How to Have Sex with Coworkers and Get Laid at Work | Girls Chase

How to Have Sex with Coworkers and Get Laid at Work

get laid at workIn the article on finding the woman you most want, a reader named Alex asks a question about having sex with the women you work with:

The question is about getting together with girls you work with, I am young guy, working jobs at the mall to save up for school. I feel attraction from a lot of the girls I work with, but want an idea of how to transition it into getting one on ones with them. I want it to go smoothly, because I work with them and would see them frequently. So I don't want strain working relationships, but since I'm there a good amount time, translating this environment into my dating life would be awesome.

Now here's a question just about every guy has - whether he's working at the mall like Alex, or in a cubicle-filled office building, or working in a school with hot young teachers, or running his own business out of a co-working space where he passes sexy secretaries every day in the hallway or anywhere else a man trades 8 or 9 hours a day for a paycheck and ends up face to face with intriguing women and intractable social dilemmas.

Chase already did a piece on flirting at work; so if you want a more enjoyable workplace environment or to enlist your female colleagues in some engaging, sexy banter, definitely check that one out. Flirting at work is also going to be a key to our strategy for getting to more than just flirting, which I'll go into a little later on.

However, we also promised a follow-up piece on having sex with your colleagues... and getting laid at work.

This is that piece, and I'm going to tell you just how to turn your workmates into bedmates.

sex with coworkers

I've seen the question of "Should you have sex with a coworker?" a lot around the Internet, and there are two general answers that seem to come up over and over again:

  1. Go ahead, many people meet their significant others on the job, or

  2. No, it's dangerous, don't do it; you could get fired for sexual harassment. Don't shit where you eat.

While those are the two extremes - both of which can be good answers - there are many shades of gray when it comes to workplace liaisons. In this article, I intend to explore what workplace dating looks like, and how to do it so that you can meet and hook up with girls there - with minimal risk to your job.

First though, let's examine the extremes.

Do It: Many People Meet at Work

This is true. In fact, an estimated 15-20% of married couples met at work, and an even greater number of extramarital affairs (somewhere around 50%) occur with coworkers too. If you've ever worked for a company where male and female employees interacted constantly, you also know that many people are hooking up within the company.

In my experience, and from what I've heard, this is true for pretty much every company that exists. Baristas, bartenders, lawyers and retail people are generally hooking up with at least one or two coworkers throughout their time with the company.

So it's definitely happening, and very few people get in trouble for it - since everyone knows it's happening.

Which leads me to…

Don't Shit Where You Eat

Just like with "many people meet at work", there's a lot of rational in this piece advice, too.

If a relationship at the workplace goes sour, you can find yourself out of a job and humiliated in rather short order. Things can get very sticky in a small work environment, where everybody knows everybody. As in every other sphere of existence, if you put two girls in a room together, they're going to talk about who is dating whom.

The gossip mill is in full effect in small companies, and a couple missteps or poorly-played cards can ruin your reputation faster than you can say "I swear I wasn't flirting with her!"

Thus ultimately, it comes down to choice. There are good reasons to hook up at work (easy access to lots of females), and good reasons not to (picking up women outside of work usually means zero career risk).

So you have to decide if it's a game you want to play. I'm not going to tell you which decision to make; I am going to tell you how to do it smoothly in the case that you do decide to try your hand at luck and love in the workplace.

sex with coworkers

To begin with, it can be helpful to think of your company (or division) as a big social circle - because it is. People mingle and interact all day, sharing stories and being attracted to other members of the group. As such, it can be quite similar to "social circle game" in such respects.

That being said, there are a few general rules that I find quite helpful when learning how to hook up at work.

Flirt with All the Girls, But Don't Hit On Any of Them

Flirt with all of them:

While this runs the risk of possibly accidentally indicating interest in a woman you are not interested in, doing this correctly should maintain enough plausible deniability that you can always honestly say you did not mean to show interest in any particular girl, should she get the wrong idea.

get laid at work

The purpose of this, beyond being really fun, is that your reputation at work is what will make or break you. If you are the always-serious-no-fun-guy, no girls are going to care about you. If you are the always-joking-clown-guy, nobody is going to take you seriously as a person. It is important to find a good balance between serious and playful (in all of life, not just work!)

When you strike this balance well, and flirt in small spurts with all the women there, you will earn yourself a reputation as a serious guy who understands how to talk to women and have fun with them. This, by itself, will earn you serious interest from many of the girls at work. You will notice them beginning to show interest in you, and at this point, several other factors become important as well.

