21 Signs She's a Psycho You Should Ghost on at the Bar

How do you know a girl is crazy, and best avoided when you meet her at the bar? Look for these 21 signs... and keep your distance!

Talking about my article “8 Red Flags She’s a Crazy Girl You Should Stay Away From”, reader SZ comments:

“I read the how to tell if a chicks crazy article, but it looks like if you kind of know her already, so if it’s a same night lay or a fast lay, no way to tell.

How can you tell a chick will be a problem from the first interaction, so you know she’s crazy right off the bat? How do you tell upfront ?”

Good question. How do you know right away... when you meet her on the street, in a party, or at a bar? How do you know if she’s a potential danger to you? How can you identify the psychos – so you can weed them out?

As fun and liberating as hookup culture may be, there are plenty of folks who are off their rockers – and if you go out enough, you will meet them. Psycho men you need to avoid to stay out of fights. Psycho women you need to avoid for that reason... and for many more reasons. Psycho women may:

• Manipulate you into fighting another man – psycho chicks often like to see men battle each other for their hands

• Stalk you and harass you after sex – if you’ve never had a female stalker, you might think, “Eh, how bad can that be?” If you have had a female stalker though, you know it’s both kinda scary (you don’t have to be a big, burly man to sneak up on someone and plunge a knife in their throat; petite women can do this too), and it cramps your style in a major way (try keeping a high quality girlfriend while some psycho chick hounds you everywhere and contacts any woman she sees interacting with you to tell her made-up things to try and scare her off)

• Slap you with a false rape accusation – between 45% and 55% of men accused of rape are falsely accused by women; it’s an enormous problem in the West, and nobody talks about it (or is allowed to). While the odds are good her story will fall apart under police interrogation, and you will win the case, that won’t stop you from losing $10,000 to $100,000 on attorney and court fees, getting suspended or expelled from school, getting suspended or fired from work, and losing some or most of your friends. You don’t even need to have penetrative sex to get hit with an FRA; men who’ve no more than fingered a girl get hit with these, and sometimes a guy who’s never even touched a girl will get FRA’d

• Just generally be an un-fun time – even if she’s not psycho enough to sick some meathead on you, follow you around and scare off other girls you date, or file a false police report claiming you raped her, psycho chicks are a lot of drama and can lead to some really draining nights out. Random crying fits, accusations followed by apologies, jealousy plotlines where she makes out with other men in front of you then gets angry if you try to leave, pulling you along somewhere you don’t want to go and then ditching you when you get there... these are just a few of the things I’ve seen psycho women do in nightlife
  

Caveat for the people who take things completely literally at all times: I’m using the term ‘psycho’ here in the colloquial sense of the word. I’m not focused on the clinical definition of psychosis. Though you’ll encounter some of that among women who exhibit these signs too. Instead, we are talking about crazy, nutty, outré behavior from broken people.

There is no reason to tolerate psychotic behavior from a woman. Unless you’re wildly desperate. Then I guess you may not be able to help yourself. But I hope if you’re someone who’s read this site for a little while, you are not wildly desperate.

Otherwise, there are so many normal women out there, who are just as hot (usually hotter) than the psycho chicks, and will not ruin or seriously monkey up your life. You want to find these girls (the normal ones), and screen out the crazies.

To help you do so, I’ve prepared a list of 21 signs to keep your eyes peeled for when you hit the bar, the lounge, the nightclub, the party, or the street at night, to make sure you don’t end up with a girl who’ll sour you on dating.

As with anything in dating, we want you to think in terms of probabilities, not black and white.

If two action movies come out with similar themes, and one has good reviews from both critics and the public, while the other has poor reviews from both parties, the probability is higher you’ll enjoy the film with good across-the-board reviews.

So it is with women. No danger sign is a guarantee any given girl is a loon. Some signs are more damning than others, though. And the more signs present in a single girl, the higher the probability for her to be someone who messes your life up in serious ways.

