How to Be Vulnerable, Enchanting, and Alluring to Women | Girls Chase

How to Be Vulnerable, Enchanting, and Alluring to Women

Chase Amante

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how to be vulnerableWe've had a handful of commenters write in recently to ask about how to be vulnerable, as well as how to more fully embody Byronic traits, like those mentioned in the articles on answering "Do you have a girlfriend?" and on being a challenge to women. How do you, as a man, be vulnerable, in a way that is both appealing yet not overly sappy or saccharine?

One of these comments from a reader reads as such:

I have several girls interested in me primarily because of my flaws, and they have told me to my face that I am imperfectly perfect. I am interested in this Byronic concept. Do you try to adapt byronic traits? And can you do a post on them?

The flawed, vulnerable, Byronic romantic hero - he lines the pages of romance novels, and dots the dreams of women's hearts. But who is he, and how do you become this imperfect man that women so love to fantasize about?

The truth is, we are all of us imperfect, and that gives us an edge. The problem is, most men spend too much time either trying to cover up their flaws entirely, or indulge in them so much that they refuse to improve.

Like always, I will advise you to take the middle path, that lies at neither extreme, but the crossroads of both. Let's have a look at how you can do that.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



Balla's picture

Hey chase I didn't get to read the article yet. I wanted to ask you something before I forgot what it was, so I might ask another question about the article.

Anyway, I see that you and I are alike in many ways, which is why I like your stuff so much.
The reason why I say this is because I never really approached in my life becuase girls, did it for me, like you've stated girls did the same to you growing up. Im ok with cold approaching but Its hard for me to get in the habit. My question is,

How can I break the rustiness of cold approaching since I haven't done it in a while and do I have aa if I don't approch becuase I use too never doing it?

Quick question about a girl showing subtle interest.
I was at a club and a girl sat next too me and I can feel her foot ever so lightly tapping my calf here and there, very subtle. I moved my arm to the side of her leg to see if she would move but she stayed. I didn't open because so much time has passed that I didn't want it to be awkward and I didn't want to get my hopes up thinking about the touching.

What does my story sound like to you chase?
Should I have opened even after 20 min?
What would I say if I did open?


Chase Amante's picture


Not much more I can say on this that I haven't said a hundred times already... you've got to do it. Whether it takes you 20 milliseconds or 20 minutes, do it and get it off your plate.

There's nothing I can write here that will live your life for you or bring the things you want into it for you... you've got to do it.

And the sooner you start doing it, the sooner it'll get easier to do it, and the sooner you'll start seeing success from doing it.

But if you don't do it, you may well be hanging out on GC writing questions about how to do it forever, while other guys who go out and do it pass you by and snag the girls you liked but never did it with.

Do it, man. Talk to girls. Ask them out. Take some initiative.

It'll suck at first if you're used to being approached, but you'll get used to it, figure it out, and, after you build some experience in of being the aggressor, you'll begin to reintegrate your old style of getting women to chase, with your new style of taking action and being able to actually do something with that attention.

But you've got to do it, first. Otherwise, it's all just words on a screen.


AGuyNamedChris's picture

"live your life"
is an empty vacuous, unactionable thought terminating platitude blaming me and others for not just "living our lives:

Uh if we knew how to get the good job, or good woman, and please her, do you think we'd BE HERE?

But we don't.
Over 9000 more rejections will only get me a restraining order, or public humiliation, or beat up or stabbed by some fucking soldier boy for example.

I can't not be mushy and needy on my inside and I am a broken, broken man. My one truest need being a stupid Disney, or at least, television/movie fantasy or pipe dream to begin with.

But I can't imagine one woman I could click with enough to do it and can't imagine not attaching, le alone many.

Oh and to me THEIR looks matter.
I assure you you aren't finding GOOD LOOKING women who do NOT care about MY looks but DO care about THEIRS. Those don't exist except in a fucking brothel, I assure you. So that thumbnail over on the right? I just answered the question.

Ditto for building a "male body" when you can't force endocrinology to see you just to get legal hormone replacement therapy. And I can't afford illegalroids or get the help I need to not break myself worse. Oh thank you insanely high SHBG levels... you've been great for me since my twenties! (NOT)

By the way I have no one to ask out that hasn't already effectively said no, because everyone in my local town are jailbait, or already single moms. All the legal ones went off to college or are already engaged or married, sadly. I'm not kidding, the chicks that go to the bars here cap out at 2, maybe 3 out of 10. It's terrible and I'm unable to ever legally drive... oops. I can't very well just afford gallavanting off to every college town in the state to get rejected by women/looked at crazily by people for approaching them.