The most important point is to refrain from hitting on the girls who show interest in you. I know, this can be difficult when you're getting signs of interest left and right from multiple girls. You're going to get the urge to ask for numbers, ask on dates, and escalate towards isolation.

Fight that urge. Fight it with everything you've got.

If you give in to those temptations, consider the consequences. What if you get turned down? Well guess what, now the entire company is going to know that you tried to make it happen with someone and got turned down!

It's an irreconcilable blow to your reputation, because you can bet she's going to tell all her female coworkers what happened. All those flirty little signs of interest you were getting will disappear, and that's why.

Keep in mind too that sexual harassment lawsuits have become somewhat of a sport in recent years, and simply being accused of something - regardless of whether you did it - can destroy your reputation and cause the loss of your job very quickly. For this reason and the ones I listed above, do not ever make overt moves on women you work with until the two of you are alone.

Also, by making your interest in any one girl known overtly, it will be clear as day that you are "choosing" one to go for. Which leads me to…

Don't Choose One Colleague; Let Several Choose You

If you choose one coworker to have sex with, and hit on her, and things happen - now you're in an official office relationship. Everyone knows the two of you are "an item," which instantly blows your secret society cred for the rest of your time there (or at least while the same people are working there).

Sure, other girls will find you attractive because you're a challenge now, but you will not be able to act on any of that interest without sacrificing the relationship you have now.

My readers here already know I am not a huge fan of monogamy to begin with, but jumping into a fast monogamous relationship with a girl at work will peg you even more as a guy who gives away commitment too easily and does not really understand how this all works.

So instead of that, let several of them chase you.

If you pay close enough attention, and refrain from hitting on them, you will find several girls "hinting" that they want to spend more time with you, or inviting you out places (like office parties and whatnot, which can be a good place to make things happen).

Take careful note of the girls who seem to be going a little extra "distance" to communicate with you - those are your options for playing this safely.

The ones who give you an excuse to have their phone number, or want to add you on Facebook, are showing subtle interest. Facebook can be a toss up, since most people these days live on the Internet, but take note of those girls anyway as potentials.

By this point, many of the girls will be talking to each other about you. Especially if you're new at the company, you will be a hot topic on the gossip mill. The more each one talks about you - pretty much regardless of what they're saying - the more the others will become interested. That's preselection in action, and it's just how social circles work.

So now that you've fought the urge to try to "pick up" any of the girls at work, and let them chase you a little without necessarily choosing any one of them, you can move on to…

Hooking Up With a Coworker

get laid at work Now, at some point, you do need to let one of these girls showing interest in you actually sleep with you. If you're aware enough of the social scene at work, choose one who is highly social and whose opinions the other girls respect.

Then blow her mind in bed. Be all about pleasing her and making it a truly incredible sexual experience that she will never forget. Keep in mind during this first pivotal hookup: you are doing this not just for the sex, but also for the story she'll tell. In a way, this first experience is going to make or break your reputation throughout your stay at the company.

If you've played your cards right and chosen wisely, she will be telling the story to all the other girls at the company. Do this right, and your pool of options will always exist at that job - even if things don't work out with one or more of them.

Once the "he's a great lover" story is being passed around, girls will be waiting for the chance to possibly get with you.

If at this point you choose to get into a relationship, that's your choice. I think there is better option, but I'm not going to tell you what to do. That being said, I believe a far better option is to stay non-exclusive throughout your stay there, allowing as many women as want you to flirt with you. This only makes sense if your goal is to hook up with a lot of girls, like I mentioned; if your goal is a relationship, then ignore the latter part of this paragraph and what's coming up next.

The best way to do this, without getting overly attached to any one girl, is to only have sex with her once a week or so at most. If you and her start hanging out every day outside of work, then you're quickly going to find yourself in a relationship. She's going to try to hang out with you a lot, if she likes you. It is up to you to either be or act busy so that no particular woman takes up all your time.

This allows you to remain aloof and in control of the frame of the relationship.

Lastly, while it is certainly possible to be hooking up with more than one girl at a time in your company, that can get complicated quickly. Instead, what I recommend is a series of short flings, spinning plates and replacing one girl at a time when another drops off your radar.

In this way, you can maximize your sexual potential in the workplace without finding yourself "owned" by that girl you fell for a little too quickly.

Play smart.


Drexel ScottAbout the Author: Drexel Scott

Drexel struggled with awkwardness and nerdiness early in life. Today, after tremendous personal development, he enjoys a life filled with social and romantic success. His journey from awkward young guy to socially skilled man stands testament to the fact that social skills can be learned, applied, and mastered no matter where you start out at.


The Latest from