Beware of Girls It's Too Easy to Meet!

Some girls make themselves easy to meet as a part of their dating strategy. But you should beware of these girls yourself... because when you meet them, YOU are the target.

A friend of mine in a country new to him went to an expatriate meeting not long ago. He's a guy who keeps himself attractive and is otherwise good with women, so he's not hard up for dates. He noted how the only truly attractive women at this expat meeting were the wives of male expatriates present. All the single/available women were unattractive, or older; single mothers; and so on.

This called to mind a general mantra I've hewed to over the years: beware of girls it's too easy to meet!

I don't mean girls who are 'easy'... as in "she's so easy to sleep with."

I mean girls it is easy to meet.

The easier it is to meet her, generally, the farther down your batting average you do if you go dating her.

 

Some Girls Make Themselves Easy to Meet

There are all sorts of places you can go where it's real easy and non-scary to meet unfamiliar women. Places like:

• Salsa lessons
• Speed dating
• Wine tastings
• Online dating
• Meetup groups
• Alumni meetings
• Ice cream socials
• Hobbyist meetings
• Expatriate meetings
• Social club dinners/drinks

Parties and nightlife venues are in the middle, between 'easy to meet' and 'hard to meet'.

School, work, and your residential building are wild cards of sorts, since the social/romantic aspect tends to feature somewhat less in a woman's choice of where to study, work, and reside. So these places can be exceptions (if you're in the right place): spots where it's easy to meet women, yet the women are of good quality.

With the places in the bulleted list above however, all you have to do is go to these places and talk to people and you'll meet available women. It's easy.

Yet if you go to enough of these places, you'll start to notice a trend. The trend is the women you meet here are hardly the cream of the crop. Instead, they're actually pretty average.

If you exclusively meet women through venues like these, you may not realize how attractive the women you could meet and succeed with are. Several times in my coaching days I took out men who slept with a lot of women primarily from easy-to-meet venues yet who decided to learn to cold approach. Invariably, after one or two outings, each student like this would end up blown away at how attractive the women he met were. "Wow, I can't believe how hot the girls I'm meeting are!" he'd say.

The funny thing is, the girls he'd be flipping out about would never be anything all that special... at least in terms of the girls you can meet via cold approach. If a guy keeps at it he's destined to meet plenty of more attractive girls than the ones he meets right out of the gate.

Yet those fresh-out-of-the-gate girls, compared to what he'd have been used to from 'easy to meet' venues, were revelatory!

Why's there so stark a difference, these easy-to-meet venues versus girls you meet via cold approach on the street, in shops, in transit, or in nightlife venues? Or via other outlets where it isn't usually as easy to meet women (school, work, the gym, the beach, etc.).

Well, the reason is, some women go out of their ways to make it easy for men to meet them.

In particular, they go out of their ways to make it easy for the men they want to meet to meet them.

These women are never the cream-of-the-crop girls. Because girls who are the cream of the crop don't need to make it easy for men to meet them. Such girls actually try to discourage approaches -- so they only end up with the really ballsy, confident, preselected men approaching them instead.

Women who opt to make themselves easy to meet do so to compensate for not otherwise being able to attract the men they want.

 

Easy-to-Meet Girls, Meet Lazy Dater Men

Easy-to-meet girls prey on guys who are what I might dub 'lazy daters'.

A lazy dater is a man who opts to minimize the effort he puts into dating. He will do this even to the point it costs him significantly in the quality of woman he ends up with.

Well... she's female... just ignore the snaggleteeth, large nose, messy hair, and flabby arms...

Not all lazy daters are actually lazy. Some of them are just clueless. They don't realize there are other ways to meet women, or that they can work on themselves and their skill set with women. They don't see options to open up other pathways to encountering new women.

The only ways that seem in reach to men like this are the easy-to-meet ways.

The signatures of an easy-to-meet venue, by the way, are:

1. Meeting new people is a primary activity. When you go to a bar, it's a social environment. Some approaching and flirtation and hooking up occurs. But people still mostly hang with their groups, and it can be intimidating to meet new people (see: approach anxiety). Go to salsa lessons though, and the women are pairing up with new men as one of the primary activities there. It is built in. It is just what people do there... what all people do (not just some). It's a main draw. Online dating: meeting new people is the main draw. Ice cream socials: main draw. Expat meetings: main draw. Nightclubs? It happens, but there are lots of other reasons people go. Grocery stores? Even less of a main draw. The less of a main draw it is, the less likely it is to be an easy-to-meet venue. The more of a main draw it is, the more likely it is one.

2. The women present are far more approachable than usual. The easier it is to approach women and the warmer their receptions are to you, the more likely you are to be in an easy-to-meet venue. This won't always apply; if you're the weird guy at a speed dating event or the guy with crummy pictures on an online dating app, no dice. But even for this guy, he'll usually still get better receptions at these places than he gets elsewhere. For guys who are trying at least a little bit, they generally come to find these places feature far easier-to-meet women than the women they encounter elsewhere.