I have never escaped the "friend zone".
I can't not chase women and follow this advice.

Why do most of these reading articles contradict themselves?

Why must I literally somehow fake being someone I am not - a "positive" person, when to me, a positive is something I have enough of to spend, or someone cute to me wants to fuck me for it and gets wet because of it.

Everything else is a negative or bullshit. There, I said it.

ThatGuyChris's picture

Seriously dude, I can't fucking FORCE my brain to think in intercomplicated, complex weaves and game, or games or whatever. I'm fucking emotionally and physically goddamned exhausted as it is and having it all be MY fault on top of that is just absurd, when, there's no point to a feigned/faked/forged self or some sort of weird myriad of veneer or stuff or whatever shit you are trying to convey --- if I can't be my real authentic self instead and not have to worry about game, games, or any associated level of bullshit.

Who was this written for? Because it wasn't written for any vulnerable or broken men, I'll tell you that NOW.

Anonymous's picture

Since Chase is living his dreams, doesn't this article not apply to you then?

Chase Amante's picture

The human brain is very well designed to never be fully content. Whatever your dreams now, the moment you achieve them, your brain will begin looking for something else to achieve next.

One only lives his dreams for the first few moments of achieving them. After that, his dreams expand, and he is once again in pursuit.


Anonymous's picture

Great article I've been waiting for that for a while. I hadn't thought of adapting the damaged side of you for different groups of people, but I will have to try that. If a girl has already gone through the majority of your layers, what do you do? Is it possible to create more? Loved the article!

Chase Amante's picture


The best thing I can say about that is that you need to have a bottom "layer" (you at your absolute core) that is beyond analysis and understanding... that people could spend a lifetime trying to figure out and still not be able to predict what you'll do.

The biographies of Steve Jobs and Tupac Shakur are like that. Here are these driven, dynamic, crazy ambitious guys, whom you can't plan around or predict. They do things unexpectedly, and the things they do are unexpected because nobody can completely get inside their heads.

Women will try to figure you out. If they ever do, the interest is gone.

I don't know how to teach it just yet, but the only thing I can say about the lowest level is "be complex."

In fact, start off seeming simple on the surface, and just get more and more complex as she digs down. Make your core something she can dig into forever and never reach the bottom of. But to do that, you must have something driving you and motivating your actions that is of great importance to you... without that, you're easy to figure out: like most people, you just want comfort and happiness. To stay complex, you need to be something more than most people.


Jin Li's picture

I have to say I disagree.

I found your article while googling the Byronic hero. I just had a text conversation with my girlfriend who I was breaking up with and out of nowhere I reveal I had the same traits as the Byronic hero. I notice here interest started shooting up almost immediately. I was wondering why she got so interested was why I was googling it.

You can be complex at the core. But eventually I think people will figure you out sooner or later. The best strategy imo is to constantly keep evolving into a higher self so that no one will every be able to figure you out.

Anonymous's picture

Fascinating article. Gives me a lot to think about. I often feel as though I open up and give too much information too early on.

Anonymous's picture

You know, my approach used to be "spill my beans" because I just always had an impatient personality. I want to know the answers and I want to know them NOW! No waiting. So my subconscious used to try and make it easy for girls by not making them wait to discover me. My attraction levels aren't affected that much by a mysterious woman vs another woman who is less mysterious and auto-shares her life with me... as long as she is interesting! But that's me!

The epiphany is, I can't attract women thinking that they see the world like I do... I must adapt and see the world as THEY do to attract THEM! Also, I must be more patient with women and let them warm up to me.

And so I will say after recounting reading novels, and thinking on how authors would "bait" me into dying to know more... I'd automatically start reading more intensely, heart starting to throb, hoping to get the answer! I became excited! So now I can see why women are more intrigued by the guy who uses baiting as a technique to inspire their curiosity, to inspire them to take off his masks.

As a matter of fact now that I've started paying more attention, I see women baiting me all the time in ever-so-subtle ways to "inspire me" to ask them out or invite myself over to their house, etc. It's fascinating how these things work out!

Splendid article man.

Chase Amante's picture


Fantastic observation on the novels and on how women comport themselves in interactions. Yes, baiting's an inherent part of both strategies - the ones that are good, that keep you turning the pages faster and faster, or delving into her background more and more, are the ones that give you a taste, but not the full meal, until you're well into things.

