The Ultimate Guide on How to Get a Girl Back

Ok my problem is a little weird, the girl I like I hardly ever see and I can never comunicate with her other than text, our relationship was going really well and I was thinking of asking her out but now she just won't answer my texts or Facebook messages.

Hi Chase,

I firstly just want to express my appreciation for this forum, not just to Chase but to everyone who has got up off their ass and done something about their girl problems and demostrated how they feel. Much respect guys! It's not easy, eh!?

So i'll try be as direct as possible here; I was with my ex gf for 4 years, lived together for 3 years. We ended as the relationship became toxic, at times quite violent, and disrespectful. The main issues were that i wanted to be single and see other girls, i also thought at the time i'd fallen out of love with her. We we're sleeping with each other on and off for 8 months after the break up. She's now in another relationship and she claims to love this guy. I've recently lost my job and been unemployed for just over a month. of course i'm at my most vulnerable now, and have had a lot of time to reflect on how i feel about her. I miss her incredibly, but i don't regret breaking up with her as we needed to split at the time. I've seen a handful of girls since the break up and none of them lasted longer than 3 months as i just became bored and uninterested. Also i haven't had the sexual compatibility with anyone since my ex (our sex was unbelievably good) i know this isn't a good thing to base your relationship on, but i do still truly love her. So the question is do i try and get her back... i mean i know now that she was good for me and that at the time she wasn't as i wanted to be somewhere else. is it too late to save my relationship or will it cause problems for her current relationship if i display i feel and possibly leave me feeling even worse if rejected? I think she still loves me and i'm confident that i can prove to her that i can make it work. My friends think its a bad idea and that i just haven't met the right girl yet after her. But i feel its something more than that.

If you could give me some advise Chase i'd be very happy.

Thank you for reading

Marc

Hi,
I’m currently facing a huge problem in my life. My gf just broke up with me the day before saying that she had lost feelings for me and it had been already a month. When i asked her what made her liked me before, she told me that if i were to ask her that question in the past, she could answer me but right now she just cant see it anymore and that the feeling is just gone. But she said that during that time she was trying to see if she would be able to gain back the feelings and was waiting to see if God would give her any signs that she should move on or stayed together with me. She also told me that she got really tired somewhere along the relationship and just couldnt hold on anymore. When she first told me that she wanted to break up, i begged for a week to be apart so that we could spend less time going out with each other in case if us going out together every single day has been the cause of this. However, after the two days of no contact with her, she told me that she felt so happy and free during that time that i wasnt with her and that all this time she felt smothered and suffocated, like she was drowning, but now she felt so free and happy. She told me that i’m a nice guy and that she liked me the most among all her ex’s but she said that the thing is that i’m just not the guy for her. She even told me to let go of her and move on and also to open my ‘windows’ for others to come in my life because she will not wait for me. I feel that part of the reason of her not being able to hold on anymore was cause of the fact that i have been restricting her too much and have been way over protective in every sense of the way. It’s been two days now since the breakup and i cant stop thinking of the moments that we spent with each other and if she even misses me. I really want to get back to her and start anew but the thing is that she said that she doesnt want it anymore during that day when i pleaded for a second chance during the breakup. What am i supposed to do now? And how do i change myself in this aspect of being over protective and possessive? What do you think the chances are for her to ever regain back her feelings for me in my current situation?
I need help !

...all I have to say is: Wow. I've read a lot of the comments on here, and I'm pretty shocked at how desperate some of you come across. Chase is NOT going to respond to your messages if you are NOT listening to the advice he has to give.

DO. NOT. CHASE.

Repeat that in your head 10 times over.

This is going to be brutal, but I am going to try to sum up for ALL of you the possible reasons your girl left you and how to have the BEST chance at getting her back:

1) She feels like you were spending too much time together.

What do you do in this scenario?

DO. NOT. CHASE.

If she is feeling like you spent too much time together, then guess what? You were probably spending too much time together. If you want to get her back, then you need to GIVE HER SPACE. Let her date other guys for awhile. Why do you do this? Other guys will either do one of two things:

a) They will ALSO spend too much time with her, thus resulting in her realizing that, if she's going to be spending a lot of time with a guy, she would AT LEAST like to have it be with you (...IF you treated her really well emotionally and sexually and she felt a strong connection to you).

b) They will not spend ENOUGH time with her, so other guys will make her feel neglected. This will ALSO result in her realizing that she would like to be spending that time with you because she at least knew you cared to be around her that often.

2) She feels like you weren't spending enough time together.

What do you do in this scenario?

DO. NOT. CHASE.

If she is feeling like you were not spending enough time together, then she is probably in a stage in her life where she needs more attention than you can provide for her. This could be because you are either really busy or because she lives far away. It does not matter. If you want to get her back, then you need to GIVE HER SPACE. Let her date other guys for awhile. Why do you do this? Other guys she dates will do either one of two things:

a) They will ALSO not spend enough time together, and IF you treated her well emotionally and sexually, she will realize that she would rather spend those few days you have available for her with you.

b) They will spend TOO MUCH time with her, and she will realize that she enjoyed that space and time that she used to have to herself when she was with you.

3) She is starting to feel sexually unsatisfied by you.

What do you do in this scenario?

DO. NOT. CHASE.

If she is feeling sexually unsatisfied by you, then it MOST LIKELY means that she has not been with many other men in her life, and she wants to explore the possibility of another man fulfilling some of her deepest sexual desires. It could also simply mean that you did not satisfy her in bed. In that case, you need to improve your skills in bed -- plain and simple. In either case, you need to GIVE HER SPACE. Let her date other guys for awhile. Why do you do this? Other guys she dates will do either one of two things:

a) They will ALSO not satisfy her deepest sexual desires in bed, and she will realize that, although she may not be able to live out her sexual fantasies, she doesn't want to lose the personal connection and bonding she had with you.

b) They will fulfill her sexual fantasies as a LOVER, but they will not be her FRIEND or maintain the qualities of a PROVIDER. She will start to feel neglected by them and realize that living out her sexual fantasies only gives her temporary, but short-lived pleasure. This will make her miss you.

What is the common theme among these three reasons? If you DO NOT CHASE, you give your girl an opportunity to miss you and the things that made her want to be your girlfriend in the first place. If you are always there and constantly (trying to be) in contact with her, she will have nothing to miss about you, and she can freely date other men until the end of time knowing that you will always be there as her "back-up" option. By that time, I can guarantee you she will have met someone else.

Please heed this advice gentlemen. And while you are NOT contacting her so that she can begin to miss the shit out of you, go out and date other women so you can make yourself an even better man and improve on the qualities that she felt like you were lacking. If you do that, she will DEFINITELY not want to leave you the next time she has a chance to be with you.

Just my two cents.