Put another way, if three guys in ghetto attire with intimidating body language approach you in a dark alley when you’re by yourself at night, it might be because they need a light. But if you’re remotely street smart, you aren’t going go to play roulette with your life by hoping the reason for their approach falls into the ‘harmless’ probability box.

Thus, we begin with our nine (9) most alerting ‘danger’ signs. My general recommendation is you do not hook up with, or even very much interact with, women with any of these signs.

There may be sane, normal girls with these signs or behaviors. But the odds a girl with them isn’t sane or normal is much higher than usual, and if you don’t like getting kicked out of the club because she didn’t like how you teased her or having her call her friends over to your place the next morning after sex to tell you you’d better not ghost her, don’t mess with chicks like this.

Note: you will notice every one of these ‘red alert’ signs is also a ‘this girl’s gonna be easy’ sign, too. It’s unfortunate, but the girls who signal their easiness to bed are also the highest risk girls. There are ways to find women who are easy to sleep with yet who are not high risk; for that, check out these articles:

• How Girls Show Interest
• What’s the Best Way to Pick Up Girls? Get the Ones Looking for You
• Which Women Want Sex? Here’s How to Tell
• What Should Your Standards Be When Picking Up Women?
  

#1: Her Hair is Dyed an Unnatural Color

The multi-colored freckles are a nice touch too.

This is an identity marker used mostly by extreme/radical progressive women to signal their membership in the ‘hard progressive’ club. Even if you’re a progressive male, you should still stay away. Progressive males are the primary victims of radical progressive females – anecdotally, most of the guys I see get hit with false rape accusations, rape rumors, or threats (or actualities) of school expulsions are progressive or progressive-leaning males themselves, at least before the attack.

There’s a certain segment of women who are not radical progressives/feminists, but dye their hair blue or green or purple or pink or blood red anyway because they think it’s trendy. I still suggest you stay away from these girls anyway. Wherever they’re picking up these ‘trends’ from, there are a bunch of other unhealthy trends in those places you probably don’t want them wielding on you.

Special nutty girl alert for women with entirely shaved heads, too. The skrillex haircut is a yellow alert sign... she’s probably okay, but be on your guard a bit more. If her head’s completely shaved, orange or red alert.

#2: She Has More Than One Small Tattoo

She looks pretty good. But the large-ish tat on her shoulder makes her an orange light (assuming that’s the only one she has).

I know there are guys who like to tattoo themselves up. That’s one thing. Keep this in mind: tattooing is a rather... masculine thing to do:

• It’s painful. Women have higher pain sensitivity than men.

• It’s ostentatious and rebellious. Psychologically well-adjusted women trend more toward modesty than ostentatiousness and rebellion.

• And it showcases tribal identity. Women are typically more small-circle-focused; men are the ones who focus more on larger tribes and networks, usually. A woman who tattoos herself lots indicates a more masculine life focus.
  

In addition, women with tattoos are more impulsive than untattooed women, take more risks, and are also more likely to use drugs, shoplift, and have non-ear piercings (more on that in our next red flag). Women with four or more tattoos are 4x as likely to attempt suicide as women with three or fewer tattoos. And yes, your instincts are correct – they also engage in riskier sex. Remember, we said red flags are signs a girl is both nutty and easy, right?

Yet even if all lots of tattoos tells you about her is that she is impulsive and risk-prone, this itself is still a red flag. Women like this tend to behave in more aggressive, competitive, and vengeful (when scorned) ways than more feminine women (who seek comfort, reassurance and protection, rather than attack and vengeance).

However, the greater risk is that she is psychologically damaged, and uses tattoos to communicate this. I’ve met plenty of girls with lots of tattoos, and girls with large tattoos. Pretty much every one of them without fail had a history of having been abused, or considered themselves ‘bad’, ‘dangerous’, or ‘crazy’. Big warning signs here.

You might even say an inked girl’s sanity is inversely proportional to the surface area of her flesh covered in tattoos. The more her tattooed surface area goes up, the more her psychological stability goes down.

