Eye Contact Seduction: Basics and Advanced

Seductive eye contact is about more than eyelids and gaze direction. With these 3 basic eye contact rules, plus a few advanced tactics, you’ll melt her.

Lately I have been making posts on non-verbal seduction. Non-verbal seduction is a lot of fun and has a lot of benefits – such as being possible in loud clubs. If you’d like my lesson on pulling off verbal seduction in a loud club, here it is: you can’t. This is why those of us (myself included) who enjoy using fancy verbals tend to avoid loud clubs or stick to smoking and lounge areas.

But this will no longer be a problem, for today we will go further down the rabbit hole of non-verbal seduction. One common misconception is that non-verbal seduction is easier than verbal seduction. This is wrong. However, it is important to keep in mind that it is easier to occasionally “get lucky” and enjoy freebies with non-verbal seduction. Becoming consistent and enjoying repeated success, on the other hand, is hard. This requires more than just “gazing her down” and touching her like a caveman.

This forces us to become more calibrated and develop more than a simple “trained eye” and that “smooth vibe” that usually results from field experience. To achieve success and avoid failure, it is still a prerequisite to gain knowledge. And in order to get good at non-verbal seduction, one has to get deeper in the analysis of those concepts, which at first glance to a “clueless” eye, may seem banal. For good non-verbal seduction, the devil is indeed in the details.

In last week’s article, we discussed the oftentimes overlooked yet crucial subject of positioning. Today’s topic, eye contact, is no different. Now, keep in mind that this post, the previous post, and the upcoming posts related to non-verbal seduction will cover techniques that can also be used when delivering verbals; for example, eye contact is obviously key in any form of seduction but is absolutely vital in non-verbal seduction – for obvious reasons, these are the only tools you have at your disposal when verbals are rendered useless. When given fewer “tools” to operate with, perfection is required.

Without further ado let’s get to it.

Eye Contact Power

Eye contact is one of the most used yet rarely discussed seduction techniques out there. Learning to give good eye contact is both powerful and easy, but perfection requires field experience – and it is worth it in the long run.

Some say the eyes are the gateway into the soul, and we know that eye contact communicates and builds:

• Rapport
• Trust
• Sexual connection and tension
• Intrigue
• A sense of mystery
• Increased desire and compliance

Eye contact flirting is therefore a powerful technique that you can use in most settings – including clubs, bars, the street, coffee shops, and even the classroom.

Of course the level of intensity and sexual intent should be calibrated according to the venue and situation. Hence, clubs and bars allow more for “sexual gazes” right away than, say, street or classroom settings, where you might want to tone it down at first, then escalate the vibe (and the sexual intent of the eye contact) according to her response and level of sexual interest to you.

But before we discuss how to give good eye contact, we need to make sure we have certain rules in check.

3 Basic Rules to Good Eye Contact

There are 3 basic rules one has to follow when giving eye contact. Fail to follow these rules and your chances of failing the whole seduction grows exceptionally. Make sure you have these in check before attempting any more fancy techniques.

1. Some guys – usually drunk guys (in club/bar settings), but occasionally some “confident” uncalibrated trolls – like to stare down girls who haven’t even given them any signs of interest or any invitation prior to the “forced eye contact.” Although this can work sometimes – if you are lucky – in most cases this is just creepy and needy, and is prone to failure. Don’t do it. Don’t gaze down chicks and force eye contact before you have even met them or received any clear “green lights” in the form of non-verbal signs of interest.

   It is ok, and even recommended to look at a girl for a few seconds (maybe 3 seconds max) and see if she responds, but pull back if she doesn’t. Now, it is, in some cases okay to force eye contact once she is hooked in and you have some strong rapport and things have escalated sexually. However, this is more advanced and requires more calibration – this, when pulled off successfully, can display confidence and a strong, dominant frame.

2. The second golden rule is: do NOT avoid eye contact. If a girl looks at you, you must return eye contact. Don’t “act” like you haven’t seen her. Avoiding eye contact shows that you are uncomfortable and that you suffer from low confidence. Be a dominant man and show her that you are confident, that you do not fear looking at her deep in the eyes.

3. And at last, once you have managed to get a girl to look at you, whether it is eye contact generated before or after the approach (the rules here are the same), never even consider looking away first... and never EVER look down once you look away. First of all, you want to HOLD the eye contact. This creates tension, attraction, and shows dominance (attractive). Look away first and she becomes the dominant one (rarely attractive). Yes, at some point, you do have to look away – failing to do so can be a bit “too much” and creep her out.

   However, you only look away after she looks away first – she needs to look away first, then maybe a second later, you look away... but not down. Never ever look down. Looking down is a strong sign of submissiveness – which again is not attractive – and the strength of this non-verbal sign might be enough to throw away the whole interaction. Instead of looking down, just look away to the side.

You probably should not be looking down if you’re a guy.

If she looks down, however… consider this a major sign of attraction. It signals that she is submissive to you. If she looks up, then you are most likely fucked and should move on. If she looks to the side, you are free to consider it neutral. If she looks away to the side after prolonged eye contact, I would still consider it a rather strong sign of attraction.

How to Give Eye Contact

Let us now cover how to give eye contact the proper way. What I am about to share is not rocket science, yet it has tremendous impact. And like many non-verbal techniques, these things are often disregarded subjects.

In this section, I’ll give you a few basic tips and tricks you can use right away.

However, after this section, I will get deeper and share some more complex yet still relatively simple techniques to make everything more powerful.