- Franco

I had a girl that I though i could have if i was patient, i was wrong. I started to lose her slowly and then i slipped and now it's like we're enemies. I want her back but i don't know what to do. I tend to give her small hints that i still like her, but she ignores them every time. Now i'm in a position were it's a unknown spot.(i'm half way between friends and strangers) So can you please tell me some advice to get her back. :) thanks

I have same problem,i know this girl for a year now (long time i know), and i cannot say it in words how im mad on myself for not move fast, she went cold on me now i thing or she is in "auto-rejection". We did flirt,and i took her on date and couple of drinks,but so far i made it till hugz only:( (wasnt strong enough for more like a kiss,or bed time...)). So i found this page and i decided to give her some space before i contact her again,cuz i have a felling she is getting annoyed by me(alot of disinterest on last drink i had with her)
But now i wonder how long shoud i leave her alone (not contact her,so far its been 3 weeks)and what to write when i decide to contact her again(an example of an text woud be nice here)?or shoud i just leave it until she contact me first (wich will prolly never happend)?
tnx for all advices in advance and sry for my bad english:)

I know this girl for a year now, she seemed interested in me at start but as many ppl do that mistake i made it to by moving to slow and i cant describe in words how mad i am on myself for not move faster, because the girl went cold on me (she still writes back if i text her but text are short en she only gives answers nothing more, plus a lot of disinterest on last drink we had). We did flirt, we went on a date and couple of drinks later, but i think i am loosing her slowly. so i found this blog and decide that i will give her some space and not contact her (has been 3 weeks now). My question is for how long should i not contact her (was planing to text her after 1 month or something), or should i just wait until she contacts me first (witch will probably newer happen:()? An chase can u give an example of what shout text look like, just to have a small template of what to write so i don't write some stupidity again?

Thanks for all suggestions in advance, this site is epic,wish i could find it faster:(and sry for my English.

Girls are indeed unpredictable.. They dump you for no reason, and sometimes you just no idea what did you do to make her love fade away for you. Well, I'm a girl, and I sometimes regret why I dumped a guy and wished they will ever come back. Man, she's definitely waiting for you.. :)

I read this artical and i still dont know if theres anything i can do to get her back, but heres the story. Im 18 and shes 17 and we both met 7 months ago, i was her first love and she was my first kiss, we are both young in relationships but our love was real. We didnt have sex because her mom wouldnt let her have birth control so we are both still virgins and not to mention her parents are crazy strict but i never once pressured her about sex. I realize now that I didnt know how to act around her sometimes and id treat her like one of my guy friends and she left me because i insaulted her i think but i never meant too, i just didnt know what i was doing til now. Anyway she wanted earrings for 6 months and i gave her the ones she wanted and she never gave me anything in return, money didnt matter, i just wanted a bracelet or something but a week later she went of to camp for a week then she came back a week after that and broke up with me. She said she had time to think and she thought a lot. I waited a week to talk to her again but i never see her so i texted her and i tryed getting her back but she said she couldnt go back and give me another chance. i just dont get it. We were havinging so much fun together before she went off to camp. Anyway it gets worse... I was pissed i couldnt get her back so i said stuff on twitter that i deeply regret.. nothing too bad but it was about her and now she pretty much hates me. Its been 2 weeks since then and we havent talked or seen each other. I know you guys might say it was puppy love and to just move on but we really loved each other and she was the only girl that caught my eye ever. We were the most popular in school and everyone knew we were in love. She says shes happy now on her twitter and stuff but i know shes not as happy. im just pissed i had to learn after we broke up that i was the reason for every fight when I thought i was doing no wrong. Now ive tryed getting and flirting with other girls and its fun but i keep turning these girls down because these girls are nothing compared to her. And im not the type of guy to just have sex, i need to be in love with them first.

Id love it if anyone could help!

-Joe

Can someone please help me!!! I love my girlfriend but she dosnt trust me anymore... She never sticks up for me infront of her friends and I got mad so I was thinking of breaking up with her and asked a friend what to do well I was thinking if breaking up with her and she saw the message on my phone and I don't know what to do so please help me I rely love her!!!

Hey Chase and everybody else on here,

So short and sweet: I messed up. Love the advice on here, but not entirely sure how I should go about my situation. I found Chase's site and this blog unfortunately AFTER I started chasing. Chasing = ignoring. Ignoring = unhappy Mike = chasing more. I caught myself and stopped though. Originally we were planning on attempting to go out Wednesday. I'm not worried about that so much as I just want to get things back on track with her. I haven't talked to or messaged her since yesterday (when the ignoring started), and I plan on keeping it that way for a bit longer. The question is, how long until I should (SAFELY) enter back into her life and playing the game to my tip-top abilities?

Any and all advice is GREATLY appreciated, and thank you to everybody ahead of time.

I have just been in a relationship for almost 3 years. We were highschool sweethearts. I was in grade 12 when she was in grade 10 and I saw her the first day and knew I wanted to be with her. I was known as the player and I flirted a lot but she helped me change that bad quality in me. Her feelings would get hurt, and I had to be mature enough to respect her feelings. I slipped up occasionally but I knew I wanted to try harder and harder. We didn't always make love because we didn't want our relationship to rely on it, and it hurt her sometimes to do it. I was completely okay with this because I love her. The years went on and we worked on our relationship, and grew up together and matured. Just two weeks ago she said she wanted to be single and to know what freedom was like. She liked the feeling of another guy flirting with her and making her feel wanted. I really am in love with her and was ready to ask her to marry me. She is asking for time and space and maybe someday in the future we will get back together. I have faith in that but also doubts. She is moving to Halifax in Canada. She will be three hours away in a different province, I want to win her heart back and get her to love me again, because I know that I love her and want to spend the rest of my life together. She is going to university and I want to make sure I am in her heart. Please help me.

Hi Chase,

I realise this space is crammed with guys all asking similar things ;) My connundrum is basically that I read your fantastic advice, but I don't know whether to make her jealous or not...
I think I was: 3. made it too easy.

This girl I'm crazy for was initially crazy about me. I wasn't really bothered, as at the time I was pursuing other girls... She kept smiling at me, catching my eye, trying to talk to me all the time, so I chatted with her, got her number. Went on a couple dates, realised how awesome she was (incomparably better than the other girls I was after) But then as soon as I started caring I guess I changed the way I behaved and she stopped being as keen on me as in the beginning.

I did kiss her on the 3rd date (cos I read your advice about not being slow & tentative!) but I know now I made it too heavy & emotional. We spent a long time together that day & it was cool & she didn't seem to want to leave, but I was a bit awkward by the end as I felt pressured to say stuff about how much I like her, but she said it made her feel awkward... and I agree it was too much. I don't know her well enough anyway, I guess I just thought I had to say something along those lines, which is stupid, I know.
Since then i met her for lunch (she chose lunch instead of dinner - bad!) and i kissed and hugged her again, we text each other almost every day, but she is never available when i try to set up a date.

I hope I didn't screw up too bad yet but I can tell it is going downhill like a lot of other times, when I didn't care much about some girl she was crazy about me, then when I really liked her she stopped bothering to reply or meet up. I need to play it cool but it's counter-intuitive.

Should I wait for her to suggest meeting up again, or should I try again in like a week or so, but in a cool way?
Btw I have already tried setting up dates with those other girls I was seeing before, but they are not available either on the day I'm free! One of them knows the girl I really like, I'm not sure if it's a wise idea to try dating her or not...

Thanks, man, and thanks for the great articles! :)

I'm Dave 25 years old. There was this girl whom I liked very very much since I was in highschool. I was always bullied by her friends back then and for one time I tried to get back at them, I seriously injured one of her friends who bullied me that got me suspended and was forced to transfer school the following year.