And the deeper you go, the more intriguing leads and paths keep cropping up, making it a richer and richer and more exciting and more rewarding experience.


LoverBoy's picture

Hi Chase,

I'm surprised at the amount of rich resources i find here. And each article have their amazing points which really opens up a person's mind. It's like "Wow, I just read something that's worth a piece of gold".

However, as i kept reading, it seems like there's an information overload.

Mr. Ricardus and yourself kept stressing about the Fundamentals, Fundamentals and more Fundamentals.

However, With so MUCH information, and I know each and every piece is golden, can you let the readers know what's exactly are the MAIN Fundamentals?

Because each articles here seems to tell me ALL of them are fundamentals and that's way too much for a beginner like me to start! I dun even know where to focus on!

Are the Fundamentals includes being presentable? able to deep dive and keep woman interested? First impression? etc?

I'm sure many readers here (especially starters like myself) will really appreciate if you could list out the "main" fundamentals which we can immediately work on.

Thank you so much for the insights on the art of seducing, will definitely purchase your book when I'm at a more advanced level, I've been wanting to practice this but couldn't find a reliable web which gives me the in-depth insights which you and Ricardus has present here. Both of you are Low-Esteem Men Life Savior.


Chase Amante's picture

Hey LoverBoy,

Sure thing. Three resources for you:

  1. How to Get a Girl: this is more or less the GC version of "New? Start here." It's a quick list of the more core concepts and techniques, to get you going.

  2. How to Find the Woman You Most Want: A 10-Step Process: a much longer article that breaks many of the former articles on the site down into categories, to give you a rough idea about what goes where and what to read when you want to target different areas for improvement.

  3. How to Make Girls Chase: the eBook designed as the learning companion for the guy who wants to get good with women, with everything broken down into digestible chunks, with actionable steps and homework assignments to get you out there doing it.

If you use these well, you should find yourself able to tackle the site with a lot more ease and a lot less confusion.


Flames's picture

I have 17 those traits, does that make me imperfectly Byronic? ;)

It's an interesting topic, but I'm going to have to read it a few more times I think.


Chase Amante's picture

Just means you've got one more to go until you're perfectly Byronic, Flames!


Qd6's picture

"Rather, he's the dreamer who dared to dream big once, but life has tempered his grand ambitions. Yet still, somewhere back in the dusty recesses of his mind, he dreams."

Haha, you cannot imagine how many times I've felt this way about a certain activity in my life. Seems like the only problem I have is that I reveal this to men and not women I'm interested in :)

The Dude's picture

Shit... I think I have all of those traits. Yeah, they make it easy to attract women, but hard as fuck to get and hold down a good job. I am who I am, and don't see myself changing a lot, but this whole Byronic thing is a blessing and a curse.

Chase Amante's picture

Indeed... the whole independence-seeking, authority-bucking tendencies do make it hard to swallow life in the 9-to-5 world, Dude... blessing and curse, depending on which sphere of life you're examining it in.

However, it might be said that Byronic traits make you perfect as an entrepreneur.

Not the best company man. But perhaps the best man to start that company. Worth exploring when you're trying to figure out what comes next.


Lanoa's picture

Looks like I am not exactly Byronic ... lucky for me it isn't black and white so I still got some good qualities to be working on, guess I am imperfectly Lanoic in study ;)

Regardless, this insight provided me with yet another viewpoints and realities of vulnerability in seduction, been analyzing a lot of this stuff recently. Definitely harder than routines that go a long way, but hard work and resulting authenticity go farther. I still have a lot to do to be really natural at these, but I count on it being worth it.

Thanks for the article,

Chase Amante's picture


Yeah, any time you tackle the "skill-based" side of things instead of learning a script or a specific gambit, it takes longer. However, it's loads more flexible... that's the trade off.

More specific stuff is easier to pick up and use right away, but its usefulness is usually pretty limited. Skill-building takes more time... but once you've got it, it branches out into and positively impacts everything you do.


Anonymous's picture

Chase, great article.
Think you could do one on how women think? Or where women would like to meet men, or where we can already have a advantage in that women are already there-to look for men.

Chase Amante's picture

Hi Anon,

There are a number of articles on different aspects of how women think on here - e.g.:

... but I suppose you mean one more along the lines of, "A day in the life off..."?

Women aren't totally different creatures than men, they're just under different constraints that direct how they think about and move through the world (e.g., more waiting and hoping than most men, which is why they put so much more emphasis on "destiny" than men do - they're less in control of their lives than a strong man is of his - more passive-aggressiveness and blaming, because they need someone to take care of them and become disenchanted when he fails, etc.).