3. You see a lot of attractive guys approaching middling girls. If you ever witness a man approach a woman on the street in a trendy shopping area, in general you'll notice more often than not it's a less attractive man meeting a more attractive woman. Day game is 'hard' (not in pure terms; it's actually easier to cold approach and hit it off with a woman in daytime than many other places... but men largely don't do it because it seems so unusual and scary). On the other hand, when you see single men approach single women at wine tastings or expat events, it's usually more attractive men meeting less attractive women. When you see an abundance of more attractive single men meeting less attractive single women, you're probably in an easy-to-meet venue.

Back to lazy daters.

Not every guy doing the lazy dater thing is lazy all the time.

Sometimes he's often more active. But today he's a little lazier and opts to go somewhere it's easier.

However, there are men who are just always lazy about their dating. They always go to easy-to-meet venues and chat up easy-to-meet girls. These men, far more than the occasional lazy dater men, are the targets of easy-to-meet girls.

True lazy dater men date below their sexual market value because they can't or won't put the work in to meet superior quality women. They all have different reasons, such as:

• "It's too much work."
• "I refuse to be a slave to pussy."
• "I wouldn't know where to begin."
• "I'm not [fill-in-the-blank quality] enough to meet girls in those other places."
• "Girls in those other places are too stuck up."
• "I like the girls in [easy-to-meet venues]. They're a lot easier to meet there."

The reasons aren't particularly relevant here. The only relevant thing is the result.

And the result of the lazy dater's dating habits is that he perpetually dates below the caliber of woman he could get were he willing to brave harder venues.

He's the guy who smells a delicious meal over in the other room, but is just too comfortable in the chair he's in now to get up and go there... so he keeps snacking on the bag of stale pork rinds he has at-hand instead.

 

The Easy-to-Meet Girl's Plan

If we define lazy dater men as doing less to get women than they optimally could, easy-to-meet women are the opposite: they do more.

The result is that less attractive easy-to-meet girls successfully finagle themselves into dating more attractive lazy dater men, on what is an in fact pretty regular basis.

Imagine your typical naturally beautiful girl:

• She spends a little time on hair and makeup. But often not much, because she's already naturally beautiful and gets plenty of attention as it is... there's little incentive for her to work extra hard for a small additional increase in attention.

• She actively avoids venues where meeting new people is a primary activity. Every time she's gone places like this, men who are not up to her standards swamp her, she feels uncomfortable with the place, and has not returned. This is what happens to beautiful women who test the waters with online dating, speed dating, Meetup groups, etc. -- and it's why even if you see a true knockout at a place like this once, you will almost never see her twice -- she may have been curious, but she won't return once she realizes what the place is.

• She feels no need or desire to 'cultivate her network' whatsoever, because she regularly has high-ish caliber people trying to meet her, and she retains her old/existing network of high caliber people already.

A girl like this is difficult to meet, relative to other sorts of women.

She's difficult to meet because she doesn't do things to make herself easier to meet. In fact, she actively avoids places and activities that make her too easy to meet. She may do things to deliberately make herself less easy to meet.

She is the opposite of the easy-to-meet girl.

She does not frequent easy-to-meet venues. Nor is she 'easy to meet' for ordinary men.

Now imagine your typical easy-to-meet girl. She's the inverse of our typical beautiful girl:

• The easy-to-meet girl looks for ways to bring more attention to herself. Some easy-to-meet girls do this via working on their appearance. But not all. Some seek to have more pleasing personalities. Some are just very good at throwing out loads of approach invitations. Some will actively approach men they like themselves and start a conversation. Regardless, almost all easy-to-meet girls focus on one or more areas of improvement to make themselves either more attractive to men or better able to meet men.

• The easy-to-meet girl seeks out venues where meeting new people is the primary activity. Every time she's gone places like this, she's met far more and more attractive men than she usually meets elsewhere. Not only is this a validation boost from all the attention she receives, but her mating prospects are better in venues like this than anywhere else. These are her prime hunting grounds for men.

• The easy-to-meet girl tends to be heavily interested in broadening her network. She will happily trade contact info with anyone and everyone. She has lots of friends and lots of prospective male suitors. Active easy-to-meet girls will often have more male orbiters than most naturally beautiful girls. Because she's meeting men who are more or less out of her league, she must play a numbers game: most of those men won't settle for her... but some of them will. The only way to find her top guy is to keep her pipeline open and have as many potential suitors around as she can.