7 years later, we met up again. We chatted a lot and I was surprised that we get along pretty well. I found out that her interests are almost the same as mine. As I call it she is the female version of me. Months of courting her are failures and everytime I ask her to be my girlfriend, she thinks of it as a joke. And for one last attempt I tried to make a bet that I'll surely win and the prize is that we will be officially a couple. But then again she thought I was joking. I was really depressed and this girl from my game club started to be friendly with me. To make her jealous I went out with that girl and unfortunately we became a couple.

Later on, the girl started to avoid me I don't why at first but I knew later that she really had feelings for me after all. So I again tried to talk to her but this time it worked. The problem is that I'm still with the game girl. So we devised a plan that the moment game girl asked to break up, I will do so immediately to be with the girl I really liked. Unfortunately I joined this party and I don't really drink (and I can't remember why I decided to) but that time I did.

Something happened between me and game girl and I got her pregnant. It became to complicated that moment on and I can't bring myself to tell to this girl what happened. All I just told her is that I'm still trying to break up with her (which I really do, I know its bad) but that didn't happen.

After a month game girl found out about our plan and texted the girl I liked that we already have a baby coming to my horror. And as you guessed it, I've hurt the girl I loved so much. I've heard that she has a boyfriend now but me on the otherhand is still hoping to be with her. To make things worst her friends hates me twice as more.

It's been a year since that fiasco and I really do miss here and still feel the same way for her and this is killing me because I'm afraid at everything. I haven't contacted her in anyway since then. But I'm planning to do so but I'm scared that everything is lost now.

I really do want to be with her still.

So I met an amazing and wonderful woman, hit it off from the start, physical attraction, emotional connection etc.. hit it off amazingly.. didn't spend too much time together but it was amazing... A few weeks into it I was at her house and we were having a few beers and we went with a couple of her friends to go see fireworks. I did a shot before we left, had a strong mixed drink at a bar before we walked to a spot where we could watch... I was pretty tanked (being on blood thinners didn't help) and ended walking back to my truck leaving her with her friends. I didn't leave in my truck..well, let's just say she was furious, said it was over.. said she had never had anyone leave her before and it reminded her if her past and being drama so soon into the relationship.. its been 4 days and I haven't seen her since, talked a couple times.. said she misses me but not sure if its permanently over... I want this girl back!!!!!!!!! I know from the advice I should give her time but should I not contact her at all or how long do I wait?? Any advice would be appreciated..

There's this girl I met about 10 months ago in the beginning she was nice sweet cute loving caring and so many other good ways to describe her she always there for me she would spend her whole day with me then I discovered she had strings of relationships she was keeping over time but just spent time with me because she wanted to stay off them for a while and at a point she started being rude manipulative controlling and dominating we were always fighting cos I get jealous over her easily and I insult her every time I find out she has cheated on me of recent I confronted her as to where the relationship is heading towards and she was like she is not ready for a serious relationship now that she is still busy playing around with other guys so I told her that we should be friends and that I will need some space if that is the case and ever since she has been ignoring me I even tried running after her but she just looked to the other side when I called her how should I resolve the matter?I still like her but I can't handle her ways please reply to my email I really need help

My wife one fine day said i dont have feelings for you anymore,and she went to live with her mum along with my kids, this happenned over 2 yrs ago, but i still want her, i tried all my best but it was all in vain, i almost phone her eeveryday,is there a way to get her back? Someone has gone tru something like this?

me and my girl split up, she needs her time to be independent i know this. i know what she needs to do. but at the same time she could have done it while still being with me. she says i don't want to be in a relationship right now, if i did and when i do i'd want it to be with you. yet she is distant now and bam just friends. i don't get it everything was great no problems at all we rarely fought. sometimes i think she scared herself when she was telling me that i was the one and all that stuff. we were together litterally everyday for 8 months 24/7 and i know that is one thing that took a toll. we need our space yes. so i give her, her space and distance i don't call or text to give her that chance to miss me. yet everyday she contacts me somehow in someway. now it's just i need you there as a friend right now. man it is hard. it confuses me cuz she'll come close and tell me sweet things, then she'll pull away completely. i'm not trying to chase her i'm trying to get her to miss me. if i don't call or text and i think this is the first day we haven't feels ok, then she'll call. oh i do want her back and i do want to hold on. it is tough i know how she always jumped from relationship to relationship, she claims she doesn't wanna do that. yet i can't help but see it. i know we got together way to fast too. right immediatly after we broke up with our ex's. we never got the time to become friends and get to know each other better we just kinda jumped into it. i dunno what to do. she has tons of other things going on and it all overwhelms her and all i can do is sit back and not get involved. yet i feel if i do get involved it'll push her away. what do you think i should do?

josh

met this girl about a year and a half ago. went out a few times.. had strong feelings for her then so i ran off. she then starts dating then gets engaged to another guy. we start talking again.. she calls me when they would fight etc... she calls off the wedding and says she wants something with me. i was in love with this girl from the beginning but scared. now she let me know how she felt. we talked (long distance im in ms, shes in tx) for a cpl months. guess i started comin on too strong. we started arguing and eventually, after a heated debate, to say the least, stopped talking. about 5 days later, today, she texts me talking abt how she misses me and she wants to be friends. never had feelings like this for a girl so i want to get her back.. what can i do?

i dated my ex for a lil over 5 months. not too long. i know, right? but when you know, you know. i honestly dont know the real reason behind the break up, but this is what she said, "i need a little time apart right now, i have so much going on right now with school and work, it wasnt you at all. its just me, im weird. i cant do a relationship right now." with that being said, after the break up all she talked about was that she still wanted to be a part of my life and still wanted to hangout and get dinner every once in a while. she would even sometimes flirt with me at work (grabbing my butt and snoop through my phone while im texting someone). now...its like i dont exist. its almost like the relationship never even happened. worst part is..i work with her. she passes me all the time without looking at me, says goodbye when im leaving work before she does. what gets me, during the relationship, all she talked about was how happy she was and how much she loved me and how our future was going to be like. at this point idk what to do anymore and how to salvage whats left. i may have screwed up by texting her all the time bringing up th past and why we broke up and how much i miss her. i know im supposed to give her space but how much space are we talking about? everyone says, everything will be alright and just give her time alone. but everyday i see her beautiful face at work, its...painful. cuz when i look at her, im looking at what used to be....ive been in relationships before, a few actually. but never have i ever loved someone so dearly as i do now. what do i do? move on? date other ppl? everytime im looking at someone else, im thinking of her....need less to say, i havent talked to her in a few days. i left work the other night without saying goodbye. i want her back more then ever, but is it even worth it at this point?

please i need your advice.. my ex-girlfriend.. she broke up with me 6months ago.. we were in a relationship for just 7 months... but i really like her a lot.. and i need to get her back.. the problem was.. when we were kissing.. we came too close.. something bad happened.. actually we live in a very conservative society.. her in INDIA.. so.. she was annoyed by this.. but this was.. not intentional.. and then.. after sometime.. her ex-came back just as friend.. but i was really upset with it.. and the misunderstandings between us took a disastrous shape.. and she broke up.. i tried a lot to get her back but i was not able to.. we fought a lot over this..but she didnt give a damn.. please tell me what should i do.. ~shubham jain..

i had a girlfriend. i was being nice to her. now i know that shes playing games and having a go at me.one day after she loves me, she breaks up with me. over and over again. shes done that 6 times now. so i insulted her. i know its harsh, she was hot. but she aint right. how do i get another one. i have nobody in me class that loves me. im a year 4 in durack ps in the northern territory. please help!!!!!! :D)

my ex gf came to me two and a half weeks ago and said she wanted to split up, I realised it was because of a reason you stated being an ass. I didn't text her or keep in contact over this period and after I came back from a festival on monday she text me asking how the festival was and she text me untill the conversation ended naturally on tuesday night. I just wondered if you had any advice on what I should do next?

