(1) Beginner

If you want learn how to become successful with women as quickly as possible, these particular traits and mindsets will accelerate your progress.

If you want to be amazing with women, there’s one mindset that will land you more success than any other:

The ability to deal with rejection.

When guys ask me what it takes to become amazing with women, I tell them the only thing that separates them from me, is that I’ll face rejection more in a week than they will in their entire life. It’s true. The best salesmen aren’t always the top closers; they just knock on more doors.

Guys also ask me how long it will take to learn and get good. I’ve written articles trying to explain and quantify something like this, but it’s really up to individual experience, work ethic, and the emotional fortitude to deal with a crapload of rejection.

That got me wondering... what qualities make a guy learn success with women quickly? Is there a certain mindset you can embody to become a champion in the shortest amount of time possible? What are the personality quirks and characteristics you can work on to master your transformation in this lifetime?

You can’t get anywhere with that fine chica unless you meet her, so it helps to know how to start a conversation with a girl that intrigues her and sets things in motion.

Every guy wants to know how to start conversations with girls. It's not too hard; you just open your mouth, force air through your lungs, and form vowels.

But still, this is where the vast majority of men fail: at the opener. They let their imagination run wild with all sorts of egoic chatter, creating false timelines, zipping into the future, through the past, and everywhere except right NOW.

Guys ask me how to start conversations with girls at the mall, on the phone, on the bus, in groups, and alone. The list of potential opening situations is virtually endless, limited only by the imagination (opening during a zombie apocalypse, a bank robbery, in a nude sauna, etc.).

At times like these, I want to grab guys by the feet and haul them back to Earth.

We call these cerebral wanderings “mental masturbation.”

So in this guide, I’m going to simplify the process as much as possible. I’m not a fan of micro-managing the meta details of seduction; I’m more of a minimalist. I believe in the power of language and persuasion, yes. But when it comes to starting conversations with women you'd like to get naked in your bed, it’s infinitely more about how you say what you say, rather than what you say. That's the real secret you need to discover here – it's the "how" that should be your focus. Let's get into why that is.

In a world where everyone’s noses are glued to their phones, a woman lowering her phone around you can be a telling sign she likes you.

Ever since smart phones became ubiquitous, guys on seduction forums have had a selection of similar questions/complaints:

• "Girls are too absorbed in their phones to approach!"
• "How do I get girls to take their head phones out?"
• "I can't get approach invitations anymore, women don't even look up now!"

Several nights ago I walked down the street and marveled to myself at how ubiquitous it was: men and women of all ages, young and old alike, totally entranced by their smart phones. Smart phones aren't some 'young hip thing' that all the kids are on and the old folks haven't clued into. Everyone is.

Every solo person I passed on the street had his nose glued to a phone, or, in a few cases, didn't, but was talking to someone via earphones or a Bluetooth headset instead.

Even in some of the groups I passed, some or all of the people would have their phones out in front of them as they talked and laughed to friends.

That might seem like a major approach inhibitor if you came up in the old days where people were more, shall we say, present in their environment. How can you approach a girl when she's so occupied already?

I actually quite like the global smart phone addiction, for two reasons:

1. It's a lot lower pressure to approach anywhere people have their phones out now (which is pretty much anywhere other than a dance floor these days), because bystanders are far more absorbed in their own cell phone adventures and pay even less attention to you

2. You will find out pretty quick if she is going to be willing to ditch her phone to talk to you, or not. Which is about as big an obvious proceed/don't proceed sign as you're going to get (this makes it simpler to weed out the uninterested gals, who quickly return to their phones, from the interested ones, who zero in on you, or at least linger away from their phones)

However, I want to highlight one specific quirk of behavior you'll see with women on phones when they like you.

This is a sign a girl likes you that is pretty obvious once you're aware of it. You've likely seen it a bunch already, and are subconsciously aware of it. Well, now we're going to make it conscious, so you can act on it as soon as you see it.

That sign is that when she's awaiting your approach or engagement, she will put her phone down or sometimes may (gasp) put it away.

Fear can be useful to avoid being eaten by lions. But when it comes to approaching women and living life to its fullest, you must learn how to be fearless.

Imagine how awesome your life would be if you knew how to be fearless. You could do anything. You’d be full beast mode.

I have a friend. Let’s call him Jim. Jim’s a writer. He's like me but not as good looking. He always wanted to write the next American classic. He wanted to be the next Bukowski, Jack London, or Hemingway.

Whenever I’d return from a trip to some foreign country, like Vietnam, Ukraine, or Mexico, I’d invite him to come on my next trip with me. He’d say, “Tony, isn’t it dangerous there? I prefer a nice, safe Alaskan cruise. You should try a cruise.”

When I went camping with him, all he wanted to do was sit around, drinking and sketching pictures of the campfire. I wanted to trek into the forest and climb the nearest mountain. “Oh, Tony, but there are bears and stuff. We could get lost.”

He is also obsessed with mainstream media and believes that right-wing Nazis are taking over the world again. He lives in a constant state of fear. Every decision has some terrible consequence. In this perpetual state of paranoia, nothing truly inspirational happens, nothing random, adventurous, or worthy of retelling.

He never wrote his great American novel because he never had any great American experiences. He never fought real Nazis, or traveled to Africa, or made love to exotic women. Because he had no idea how to be fearless as a man, he couldn’t live a life adventurous enough to write a book.

He fears death. And it’s the fear of death that keeps us from living.

I told him that, and we haven’t been friends since.

Getting a girl’s number doesn’t mean crap. It means absolutely nothing.

You need to focus on something else entirely.

If you’re focused on getting her IG, Snap, WhatsApp, phone number… you’re doing it wrong.

I promise.

This is what you need to focus on.

If you can future project, you can lead a woman to imagine you as a part of her future. This is no mythical trick -- it only takes words to do.

One of your prime objectives with a new woman is to have her think of you in a different way from how she thinks of other men. Most men to her are nameless, faceless strangers. Even if they're attractive, if she feels no connection to them, they'll struggle with her.

Yet once a woman feels a connection with you, and envisions the possibilities with you, it changes. She won't dismiss you out of hand. She'll consider what you say to her. She opens up to your suggestions.

One tactic to 'fast track' women envisioning themselves with you is future projection. To project something is to push it out and paint a picture of it. When you future project, you paint a picture of the future.

Paint a good-enough picture, and a gal can start to feel like the two of you are already close to something like boyfriend and girlfriend... even if you've only just met.

Want to get good with women but think you’re not the right ‘type’ for it? Here are the most common traits I see in the best pickup artists I know. This may surprise you.

I want to clear up some misconceptions about learning game — primarily what sorts of guys succeed with pickup versus those who don’t.

In my humble opinion, a master at pickup is simply someone willing to face rejection more than the average man. He can approach more women in a week than most do in a year.

My opinion may not represent the rest of Girls Chase, as some of the guys may have different viewpoints. And if there are differences of opinion, I think they may stem from the fact that we all have different styles, which have been developed based on our strengths.

Not every pickup artist has the same strengths; therefore, we all have different styles that suit us best.

So of course there are exceptions, because there are many nuanced factors involved in learning game, and the path isn’t the same (nor can it be) for every guy.

Also, you don't have to have these traits to do 'well' with pickup, nor must you go through what I did to do 'well' with pickup. But guys who tend to do REALLY, REALLY well — as in coach level good — usually have a few common traits. I'll list them below, and if you don't have these traits but want to acquire or develop them as motivation, or if you'd like to gain the benefits they provide, I'll provide solutions to help you out.