(2) Intermediate

To lead a girl through a seduction, you need to hit two (2) key points: emotions and logistics. Lead well on these, and the girl is yours.

Last time, in my article on letting her feel allowed to desire you, we discussed two aspects of mental states related to seduction – namely, building her desire for you and letting her feel allowed to desire you. The first one covered the actual induction of a state of attraction whereas letting her feel allowed puts her in a mental state where she opens up to your influence. Both are equally important in seduction.

Today we will observe seduction in a different framework. Mind you that what we will cover in this post is NOT a different way of doing things, just a different way of looking at seduction.

This framework might actually explain different key aspects of seduction, as you will see. Again, these frameworks or models are just used as a way to explain “what is” (the actual seduction process).

What we will discuss today are the “leading emotionally” dimension and the “leading logistically” dimension. Both dimensions are key aspects of seduction that should not be disregarded. They can both take place simultaneously in space and time – i.e., you can both lead emotionally and logistically at the same time.

You probably already have an idea about what “leading” means in terms of seduction, but allow me to expand the concept a little. Also keep in mind that in my report from Bulgaria I also share some real life examples in which the framework covered in this post is applied.

Our society trains men to be helpless, for several of its own reasons. But it’s important you know helplessness is learned... not inborn.

Learned helplessness is the behavior shift that occurs when an animal or individual decides its situation is impossible to change. At this point, the individual decides he is helpless to affect the outcome, and simply gives up trying.

Some of the most tragic stories of crushed spirits come when you discuss learned helplessness. Animals who’ve been caged so long they won’t try to leave even if you leave their cage doors open. Prisoners who aren’t able to operate outside the penal system, so commit crimes to go back to the familiar comfort of the prison yard. And men who’ve been unsuccessful with women so long they don’t even try to meet them.

In a recent popular thread on our Beginners’ Forum, a forum member starts off by asking why women like dominant men and men who take the lead. But it quickly becomes clear his real issue is not a philosophical question of why women prefer dominant men, but an exploration of his desire for women, yet lack of motivation to take steps to meet, date, and sleep with them.

This article will not be about why girls desire dominance and leadership, per se. If you’d like more on those topics, see these articles:

• How to Be a Dominant Man: What You Didn’t Know About the ‘Winner Effect’

• A Failed Relationship is a Failure of Leadership

• Why Leadership is so Key to Seducing Women

• The Real Reason Many Men Can’t Get a Girl

Rather, this article will be about the phenomenon of learned helplessness in the modern male – where it comes from, who’s responsible for it, and what you can do to shake it off.

It’s as important to make a woman feel allowed to desire you as it is to cause that desire. Unless she feels allowed, she’ll quash her desire for you.

Hi everyone. Today I will get more theoretical. My theoretical posts are to serve a purpose and provide a framework to not only help you better understand your successful interactions with women, but also create a foundation for a better understanding of seduction as a whole.

These frameworks and models are just mere representations of the real world, and should only be used for explanatory purposes - i.e., to help you make sense of things, not necessarily to give true explanations of how things are. I will spend two posts on explaining two different frameworks, which will synergistically add to your overall understanding.

In this post I will discuss two aspects of seduction that are key to creating her willingness to have sex with you - namely building her desire for you and letting her feel allowed. My next post will be about the two levels of leading: leading her emotionally and leading her logistically. Both concepts require both levels (all being forms of generating desire or leading) and are equally important in every seduction. Ideally, both should be applied during real life encounters.

The concepts that I am about to share in this post have been covered in my detailed lay report from Bulgaria. If you have been looking for a real life example in which those concepts are applied, I really recommend you read that report. It also has a lot of other great material.

Anyway, enough chitchat, let us get right into it.

What do you do when a girl tests you and you’re suddenly out of your depth? Sidestep! The sidestep lets you avoid all manner of traps, snares, and pitfalls.

The sidestep: it’s an incredibly powerful move and the antidote for a lot of men’s problems when facing resistance.

When a man encounters a wall in a conversation or with a girl, his first reaction is either to give up or to push past the resistance. The flaw in giving up is obvious: neither of you win. You don’t show up to play the game, and it’s over.

The flaw with pushing past resistance is that most guys do it in a needy or overly aggressive way.

They concede to her way of thinking and find a way to please her or assuage her concern.

Or, if they do choose to face her frame head to head, they attempt to strong-arm her emotions at a much more severe emotional level than that at which she resisted. Their brute conversational force scares her off.

Instead, when a man faces resistance, he should consider sidestepping or moving around the obstacle rather than wrestling against it, which usually leaves either your two egos broken.

Parry her loving strikes.

But before we get into the how-to, allow me to illustrate how badly you can embarrass yourself when you try to outmaneuver a much more dominant and socially savvy girl... By sharing with you perhaps one of my most shameful stories.

Girls: pretty darn good at getting what they want from men.

