How to Be Cool: 4 Lessons from Science and Hollywood | Girls Chase

How to Be Cool: 4 Lessons from Science and Hollywood

I taught myself how to be “cool” as a junior high student many years ago. It was an intuitive process for me at the time, though filled with social experiments and trial and error – and lots of beating up on myself to get it just right.

I’ve spent years trying to figure out a good way to teach all the aspects of being cool. A way to boil it all down to something simple, streamlined, and easily remembered and used by anyone who aspires to “cool”: who wants to be that person that everybody else just looks at and says, “Man, that guy is cool.”

how to be cool

How do you transform someone who “doesn’t get it” – whom others laugh at, make fun of, disrespect, or ignore – into someone they look up to, gravitate toward, and esteem?

To do this, of course, you need good tactics – you need to be able to give them the “what to do”; but more than this, you need the underlying principles: what is it about cool people that just makes them so damn cool?

Well, after years of non-starters on an article about this, I will say that I have successfully boiled “cool” down to four (4) core elements that are eminently doable and absolutely teachable.

Get all four of these right, and you will be – without question – unstoppably, unspeakably, almost unbearably cool.

And the best news is, all any of them takes is a little practice and, yes... a little discipline.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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PUA Brian Kinney's picture

Hello Chase,

I've been reading your amazing posts, they're just awesome.

I have an important question regarding the rule #1. It is difficult for me to understand how to add value to the interactions all the time without being perceived as the typical nice guy who spends most of his time doing favors/compliments/requests to others for being accepted and loved, of couse this men always fail and people normally abuse. So,

How do you always add value to interactions AVOIDING the nice guy frame so people perceive you as really cool? any examples?

Keep up the amazing work!

PUA Brian Kinney

Ib's picture

It's all about timing, you can't just suddenly do a favor for a guy when he didn't ask for it, nor give a random compliment.

Here's an example on compliment: I was out with some friends this weekend, and they had with them a guy I had met two times before, who didn't really seem to like me. He hadn't shaved for a while, so one of the girls started saying it didn't fit him, and he should shave. And all I said was that it looked cool and that girls find it sexy. Suddenly he was all nice to me and wanted to be my friend.

I wasn't just giving him a compliment, I was also disagreeing with the girl and I was on his side. If I had said it was cool right when I met him, it would come of as weird and I wouldn't get the same response.

David Riley's picture

To add to this comment when you over compliment people, you come off as a try hard and uncool. Along with that people don't like when you suck up to them. It can be flattering at first, but then you just start annoying people in the group. Soon members in the group will begin wondering what is up with you. This is why I really like Ib's example so much. It shows the perfect timing of what to do. It also shows how to handle people who don't particularly like you. You see it in TV shows and movies all the time, sucking up to people who don't like you will not make them like you more. Anyway good discussion.

Take care,

Just Dave

David Riley's picture

To add to the comment, I would actually say the example Ib gave above was a great example. It shows you the right things to do. The last thing you want to do is suck up to people who don't like you. No one likes suck ups. People can tell when your trying to hard. When you're being relaxed as in Ib's example above everything comes off as natural. People will be warmer to you and will want to be around you more. People will be receptive to you when you feel like you get them. That's where you want to be and that's what helps you be looked at as a cool person.

Just Dave

Driver's picture

I don't think you could have been more right about everything in that article. I especially liked all the comparisons you drew between the cool vs. uncool. Really solidified all the ideas for me. Any idea why the uncool guy is so uncool? Maybe a product of social conditioning? Or a life of ruled by fear?

"These are the guys who just dump epic loads of highly visible effort into chasing vigorously after whatever they’re trying to get."

Realizing this is definitely uncool, starting out in a field where you are inexperienced but want success, such as pick-up, do you think this is almost necessary for success or mastery?

On always giving (more) value, I think this is a very masculine way to live. In my experience most cool people are grateful to receive value, but there are people who resent masculinity, more men than women, usually very uncool people, who balk at, and even try to punish or dominate, a person who gives value so freely. Do you think these people can be "won over" to accepting value and giving value back?

You're the man Chase.