I, for one, will hesitate before bedding even a girl with just a single pretty standard butterfly-on-the-small-of-her-back or barbed-wire-around-her-bicep... and will take precautions if I do. These girls are a lot more likely to be mostly pretty normal girls who got themselves tatted up because it was what all the cool kids were doing and they wanted to conform. Usually they’re pretty safe. Even still, if you’re trying to be as smart as possible, put yourself in yellow alert if you see a little tattoo. And, obviously, the less conformist and more unusual the design or location, the more on-alert you ought to be.

#3: She Has Strange or Many Piercings

Unnatural hair color, prolific tats, lip piercing, and a nose ring. Nothing to worry about here...

I won’t go into this one much since it’s the same as the tattoo one.

Women get (non-earring) piercings when they are more masculine and/or broken than is normal.

A quick rundown on piercing signals in 21st Century Western culture:

• Earrings are normal. No flag
• Belly button piercings are mostly okay. Yellow flag
• Nose studs are rather unusual, and an orange flag
• Piercings anywhere else on the body are a red flag
  

The more and stranger / more strangely located the piercings, the higher alert you must be on.

#4: Her Hair/Clothes are Super Trashy

Not how a sane woman looks when she goes to a bar. And look! Purple hair. She’s a two-fer.

If her hair and clothes are trashy, this is a bad sign.

Now, this is different from her hair or clothes being casual. If she’s in casual wear or her hair is relaxed, no problem. Some girls are just more laid back.

However, if she’s in attire or with a do that is decidedly trashy looking... and this is going to depend on what the fashions of the day are, as ‘trashy’ today may not be ‘trashy’ tomorrow (and vice versa)... but if she is, it’s a sign that either she does not care at all about her look (bad sign), or she actively cultivates a ‘broken’ look (often a worse sign).

To help you out, look for girls who look much trashier than most of the other girls in the venue. They’re usually pretty noticeable when they’re around.

Either way, trashy attire is typically a sign you’ll want to stay far away from a girl.

#5: She Has Strong Body Odor

As good as she looks, if she smells rotten, you probably ought to stay away.

“Maybe she just needs a wash,” you may say. But strong body odor is a significant red flag on women.

It’s not hard to keep body odor under control. Especially for women, whose body odors are not as strong and not as unpleasant as men’s. Women have stronger senses of smell than men do, too, probably because they have 50% more neurons in the olfactory centers of their brains then men do. If she smells, she can tell. So if a woman has strong, pungent B.O., it’s a loud, clear sign something is very wrong.

(some of the potential reasons, in case you’re curious: she has abandoned hygiene as a result of a bipolar mood swing; is on a drugs/booze rampage; has been having sex with random men and not showered their musks off; or she is a transsexual with strong personal musk – i.e., she is in fact a he)

#6: She is Over-Aggressive with You

You might think you lucked into a rare find with an over-aggressive woman. You didn’t even do anything to earn it, and here she is touching all up on you, rubbing her body against yours, leaning right into you, and all but shagging you in public.

If you’re hearing Admiral Ackbar in your head, you’re on the right path.

An over-aggressive woman is telling you she’s desperate, she’s drugged, she’s out of her gourd... or she has ulterior motives:

• Some over-aggressive women are trying to use you as a pawn to make their anger-prone boyfriends fly off the handle.

• Some are drunk, drugged up, and horny, and won’t remember a thing the next day (and may accuse you of taking advantage).

• Some are pickpockets or thieves, trying to distract you while they or someone else relieves you of your belongings.

• Some are bait, designed to lure you somewhere you’ll be charged outlandish prices for food or drinks.

• And some are, again, men disguised as women; transsexuals tend to be the single most aggressive type of ‘woman’ you will meet.

Regardless the reason, be extremely, extremely skeptical when a woman throws herself at you and you clearly don’t deserve it. It’s one thing if this is a girl you’ve talked to for 15 minutes and escalated on. Or if this is a girl you’ve known from social circle who’s had a crush on you for a long time, and now she’s drunk, you’re there, and she finally has her chance.

Yet it’s another thing entirely if you’ve done nothing to earn it, and suddenly here this girl is, tossing herself after you. Where that’s the case, your alarm system should be ringing.