Dear Chase

I have read all of your blogs but never left you a comment until now. I have a serious issue and it really bites..

I am deeply devoted to saving my "sunken ship" as you call it.. i went out with this girl six years ago and to this day i have dreams about her every day, i broke her heart completely on accident and she will not under any circumstances forgive me, i didnt cheat on her or anything like that, she kinda lied to me about her age and the next thing i knew there i was standing in the rain alone, so basically all i want to know is if you have any advice for a guy like me who would rather tear his heart out and mail it to the person i love than to see her shed another tear, ive always been good with women but im stranded marooned even. i see her every damn day and we lock eyes she looks away from me and i try so hard to have her talk to me ive done it all every approach i can think of, was thinking of standing outside her work with a boquet and waiting in the rain again, for this girl id wait forever man...anyways if you have a second to blog something about this id be greatful peace.

Hi Chase,

Wonderful sight. I have been following the pickup world for some time now, and have done a pretty decent job with women since, enough to make me feel good at least, since I couldn't score much until I started reading about this stuff about 6 years ago.

However, I must confess that I have always truly preferred being in relationships (I was married for 10 years before our divorce).

Here is what I really need your help with please:

I met this really beautiful young lady when I was 43years old (she was 22) and she got with me after her boyfriend went elsewhere to work, far away. I always wanted her, even when she was with him, and when he left the opportunity came and she accepted my advances. It has been two years since that glorious time, and since then I pushed for her to break up with him completely, which hurt him a lot.
Problem is, that I was always very insecure about being able to keep a woman. I don't know, maybe stuff from girls rejecting me in childhood, and/or the fact that I was able to bed girls who had boyfriends(it caused me to distrust so-called relationships). So for two years I have been watching her like a hawk and trying to "protect" our relationship. We had many fights about this, but she always told me she was learning from the discussions from the fights and that if it (my jealousy or strictness) became a serious problem she would let me know - about my insecurities and the restrictions I placed on her "for the relationship".

Then out of the blue, while we were on vacation in separate parts of the world, she skyped me and dropped the bomb-- "I don't feel that way about you anymore. I still love you, but I don't want a boyfriend anymore. I'll still work with you, but it's over".

We work together, as salespeople for a fairly exclusive company, and actually this is how we have stayed together - I live in NY and she lives in Europe, but we work together much of the year, then split for vacation.

Well, you can imagine the shock I went through. I still love this woman, I still fall in love with her with just a one second glimpse of her. I try to follow all the guidelines for being with women and getting her back, and I have acknowledged how I messed things up, but I am due to work with her again shortly (we are an A team, and splitting the team would almost mean certain financial suicide for us at this stage, for now) for at least one more year. We both want to work together.

Anyway, we are on vacation, and I have been keeping the distance and we chat for a second or two over Skype, if business comes up, then I run off the phone as fast as possible, although I would LOVE to just keep talking to her as well.

Here is why it's worrying me: I found out that she had been communicating with her ex, before she broke up with me. She claims it did not influence her, but we recently had a project that took us to his side of the world and although she was staying with me, she went to see him every single night at his job after our shifts were over. My goodness. I never felt so much emotional pain in my life Chase! And during all this she was lovingly expressing to me how sorry she was , but that she needed another energy, and nothing was going to stop her. He is very popular, a dj, and never restricted her, but guess what? He has grown up since she hurt him. And now SHE is chasing HIM! Bad for me, really bad...

They are apart now (again, like before), but she has admitted that she wants to see what happens between her and him, if he ever gives her the time of day she wants, but it is driving her crazy. Plus, she still wants to keep in touch with me in the same way we always were, without the intimacy. In essence, very very good friends... i guess?

I'm so confused. When I go to work with her, how in heaven's name am I supposed to turn off my emotions for her. What am I going to do when I see her talking to other guys (she told me she is young and I can't expect her to still be exclusive to protect my feelings...that she may miss out on someone special). I am also disappointed in her. I was wild when she met me, and I dropped everyone, and when I say I loved her, I mean I really fell in love with her every morning that I woke up beside her.

I do want her back, sad to say perhaps. I respect her in many ways, and I really do care about her. She has recently confessed and apologized that she read some books and realizes that she didn't treat me as good as she thought she was (she had complained that I made her feel her best wasn't good enough), and that she put herself out there for men to approach her too much (she does have a very strong sensual energy, even when she isn't putting it out there).

i could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. She still seems to want to be around me, but that's not enough for me, and I have NO CLUE as to how to truly turn the tables back (but I believe in my heart that it is possible). We were even starting to play around with thoughts of marriage (something we both shied away from initially), can you believe that?

Please just tell me what you see. I never write on these forums, but your forum seems and feels different from all the rest, so here I am, asking for your help please.

Thanks Chase.
Dan D

my girl is running and i messed up big style

i love her to bits but i keep pushing her away, i get jelouse when she goes out with her friends, i know she is bi sexual but she started telling another girl she loved her and i never got to grips with that, we keep trying to make things work but we keep arhuing, lastnight hit rock bottom and it turned to violence, i really thing this is the end but i dont want it to be, i know she thinks i dont care about her or love her but it cudn be further from the truth, i am the way i am because i lover her so much and i no i show it in the wrong way but even showing it in the right way dont work, she keeps me a secret because she has a kid with her ex(kid lives with him) she is scared if he finds out she will lose the kid but i cant be a secret we cant really go out her mates always drag her out cos they think she is free and single and all try it on with her and most of me feels like i am a secret because she is ashamed of me or because it will be easy to getsomeone better if they think she aint taken, i proposed to this girl to make her see i am commited and there for her but she just thinks we were dead months ago and i cant change her mind and as a result she never wants to spent time with me or when she does she is never off her fone, i have tried my best to make this work and now am out of ideas and cud really use ur help???

Read everything chase put down and cool off for a bit trust me you wont get her back chasing or thinking about her it just makes it harder for you. If you love her and want her back you need to not be all about her and get some time a part. If she loved you she will come back to you in the end just gotta let things go.

I find a good way to keep girls coming back is to remind them once a month with 1 or 2 texts that your alive still that will remind them of you and the good times. after sometime you dont chase her and she is cooled down about you. When you text her at a good time you have a chance she will she will start to open up if you had a good relationship you may be able to get her back. This will only work if you are over your emotions and such to make a come back. What chase teaches!

nice one for the advice chase if this works i bloody owe you 1 :)

I have been in love with this girl for 2 years and have never stopped thinking about her even my babys mother i have never felt like this with.

i really do hope this works though im gonna try all your tips.

