In my article on how to take girls off their “scripts” (i.e., having them abandon whatever they’re doing or trying to do, and have them come be with you on your terms instead), a reader commented on a point of confusion:
“Moreover, you’ve even written an entire article on “disqualifying yourself as a boyfriend”. But in this [article on taking girls off their scripts], you suggest that its best to make clear what you actually want (even if that is to be her boyfriend).”
I understand his confusion. I should stress before we proceed that a big part of my approach with girls is to be inscrutable: I throw off conflicting signals so a girl can’t nail me down. Just when she thinks I’m a hookup-only guy, I ooze a little romance and her brain starts going crazy. “I thought this guy just wanted to hook up,” she thinks, “and yet he’s so romantic! Maybe it could be something more? What’s going on?! I can’t figure him out!”
This is the same type of mixed signaling you see characters like Simon in The Saint and Juan Antonio in Vicky Cristina Barcelona use (and that’s where I got it from, guys like this):
James Bond uses it a lot in his films. Christian Grey uses it. Every Byronic hero does, more or less. She thinks she knows what this guy is about... And then she doesn’t know what this guy is about. He’s so confusing. What is he about?
At some point, you have to let her figure out what it is you want though, and that’s the kind of ‘clarity’ I meant in the scripts article. She has to be reasonably certain that, “Okay, I think this guy wants to hook up with me,” or, “I think he wants to really date me.” The reason you want her to figure this out is because you want her to start imagining it. If before she was only in single-and-carefree mode, and you want her to be your girlfriend, she needs to think about becoming your girlfriend first.
This article is going to be about that. Or at least, some of that. Therefore, this one won’t be ideal for beginners... Since we’ll be talking about running, essentially, two kinds of game at the same time:
- One part sexy, bad boy hook up guy
- But also one part mysterious, inscrutable, romantic guy
You do not tell her you want her as more than
a fling, or even imply it with words. You want her to read between the lines with you.
You usually won’t tell her you want to hook up with her, either (unless
you’re Hector. Or Romanian).
This clarity is all implied... Which means it’s never completely clear.
And the reason you never make it completely clear?
You want her to choose you, and feel the choice is her choice.
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