How to Hook Up with Swingers

I am not sure how many of you studlings are interested in the kinkier aspects of sexuality. Perhaps you’re just here to get a girlfriend, a wife, or get better at the process of picking up in general – and more power to you!

However, there are others among you who like to see what the limits are, explore everything, and learn from experience what you like and dislike.

For those of you on the more “exploratory path”, you will eventually find yourself interested in topics like threesomes, open relationships, bondage, swinging, and things of that nature.

Fortunately, there is a wide variety of cool sex stuff to discover, and every interesting thing you do makes you a more knowledgeable, experienced, and stimulating person.

The Perks of Hooking Up with Swingers

I’ll admit right off the bat: I love hooking up with swinging couples.

No, I don’t touch the guys, besides maybe a high-five while each of us is balls-deep in his girlfriend or wife and a bro-hug once the pants are back on later.

First, I’ll explain why I love it so much; then, I’ll talk about what kinds of pitfalls can arise and how to avoid them to the best of your ability. I’ll end with some instruction on how to become the kind of guy that swinging couples want to hook up with.

To begin, I love hooking up with swinger couples for exactly the same reason I used to love sleeping with “taken” women: easy, drama-free sex with zero expectations of emotional support, financial investment, or commitment of any kind.

The woman already has a guy for all that stuff, and just wants to get screwed by a cool, attractive guy who knows what he’s doing.

There are downsides to sleeping with “taken” women in a cheating context, such as the loss of belief in loyal relationships that are not present in swinging situations. Hence, sleeping with women in swinging situations or who are in open relationships is a great way to get your needs met without accidentally destroying your belief in true love and loyalty.

Another reason I love it so much is that women absolutely love getting railed by two men at once.

In my experience with group sex of all kinds, I have found that women vastly prefer MMF threesomes to MFF threesomes (which they also enjoy). There’s just something about having two dicks drilling them that drives them wild with animal lust, as the fantasy fulfillment makes them feel more like they have experienced the things they desire. The looks on their faces, the sounds they make, the way their bodies convulse… everything about it is awesome to me.

The last thing to understand before I continue is that nearly all heterosexual women have thought about threesomes, group sex, getting banged by two guys at once, and many other things of that nature. Women are highly sexual creatures with a very detailed fantasy life, but oftentimes they have to retreat into their imaginations when a real-life partner is not adequately stimulating them.

Thus, being the kind of guy who is into this stuff is literally making her fantasies come true. Hard to go wrong with that!

Downsides to Swinging

Now that I’ve covered the positives, let’s go over some of the potential pitfalls to avoid. Some of these have happened to me, and some have not – yet I hear from others that they do happen, so I will include them in the post.

One potential pitfall to hooking up with a couple is that the female develops strong feelings for you. This will be immediately obvious to her boyfriend or husband, oftentimes because a less intelligent woman will openly vocalize how much pleasure you are giving her.

Smarter ones wait until the man is away before telling you that you’re better in bed, have a bigger cock, make her feel more like a woman, etc. than her man does.

But those who say, for example, “You made me squirt! My hubbie could never do that!” might be unknowingly setting you up to get your ass kicked.

It takes a lot of trust and communication for a couple to bring another partner (or partners) into their bedroom, and that trust is extremely fragile during the act itself and in the immediate afterglow, where things are said in the moment of passion that can easily trigger someone’s jealousy.

I have also had to deal with jealousy in MFF threesomes, but an angry boyfriend can be an even more serious pain in the butt.

At worst, you get your ass kicked (this has never happened to me), at best, you never get to bang his sexy girlfriend again and you’re never invited back.

How to Hook Up with Swingers

Now, if you’ve read this far and find yourself excited by the idea of banging another guy’s wife right in front of him (or while she’s sucking his dick), then there are some things you’ll want to understand about how to make this happen for you.

As I mentioned last year in my article on “How to Have Threesomes with Your Girlfriend”, you must be nonjudgmental of female sexuality – or, even if you are, you must have the ability to be tactically nonjudgmental.