The easy-to-meet girl plans to catch a guy who's out of her normal league, and rope him down. She's made herself easy to meet so she can have as broad a dating pool as possible, which makes her a lot more likely to stumble across a guy she normally couldn't get but who's willing to settle for her for whatever reason.

Maybe this guy is tired of the dating game. Maybe this guy is a lazy dater and he doesn't realize his potential in the sexual marketplace. Maybe this guy just had his heart torn out and he needs someone to mend him back together, and she's the most readily available girl for that.

There are 500 possible reasons a guy might decide to settle for an easy-to-meet girl who's less than what he could get.

But there's only one reason this girl's made herself easy-to-meet: it's to find that normally-out-of-her-league guy with one of those 500 reasons, and rope him down.

 

Beware of Easy-to-Meet Girls

Hooking up with easy-to-meet girls now and again is fine.

You can use easy-to-meet venues to get your sexual momentum rolling after a dry spell or a hiatus from dating. And they can be nice palate cleansers after a tough outing in a harder-to-meet venue.

The danger zone is when you spend too much time in venues like this and grow too used to the women from here. It's the easy-to-meet girl's plan to find men who are too lazy about dating or too clueless to know better and lock one of those men down.

She counts on your laziness to rope you into a suboptimal (for you; superlative for her) romantic relationship.

She isn't a bad person. Odds are she's a nice person. She's simply exploiting an opportunity in the dating market to allow her to date up. By making herself readily available to meet, she allows herself to meet a lot more men, including a lot more higher mate value men, which raises the odds she will find a way to lock one of those men down.

I have over the years had numerous buddies slide into relationships with easy-to-meet girls. These buddies were always ambivalent about the girls; sometimes they told me they planned to split up with their easy-to-meet girlfriends and be single again. But easy-to-meet girls who manage to tie down a guy who's higher mate value than them know they have a steal and they work overtime to keep the guy around. They are sweeter and more nurturing; or they use guilt trips and make the guy feel bad. Or they're more affectionate and blow his mind with sexual favors (like lusty blowjobs or impromptu threesomes) that other girlfriends he's had have resisted or refused.

Maybe that sounds pretty good in writing, but this doesn't make them ideal girlfriends; and in fact I'm thinking of two buddies right now with easy-to-meet girlfriends who gave them threesomes and were overall pretty good girlfriends, but with whom the buddies were still torn about being with. The reason why was because the girls, despite their good girlfriend behavior, simply weren't as high in mate value as the women these buddies of mine knew they could get.

Yet, ultimately, the girls made the relationships comfortable and pleasurable enough, as well as difficult enough to leave, that my friends married and had children with these women... while still being ambivalent about it. One of those couplings has since ended in a divorce that left my friend depressed due to how the custody situation worked out for his children with this gal; the other friend I haven't talked to in a while, though he seemed more settled into his relationship than my other buddy was.

Regardless, the easy-to-meet girl's objective is to meet you and lock you down into a relationship where you know she isn't as good as what you could get, but you never grow dissatisfied enough to leave. She's a sort of dating flypaper; you're drawn in by her lures (i.e., her easy availability), but once there, you're stuck.

 

Resisting Temptation

I've long viewed easy-to-meet venues and the women you meet there as a sort of temptation. One that lures you away from higher potential with women.

You've got to say 'no' to too much of these over-available, too average chicks.

It's just easier to meet girls in these places. And it can be very tempting for a lot of men to auto-reject harder places and decide the easy-to-meet places are the only places they like. After all, men get such positive receptions there, and it's so easy to just bump into women and strike up a conversation... compared to harder places, like the street, transit, shops, and nightlife.

You must stay aware that whenever you're in these venues, you are dating down. You sacrifice quality for ease. That's fine to do sometimes -- you don't need every girl you sleep with to be a perfect 10 dream girl unicorn. Yet you always need to mind that you're sacrificing on quality while there.

You must complement easy-to-meet venues with harder, higher quality venues if your aim is to be able to a.) sleep with more attractive, higher value women and b.) secure more attractive, higher value girlfriends.

Use the easy-to-meet venues to keep your momentum up and avoid burnout. Use the tougher-to-meet venues to hone your skills and find the women you'll truly be glad you've met (or to even 'date up' yourself, though it's more or less impossible for any truly self-improvement oriented man to ever really be 'dating up' no matter how great the girl he's dating is).

So long as you keep it in mind that easy-to-meet venues feature less attractive women seeking to date up and rope you down by making themselves so much easier to meet, and so long as you merely use them as a supplement to your other meet-women ventures and not as the main course, you should be fine.

You don't need to avoid these venues altogether; they can be a healthy part of your going-out diet. It's nice to have places you can easily bump into women and get into friendly chats and pull some half-decent girls from for quick flings.

You just need to use them in moderation, keep them as a supplement rather than a main course -- and beware slipping into relationships with the women you meet there.

Chase Amante