Maybe one highlighting the key ways that women's thought processes differ from men's would be most useful. I'll add it to the list!


Vaughn 's picture

Hello chase, I read somewhere that over reading can be counter productive.
Ex. I keep reading your articles but I don't apply what I read and I just keep on reading gaining knowledge, but never testing it. Is that true chase? Is all this reading of your articles making it more difficult for me not to approch? What should I do?
Thank you!!!

Chase Amante's picture


It could be, if you're using reading as an excuse not to go out. Like, "Well, I don't feel like going out... I know, I'll go read some GC instead!"

When I was learning, I'd post on message boards to share my experiences, get feedback, and help other guys with stuff I'd already done / learned. But periodically, I'd find myself finding more and more time there, and going out less and less. So, once or twice a year, I'd simply leave for at least a month, then go out and make ALL my learning in the field.

Basically, you say, "Okay, I've learned enough for now; it's time to go do it," then you spend time away from new information and just put to practice all the older information that you've learned. Once you start doing so well and really crank up your success and things are going great, then (at least with forums) you often want to return to start sharing all the new things you've learned, help out more guys, and get that stuff inked out so that you'll remember it better. Then, you slowly cycle back into more reading and less doing, until you reach another point where it's time to stop reading and time to start doing again.


lucifer's picture

Probably you don't want to share this publicly and it's fine, but I'll try anyway :).

What nickname were you using and where were you posting?

Funman's picture

Hi Chase,

1) What is your opinion about a girl sharing her vulnerable story with us?

2) How can a girl show her vulnerable side to us on a date?


Chase Amante's picture


The more someone feels you know her, the more connected to you she feels. So you want her sharing her vulnerable sides with you.

To get that happening, check out these:


ashutosh's picture

Hey chase does this mean acceting your flaws and showing to women that you are also vunerable. Will it not make you less dominant and does it mean not to master anything or mastering yourself to be a byronic man?
Im little confused would like to get your thoughts on this...

Chase Amante's picture

Hey Ash-

I think the part you're getting confused on is the idea of flaws. The Byronic hero either is flawed, and others see it, but he doesn't think he is at all, OR he's flawed, and tells others he's flawed, but he's also SO POWERFUL that these flaws only serve to make him more human.

e.g., an average guy saying, "Oh, I'm flawed!" looks weak. A guy who's clearly strong and dominant and powerful says, "I'm flawed... stay away from me, you'll only get hurt," on the other hand, makes women swoon.

It's more a matter of making yourself more relatable and having chinks in the armor in the right places than it is of removing your dominance. What flaws you have should be in addition to you being a strong, dominant man - the flaws complement this, rather than tear it apart, as they do with non-powerful personas.


Walls's picture

Awesome article, Chase! I've been working on being like this for a bit.

James Dean is the ultimate Byronic hero. His middle name was even Byron. People say he was moody, rebellious and arrogant. He was in three films and is still remembered today as one of the best. I still can't wrap my mind around how. The guy was just awesome. Jim Morisson seems like one of these types of dudes too.

But anyways, I have a lot of those traits... but doesn't cynicism fly in the face of being Romantic? A lot of them fly in the face of your teachings. Not a criticism, but an observation.

Chase Amante's picture


Early death of someone in the midst of a skyrocketing career tends to lionize and mythologize people. Look at JFK, Tupac, Biggie, Elvis, Houdini, Marilyn Monroe, John Lennon, Bruce Lee, Jimi Hendrix, MLK Jr., and a great deal more. In many cases, these folks were great, but they had other peers who were quite good too. Getting struck down in your prime - as Dean did - fills people's heads with, "What if?"s "What if he didn't die? Imagine all the wonderful things he probably would have done!" In reality, his career trajectory would've gone the same way as any of his peers, and petered out just the same, and he would've been remembered, but never as much as if he dies early. "You're nobody 'til somebody kills you," to quote B.I.G., a few months before somebody killed him.

Cynicism... depends how it's manifested. A little cynicism can be good - it's effective in humor. Too much is bad. The powerful, attractive, grumpy cynic can be alluring to some women - e.g., Wolverine in the X-Men movies, or Han Solo in Star Wars. A dynamic woman sees him sees him more as a tough nut to crack, rather than a bad apple to be avoided. Of course, not all women respond to this - only the ones who REALLY love a challenge. She wants to melt his heart and turn him into a romantic (which he can only sort of ever be).