If a woman gets even one subtle hint that you would think less of her for sharing her body with another man, then you’re out, and she’ll come find a guy like me instead. It’s always the woman’s choice in these situations (and in all situations really), so it’s her opinion of you that will make or break you. If the husband has already agreed to let another guy bang his wife, he probably isn’t going to be as picky as she is.

Something that goes a really long way if you don’t have the “Secret Society vibe” down yet, is one of my favorite tactics ever: telling sex stories. The more stories you have about quick flings, one-night stands, threesomes, and orgies, and the more you tell those stories in the right way, the more opportunities will open up to you.

These stories give women (and their male partners) a clear idea of what kind of man you are: experienced, open-minded, and not likely to get needy and attached, i.e., a perfect candidate for some wife-sharing.

Now, I of course realize that many of you reading this don’t have the experience or balls (yet) to openly talk about these things to a degree that I would consider borderline bragging. For me, one of the most fascinating parts of this journey was when I truly realized that the more open I was about my sexual kinks and deviancy with women – even new women who I wanted to sleep with and had not hooked up with yet – the more interested in sleeping with me they seemed to become.

If you have good sex stories, and the ability to communicate them well, then you should find ways to tell these stories and bring them up in conversation.

In my opinion, focusing on this particular skill will go farther than anything else. The ideal vibe you will eventually get to is talking about these topics as casually as if you were talking about the weather. A man who can discuss sex and the weather with the same amount of calmness is a rare treat for women, and he instantly signals preselection and high sexual market value.

So once it has been made clear to the female that you are a Secret Society male (which is extremely high value in and of itself), you two (and the husband) will arrive at the destination in one of two ways.

1. “Spontaneously”
   

   This is the case when, say, you’re partying with a couple and then, hey, you’re all drinking and now you’re in the hot tub, and then the next minute clothes start coming off, and then everyone’s banging each other. It’s a very fun way to have such an experience, because the mounting tension and the “Is this going to happen?” thoughts simply add to the fun of the evening. Just realize that in almost zero cases are they truly “spontaneous”. Usually the pair planned it out long before you got there and are simply picking you up in a way that you could call “indirect game”.

   Occasionally, only one of the two will have made the arrangements (and that one is usually the female).

   Remember, many things in romance that seem “spontaneous” have been planned out by the female, discussed with her friends, and put into action in a very specific way. Threesomes with swinging couples are no different.

2. Planned
   

   This is when all three of you sit down and talk about your desires, boundaries, and openly communicate what everyone is looking for from such an experience. Of course, this requires you to know what you desire as well as the ability to communicate it effectively. This is the fundamental skill of getting what you want in life – knowing what you want and being able to communicate it effectively.

   In this case, knowing what kind of sexual experience you wish to have while being flexible and open to what the other people want is what will lead to the most satisfying experience for everyone. Maybe the wife wants double-penetration, but only wants her husband to have anal sex with her. Maybe her fantasy is to jerk you both off and have you two come on her tits at the same time. A conversation beforehand will allow you to discover what is what and avoid doing something that could potentially hinder the fun for the people involved.

How Many Swingers are Out There?

Some of you may be wondering just how many couples are swingers and into this kind of thing.

The answer is... a LOT!

I have seen estimates that up to a quarter of all marriages are secretly open relationships of one kind or another. When I asked my father – who has been married to my mother for over 30 years – whether he thought this was true, he told me that he was “surprised the number was that low.”

There is a whole wide world of amazing sex and fantastical adventures to be had in your short time here on Earth. Most people will not experience these heights of joy and juicy sex combinations. However, I am absolutely convinced that any guy can attain this level, because, in truth, being part of the Secret Society has nothing to do with how you look.

It is entirely how you think about women, sex, dating, and that kind of thing. Looks will give you more opportunities, but in fact, the majority of truly Secret Society men aren’t all that good-looking.

You can attain this level if you really desire it, and if you do, then I hope this article has given you some useful insight and ways to think about how to make it happen.

Happy hunting,

Drexel