Hi Guys,
I started flirting with her, she responded. I started liking her, she too started liking me. Things went li'l fast, spending 5-6hrs a day chatting/talking over phone. All this happened within a month. I thought, she was too deep into me so I rejected her telling we might not be compatible as life partners fudging me up some excuses. She being very egoistic, didn't show her hurt of being rejected but suddenly came up with a drama where she tells me that she is rejecting me?!! But soon after I left the place, I realized I love her infinitely!! I went back and said I want to be with her forever and she tell me I missed her already that morning?? Since then, I have asked sorry several times, sought forgiveness for bruising her ego and wrote a mail expressing she means a world to me. Things went from bad to worse because of all this:( After a gap of no communication, I sent several text messages for 10min meet, shockingly she got her dad call me and warn me that I would be wiped out if I pursue her. That he would make my life miserable. She shattered my dignity and self-respect man, but still I love her, unable to forget her. We are in the same office, thats more hurting? Is it possible to get her back, will she ever realize how much I love her. Can i try your tools...

Please help me.

Hey I really need your help bro!!!

I'm in high school and I really like this girl. I started to like her at the beginning of the summer and still do. So I liked her the entire summer and we hung out a lot and became really good friends and was very flirty with me. I was planning on asking her out shortly after school started but I then found out that she had just broken up with her boy friend Erich who had cheated on her so I thought I would give her some time and wait until homecoming. Well another guy beat me through it and I knew that their relationship wouldn't last very long and I thought I could wait. But she noticed that I had been pretty sad so she asked me what was wrong and I told her everything. She felt really bad for me. And a few weeks went by and they were still going out. And this past weekend I just really needed to talk to her about how I feel. And it turned out that she liked me the entire time I liked her but she thought that I didn't like her and that's why she went out with Erich in the summer and recently Ryan. She said that her boyfriend was mad at her for always being with me and that he was starting to be kinda mean to her. So she broke up with him and said that she wanted to go out with
me. And we had about two days of conversations about how we liked each other and we sent each other pictures. Well yesterday she said that she was a little confused about her feelings and just needed some time to think. And I said that I understood and respected that. Well then today I find out that her ex Erich wants to get back to gethet with her and she thinks that she's gona do it. And that we probably will not go out.
How do I get her to like me again? Like were still really good friends it's just I don't know what happene. Similar situations have happened to me be for so I must be doing something wrong. It can't be that she thinks I'm " too easy" because she didn't know I liked her untill this past weekend. Can u tell me what I did wrong? Or atleast tell me how to get her to like me again? She said that she really liked me. I just really need her back. I really need her back bro!!!

Thank you,
Jake

Hi Chase
I was wondering if you'd be able to put me in the right direction on what to do, here's my situation, i really liked this girl and started to fall in love with her and then i got put in the friend zone for not saying so, and i fell completely in love with her, i just loved being around her she made me happy even if we were just sitting there smiling at each other, then i started making it a bit more obvious my feeling for her and she responded okay and by that i mean we were just texting and on the phone alot and our conversations got a bit more sexual but i still never suggested anything, and then one day i got really really really stoned at a park with me all my friends and a few of hers and i had my arm around her and we were holding each other and we ended up making out three or four times that day and we were fine still texting and calling each other and what not, and then she just called me and said she basically didn't want to be together, i said "Okay". We didn't talk for a very long time and just recently we started talking again and i don't know what i could say to get her to respond as well as she did before and keep things going, when we text now she seems cold and distant and im the only one keeping the conversation going, in person though i seem to get a good response when i ask questions but seem like im doing something else while shes telling me or like im not focused on her, she makes more eye contact and gets closer to me. Any suggestions?

okay your page was very heplful but i need some more info. Oksy i have been datin this girl for a year and everything was great, we have been intimate through it all and we were doin great. We had our problems but who didnt. Here recently she dumped me bc she said her feelings change. What does that mean? What can I do to change it? How can I change her feelings and show her that im not like other guys?!

Great great great article. It's amazing when you read it knowing you had the right tools to be a boyfriend when you actually didn't have the complete set.
But in this whole article (and comments) I didn't read nothing about getting a girl back "with a babyin the picture already. My girlfriend broke up with metwomonthsago andhere's why:
We were a couple for two years and everything was going perfect, I knew she was the one for me, even though I was scared in the beginning because we do have a big age difference, I'm 31, she's 21. But my faith kept me going and being a gentleman that I am, I should know what's right and what's wrong (from my experience) then our little tiny arguments started, it probably was once a month, sometimes we would last up to three months without an argument, but they kept getting bigger and bigger. When we make up, she always said we never resolve our problems. We had our baby girl and at that moment, seeing the birth at first hand, i knew that I will spend the rest of my life with this woman. She was so brilliant during labor, I never saw that this would change my life forever until that moment. I love my daughter very much and we are very good parents. Arguments continued after two months of her giving birth, actually, she was fighting with me more than ever, and she seemed depressed all the time, mostly because since she's been very fit physically, she was very depressed of what the pregnancy has done to her body. I would always encouraged her on everything, I would always be positive motivator on her depression, until she didn't want to hear it anymore. She suggested couple's therapy, which I was willing to do, but she stopped going after three visits. The depression continued and I mentioned that mabe was postpartum depression. she felt insulted and I never mentioned it again. I always used this strategy of "forget it happened and move forward" but she never did, she kept them all inside until.......
Until three months ago, we were sitting on the sofa watching TV, like regular couples do and I asked her, "Are you happy?" she replied with " No", I told her that I was willing to do whatever it takes to make things right, for the sake of not only us, but for the baby. She replied she needed some space. I was hurt, I didn't know what to do, my mind was going all kinds of direction, and the first thing any man "naturally" would think is "she found someone else". But I didn't want to think that way, not yet, I knew I loved this girl very much that I should do what's she's requesting. I told her I didn't have no where to go though, she said that I can sleep in the guest room until I do find somewhere to stay. Staying in the guest room is not giving her space whatsoever. So one week passed, and I tried talking to her, she still needed some time apart, then I found a guy from work that offered for me to stay as much as I needed. So I did. But three days later, I missed my daughter every single day without her, I missed my girlfriend, I was going crazy without them. Then came what has me here writing this loooong plead for help letter.
Like I said I went crazy. Crazy to the point where I was in begging-mode, I could live another day without them, and I know I had to do whatever it takes but I wanted to work them out together, but then it hit me, the age difference hit me right away, shes hasn't had any experience in relationships, when on the other hand, I had. But the begging continued for about four days. That was three months ago. In that same week, I asked my girlfriend I didn't want to stay at the guy's house no more, to let me stay there for 4 days until I go on a trip, I just needed to get away, visit my family, give her REAL space, she said yeah. The next day after she said yeah, my pervert side of me decided to put a hidden camera in her bedroom, when she later found it and felt scared now. Trust me, I regret that for the rest of my life, I didn't know what I was doing, I just missed her and..... I don't know why I did it, but this led to a Temporary Restraining Order against me telling me that I needed some psychological help, she told me that she loved me very much and she was doing all this for I can get better, that I wasn't ok, and she felt scared for the safety of our daughter. During the next month I turned myself fully to God. He was my only savior in my hurt, in my pain, in my recovery. I did ended up getting evaluated through mental health through psychologist, and groups.
A month passed, the court hearing came, and she decided to extend the TRO, I was hurt, but at the same time, I wanted her to feel safe, and I just wanted her to be happy, that's all it mattered to me until this point, continued my guide from God, and the groups, I have my own apartment, but I feel very lonely, I don't want to meet other girls, I don't want to go out on dates, and most important, I don't want to bring some other girl in my daughter's life. She recently dropped the TRO and I had the chance to speak to here face-to-face for the first time since the incident. We talked about the visitations schedule. but I did told her how deeply sorry I was, and I just wanted her to forgive me, I wasn't asking her to take me back, but I did told her how much I loved her and I wanted her to be happy, she was crying the whole time I was talking. She at the end mentioned that I needed to respect her space, her privacy, and don't be showing up at her house unexpected. I agreed. She did say that she wanted to move forward and she wanted to meet other people, start going out again. I agreed, but that little feeling inside telling me NOOOO! Take me back, of course I didn't say that, but the feeling was there.
So after all this boring comment, my question is, Ho Do I Get My Baby-Momma Back?