#7: She Mentions Abuse or Rape

You’re gonna have to start charging this chick $300 an hour and make her lay on a couch if she keeps talking about this stuff.

Hit ‘eject’ the moment a woman mentions either abuse or rape around you.

Doesn’t matter how hot she is. Doesn’t matter how far along in the courtship or how close to sex.

Just get out.

Rape does happen. Abuse happens. These things are tragedies. But actual victims do not start dishing on such things with men they’ve just become acquainted with.

She may begin to talk about this casually, like just another topic. Complaining about all the abusive men in her past, for instance. Or she may use it as resistance: you touch her, and she takes your hand off and slows you down: “Hey look, I’m not comfortable going this fast. I was raped recently and I’m still working through my issues around that.”

Regardless, this is not how women who are actual victims of real abuse or women who have been forcibly sexually assaulted against their will treat these issues. If a girl is a legitimate victim of one of these, you will not hear about it before sex, usually. If you do hear about it, she will usually mention it only if you’re really digging into her history – and if she does mention it, she’ll want to get off the topic fast, and do her best to mention it has nothing to do with you.

The real red flag here is not “has she been raped/abused?” but rather “is she using a claim of rape/abuse to try to control me, get sympathy from me, or direct the courtship?”

However, it’s easy to let your little head do too much thinking here (“It seems like she’s trying to contro... No, that couldn’t be it! The poor girl is a victim. I need to comfort her. And hopefully get laid after!”). So to be safe, I strongly, strongly advise a zero tolerance “no abuse/rape victims” rule.

#8: She Behaves in a Wild, Outlandish Way

There’s going to be about 30 guys on her after this. And odds are she won’t hook up with any of them.

Yelling. Screaming. “Woo-hoo!”ing. Grabbing random guys and girls to kiss them and make out. Dancing on tabletops or the bar. Flashing her breasts (or her nethers) at people. Crying. Fighting. Laughing very loudly. Dancing maniacally. Yanking people around hard by the arm.

Any kind of general wildness like this is a big sign to keep your distance. There are a few reasons for this:

1. She is in “be wild & crazy” mode, not “find a cute guy and hook up” mode. She is not looking for what you’re looking for. Don’t waste unnecessary time with her.

2. She will continue to be crazy and unpredictable with you. That might mean you get laid. It also might mean she drags you to some dangerous club in the middle of nowhere and abandons you there. Or introduces you to a bunch of scary guys she met earlier who all want her and are willing to beat the pulp out of you to get her. It may mean she drags you around all night, until all the other girls have left, then ditches you to go home with some guy friend of hers.

3. You’re going to have to match her energy. Which means being the entertainer, not the sexy guy. And after hours of honking your nose and throwing pies in people’s faces, if you think she’s going to be turned on, you haven’t spent much time in bars yet.

4. She will attract LOTS of male attention. Men in general gravitate toward whichever women call the most attention to themselves. Women often do this simply because they like attention. It can feel real good to have loads of men around. These guys will compete with you for her constantly. Some may distract you while others pair off with her. If she’s an outlandish girl, and you’re going to go for her anyway, it’s often best to wait until she’s close to leaving... then peel her off whatever other guy(s) have been keeping her warm and ready for you. They’ll spend all the energy and make themselves look like clowns, while you swoop in at the end, still sexy, and take her off their hands. Thanks chaps.
   

These girls are usually time wasters, and often nuts. They’re probably the most common girls you’ll see in nightclubs who get guys beat up by other guys or kicked out by bouncers. Sometimes it’s because the guy got over-aggressive, but I’ve seen it happen to guys who did absolutely nothing beyond the pale – the girl is just nuts and wanted to see someone innocent get beat up or booted, then laugh about it after and feel powerful.

The wilder she is, the less you ought to want to spend any time around her. Don’t make yourself a target for this kind of girl.

#9: She Flip-Flops in Dramatic Fashion

Even she doesn’t know what her position is right now.

Women change their minds a lot. Just goes with the territory. It’s part and partial to being a female human.

