(2) Intermediate

In the comment section of my article “10 Surprising Reasons Women Will Have Sex with You”, a reader remarked on a study on luck that discovered exceptionally “lucky” people basically are much better at noticing and seizing on opportunities, while “unlucky” people are more single-minded and stubborn, and miss opportunities.

Our reader commented that:

“I totally coroborate it with my incident today. There is this cute girl in my neighbouring room in student dorm I had been planning to talk to for days. I thought over it for days and planned a silly excuse to go talk to her only to realise that she had been sick. Instead of adapting quickly and offering her to drop by place for some warm tea i completely flipped and just went through what i had planned in my mind before, Just like the article i missed the opportunity for a spontaneous casual conversational connection based on my planned mindset. think this is what most people nervous with girls and new to it suffer, presence of mind and adaptablity. Not always but specific to situation they are not comfortable with. Your views on this !”

And... yes. This hits the nail on the head all kinds of ways.

You know, one of the most common attributes nearly all inexperienced guys have in common is they’re stubborn. You tell them to do something, and they won’t do it because they’ve already put themselves on a certain path and they don’t want to get off it. Or they want to finish this thing they’re working on.

And that’s a good habit to have (focus; follow-through). And I’m that way to a large extent myself, or was originally (now I’m more diversified: focused in where focused in is useful, big picture where that’s more useful), so I do relate.

But if you want to do better with girls, and if you want to sleep with more girls, a big part of that is going to come from learning to be flexible, and recognize the opportunities you’ve been letting slip by you wholly unrecognized.

In 2013, women purchased over $800 million worth of romance novels.

They’re not doing that because their desires for erotic stimulation are fully sated by their real-life encounters; they’re doing that because they are STARVED for it.

Whether she’s 15 or 55, a woman loves the thought of being swept up with a Rochester or a Romeo. Yet, as she ages, and life repeatedly denies her this, her faith in ever experiencing such a romance wanes, and she retreats further into a world of make-believe, out-of-reach eroticism.

The success of the romance novel directly reflects this general discontent women have with men in the Anglosphere; its popularity implies that women largely are surrounded by men who are not satisfying them on an emotional level… let alone a physical one.

Because of this, if you can teach yourself to be a man who CAN provide erotic stimulation IN REAL LIFE, your relationships will shine with mutual satisfaction.

Sound like a tall order? Perhaps it is. Luckily, there is a cheat-sheet out there that makes manifesting this reality a little easier:

Romance novels.

Ever sleep with a new girl, only to end up feeling empty inside once all is said and done?

Ever struggle with seeing yourself as a victim, blaming the world for not giving you what it owes you?

Ever start taking successes and failures far too personally, and letting them mess with and control your emotions?

Ever let your own false sense of superiority lead you to treat other people in ways you later wish you hadn’t?

Sometimes it feels like you might never win. Everyone seems to have their game together except you. You feel like you are always trying to “catch up”. It eats away at you subconsciously until you seek the lows you are used to. You rationalize away fleeting successes. You feel overwhelmed and, worst of all, you aren’t sure you enjoyed it all that much.

Recently I have been afforded a window of opportunity to study this feeling in myself again. It has been a long time since I have felt like this with women, but now as I reflect upon it I think it is a topic worthy of getting into for you guys.

In any endeavor there are two kinds of difficulty:

• Those obstacles that can be overcome by the resources you have access to (in the woods you can make a fire to keep warm),

• And those obstacles that cannot be attained by seemingly any means (in those same woods you find out what it takes to survive).

In response to these two types of difficulty there are often two ways people respond: they become a "workaholic" in regards to the things they can influence, or they become a "protestor" for a certain kind of symbolic change that will modify what is attainable and what isn't.

These two kinds of difficulties lead to much of what you can see in the world, whether it be the man protesting how girls need to change, or the man who constantly strives to be "on top" so that he might have greater perceived value than others.

When it comes to HARD work both types of men have justifications for their own version.

Whether the argument is about responsibility or about change often shapes a man's image to the rest of the world. Is he hard at work at being the best of the choices we have, or is he hard at work to expand/change those choices? Both approaches have their merits, but I introduce you to these two approaches to illustrate a third kind of difficulty.

Heart.

Note from Chase: this is our second article from John Turner, a member of our discussion forum. John’s first article was about “The Seduction Triangle”; in this article, he discusses the differences between men who approach doing better with women from a more broken perspective vs. men who approach it from a healthier one. Here’s John.

In recent years, it seems that the “PUA” lifestyle has gotten more and more attention in the media, and from what I’ve seen, it has been mostly negative.

This can seem confusing to beginners:

If learning pick up is going to make me a more attractive man and a better lover / boyfriend / husband, then shouldn’t girls encourage guys to learn this, and not be disgusted and irritated when the subject of pick up comes up?

Well, yes and no.

In my article “Tactics Tuesdays: Calling Her When Texts Don’t Pan Out”, commenter AnonDude asked the following:

“I found that interesting and it would be great if you could write a post on different styles and goals of seduction, pros and cons of each, combinations of different styles and stuff like that.”

I thought this’d make for a fun article, so decided to write this one next.

Now, this might not necessarily be as practical an article, since, as you’ll see, you are what you are and you like what you like and you don’t have much, if any, conscious control over that.

Nevertheless, this may still be useful for you: we’ll be looking at what you want, why you do what you do, and what things you ought to be focused on (and what things not).

Let’s talk about what the 3 sorts of lady-killer are... and figure out which one you are.

This should be a fun and enlightening article, I hope.

A few days back I answered a comment on my article about calling girls when texts aren’t doing the trick, and one of the remarks I made in my response is that the most fun lays you will have are the ones where:

1. The girl really likes you a lot, or

2. The ones where the girl doesn’t like you at all.

Some of the guys on the forums wanted to know what I meant by that second one. A girl’s got to like you to sleep with you, right?

Well... not necessarily.

In fact, sometimes it’s even better for your chances when she doesn’t.

So, in today’s article, I’m going to cover 10 situations in which a girl will sleep with you... even if she doesn’t like you.