Apologies if this is a little rough-written. I haven’t slept in 36 hours (save a pair of 30-minute cat naps) and just spent 24 of those hours in a hospital emergency ward (not for myself; the injured party’s going to be fine we think). There’s a story there, though not sure if I want to share it. Suffice it to say 24 hours in an emergency ward surrounded by people in dire conditions with loved ones wailing over terrible tragedies is not something you want to experience if you have the chance to avoid it.

If you’re waiting to hear back from me via email, please be patient; I’m back over at the hospital again tonight, and if I’m not too tired after 60 hours of no-sleep I will get back to you within the next day. Anyway, we’ve got a website to run here, and the show must go on, so... on with the article.

I’ve had a few articles on female psychology I’ve been meaning to get up. This is one of them.

One of the strangest things you will notice when men talk about women is that men fall into roughly four different camps on how they think of the opposite sex:

1. The white knight camp: “Women are all saints and angels and must be protected from horrible men!”

2. The doesn’t care camp: “I don’t really know what women’s deal is, but so long as I’ve got one to cook me dinner and give me a blow job I don’t worry about it.”

3. The bitter guy camp: “Women are all evil, scheming, manipulative succubae whose sole purpose in life is to cause men misery!”

4. The ladies man camp: “Women are cute, silly beings who can be fickle and changeable, but they’re a whole heck of a lot of fun.”

The first guy is living in La-La Land, of course. He’s the white knight who dreams of trading his valor and loyalty in for an often ill-defined sexual payday. And the second guy just doesn’t know, and doesn’t care to spend the brain cells trying to know.

But what can we say about the third and fourth guys? Guy #3 looks at Guy #4 and mistakes him for Guy #1. Or he thinks he must have it good with women and has never seen their true nature. Guy #4 looks at Guy #3 and says there’s a guy who just doesn’t know how to push the right buttons with girls.

But is one of these guys wrong? Both men are drawing from often extensive experience reinforcing their views. Guy #4 gets laid plenty, has wonderful girlfriends who devote themselves to him, and overall has a great time with girls. Guy #3 gets ignored by women, taken advantage of by them, and screwed over in his relationships.

So what gives? Is Guy #3 just a crummier judge of character than Guy #4 is? He’s choosing the wrong women? Or maybe he’s just worse at meeting girls and running relationships?

While those things are generally true (i.e., guys with negative thoughts about women tend to harbor these thoughts because they aren’t good at getting what they want with girls), there’s more to the puzzle.

The ‘more’ in question is this: a girl’s going to do what she has to do to get what she wants from you. The difference between Guy #3 and Guy #4 is that Guy #4 makes sure women do things he wants to get what they want from him. Guy #3 has no such standard.

A studly swagger is more than just a walk. It’s an entire way of being. And you’ve got choices. There are four (4) kinds of swag you can adopt: circumstantial, jerk, and more.

A man’s swagger is his foundation. It is the gait of his being and reflects everything about him – how he sees the world, himself, and the relationship between the two.

Even when you are standing still, the way you walk is clear. Because the way you walk isn’t always the way you move one leg in front of the other.

It’s about how you stop and turn, how you grab things, the way you move your hands when you speak. It’s the way you stand. It’s the way you speak.

And in this article, we will discuss how to make your movement swagalicious.

Why? Because women pay attention.

I remember once at a party, the girlfriend of my fraternity brother told me as I walked up to her:

“Hector, I knew that was you I saw earlier!”

“How’s that?” I replied.

“I saw you walking around the party earlier. The way you walk through a crowd is unmistakable.”

“Explain.”

“You...” she paused to think. “You look like you know what you’re doing. You’ve been here before and know how it all works.”

All I could do was smile. That was one of the greatest compliments I could be given.

Now, there are many flavors of swag. Let’s begin with the most basic.

Why do some men cultivate themselves to get more dates, sex, and girlfriends, while others become culture warriors? It is the yin and yang of group morality.

I started off writing an article response to a commenter’s question about how to get inside women’s heads and understand what they’re thinking and why they think it. And I’ll still complete that article at some point and post it. But while I was writing it, I branched off into another direction – into this article.

One of the biggest divides you see among readers and commenters on Girls Chase are the guys who want to know how to change to get better results with girls, and the guys who want girls to change to be and do what they want.

Usually my advice is if you’re in that latter category, you’re going to spend a lot of time feeling angry and frustrated until you move into the former category. That doesn’t mean you become undiscriminating about the girls you go for; the more desirable a man you make yourself, the choosier about girlfriends you’re able to be and the more willing those girlfriends become to bend for you. However, it does mean if you choose this path that you seek to adjust yourself, rather than chide others to adjust.

But of course, chiding others to do and be what we wish is an age-old, widespread feature of human societies. It’s ubiquitous, and almost everyone does it.

And when you see a trend like that, that should tell you this kind of chiding and castigation serves some kind of function.

Today, I want to pick apart these two sides for you: what the difference is between those who look inward, and those who look outward.

And it won’t be as simple as the former are the enlightened and the latter are the fools.