Ever feel bad because random girls don’t like you? This is the “I have to get every girl insecurity” – and it can lose you dates and lays.
Not so long ago, I was out with a girlfriend. I’d just left a café I was working at to meet her, waiting outside. When I got there, I greeted her, and then she pointed me to a girl next to her I hadn’t met before. “This is my friend,” she said.
I glanced at the friend, and she glanced at me, and I saw a half-second automatic expression of displeasure flash across her face, before she forced a smile and said hi. I said hello. And I laughed to myself.
The friend wasn’t particularly attractive (she wasn’t ugly; just ordinary). The reaction could’ve been because she didn’t like my look / something about me, or it could’ve been because I accidentally (instinctively) checked her out quickly upon turning toward her (and she didn’t like my look / something about me). I can’t really help it, it’s just an automatic thing, and it excites girls who like me but turns off the ones who don’t.
Either way, once I excused myself to use the toilet, but before I
returned, I thought about this interaction, and realized that while
this did not bother me now, four or five
years ago I’d have taken it personal and felt hurt. And I thought back
and realized I’ve seen plenty of this (girl flashes me a look of
distaste; I find it amusing), and it hasn’t bothered me in a good long
A girl was rejecting me – right? That’s a negative judgment.
But I got a kick out of it. So what’s changed?