What you do not want to see is a woman flip-flopping on you in a big, weird, dramatic way. For instance:

• You approached a girl, and right away she was brushing you off, sticking her hand up in your face, and telling you to buzz off. You shrug, and turn to go. Suddenly she swings back around to you, big smile plastered on her face, and tells you not to go.

• You were talking to a girl, and it seemed to be going well. Suddenly, a minute in, her smile turns into a frown and she tells you, “I don’t want to talk to you anymore. Please don’t bother me.”
  

In either case, if you see something like this, or something similar, eject.

Give her a kind smile, maybe a kind wave or a slight bow, and walk away. Don’t even say anything else.

Behavior like the first instance (where a female stranger was ice cold, then suddenly becomes extremely welcoming, in a forced kind of way) often means she’s decided she can use you or manipulate you in some way. Maybe to buy her drinks, maybe to make someone jealous, or maybe she just wants to see how far she can push you. This isn’t as dangerous, but will waste your time, and kill your momentum (or pride).

Behavior like the second instance is a lot more dangerous. This is a girl who may have been being polite for a few minutes, but is in a very negative state and can’t tolerate any more socializing and tells you she wants you gone. Or you may have said something that angered her in a big way. Regardless, she’s flipped from ‘nice’ or ‘neutral’ to ‘hostile’... and once someone turns hostile, anything else you say or any continued presence by you only raises her hostility.

Women have the power in bars; if a woman wants you beat up or kicked out, she can do it. All she has to do is complain to other men there, or to the bouncers. Don’t get in fights with women in bars. It doesn’t matter who is right. You will lose. Pick your battles wisely. Even great generals retreat from battles they know they’ll lose in. Live to fight another day. Go find another girl hotter than her, and shag that girl silly. That’s a far better revenge then saying something flip, and getting your face stomped in and night ruined.

If a girl you’ve just met does a quick flip to hostility, give her a warm, understanding smile, and bow out. She’s a predator looking for prey. Go find a woman who is a woman looking for a man instead.

You’ve kept a keen eye for red alert signs, and to your relief, she’s safe. You haven’t detected any of them. Whew. You’re not going to wind up beat up in a dumpster, or wake up tomorrow morning now equipped with your very own freshly minted stalker.

But you’re not out of the woods yet. There are six (6) ‘orange alert’ signs you need to pay careful attention to. These aren’t as much a smoking gun for psychosis as the red alert signs are... But they’re major danger signs, nevertheless.

If you see these, proceed forward... at your own risk.

#10: She Shares Strong Feminist Opinions

Looks like she’s not quite ready for the arm-wrestling competition yet.

Alek discussed this phenomenon recently in his article on it:

• When Girls Bring Up Feminism at the Bar or on Dates
  

In particular, he noted some girls will use feminist ideas as a test to see how men react and how well they hold their frames. Most women hold some degree of casual feminist philosophy (it is still en vogue among women right now, after all), and some like to troll guys by seeing how they react to it.

But these women are mostly ‘normal’ people, whose views are more flexible and really only serve the purpose of small talk, light bonding, or, sometimes, tests. I discussed the distinction between casual feminists and hardcore feminists more in this article: “Is It Ever Okay to Date a Feminist?”

The women you must watch out for are those with STRONG feminist opinions. If she’s a True Believer in the feminist cause, you’ll need to be careful with her. Her political cause comes first. If you are not, in fact, a Male Feminist Ally, and she finds this out, you may be in for lengthy (possibly inane) political debate, and no poonani. She is also much more likely to take things you say the wrong way, take offense at you, and turn hostile.

If I encounter a girl who’s seemingly a hard core feminist, my reaction is usually, “Hmm. Seems like these are pretty cherished beliefs of yours. Do you identify pretty strongly with these political ideologies?” If she says no, it’s not an identity thing, just things she thinks, I’ll say oh, okay, and change the subject to something not political in nature (i.e., like flirtation!). But if she says oh yes, it’s very important, and blah blah blah climbs on a soapbox, I’ll make a fast exit. I suggest you do too.

