a lot of guys face with day game is, first and foremost, approach anxiety and poor strategy. Approach anxiety never fully goes away, but the one thing that helps me with it is the phrase “Think Do” – anything I think I should do, I do. This gets me out of my head and approaching quickly, but despite that, approach anxiety will still be a demon you face for as long as you’re in the game.

This article is mainly concerned with approaching day game with an efficient strategy. This is so you can get the girls you want in a realistic time frame.

I couldn’t wait to get my driver’s license when I was 16, and before my 17th birthday I got my dream job as pizza delivery boy. On my second night of work in Mississauga, Ontario (a suburb of Toronto), I got fired.

I went to an address with a pizza. As I approached the door, I could hear the pounding bass and the hoots and hollers of the people inside. I knocked on the door, and when it opened, a bunch of happy young people burst out practically on top of me, followed closely by thick wafts of tobacco and weed.

A cute girl about 3 years my senior (19 – LOL) tried to pass me a beer over the shoulder of the dude who was facing me and counting the money for the extra large… It was cold outside, so I suggested they let me step inside while they figured out the money and I could drink the beer (Canada and the USA have some of the most draconian public drinking laws imaginable and, ironically but not surprisingly, a huge problem with public drinking).

Someone passed me a joint. I found myself on a couch with a beer in one hand, a slice of pizza in the other, and the cute 19 year old on my knee giving me a “supertoke”. One thing led to another, and I was shocked and appalled to see how angry my boss was the next night when I went back to the pizza parlour asking if I could work again. I was fired on the spot. Logically I understood why, but I still resented it; why couldn’t I have fun AND have a job I love? Does life always have to be a tradeoff between doing what’s best for you and doing what you love to do?

As I get older, I’ve started to become more aware of the value of self-control.

Self-control is simply the ability to resist urges when it’s profitable for you to do so. It is the strength to put all things into priority and context. It would have taken only slightly more player skill to look at the host and the 19 year old girl and everyone else in that party in the eyes and tell them that I WOULD be back in 2 hours as soon as my shift was done, and if they would save me some booze and weed I would bring more pizza. How hard is that? I was already in with them. It was difficult because I had no self-control, no sense of timing, and no healthy view of context.

According to Napoleon Hill, author of the Think and Grow Rich, men learn self-control in one of two ways:

1. Their sex drive diminishes, usually with age but sometimes prematurely due to bad health or injury

2. They learn to sublimate their sex drive to higher thinking and purpose

Hill wasn’t talking about abstinence, he was talking about the correct sequence of profitable action. In a nutshell, if you’re feeling “frisky”, Hill wants you to do productive work FIRST, before turning to the opposite sex. Consistently doing so, Hill says, means your results in all areas of life will skyrocket.

Underlying my desire to risk my job to be close to a woman was an extremely high sex drive. Well into my 40s now, I find it challenging to go a full 24 hours without an orgasm and ejaculation at least once a day. It was 3, 4, even 5 times a day, for DECADES.

Don’t get me wrong – I was as unsuccessful with women as they come back when I was 16, but I was also very much a “natural”, something I did not fully appreciate about myself until well into my 30s.