But, many women reading books and movies like to imagine they are that girl. So this character makes it in there a good bit. In real life there aren't quite so many of these girls, but if you like them, being a bit cynical makes it easier to land them.


The M's picture

Hey Chase,

On point #3, what should I do if I don't have any shocking stories, accidents, or personality changes to mention?

Isn't it enough to just be intriguing (points #1, 2, and 4) and humble without being "damaged"? For instance, everything you described in your "bad boys" article doesn't involve being Byronic or having unexpected stories to tell - it was just about fundamentals/conversation skills/etc.

I also don't really have any of the negative Byronic traits (jaded and world-weary, etc.) except sometimes for "emotionally conflicted or moody." Do I need to tell girls more about my doubts and fears? I tend to be clam-shelled on those - it feels weak and negative and I don't really want to talk about such personal things...

And is it possible to develop those other Byronic traits that I don't currently have? I suppose I could try to get more in touch with my arrogant or rebellious or world-weary side...but that just feels like breaking something that wasn't broken.

The M

Chase Amante's picture


That's a hard one. All I can really say there is, "It depends."

Being "damaged goods" tends to heighten women's excitement and arousal for you. You're less qualified as a boyfriend, but more so as a lover, something in the way that scars and tattoos also increase lover potential. They're signs you've endured pain, battles, and other hardship, and come out on the other end unbroken - a sign of high genetic quality. In many species, research shows scarred males getting better receptions from females, and having higher levels of reproductive success. I saw one study (I think it was with bullfrogs) where the researchers basically took some male frogs, gave them a big nasty scar along their heads, and then put them in tanks with other male frogs and female frogs. The scarred frogs, equal in all other ways to the unscarred ones, out-mated the unscarred frogs.

Without damage, you're basically "cute but untested." The world hasn't chewed you up and spit you back out yet, so you're a bit of question mark on how you'd take that and how strong you REALLY are.

Your options are to seek out adventure wherever you can find it, to develop that world-weariness and battle-testedness about you... or to simply work on other aspects of your game and personality.

It depends how far you want to go, and the kinds of women you're going for. All women like mildly damaged men more (obviously, if you're missing arm or you've just been sentenced to 20 years in prison, that's probably a disadvantage), but you can also stack up advantages in other corners and use those to outweigh a damaged guy who lacks some of your other advantages.

The more in-demand the women you pursue, though, and the stiffer the competition, the more you need every edge you can get - so plan based on what the women you're meeting and the competition you're up against looks like.


Mike's picture

I have this same “problem” women will tell me I’m cute handsome and other attractive traits, but I just always live my life as a perennial optimist and have never been a control freak or any of these temperamental traits.  

Funny listening to Halsey recently and from what I saw her and G Eazys relationship was the savior girl and bad guy to a T played out irl  

I was thinking maybe talking about how I have a bit of a strained relationship with my mom, but it seems girls that I’ve talked to always use that as a question to test if you’re ACTUALLY a bad guy. I would guess girls can understand doing bad things but if you don’t get along with your mom, another female important to you, big red flag?



Flames's picture

It's the same way the people find a symmetrical face more appealing, but at the same time a face without any imperfections looks completely unnatural, the way the old CGI characters looked before the created powerful software to create imperfections to the models.


Chase Amante's picture


Exactly. That's called "uncanny valley" in the realm of artificial intelligence, where something is close enough to real that it doesn't seem totally fake, but not close enough that it seems real, and instead it just freaks people out and throws off their alarm bells; I almost used that term in this post in describing the "too perfect man," actually.

Great minds think alike, ay? ;)


CainX's picture

Hi chase,

Nyc post...on the byronic male.

This is my first time to post a comment on one of your blog posts and i would like to say that the site has been a great help to me.Things that were blurry to me before are now clearer and more vivid.Thanks, mann!

On to my question...Could you put up a post on Tough women, Bisexuals and Lesbians?

This is because, am the kind of guy who's attracted to the imperfect perfect girl. One who doesn't try hard to impress. and is beautiful from the outlook, without too much make up, doesn't try to cover up her behaviour, goes for what she likes, kind of arrogant but you can see that she has (or once had) a good heart..and is fun to hang out with.

The problem with such girls it seems, is that they have either had too much to life and just have trust issues, which makes it very hard to move things forward with. Coming from a country where sexual abuse to young girls has been an issue in the past, some girls have become either cynical, become tough, turned to lebianism or even become bisexual (or claim to have) .

So how would help on the getting of tough girls or even bisexual girls?