#11: There is a Possessive Man Around Her

“Nice try bro, but she’s all mine!”

With so many single women in the bar (or even attached ones who left their beaus at home), why would you want to go for a girl with a possessive guy pacing around her? Yet often guys do.

I get the appeal. If you win her away from this guy, it can feel satisfying. You beat him. Also, there is the blood-in-the-water phenomenon; if she’s with this guy, and he clearly doesn’t want to be there, yet he cannot get her to leave, that’s a pretty strong sign there may be a chance to steal his girl from him.

Nevertheless, what the jealous, possessive guy circling around her usually represents is a girl who love, love, loves to play games by pitting one man against another. She’d like for you and him to be the puppets in her little puppet show. She gets off on watching you compete for her, and him try to fend you off. It’s arousing for her. Usually she’s going to go home with him and have a bunch of orgasms, and you’re going to go home frustrated.

Sometimes you may find yourself in an actual confrontation with the guy. At which point you’ll need to choose whether to back down and go find a girl who isn’t being mate-guarded... or try to back this down, or get into a fight, and who knows what the outcome of that may be. Somebody gets knocked over and hits his head on the way down and has an aneurysm (as happened in a bar fight at the university I went to school at), and suddenly you’re either dead or looking at a manslaughter charge.

While you can sometimes sleep with these girls, the odds are low, and usually you will just waste time. So unless you really know what you’re doing (and perhaps even then), I advise you avoid these girls. Find a girl who doesn’t come equipped with an angry male bodyguard instead.

#12: Her Friends Do Not Like You

Ah... the telltale sneer.

Sometimes her friends are overprotective and you’ll need to steal her away from them.

However, if a girl is very into you, but her friends are very against you, the klaxons should be ringing.

The “excited girl, dubious friends” scenario often means you’re dealing with a nutty girl with a bad history with men and a habit of getting over-excited about the wrong kind of guy. Now, it can be she’s perfectly sane and for whatever reason you just happened to make a good impression on her but a bad impression on them. More often though, this is a sign her friends do not trust her judgment at all.

Bad judgment in a girl is a warning sign worth looking out for. It isn’t always a deal-breaker, but be wary.

#13: She Seems Depressed

Boozing it up to console her inner demons.

A depressed woman at a bar has a high probability of being off her rocker.

Most girls don’t go to bars when they’re depressed. The eat ice cream or call their friends.

If she became depressed after she reached the bar, even worse. There are only a few reasons that’ll happen:

• She’s having guy problems
• She’s fighting with her friends
• She got some kind of terrible news
  

None of those are things you want to be around, and they aren’t conducive to a good night on the town.

I’ve seen a lot of depressed girls in bars and nightclubs, and I’ve yet to see a stranger cheer one up and take one home. I’m sure it happens sometimes – but it’s not a regular occurrence. You’re more likely to have to deal with her dirty (emotional) laundry and get nothing in return than you are to bed this girl and be the one responsible for making her laundry – including sheets and panties – dirty.

#14: She’s a Drama Queen

There’s no reason for her to lie on the floor like this at a bar. Also, tattoos and unnatural hair color.

I don’t think this needs too much expounding.

If she’s a drama queen – if she’s being dramatic about friends, or the place, or anything – your orange alert should be going off.

She might be fine. But she’s more likely to be trouble... and not the good sort. Check out Colt’s guide on attention whores for more on this sort of girl.

#15: She is Drunk

Just the kind of gals you hope to pick up one fine evening.

Women who drink to excess have a much higher rate of a variety of “severe mental illnesses” than the general public. 33.3% of women aged 20 to 29 with such illnesses have alcohol problems, and a further 16.7% of them are addicted to drugs. The illnesses in the study linked to include:

• Schizophrenia
• Bipolar disorder
• Schizoaffective disorder
• Psychotic depression
• Atypical mental illnesses
  

There is a much higher than normal chance if you see a drunk girl in a bar or a nightclub that she is nuts. She may not be (especially in societies with cultures of drinking). But you’ll want to tread lightly.