David Riley's picture

Hey Driver,

To answer your question about the appearance of the uncool guy when he's pursuing something, it's about their dignity. They don't mind being taken advantage of and sucking up to whomever to get it. They follow what everyone else says and they don't bother to think for themselves. They're looking for someone to acknowledge them and they don't care how they look. They lose respect for themselves and shamelessly go after what they want. Even if it means being made a fool out of. Uncool people will let people degrade them if it means they can obtain whatever it is they want.

Eventually people like that can be won over. It just depends when and where you meet them. If I happen to meet someone who doesn't value masculinity, I ask them why they feel that way. I'm not trying to judge them, I'm just seeking to get their perspective. When they're done telling me that, I ask them if they've ever considered looking at it another way. Then I probe with questions about my point. Not in a judging manner. It's more like why did they pick the green crayon vs. the purple crayon. By making them think, we can come to a sort of middle ground.

A lot of men dislike masculinity for a number of reasons, they didn't have any positive male role models, the masculine image is under attack, or they're trying to side with feminists. It could be a number of those factors. If a guy is hating on masculinity in front of a girl, it's because he thinks she'll sleep with him for his disdain for men. Some guys are just that desperate for sex. Media has been playing a large affect in how men are portrayed in society. They're look at as idiots, rapists, misogynists, or whatever word is trending these days. Either way the media is basically saying men are bad and can't be trusted. As a results some men feel that if they talk about how bad men are, some girls will give them pity sex. It just doesn't work that. Anyway, that's a little inside why some men hate masculinity.

Take care,

Just Dave

V's picture

Hey Chase, this was a great article. I have a question that I would love for you to answer because I went through it as well. Dave I would like your advice on this too, and please get chase to answer this because we went through the same exact things.

When I was in high school I would get girls but I missed a whole lot because I thought they weren't attractive enough, and I remember you said you had girls chase you in high school also, but never got with them.

It's driving me crazy now because I missed so many easy ass lays and could of been a natural. I want to know how you dealt with this before you consistently got women.

It drives me so crazy that I didn't sleep with all that easy pussy, it's making me depressed. What did you do chase to get over it? What would you do dave?

And if it never bothered you, how do I let it stop bothering me and get some easy pussy?

Thank you

David Riley's picture

Hey V,

For me when I look back on situations I'm looking at them as an adult man and not a teenage boy anymore. Back then I didn't have the resources I do now and the experience I have. Therefore I can't beat myself up about something I didn't know how to handle. I took the high road and sought to learn about women and research how they thought. I realized I was "strong" (strong meaning here that I didn't have the experience at the given time) at the time, but I could get more experience and become stronger. That's what I spent the majority of my high school years thinking. I made the best decisions I knew how to make and would compare results during my next interactions.

It's easy for me to look back on my previous attempts with women, and say, "Duh! How could I have missed that?" Back when I was a teenager it was more like, "Damn, surely there must be a solution to this problem but was is it?!" I'm a lot more sure and confident in my abilities these days. The way I got better was researching how to get better with women. I didn't find Girlschase, until about half way through my freshmen year in college. Before that I read the game and forsook mainstream dating advice because it was getting results. I started going for a more unorthodox approach with women. I noticed when I went more experimental I got higher results and when I went mainstream I got lower results. It all came down to me having a burning desire to understand women.

Now also keep in mind I get paid to be a researcher these days so I don't mind spending hours and days reading on a certain topic. I am also a scientist where I don't mind going out into the field and relentlessly testing a hypothesis. One of the things I can tell you, is you can be so hard on yourself. Not every experiment will go the way you want it to. I always seek to make new mistakes because there's a problem if I keep making the same ones. That my friend is called insanity. Track your results and don't be afraid to try new things.

Take care,

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

One hell of an article man! I just have this one question with an issue that is like a stick in my spokes. Im a 20 year old guy but i dont think my voice is fully developped. When i am in an unfamiliar environement or stressed, my voice tends to get more high and child like. I read your article on voice control but i think the issue is the stress levels! Any advice you might give me how to stay composed and decomress?

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

Check out this article:

Brain Hacks for Stress

Let me know if that helps.