So here are my tips for better eye contact:

1. Be relaxed – yes, relax your damn eyes! Relax the musculature around eyes, including your eyebrows. Everybody discusses how to give a good eye contact – some claim you have to pull off “puppy” eyes, others talk about “sexual predator” eyes, others are big fans of those “slutty eyes.” I personally think that these terms do more harm than good, as they are very confusing.

   And according to my experience, they are all words for the same thing. The results of such advice is that most guys try to imitate what they have read, resulting in some weird “try-hard” eye contact that just looks weird. What we do want is a relaxed yet dominant eye contact with a hint of sexual presence and mystic. Sounds fancy, right? Well, it is not. The secret trick here is to simply relax your eyebrows and hold your eye contact. This communicates all these traits. Don’t force anything weird, just relax your eyebrows. You can do it!

2. Now, we touched upon this already, but to create additional intrigue besides holding the eye contact, avoid any facial expression: we are here talking about a blank poker face! Do not try to do any forced “weird” faces. Just do nothing. It’s super hot; super confident while being mysterious and intriguing. And guess what? Most guys are unable to pull this off because it feels weird to them. But remember, building tension with a girl requires one to push the comfort zone; it is one of the main prerequisites. There can’t be tension if things are too comfortable.

   Now, this might be too much for many girls in the early phase of the interaction, so you might save it for later (when you have reached a hook point, or after receiving a green light in the form of a sign of interest – or better yet, when you are isolated with her away from the main crowd). If this is too much for the early phase of the interaction, just add in the facial expressions: happy, shocked, curious… those are looks you most likely do naturally on a regular basis, anyway. However, as the interaction progresses, you want to escalate the vibe, and one of the many ways to do it is by holding eye contact free of any facial expressions (the poker face), with relaxed eyebrows. It is actually simpler than it sounds.

3. This is a big one that confuses many: which eye to look at? You obviously can’t look into both eyes at the same time – maybe you can, I surely cannot. Focus on one eye and deliver all your “eye contact” laser superpower into one of her eyes. You want it to be intense. She needs to feel it, so focus on looking at one eye at a time. But which one? I honestly don’t know – but I do know this: people have one eye that is more dominant than other, and one eye that is more susceptible to eye contact than the other. Now, this differs from person to person, so it is impossible for you to tell right there and then.

4. However, what I have found is that you can always occasionally swap eyes. For example, at first you might gaze into her right eye before switching over to her left eye. You can do so regularly at short intervals, but don’t take this too far and make her dizzy.

Let us now discuss a few other techniques you can add to your arsenal. Make sure you have the basics in check first, but do not hesitate to try the following out – they are not difficult techniques to pull off.

Triangle Gaze

This is a rather simple but really cool “old-school” technique where you basically look into one of her eyes before sliding to the next eye, followed by moving your eyes down to her lips, before moving back to the starting position – the eye you looked at first. This should make a triangular move, hence its name.

The triangle gaze is what your eyes will be doing naturally in this situation.

I do not really know why this technique is so powerful, but it has been a classic for years. Looking down at someone’s lips might communicate sexual intent and might trigger horniness. You see a lot of “femme fatales” pull this trick off in movies. This technique is a classic – because it works! Also, it allows you to look into both her eyes.

Now, if you recall earlier when I said that one should not look down when giving eye contact? Well, the rule applies most of the time, but not here. In this case, you’re not looking down, you’re looking at her lips. This is, in fact, the exact opposite of a submissive move. It’s suggestive, which is actually a dominant move.

Fractionation

Ah, how often haven’t discussed this technique – the good old “enhancer.” Fractionation is a concept I will not cover in depth here; however, the baseline is this: switching between two (oftentimes opposite) states in order to generate contrast and enhance your intent. For example, switching between sexual and social states is a form of fractionation.

In this case, you can add fractionation to your eye contact playing. I have two suggestions for you:

1. Talk with your girl for a bit while looking at the crowd, then turn in and give her some MAJOR eye contact… just for a bit, and look away again. If you do this, it is key that you don’t show any signs you are afraid of looking her in the eyes – it needs to be obvious and controlled that you are looking somewhere else. Now, after giving her a strong gaze, you fractionate out – back and forth.

2. This technique is actually better: switch between “social” eye contact where you add in facial expressions such as your “oh wow this is cool,” “really?” “hahahaha awesome,” and “you must be joking” faces, and transition into the blank, poker face, relaxed eyebrow type of eye contact that I discussed earlier on... before transitioning back into a social eye contact. Do this back and forth and enjoy the beauties of fractionation.

Let us now recap this article.

Eye Contact Recap

In this post, we covered some fundamentals regarding eye contact, a powerful tool of non-verbal seduction that can be used in most settings.

We started out by discussing some basic rules, namely:

1. Never force eye contact or gaze down girls, as that can come across as creepy

2. Don’t avoid eye contact if a girl is looking at you

3. Always be the last one to look away, and never look down

We then discussed some basic tips regarding how to give good eye contact. Here we mentioned the following:

1. Be relaxed – relax the musculature around your eyes, including the eyebrows

2. Avoid weird facial expressions when giving eye contact – we’re looking for a relaxed poker face

3. Look into one eye at the time, and feel free to switch between the eyes

Finally, we discussed two additional techniques:

1. Triangular gazing – look into one eye before swapping to the next, then to the lips before returning to the starting position

2. Fractionation – switching between lots of eye contact and no eye contact, or switching between social and sexual eye contact

Hope you enjoyed this post. Let me know if you have any questions.

Until next...

Alek

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