I have six (6) more signs for you left. These are your ‘yellow alert’ signs. Most of the women you meet with them will be fairly safe... but you still need to pay attention when you encounter these signs. Sometimes, they are indicators of a larger degree of craziness that lurks just below the surface.

#16: She’s by Herself

Okay, so she’s there by herself. How come?

The lone wolf girl... all by herself. Mythical and highly sought creature by your average single male bar crawler. If you can find her, and get her all to yourself, you score an easy lay (perhaps).

The question you ask should be the same question girls ask you when you go out alone, however: why’s she by herself? There are plenty of legitimate reasons she may be out alone. The warning signs are:

• If she says she doesn’t really have any good friends: this is her telling you she fights with everyone and frightens everyone off. Trouble.
  

• If she says she just broke up and just had to get out: okay. But where are all her supportive friends? (don’t ask her that; just make a mental note of it).
  

• If she says she likes to go out by herself: I recommend using this answer yourself if you’re a guy who goes out alone. But for girls this is often a sign she picks up a lot (what other reason is there for someone to go to bars by himself... and don’t tell me the drinks or the music), and girls who pick up a lot tend to be less stable than other types.
  

• Anything else that seems to not pass the smell test.

If it’s something more mundane, like her friend left with a guy already, or her friend cancelled on her but she decided to go out anyway, she’s probably safe.

But do be cautious around girls who don’t have normal-seeming reasons for being out alone. Often means their heads are screwed on a bit less tight.

#17: She Has Feminist Friends

I’m sure all these gentlewomen have excellent senses of humor.

No, not because this means she’s a feminist herself. We already covered that possibility under our orange flags.

The problem with feminist friends is their ability to twist, warp, and redefine things. You see the world one way; her friends see it another, extremely different way. And if they don’t like you, or they don’t like how things go down between her and you, they may lean on her to bring her views inline with theirs.

Many false rape accusations happen this way. A girl sleeps with a guy, and for one of a millions reasons he leaves her with a bad taste in her mouth. She complains about it to her girlfriends... but if they’re radical feminists, looking for the rape culture boogeyman in every closet and under every bed, consensual sex she isn’t happy about after the fact sure looks a lot like ‘rape’ to them.

There are other, smaller dangers from feminist friends too... like turning your girl against you mid-courtship, or finding other ways to ruin your night.

So long as they aren’t too extreme in their beliefs, such friends won’t usually present too big an obstacle. But if you notice her friends are radical, take it as a yellow alert; a sign you should probably proceed with caution.

#18: She’s Possessive Toward You

tfw this chick tryna drag you off ain’t even your girlfriend.

If she’s only just met you, and she’s already possessive, you must be doing something right.

Well, either that, or she’s nuts.

Much of the time possessiveness is just a girl who’s less experienced in the bar scene and has found a guy she likes. The moment you see this, just get her out of there. Take her home and make love to her. If she likes you enough to feel possessive toward you, she probably likes you enough to get intimate with you.

There’s a small risk the possessive girl who goes to bed with you fast is a little nuts. But usually she won’t be too crazy.

However, there is another scenario, and that is the psycho girl who’s glommed onto you for whatever non-sexual reason. She brushes off your attempts to get her to comply, and declines to go home with you. But she won’t let you meet other girls, too.

Women like this are legitimate nutballs, and often are using you for ego validation or as a pawn in some game they’re playing (often with someone else). If you encounter this, just bow out gracefully and go meet another girl instead.

#19: She Doesn’t Want You ‘Til Other Women Do

She didn’t even notice this guy earlier. And now...

Some girls need a little jealousy to get them into gear.

It’s an effective technique. However, if a woman doesn’t want you at all until she sees other women want you, keep your antennae pricked.

Often it’s simply she hadn’t paid you much mind before. You just didn’t stand out. Yet once the power of preselection kicked in, she found you decidedly harder to resist.

What to watch out for though is women who want you just to prove a point... or just to beat the female competition. While you can certainly sleep with women like this, they’re somewhat more inclined to not like you nor treat you as well. The girls most prone to this sort of behavior often tend to be a bit ‘off’, too.