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

I will definately check it out! To be honest though, after this post, i began implementint the law of least effort and day by day my stress is begining to fade away... must be the slowness of movement and speech somehow affecting me on a subconsious level... anyways thanks!

David Riley's picture

No worries Anon,

I'm glad to hear the problem is fading away day by day.

Take care,

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

This still happens to me from time to time too

Anonymous's picture

Especially when im hungry or had too much caffeine. Its gets hard to control your state of mind when your thoughts are racing through your head hence why i am stressed.

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

When I get hungry, I can feel my energy fading at a very rapid rate. This can lead to high levels of stress and increased aggression sometimes. As soon as I get food back into my system, my energy and drive comes back up. It like a car, it runs better when it's on fuel rather than empty.

As far as caffeine perhaps cut the amount of caffeine back that you are consuming on the day to day. This should help bring down the stress levels. Our problems are easy to fix when we start examining the causes.

Just Dave

Emile's picture

Thanks for the advice Dave! Already dropped to half a cup a day and seeing results!

Take it easy,

Wolf's picture

Dave I've been on the boards and have read you used tinder to your advantage. Now as a fellow black man what advice can you give me that works? Because I heard black guys get no love at all and only want light skin the most.


David Riley's picture

Hey Wolf,

Yes, I have had results with Tinder and find it very useful if I use a very witty style. I am a dark skinned around Kevin Hart's complexion. However the way I set up my profile helps tremendously. On my Tinder profile I have 2 full body pics:

1 of me reclining in a night lounge after my concert
1 of in a plaid shirt with blue jeans on a sunny day with my arms to my side
1 My last photo is a face shot of me with my fraternity letters, and a smirk that says "I know you want me."

My profile has just one line, "I know you like chocolate ;)" - This does one thing it filters out automatically all the girls who don't like black guys. It also let's her know that I can be her guilty pleasure

I've also used "I like girls who smile ;)" and "I don't bite ;)", your lead picture helps tremendously. My lead picture was the one of my letters. Girls would eat that up when I was in my college town. When I was back home in my hometown, I would have to change it up. The reason was that some girls may not know my fraternity or may have had a bad experience with it. I would also add if you are tall, make sure to have full body shots. Girls will assume your fat if you just have face pics.

Likes: Some days I would be choosy and other days I was lax. Girls I actually ended up banging with girls, who I would have passed on. Sometimes I would think too she was too "white", but turns out she was actually into black guys. I avoided big girls like the plague. I know some guys who would plow through, but if I saw only face shots I didn't go for it. I was once driving with a buddy of mine who clicked like on every picture and got an escort and a tranny. Being choosy helps your cause.

Messages: Follow the texting template from the website. Sometimes a girl will message first but she could potentially be an escort or a spam bot. I am very direct and to the point. "Hey Jane, hope your day/weekened/week is going well." She will reply, I'll say she looks like an interesting person. Then I will suggest a meet up on the third message. This will filter out bad leads and save a lot of time. If she's interested she will say yes. I once had a girl in one of my Tinder LR's tell me if was her birthday. I told her to have me come over and celebrate. I literally went on of my fraternity parties to go have fun with her, and came right back to the party after I was done. Another rule of thumb is to get a girls phone after the agreed meet up and move to there. Some girls delete tinder and then you lose contact with them.

Never message a girl more than once, she got it the first time. Some girls click like on your picture because they know you'll click like on them. On top of that, they saw your message. Maybe they met another guy. Believe girls get matches all day so never take it personal. I would also recommend deleting your account every so often. This way you can try your approach again but with new pictures and profile head. You may see your results increase or decrease. If your at a festival pull out Tindr. If you're at a crazy college festival pull out Tindr. You will meet girls who are down for some action.

Hope that helps!

Take care,

Just Dave

Don's picture

Hey Chase,

Great stuff here, and really well organized. I still have some questions about the nuances of value. Is it appropriate to give value by smiling and laughing often? I feel like that's a good way to make others feel accepted and well-received... but does it come off as uncool when overdone? I have trouble finding that balance.

I'd love your thoughts! Thanks.


