(2) Intermediate

It’s Christmastime. But what if you’re alone? In that case, it’s also a prime time to find a new girl to cozy up to for the holidays.

It’s Yuletide. Christmastime.

Christmastime is also the time of the Wild Hunt, an ancient European tradition that predates the birth of Christ. And if you’re single and not otherwise with family this year, Christmas is the perfect time for a wild hunt of your own.

Last year, Alek wrote a piece on why winter is a tougher time to meet girls. It’s a great piece, and it’s a phenomenon I’ve seen with plenty of guys. Most guys are a lot more motivated to go out during summer... a motivation that all but dries up during winter. There are fewer women out during the winter, it’s colder, and many people settle into seasonal relationships (which they may or may not abandon when spring returns). Seasonal affective disorder kicks in. Lots of people just get, well, depressed during wintertime.

Nevertheless, personally, winter’s always been my very favorite time to meet girls. I love it. And there are some very specific reasons why I love it:

1. If she’s out, she’s motivated.There’s a certain level of self-selection that comes about during the winter. People go out just to party and have fun and enjoy the good weather when it’s warm out. These people who just want to have fun tend to stay home a lot more as the weather gets worse. For practical purposes, that means any given girl who’s out is a lot more likely to be looking to hook up during winter than summer, and is not out just to party. Her motivation is far more primal, and her drive to brave bad weather and chance an empty venue much stronger than her more contented, less motivated peers.
   

2. The vibe is more conversational. Another reason why I love winter is because everyone is in a more subdued mood. No one’s partying hard and getting crazy. That makes it much easier for me to run my preferred approach, with lots of deep dives and chase frames. Girls have less time for conversation when it’s warm out and there’s energy in the air – they just want to party, and their attention spans are shorter. During winter, their attention spans are more focused and they’re more down for a good chat.

3. She gives you more leeway. A third reason I like winter best of all is the ever-present desire to pair up for winter. If she’s single when it’s cold out, she probably doesn’t want to be single. That makes her more motivated to do things that may lead to her not being single – like giving a man who approaches her more of a shot, and being more willing to take a chance with him. In practical terms, this means you get more leeway with women during the winter. I’ve noticed in general I can screw up with girls much more during the winter (like: slip onto a boring topic, or be a little too aggressive, or not have any time to meet up with her for a first date) and still take them to bed. Whereas if I make the same mistakes when it’s warm outside, a girl’s more likely to get ghost. I’m not sure if this is because of the longer attention span / fewer distractions / less male competition the winter offers, or if it’s because girls are less content being single during winter... I suspect it’s a combination.

That’s just winter in general.

Yet here’s the important part for this post: I have noticed, having gone out on Christmas on several occasions, that on and around Christmas day, it’s like wintertime in general on steroids.

For this reason, Christmas, in my opinion, is one of the best times of the year to find a new girl... and unwrap her present.

You can sometimes do things for girls to make them more compliant. But you must be strategic in this – and you absolutely can’t supplicate.

Note right up front: this post is for somewhat more advanced guys. At least intermediate-on-up. You need to be fine saying no to girls and not have an overwhelming need to please before you’re ready for this technique. Otherwise, you’re going to end up sabotaging yourself with it.

If you’re a regular Girls Chase reader (or if you own my book), you know how important investment is to doing well with girls. It’s a cornerstone of your success with women. If you’re just catching up and need an investment primer, here’s my three-part compliance series, to wet your whistle:

1. How to Get Her to Say “Yes”
2. What If She Says No?
3. How to Say No to Others and Turn Down Compliance

In my article on Donald Trump persuasion, Lawliet asks a question about giving compliance to get it:

“When we give others compliance, does that increase their compliance in us? In social situations with friends? with meeting girls also? What about in sales? I notice some salesmen help clients do things.

If normally not (ex. Sad shopping guy, helpful guy, horny guy), is there a way to leverage it so it does? I somehow suspect it can (why else would so many guys use it as flirting?), but have not decrypt the key yet (they use it in the wrong way).

Some examples would be great! (love to hear your ancedotals stories)

Just my theory,
Lawliet”

So, yes – this is absolutely a thing.

In his book Influence, Robert Cialdini cites the example of giving free stuff (like a flower) to ask for a donation, a tactic which started at the airport with the Hare Krishnas – which if you’re too young to remember this scourge on American airports, as I am, you can still see preserved historically in the movie Airplane!:

The thing the Airplane! clip shows you is that this tactic is often pretty grating.

The thing it doesn’t tell you – and that Cialdini talks about – is that it can be (and in the case of the Hare Krishnas, it was) extremely effective.

Yet before you go running off to use it in your seductions, we have a few things to discuss about it, first.

You can use preselection to “trade up” with girls in a venue. In this way, you go from “cute” girls, to “hot” ones… To outright stunners.

What is preselection?

For those of you who are new to Girls Chase, think of it like this. If a stranger walked up to you and asked you for a favor, would you be more likely to do it if the guy was seemingly homeless or was wearing a suit and tie?