thank you for reading this and all responses are welcomed, negative, or positive. I'm always prepared to her the truth, even if it might hurt.

Chase please help me out!
Well me and my now ex girlfriend officially broke up two days ago because i was not getting the attention i had previously gotten from her earlier in our relationship and she said she felt things were getting worse and worse. I am 21 and she is 18 and in a few months she is transferring to a university a couple hours from here and i dont know if i can really trust her but she believes we can be together then. Well it started about a month and a half ago when her mom caught us in the act of having sex in her house and her mom is one of the most controlling people i have ever met in my life, but she is a single parent so i kind of understand, but the reason i fear we cant be together when she goes to school is because she hasn't really been free from her mom yet and she can do whatever she wants when she leaves. I love her so much and this was the second time i broke up with her, but the first time she cried and i gave in and called her back. :/This was just 3 days before we officially broke up. After the incident of her mom finding out we had sex, her whole attitude changed like she really did not care at times. she rarely called anymore and would text me back about an hour or so later at times and its really frustrating because i knew she wasn't busy at the time and i felt ignored and i got mad a few times for her neglecting me during this time when we really should be there for each other. One day she sent me a text saying "she just needed time because everything that happened was taking a toll on her and not to mention her mom wasnt making it any better by telling her whole family and the pastor what happened." This was after i got upset with her for sending my short side text. I honestly wanted this young lady to be my wife in the future and now i feel like things are at a end. she sent me a text saying "im sorry i mess everything up:/"
i was upset and said "if your mom wont accept us now, what makes you think she'll accept us in the future" following by another text saying " as long as your mom controls what you do and you follow your every word, we can't be together. we can't even live together let alone get married. if your truly want to be with me then you'll eventually have to talk to her,but you dont have worry about me for awhile."

she says she knows i cared and she's sorry and she still believes in us, but i put us down because of what happened.
Did i come away too strong? i miss her so much already, but im trying to occupy myself with two jobs, school and working out. I hope somehow she sees im making changes in my life to be with her. We don't have any kind of contact besides our phones and she hasnt text back after that last message and i have not called or text her since then either. chase what should i do? i think i cared too much..

hi chase
here's the situation, last week my friend met someone on a dating site and he was telling us about this dating site among friends and they decided to bet on who can get more girls to write to them through the dating site.
So me, being in an active relationship for 3 years and an idiot, went on the site cause didnt want to look like an idiot in front of my friends. The next days i get messages from different girls. Little did i know that my girlfriends had some friends on that site and she ended up finding out. She kept it from me for a couple days to see if i was going to admit it to her until she dropped the bomb on me 4 days after she found out. She came to see me and told me that she was leaving me and that she knew everything.
I know it was my fault and i was selfish. Now i want to get her back and prove to her that she can trust me but i dont know what to do. My instinct is to chase her but i know that wont do any good. We never had problems in our relationship and i want to do everything i can to get her back and keep her. She is the love of my life and i messed it up. Any suggestions?

thanks

I kicked my girlfriend out of my apartment because she scratched my car and took away the $400 eye glasses I bought. And all the sudden she went back to her country and only called me once during the past 2 months. I did my best and I begged to marry her but she did not respond ....only said I will think over all again and it's been month long not even a call again. I'm sure she will come back to this country because she's applying her parent to the U.S., the day she left my apartment she never said broken up but let's separated for while. What can I do now? she doesn't give me her number in other country so it's only her to reach me.

I'm 27yo and 1 month ago I've met this 25yo girl from a town about 1-hour drive.
The bond was instant. We could talk for hours and get along real great. We dated about 4 dates, never slept together (she told be to take it slow). Then, a lot of pressure from the university started, and she said that she wanted to be friends as she can't handle everything all together, not speaking of the long distance relationship that she can't put "all of herself" into.
She wanted to be friends, but I panicked, refusing to that, saying that I can't be friends with someone I have feelings for, and that's about it.
It's in the air that as long as this semester isn't over, there couldn't be anything between us.
The semester ends in 2 months. I really dig this girl and really think we are meant to be together.

I'd really appreciate any wisdom words from anyone kind enough to put himself into my shoes :/

I'm honestly completely out of options and even I know i should get over her but i just can't and i don't know what to do anymore. I'll first start this by saying im in high school so some stuff will be different from if i was older. So basically i've liked her for over a year bascically since the first timei met her. I started talking to her and gettking to know her. I eventually told her i liked her and she liked another guy at the time but i got her over that guy. It was summer and she goes away and while she was gone i heard some other guy kissed her but she didnt kiss back because she said she liked me. Anyways she came back and things were pretty good. Shes the kind of nice girl who you dont just hook up with but shes a long-term kind of girl. So the whole "just get her in bed" isn't an option. Anyways so eventually me and her went out on a date and we had tons of fun and we kissed. It wasnt a regular kiss for me because i've went out with quite a bit of girls and i've kissed alot but with her it was special and since that day i've loved her. Probably like two weeks after i asked her to be my girlfrtiend she said ya and then a week later she broke up with me. We hardly hung out when we were going out, and she didnt have time and when she did she'd be with friends. Her friends are the type who will just make it hard for you to stay. Now i still like her and i recently found out she likes another guy. She also said she just wants to be friends and that she was never totally sure of her feelings. Im still crazy for her and i have absolutely no clue on what to do but i cant move on either. I really need some advice and i hope you know how i could possibly turn things around.
-Brendan

Hi Chase,

Let me just start off by saying this is a great article! Explanations were awesome. I will give you a very quick summary. I have this girl, we've been friends for 4 and a half years, I've always liked her more than a friend, one night a little over a year ago at a party she was flirting with me (including tickling my leg), I froze up, that night passed, I didn't know what to do, waited too long, asked her out 5 months later, she kindly rejected me (but by that time she was seeing somebody and now that somebody is her boyfriend and they've been official for almost 6 months). I've always felt that she felt somewhat the same towards me as well because sometimes she'll smile at me differently from our other friends and she's played with my hair a few times as well. My perspective from all of this, she probably does like me but she doesn't want to risk losing the friendship - then again, I could be wrong, but hey, who knows. What can I do to win her over?