David Riley's picture

Hey Don,

When you feel like you have to force a smile or laugh, that's when you shouldn't be laughing or smiling. When you feel a smile creep on your face or feeling yourself about to burst from laughter, let it happen. Basically when I saying is finding a balance is as simple as going with what feels right. When you are laughing and smiling at everything you come off as a nice guy. Now one thing I don't want you to do is begin to over think everything. Just because you're not laughing and smiling at everything it doesn't make you a serious person. If anything it shows you as a person who is not easily impressed. People will often laugh to diffuse tension. Guys who are master conversationalist use this tension to their advantage. Anyway I hope that clears out the moderation issue a bit for you.

Take care,

Just Dave

John.'s picture

I saw this comment and agree with Don that a comprehensive value article would be a great addition to this site. After all the reading I have done here, I find myself being able to understand most of the concepts, but the one thing that is still fuzzy in my mind is the idea of value. Even more important than value itself are the intricacies of providing value.

On another note, I had an epiphany about drinking and doing drugs in high school. The people who drink and do drugs are cooler because they are consistently breaking the rules. Just a little side note.

Anyway, this is probably one of my favorite articles on the site, about a crucial and interesting topic. Thanks for writing it!
Keep the great content coming,

David Riley's picture

Hey John,

I will let Chase and the other Author's know about your request. In the meantime check out these articles.

Social Value
Value with Women
Dialing Down Value

Let me know if these help

Take care,

Just Dave

phelwan's picture


Very well put for everyone who is interested. Bravo! Probably on the list for top 10 articles of all time on GC. I like how your whole site is about providing value to the people! You have helped me immensely ever since i was, "lost in the sauce". Thanks! However, how would you explain someone or a type of person who is to "cool for school" or "my shit doesn't stink" type?


David Riley's picture

Hey Phelwan,

Basically someone who is "Too Cool for School" or "There shit doesn't stink" feels they are better than most people in their given group. They tend to have a very cocky and arrogant attitude. Sometimes they can be too smart for their own good. Other times they can just be completely full of themselves. They feel like you can't tell them anything because they know it all.

Take care,

Just Dave

Chase Amante's picture


In addition to Dave's response, I'd also add that much of the time, what this actually is is just a show the person is putting on because they know it increases the appearance of their having value. If they act super aloof, they look as though they're "above it all", and most others around them will be impressed. This can be quite handy to use yourself, especially in weird situations or situations where you'd otherwise look alone or isolated but want to come across as simply being superior instead.

More or less, it's frequently just putting on airs.

One of the most fun ways of dealing with people doing this is to just get in their line of sight and then act even more aloof and disinterested than they are. If you seem attractive and high value, many people at this point will break character and engage you. Some will think you're teasing them and see through their act, while others will think you really are just "better than them" and start chasing after you.

Another solution, if you can tell they're probably out of their element and trying to make sure they don't look weak, is just to be really warm and friendly and nice, in a very laid back and cool manner, and wait for them to let their guards down.


Anonymous's picture

Really COOL article ;)

Anonymous's picture

I know you've heard this a thousand times. But you have changed my life for the better chase! Im only 18 and have a lot ahead of me because of you. My deepest gratitude and thanks!

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

You're at a good age, I actually discovered this website when I was 18 myself. I've been putting into practice for the best 3+ years. As long you stay with it, you will obtain and experience so many things.

Enjoy the ride,

Just Dave

Sir's picture

Chase, it would be great if you made an
article on " How to become a Sex God ".

David Riley's picture

Hey Sir,

Check out this article link here:

Giving Girls Orgasms
3 Ways to Help her Orgasm
Oral Sex

Let me know if these help

Just Dave

Moon's picture

Great article. BYou've talked about "advertise casually your achievements", how to do it and remain cool and humble at the same time?? I think it requires another post ;)

David Riley's picture

Hey Moon,

Check out this article here: Humility for The Elite Man

Let me know if that helps.

Just Dave

jj123's picture

hey Chase,

I praise you for persisting with streamlining these concepts into one formula. I agree with the above-comment, definitely a top 10 post (right up with the 'friend zone' signs). I was raised in more culturally-conformist and conservative environments than those who were in charge cared to admit. It was either you followed the rules [and get high grades], or end up on the street corner wrapped in yesterday's newspapers, holding a paper bag with a bottle inside, dragging along remnants of cardboard boxes.