In a way, the same thing is true for women when it comes to attraction. Girls are looking for proof that you are a guy who is good with women (aka a man of value), and what better evidence of that is there than you being seen around other attractive women?

There are enough articles on this subject, so I will not bore you veterans with the details. If this is the first time you’ve come across this concept, all you need to know is that for those top tier women, being a guy who is great with women is paramount to getting them.

My game hinges on this idea. When I am out trying to take a girl home, it is my job to manufacture this so I can cash out on the hottest girl I possibly can. By the end of the night, I ideally want everyone to love me and every girl to be attracted to me – and when the time is right, choose my ideal girl out of the lot, and take her. Welcome to the deadliest style of game.

Some guys are too polite for their own good. This over-politeness is called the “social you” – and you have to unlearn it to do better with girls.

Our good friend Hector has written about the Divine Comedy, relaying a clear vision of life as a "big play." In his article, he explained that “There is no you” and that “You can be anyone,” which means the way you act depends on the social circumstances at the given moment.

There is the at-work you, the at-the-gym you, and various other modes of you... and the current you is able to evolve.

In this article I’m going to apply that theory to a specific “you” that exists and keeps lots of guys from casting out lines in public areas: the Social You (or the “SY” as we’ll call it from here on out).

How good are you at using what’s in your brain? Fight-or-flight responses in social situations are common – yet you’re not bound to them.

Most pick-up theory is not well informed about the workings of the brain and the nervous system, which causes many guys to severely underperform in terms of their social state control. The author has studied this topic from both theoretical and practical angles for years and would like to share his experience on this issue.

In pick-up theory, state is used as a description of both the mental state and the resulting physical state of a person. Field reports often mention how the “state” of those involved changes during an evening or day out. “State” can more or less be used synonymously with “mood.”

State is an extremely important factor in one’s ability to perform seduction, in that the results of a given action will be heavily dependent on the mood of the person performing it – for obvious reasons. Your mood can be said to be the sum of your earlier interactions, and if your mood is bad, it means that the world has treated you badly – hardly a turn-on. Conversely, a stable, good mood will tell a history of being treated well by the world. And those who are constantly able to stay in a stable, good mood, no matter how bad the situation is, will be looked up to.

In evolutionary terms, your mood is a fitness indicator similar to looking physically healthy. Controlling your mood is therefore of utmost importance in nearly any social setting – and this is what “state control” refers to.

Social status is ‘fuzzy’. That is, you often don’t know exactly where you rank compared to someone else. There are good reasons for this.

Social status is a very fuzzy thing.

On the one hand, you may have clear social status within a specific group. You may clearly be the alpha male of the group (Male #1), the beta male (Male #2), or the gamma male (Male #3), and enjoy the privileges of those high ranks: interested women, respect from men, pride and recognition. Or you may be in the middle. Or even the omega male of the group... The guy who makes up the opposite bookend of the group from the alpha male.

But now step away from the social group we just talked about, and join a different social group. And in this new group, you have no idea what your social status is. You clearly aren’t the alpha here, even if you were the alpha in the old group. But you clearly aren’t the omega, either, even if you were the omega in the old group.

Indeed, you may participate in 10 different social groups, and have different positions within the hierarchies of each one. Alpha in these two, beta in these three, gamma in that one. Maybe you’re the omega in one group – perhaps you just started tennis class, and everyone there is way better than you and knows each other well, and you can’t even hit the ball yet and feel like you do not belong.

Within a social group, the social status of the bookend individuals is clear. Everybody knows who the alpha is, and everybody knows who the omega is. Yet between these roles, it’s much less clear. Are you the beta (#2) male and your buddy is the gamma (#3) male? Or is it the other way around? He’s beta and you’re gamma?

We’re going to talk about these and other measures of the fuzziness of social status in this article.

So, if you’re ready for a little bit of a spun head, buckle in and let’s make you dizzy.

No one’s dating instincts are perfect. Sometimes you’ll think a girl is slutty when the truth is inexperience makes her act too direct.

You don’t realize it until you’re quite experienced with girls, but your instincts – especially as a beginner – don’t always give you the most reliable information.

You see this with a lot of inexperienced men, who end up dating very experienced women, convinced of these girls inexperience and chastity (check out my article on how to gauge a girl’s partner count if you want a better handle on this). Yet the opposite happens too: inexperienced men often write off inexperienced women because they misread these girls’ inexperience as confident experience. Even men who are pretty good with girls often misread these signals.

Today, I’m going to show you 13 things inexperienced women do that cause men to incorrectly assume they are more experienced with men than they are.

There’s a theme running through these 13 things, you might notice. That theme is this: more experienced girls create mystery, build anticipation, and embody a feminine air. Less experienced girls are usually blunt, raw, and over-direct.

Put another way, the more experienced a girl becomes with men, the better able she is to trigger within men the emotions men most enjoy from women. The less experienced she is, the worse she is at this.

Note that none of these are absolutes. There are experienced women who do these things too. However, if you see a girl do two or three or four of these things, you can feel be confident she’s likely inexperienced with men.

That in mind, let’s peel back these 13 things and change how you look at the women you meet.