Nick

We still love eachother and she means the world to me there isn't anyting I wouldn't do for that girl but I ended up screwing it up and no matter how much I tried to change it I couldn't and in the end she said to me she can't do it anymore.. We kissed the other night I ran to her and stopped her just as she was going in she said the feelings were good but she can't do it again is there anything that I can do or have a finally screwed up for good?

So i have 4 stories with girls that were turnarounds so its definetley possible. But keep in mind that to pull a turnaround you have to have at least decent game, you have to read the cues and take advantage at the right moments or you are toast. Anyways, i eventually messed it up with all with all these girls again after seeing them again and not being smooth, and like chase said, turnarounds take time. One girl put me in the friendzone after i was being too pushy with her, i said that i couldnt be just her friend and completely didnt chase her. Well, 6 months go by with NC and she calls me up saying she missed me. I dont know if she was just lonely or she was telling the truth but i ended up getting her to hang out with me and getting her back to my place but i couldnt even get a kiss. At this point though i really didnt care AT ALL and i just cut her out. Another girl in college i told her i really liked her and she put me in the friendzone too. During the time of no contact, i got a girlfriend, and i asked her to hang out. I was completely natual and didnt care if i got her or not. Well, i ended up kissing her after breaking up with my gf. But i was so devestated by my breakup that i started acting desperate with the turnaround girl. So i lost her by chasing her and actually after we kissed, i really didnt go out with her again probably because i was really needy. Third girl was with my best friend Angelica. We were completely platonic friends for 2 years and one night we got drunk and i got her naked and almost banged her but didnt pull the trigger because i was an idiot. Anyways, yea that sucked. The last girl i did a turnaround with was this girl stephanie. I tried to sleep with her on a second date and was way too pushy with it. Well she lost interest but after cutting contact off for a long time, i reinitiated with her. Actually i chased this one for a while over a period of 2 years but only texting and calling every 5 months or so. I suppose that isnt chasing but i was still kind of pursuing her. Anyways, i finally got a chance to go on another date with her but i canceled on her because of work. No problem, we rescheduled again and i canceled on her again. I think what gave me an opportunity with all of these women was that i was completely over wanting to be with them or get with them. I really didnt care anymore and i think girls have a 6th sense for this.

I met a girl and had the opportunity to sleep with her on the first date and instead I decided not to out of respect for her. Now, it seems like its like a game of cat & mouse to get a second date from her. What should I do to get her to come around and get a second date? Normally it isn't in my nature to attempt a meeting that seems might not be easily had, but we actually had chemistry together & I don't wanna go on about things always wondering if maybe she could be the one. Thanks for any help

hi I've been in a 3 year relationship my first real love now at 27.. but I found that out bit to la8.. in the last year she moved back home to save... but I know she would haved liked for us then to get a house together but I wasn't ready. .. I became lost after a wile coz I didn't like staying there I guess coz I couldn't be myself. .. so she got sick of waiting for me to grow up I guess and I don't think I showed her enough affection and love and listen to what she was saying apparently. .. so her hart had broken and had enough of me... so now we have been apart for 4 weeks and I've never been so stressed and sick... I know what I have lost now and don't know what to do... this is the type of girl that I want to marry some day and I told her that but had no idea when... but she is the type that likes to have everything planned out and I like to just go with it... it's hard to explain... can you please help? cheers

this website has helped me a lot and helped me understand where I go wrong, but the thing is I love this girl things were going great we slept together a good amount of times and were almost to being official bf/gf but her ex kept texting her and etc. then the best got of me and I started to get jealous, emotional, and it started to drive her away now she's back with her ex but I can tell she still has feelings for me. I honestly know it's going to be a waiting game do you have any advice for me to get her back? I've kept my distance and recently talked to her and she lit up and got all cheesy like she did when she first liked me, so I know it's there i'm just trying to avoid the friend zone any suggestions on getting her back or to show her that i'm not an emotional needy guy?

Hi Chase,

Let me say at the outset that this is great advice. It seems clear to me that when it comes to women (and perhaps life in general) you know what you are talking about. I think my story is standing proof that you are indeed correct in your analysis of women and relationships. And there are certain aspects in my story which I think you may find interesting (or not but please read).

I am in my mid 30's. I hold a PhD in social science and have a high quality job. Don't get me wrong here I am not rich or anything. But, yeah, I am usually with polite society, attending dinners, discussions, conferences etc. I am confident with what I do and have good looks, although I never had many women in my life. That is partly because I was too lazy to try and hook up with them and rather carried on with the life of a nerd, sitting at home and doing stuff like reading and writing. I got married 8 years ago and had good times. I am still married, but my wife now works in another country. All in all, we get along well.

The story begins with this girl I met 3 years ago. She is an assistant at where I work and 7 years younger than me. In the first few months she tried hard to make this nerd that I am who is usually preoccupied with work and lost in deep reflection to notice her. Well, in the end I noticed her and found this girl pretty. She was dressing in a smart sexy way, definetely not slutty. But I did not pay much attention to her. Then on my birthday she came up with a gift she bought for me and I thought in return it would be kind to buy her a few drinks and talk to her. She gladly accepted. During the conversation I told her that I was curious as to whether she had romantic feelings for me. She said no and told me that she admired my intellect and loved talking to me. I said, ok, let's be friends then. Well, she had a boyfriend and I thought I misread her signals. And I was comfortable with this thought and did not expect anything to happen. But in the following months she started flirting with me, touching me, signaling all these womanly stuff and looking at me in a very desirable manner. I chose to overlook most of it. But one day she turned me on. I stopped resisting and started making out with her. Then there were sporadic make-outs between us here and there. And one evening, I thought, what the hell, I want her and she wants me, so do it. I took her to a hotel room, where we made out. But in the middle of it, I got a phone call and had to leave. So, I could not sleep with her (stupid me). In the course of the next few months, she gradually became more and more aloof and distant. A few times I invited her to go to some place and catch-up, but she turned me down. I could sense that her window of opportunity was closing. And I could do nothing in the face of that.

So, after a number of rejections, I let her go. She continued to talk to me, seeking my advice on her professional and personal issues, which I gladly provided (big mistake I can see that now). And at times she was giving me the look, this look that says I still want you. Her body language was like she was saying "come to me, I still want you". But each and every time I made a move, she turned me down. Then I did the dumbest thing I could do. I started chasing her. The more I chased the more she ran. But my stupidity did not stop there. I told her that I liked her very very much, so much that I could even be in love with her. I told her that she had all the qualities I want in a woman and I am open to anything with her. I asked her to spend time with me during the summer, so that we can make each other happy and see where it goes. She turned all those advances down and shut me out. She told me that she now had a boyfriend that she loves very much and I should respect that. I said, ok, what else can I do? Then I stopped pursuing her and giving her any attention. From there on I did not contact her at all. But the curious thing is during working hours she is contacting me at times and trying to get my attention. Not as intensely as she did in the beginning, but yeah, she is doing it. Last week I made a move and she turned me down again :) And I can sense she is not that much in love with her boyfriend although they are living together for more than a year now. Believe me, I am not making this stuff up. There is this another colleague at work who is of the same age as I am. He told me that she is hitting on him hard nowadays. For now he is not responding.