As for rule-breaking, an old example comes to mind: for a couple of years (about ages 14-16) in the mid-90's, I took karate lessons...the 'sensei' instructor, who was relatively young but a classic law-enforcement-training control freak, took a disliking toward me. I was often pulled aside and scourged for some (usually minor) offense, given more pushups, etc. I was in a mixed-aged (beginner range) class of teenage through late middle-age students, half male, half female. One peer female from the local high school was 'hot' to say the least. Outgoing, popular, somewhat athletic, etc. But as I had more problems with this and another [older female] martial arts instructor, the hot chick seemed to get closer, to touch me more (often with her tongue out), and started teasing me about my 'troublemaking.' This WAS BAFFLING to say the least. Mind you, I went to an all-male Catholic "prep" high-school where I totally avoided (officially) getting into I would 'let loose' and criticize authority elsewhere. When I went to college and also towed the line, I was totally on the outs with attractive women.

I'm more than half-way to being cool, going by your outline. I'm more quiet in social group settings (and don't jockey to set the agenda like I'm a corporate chairman, and avoid those who do). Many people have described me as 'stoic,' decisive, quick-witted, coldly objective, and in-control...the only time I lose my cool is when people start using subjective, personally disparaging attacks when disagreeing, especially on the larger political and cultural questions. Then, I'll be "overly opinionated" and a bit know-it-all. On #3, I am a master of "least effort." As a writer, I work on my own schedule, pitch a few proposals, but they are lengthier, more involved, and usually get accepted. I've yet to collect a Pulitzer (and still relatively early in the game, anyway). My apparently now-former friend was gravely insulted a few months ago when I suggested he see a shrink...after he complained email after email of "how hard" he was "working as a first year teacher" and "still drowning" while constantly "calling in sick just to get rested and keep up." This was after his many years of training, too.

My issue boils down to this: Like you, I've struggled with depression (and still sometimes do), but keep it mostly to myself around others, or just self-isolate (lest I be around other people, give an honest account of what I'm dealing with, then get pummeled for 'whining' and 'complaining.'). But here's what else happens: Over the last 15 years, I've found myself surrounded by some of the most 'uncool' of all young adults in the region as many of my friends. I've met many of them in church settings (where some of the rituals bring me solace and edification). I grew up with parents and grandparents yelling about how I needed to avoid "troublemakers" and taught me to fear the cops. But things have usually ended badly with most of these conservative (and often hypocritical), 'uncool' people, who are easily offended and will hold grudges as victims. On the other hand, my longest-term buddy (who is long distance) has been arrested multiple times and (usually) takes life in stride.

I'm not actively dating right now (work projects take priority), but keep up with your site to be prepared. But what do you make of my situation, and where do I find cooler people to associate with?


David Riley's picture

Hey JJ,

If you really want to develop into a "cooler" person, you must branch out into other interests. You have to find things that interest you. You have to be willing to take risks. People who are cool don't worry about what ever think of them. They act on their own accord. On a special note this also what "real" men do as well. They do things on their own time and don't let people hold them back. Even when people try to guilt trip them, they just brush it off. Now this isn't to say be reckless, be sensible, but don't let people hold you back. If the benefit out ways the risk go for it. You either get busy living or get busy dying.

On a side note, I was really hoping you were going to say something happened with that Karate girl. It was a interesting story. It held my attention, overall your situation reminds me a lot of my and my friend's situation. It's interesting to see how similar of a story we all have. Regardless I'm glad that you are taking the steps to improve yourself. You seem to be more than half way their to reaching your goals.

Stay focused and Take care,

Just Dave

Ethan's picture

Great one Chase! It's been long in coming, that's for sure ;)

It's cool to see how your philosophy of universal heroics has come together over the years. I look forward to reading more pieces like this that integrate your philosophy in easy to grasp, practical ways, with of course the more in-depth pieces already in place for those interested in learning more about the foundations.