Not super dangerous, and plenty of fun to be had here. But do be mindful of the less stable mental terrain.

#20: She’s a Regular at the Bar/Party You’re At

They all come here every weekend.

This flag is purely due to the tendency of regular bar/party goers to be less stable on average than their non-partying peers. There are plenty of normal folks at bars and parties too. But among the regulars, there’s a higher element of those with screws loose.

I’ve always been more cautious with regulars. On the one hand, if you go there often, it’s potentially disadvantageous to have hooked up with a girl who’ll be there all the time... especially if you’re the sort girls get attached to easily. Last thing you want is a jealous former hookup dropping in to cockblock when you’re trying to take a new girl home.

Yet on the other hand, regulars can have a lot of different mindsets about hooking up with people they meet at ‘their’ place. Sometimes it’s better – she doesn’t want to create problems for herself at her regular venues.

Sometimes it’s worse though – if, for instance, the reason she’s a regular there is because she keeps going back looking for guys to hook up with, keeps getting ditched post-hookup, and gets nuttier and nuttier each time. If you’ve spent enough time in bars, parties, and nightclubs, you’ve seen these chicks... the girl your buddy plowed last weekend, and now she’s back this weekend trying to hook up with you. Another friend stops by and mentions he shagged her a month ago too, then warns you she’s a little crazy.

Just something to keep an eye on. Usually these girls are harmless. But you may want to take a rain check and go meet someone else... just to be safe.

#21: She’s Older and Single

She looks good for her age. But why’s she still single and looking?

At this point in time it’s pretty typical to meet women past marriageable age who still remain single. Divorce is common; women marry late. Some don’t marry at all.

But if you meet a girl who’s older and single, there are a few things to be aware of:

• The longer women are stuck being single, the nuttier they get. Unless she is a butch lesbian, she’s not good at tolerating manlessness for long. Men in our society are judged by their prowess at sleeping with women, piling up notches, and getting dates, sex, and girlfriends with beautiful women. Women are judged by their ability to lock down high quality men in committed relationships. Women who are older and single face constant (usually unspoken or implicit) scrutiny about their value from those around them. While they will usually put on a good front and have a list of cheerful-sounding reasons for why they neither have nor need a man, the fact is we are all beholden to society’s standards of us to some extent. And the more time we spend in the ‘low value bin’, the crazier we get.

• There is selection bias at play among older single women, too. Who’s more likely to be married by age 30? The nice, sane, normal girls. Who’s more likely to not get divorced? Again, the nice, sane, normal girls. You’re left with a menagerie of women that becomes increasingly skewed toward the nuts as you go older and older. The older she is and still single, the higher likelihood there is you’re dealing with a chick who’s somewhere between a little and a lot touched in the head.
  

My general advice here is to stick to dating younger women. Under 30 is usually pretty safe most countries. If you really want to be extra safe, stick to under 27.

However, if cougars and MILFs are your thing, more power to you. Just be aware of the “the older she gets while remaining single, the more likely she is to be a tad loopy” principle.

BONUS: She’s a Single Mother

Just like Junior does, you’re going to keep her up allll night.

Wasn’t sure whether to put this into the orange or yellow flag section. But yes, do be cautious with single mothers. There’s often a reason they’re single mothers, and not, say, married mothers. Or simply single and not a mother yet.

And absolutely make sure you wrap it up. She’s obviously good at getting pregnant.

Ghost on Her!

What do you do when you meet a chick who’s flipping some of your “This looks bad” flags?

Just excuse yourself: “All right, I’m going to go scout the bar out some more.” Give her a wink and walk off. And you’re a free man.

If you have buddies there, make sure to give them a heads up – not every guy is as good at reading the signs.

And remember: there are loads and loads of normal women out there. There is no reason to tie yourself to a girl who’s nuts. Don’t punish yourself like that. Talk to the cute, sane women instead.

Ciao for now,

Chase Amante

---

READ NEXT: “15 Signs a Girl Will Waste Your Time”