Well, it makes perfect sense. The girl who was once trying hard to make me notice her and like her has now lost interest. Simple reason: She conquered me. And now she is trying to conquer somebody else. The funny thing is as long as I let her she is still getting playful around me and enjoying it. Well, it is the natural outcome: My ineptitude allowed her to turn herself from an ordinary girl to a girl I am crazy about. Chase, your insight into this is spot on.

Getting her back is very difficult now. I know that. And anyway, I will just close this file and move on. That I will do. And I really don't want to make her my girlfriend or anything. But I want to sleep with her. Hell yeah. If I can do that, this file will be closed with a happy note for me. Any ideas on how I can do that? Congratulations again on this site and all the best.

I have, well just had a girl, and I asked her on a date to see how it would go. It was this past weekend, and the week prior she had asked me to come over to talk and get to know each other better, so I did. One day I was over for just a minute, one day it was about 40 minutes, one day about 10 minutes, and the lasy day about an hour. I was talking to the friend who suggested we go out, and on the second day, her friend was convinced that for some reason I needed to kiss her. She told me the girl wanted me to kiss her and if I didnt kiss her then she would make her not go out with me, so pressured into it I kissed her and it went well. So the rest of the days we just talked really and I helped her with some work. Then I am texting her friend again and her friend gets the impression that we both are absolutely loving each other(me and the girl), so she things it's a good idea for me to ask the girl to be my girlfriend. She tells me the same things and of course, I for some reason ask her. To no surprise she tells me she wants to wait until after the date because she wants to see how that goes. Then the date comes on Friday and we went to an amusement park. I had a blast, and we went to dinner before, had a nice dinner, had fun. So after, I'm supposed to ask again if she would make me the happiest man alive and be my girlfriend. But, I wanted a picture perfect moment, and on the way out, we didn't really have one, so I thought no biggie, I'll just ask next time I see her. So I text her friend, I'm gonna ask next time, I didn't feel it. And now, I have a droid razr from motorola(NEVER BUY A DROID, IPHONE IS WAY BETTER) and it glitches out and it ends up sending the text to the girl I was just on the date with. And of course she takes it as I didnt feel a connection between us the whole night and I'm making an excuse to not talk to her again. And now, she doesn't want to talk to me. She said she needs some space and time to figure things out. Man, I really need a lot of help, if you could email me at ehelp3x@gmail.com it would mean a ton to me, thanks.

I'd first like to say thank you for your help, I got the most amazing woman thanks to your advice. However it worked too well and ended with falling fast and deeply in love with me, so in turn I fell in love with her and so I stopped playing the game and made myself too easy. We spent about 6 weeks everyday together but of course I was so available she lost the need to see me. 4 months later she finished it because I didn't give her space as she wasn't as bothered about seeing me. We are talking, we both have strong feelings still. How do I get her back to feeling how I did when I was playing the game.
Thank you, Rob

I started to meet my last girlfriend by a customer of our company. After a year of occasional work contact we realized that we know each other from childhood (18 years ago). Moreover, she was one of my first platonic youngster sweethearts, the one I had most of saucy dreams about that time. When I got to know she was divorced with 2 kids (boy 6 & girl 8), and had financial troubles with her home, I took care of her and the family (the kids took me in very well, almost with enthusiasm). I found a new apartment and we started to live together. Everything was wonderful and I was grateful to have found my soul-mate by the providence of destiny. She wanted to marry me and have 1 more child with me. I was the hesitant one because I had some unresolved issues from my former relationship (no kids), and I was afraid whether to be able to provide for 5 people (my job was not stable). She started to give me deadlines, the last one be 20.07.2007 (such a unique wedding date after 5 years in relationship) but I only silently laughed hating to be forced into wedlock by a needy single mother. Meanwhile, her brother started a relationship with a colleague and good friend of my gf having very rich parents, who co-owned an apartment house. And that time one luxury but expensive apartment got free in it. My gf was instantly eager to move, not giving me a say, and agreed with the owners to take the rental as it is, not letting me to negotiate. I felt offended and retaliated by ignoring all the preparations to move. Meanwhile, her brother and his gf got pregnant and announced their wedding. Since then my gf stopped to sleep with me and started to tell me and the children that I am not the family support anymore and that they should shift all their trust to their new rich relatives. She told me that if I would not propose to her right away, she would break up with me, but she wanted to stay friends in every case. That insulted me even more. I have started to consider not moving with them and letting them try to finance that expensive home by herself. She took it dispassionately, but I was sure that they would feel the shortage and come back to me with plead. But nothing like that ever happened. They moved, seemed not missing me at all, and she had even increased their spending so that I wondered whether she had not won a lottery (later I found out that she took high consumer loans and when she could not pay them the rich relatives helped her a lot). Nevertheless, we continued to meet as friends for almost one more year. At first I expected a kind of apologize or at least something like "we miss you, don't you want to try it with us again?" but nothing like that came. Then I started to drop hints that I would like to live with them again and that the marriage might not be an obstacle anymore. At the end I invited her for a private cruise with dinner under Prague Charles Bridge and proposed to her. She seemed to enjoy, the expression of victory in her face could not be overlooked. She said it always turns out she was right, but that I can do nothing to get her back. After a week, right on my 40th birthday, she sent me SMS that she had no feeling left for me, and did not want to see me or talk to me anymore. I acted desperate, begged, pleaded to stay at least friends etc., but to no avail. During the next 5 years until now I keep trying to restore contact with them (no annoying, only a few times a year - birthday, Christmas etc.) but with no result. The last message I have from the boy, adult now: "Leave us alone, once and for good, you know nothing about us and we have nothing to do with you. Our life is perfect without you. It will never change, there is no point in trying or waiting. If you cannot grasp and respect it, you are mentally ill and should get treatment". Then he blocked my Skype account and erased me from his phone. I found out through a friend that last year she found a guy and they plan to marry. I am desperate even after years of psychotherapy and taking antidepressants, and systematically prepare for suicide. This is not the only devastating event in my life - my father left and cursed our family (no contact for 11 years), my 2 younger brothers already committed suicide, and my first girlfriend whom I also loved more than everything fell for my friend - womanizer when I was abroad, avoided me then for 10 years, and it took 22 years before she was able to hug & kiss with me as a friend (she is happily married to another man, that friend that pinched her has also happy family with another woman).

Hey guys

I have a question about my story.
Around 2 months ago I started to go out with a girl. She had a boyfriend, but he was ignoring her and she didn't really like him anymore.
So after a while she left her boyfriend and wanted a relationship with me. I liked her a lot so I had no objections.
Now we were together for about 1 month. It was fun and no problems occured. Then 2 weeks ago she suddenly became more distant. She had phone contact with her ex again and I saw no problems in that, but she started to act different. So i asked her if she still had feelings for him and she said yes.
So I said it was best to take some distance. We did and after 2 days she said she is breaking up with me.
So we did, but i knew she still liked me when i saw her at work again. So I started getting intimate again and even slept with her again.
I thought everything would solve if i moved fast again, but it did not.
the distance only grew larger.

So now my questions are. What did i do wrong? Is there still a way to fix it? Why did this happen?

If I can't fix it then so be it, but I am curious if it is possible.