Chris C's picture

Interesting article bro. Cool insight, don't mind the pun. Do me a favor? Watch Fight Club. It's worth watching once

David Riley's picture

Hey Chris,

That movie has been referenced a good number of times on the forum and on the website.

Just Dave

Gem's picture

Hey Dave I had a question for Chase that if you could give to him I’d appreciate, though if you could answer it yourself I wouldn’t mind either:

My question is one that I’ve caught myself asking a lot more, recently…. and I feel like it’s really obvious and I know the answer to it but am not sure as to what exactly it is.

Why is it that some people can make massive success in one field and then not bring it to another? Is it because they never conceptualize the process of skill building? Chase made it first in music and then figured he could follow a methodical, deliberate process like that to get better with girls…

But usually you’ll just see musicians do awesome in music and then not much else or basketball players make it in basketball and then not much else… and I realize that there are many that do, accomplish significant things in several fields, but quite a number of people simply don’t and remain restricted to one field.

So that’s my question lol thanks :)


David Riley's picture

Hey Gem,

Good topic, I personally had that problem when I was a teenager. I was a really head strong musician. I was "The boy who could bend sound waves", I played multiple instruments. I would add value to any band I joined. I even produced my own CDs and managed to get them on the radio. I had a very intense drive . . . for music. I thought school was boring, and I didn't want to work the rest of my life at a grocery store. I didn't start developing other interests other than music, until I couldn't relate to anyone else. I could only talk to people about music. It made me pretty one dimensional, that was the complete opposite of what I wanted.

I started taking my many musical talents and started branching out. I started an interests in graphic design to make my own album covers. I took up photography to make better album covers. I took up coding to design my own websites. I sought to become a complete independent artist. Hence the meaning of my name Just Dave. I would be able to do most of the work myself. I didn't have the money to pay people to promote me. I started reading up on social skills to further promote my music. I started learning more about people to appeal to people. It worked. A lot of musicians lack that drive because they focus too much on one thing. They don't see the value of other tasks. They look to grow and develop.

It's interesting because after my last band broke up, I sold up my instruments and used the money for modeling classes. I did a complete 180, but that was the time I discovered GC. I cleaned my image up, and developed a fierce sexy walk. Ever since then I sought to never stop growing. Now my biggest interests in weight lifting. However, I use that to add my other areas of interests. Ultimately, I've become an Renaissance Man or man who can perform many unique skills. Anyway hope that answers your question.

Take care,

Just Dave.

GoodTimer's picture


There should be an article about handling 3rd parties aggresion (and keeping your social status and opinion of your girlfriend about you not harmed).
It can be something from fat old lady occupying 5 seats so you can't really get into your seat somewhere where you have numbered seats, or it can be stronger 'alpha' male or gang of dudes attacking you and trying to make you look like a wuss and themselves awesome in eyes of your girlfriend (you can get such girls with the help of this site).

What about handling such aggresions? Or turning down frames where girls tease you 'so 5 strong guys taking me and telling you to leave me otherwise you will be smashed, how could you handle it?' (when you show yourself as a strong man).


David Riley's picture

Hey GoodTimer,

Check out these article links:

Stealing Your Girl
Disruptive Men
Caution When Introducing Girlfriends to Friends

Let me know if these are helpful.

Take care,

Just Dave

rwilliams82's picture

What's up Chase,

How about doing an article where you go into detail, giving some specific examples, about Adding Value (Rule # 1). Would you be willing to do that because guys seem to want to know more about it? Myself included.

David Riley's picture

Hey Williams,

Check out this article here:
Social Value and Unbalances

Let me know if that helps, if not I'll let the Chase and other authors know of your request.

Take care,

Just Dave

JonathanH's picture

Hello Chase, I have an uncomfortable situation when I have to stand still when it's called for. Of course I can stand still fine by myself, but when other people look at me, especially girls and especially when I'm attractive, then I will have a very great urge to be in motion. Thanks to that I get all fidgety and sweat to just get myself to stand still, weird right? Is there any pointers that will get me in good shape of standing until I am no longer required to stand in place? I work as a bouncer btw.

David Riley's picture

Hey Jonathan,

Here's some articles on dealing with stress and keeping cool:
Brain Hacks for Stress
Talking to Hot Girls

Anyway overtime Jonathan you will become so accustomed to seeing pretty girls that it won't bother you anymore. I mean sure you may see some stunning ones, but eventually you won't be phased by their looks. Girls who you once thought were really pretty will just seem average. Another thing to remember to is that you're in the perfect environment. If you can handle keeping your cool around girl's who are trying to look their best, then you'll be in great shape.

The same thing happened to me a couple years ago when I was taking modeling classes. I would see girls who were potential future pin ups. After about a month I was use to them. I would be at the mall with some of my friends and run into the modeling girls. My friends would be drooling and I would just be keeping my cool. Anyway I hope that helps.

Stay focused,

Just Dave

Danny's picture

Dear Chase and Dave,

There is a recent news article lately and this really terrified the beginner like myself, here is the article:

[Palo Alto man suspected of harassing, groping woman in park]

My question is: How do we prevent ourselves falling into those situation during pickup? This is exactly the reason why I always don't want to be too aggressive (my flaw is NOT AGGRESSIVE ENOUGH....sigh ) or assertive because beginner like myself got scared the shits out whenever we think of the possibility that the girl might call 911 and get us into trouble.

Do you have any article that described what is the line that we shouldn't cross?
Also, how do we apply manhandle kiss on the girl and NOT get into trouble?

Here is Chase's article on manhandle kiss:

Thank you!

David Riley's picture

Hey Danny,

The story:
I read the entire story, anyway what you have in the example above is a case of a guy "forcing" a girl to do something without her consent. That is something we strongly warn guys against. Personally for me if a girl gives me two "No's" if I'm trying to push for something physical, I completely back off and end the interaction. What that mad did could be classified as sexual assault. You never want to make a girl do something that she doesn't feel comfortable doing. Guys will fall victim into this when they think a girl is playing hard get. However when a girl is physically trying to get you off her, you're doing something wrong. As long as you're being conscience of that, you'll never run into that problem.

Personal Experience:
I generally try to make sure a girl is fully aware of what is going on. When a girl comes over my place, within 10 or I'm making a move on her. IF she resists the first move, I warm her up a bit more and try to further build a connection. If she still resists, I completely back off. I give her space for about 20 minutes and tell her, I need to run out somewhere. I also tell them I respect their boundaries and let them leave. I've only had this happen with me with two over the past 3 years. What I do is I screen heavily before I left a girl into my place. Sometimes a girl will seem like she wants sex with you, but then completely change her mind. When that happens with me, I just let them go. It's too much of a risk and laws are too strict.

Good news:
The good news is that was two girls out of countless others, as long as your respecting women's choices there will be more girls. Girls will let you get close to them as long as you have a sexy vibe. Then there clothes will fly right off. As far as the manhandle kiss, I've pulled it off successfully before. I've done it with girls while out on dates. I knew she had some attraction for me, so I just went for it. Whenever I asked to kissed girls, rarely ever did. However when I manhandled kissed girls, they were a lot more willing. The more experience you get, the better you will become at making these types of decisions.

Take care,

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

I've read your posts on clothing and I think I naturally have a good look. But I wouldn't say its cool, my clothes fit me well and I get compliments but I'm thinking more along the line of someone who wears a baseball cap backwards, it seems really old hat and uncool nowadays, but sometimes I see someone who totally pulls it off.

I'm wondering what makes it work for some and not others?

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

It's not the clothes necessary it's how you wear them. The way you wear is a result of your body language. When you have a good vibe of self assurdness you'll be doing just fine. Imitate cool celebrities, ironically being cool comes down to body to reacting to everything. "You don't have to react to everything, just let the clowns do them and enjoy the show." - Ice Cube

Cool people are the one's who aren't really fazed by anything if much. They're also the ones who has a good grasp of who they are. When you convey that emotion in your head, your body will do the rest.

Just Dave

KING_12's picture

You know what you are talking about. u just put ways we naturally think into words. I have a question. I been doing something wrong when trying to get sum new ass. I believe Its because im not open about what i want from her. She knows naturally( all girls do) but i wanna know what you think Chase.

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