Chase Amante's picture


Great to hear the site's helped clear some blurred lines. That's fantastic.

On the tough women / bisexual women / lesbians, sure - I'll add it to the list.

While you're waiting, we discussed this on the Boards already, and I gave a brief reply there:

Re: Lesbians?

I'll go more into it when I can get a proper article up on it, though.


A.J.'s picture

Hey Chase I've been thinking a lot lately about what being charming actually consists of. I know a lot of the stuff on this site will definitely turn you into a charming individual but I wanted to know if you could do a comprehensive post on what it really means to be charming. Any help is appreciated.

-dedicated reader
- A.J.

Chase Amante's picture

Hi A.J.-

That's actually one of the posts near the top of my list - someone asked about it back in November, and I have it written down there and cued up. The only thing slowing me down is it's going to be a MASSIVE article when I can get around to it, and I've been doing a lot of running around lately and running on the wire. Want to make sure I'm fresh, relaxed, and have a lot of time to dive into it and give it a proper treatment when it's time to tackle an article on charm.

But trust - it is coming!


Jj's picture

Hey chase

Fantastic read! A common thought keeps crossing my head as I try to apply what I learn. That is how to have friends introduce you to their friends you think are cute. Basically how to hook you up? I am in college so my friend has a friend who has a friend. I don't know whether or not to have the friend make the introduction or I should go right up to the girl and make an introduction. I guess direct vs social proof? Also should you ever have your friend ask the girl your interested in directly about you before you go and talk to her?

Chase Amante's picture

Hi JJ-

Yes, you do want your friend to introduce you (makes things easier for you; plus, it's weird if she finds out you know her friend later, but had to come meet her on your own anyway), however you want to make sure it's under natural (i.e., non-high pressure) circumstances.

So no contrived, "Hey Jessica, this is my friend JJ, he's really cool, and I thought you two should meet." Rather, what you want is for a natural social setting, where your friend is already talking to the girl, and you happen to come by and hang out coolly to the side, and then you friend introduces you.

Mind the rules in this article, and you should be fine:

The Secret to Hooking Up with Friends

Oh, and definitely no, do NOT have the friend ask the girl about you first. That'll just tell her you like her but are too afraid to say something yourself. She shouldn't have any clue you even knew she existed before you say "hi."

You can tell her after you've already been dating and sleeping with her a few months and she sees you as firmly a solidly attractive man... then it's fine if she finds out you had your eye on her!


Charlie's picture

Man, you are really good. I'm a detail guy. An analyzer. The way you put information out sinks right into me. I can't thank you enough for your work. Here's to being a byronic man!

Anonymous's picture

I stumbled upon this site one lazy day, just typing in google "how to be more attractive". Was just curious and really wasn't looking for anything. I found this site, read my first post and went "Wow"and after some weeks of reading this one hit the "so that's how I gotta do it" nail. This is like the bible for this stuff man. It really has helped and it was like I had a pool of what I thought I should do and you refined it into something magical. I wish I'd seen it sooner too. Anyways I wanted to throw a thanks and keep em comin.

lucifer's picture

Hey Chase,

I was wondering, once you drop those first baits and lay off the first layer, chances are you'll get an interest spike and she'll want more.

How to deflect those answer to avoid giving it all up in a few minutes?

To follow your example:
My old town was great, but after 4 years there I felt like I'd done everything there was to offer. I need something more."

How to avoid answering things like "what have you don, what do you need more, have you found it... ".
These questions would go deeper and deeper and would peel you off sooner than you might have wanted.

ScottyJ's picture

So I've recently been reading a lot of your articles and putting your information to use (body posture not only seems to increase my attractiveness and the amount of looks I get, but I FEEL more confident holding myself up too!), but something in this article struck me as somewhat opposite of a few of my experiences.
I suffer from clinical depression, but through therapy as a teenager I ended up being alright. The last couple years have been a decline for me in terms of mental health, but several weeks back I kind of had one of those life turning point moments. That's when I started reading self improvement materials and stumbled on your site (the mastery article, not even your dating advice!), and I've been making great strides in life improvement and I am FEELING like I can accomplish anything I want now.
So as women are peeling away my layers in conversation, I reveal that I have had lots of difficulty with self image and sadness etc in the past but I had this turning point and now I'm happy and excited for life and I'm never going to stop improving. This is sort of the opposite of the "used to be idealistic, but is now realistic" trait you mentioned in the article, but women seem to really like it and find it inspiring, and a couple have said "wow, you inspire ME to be better". It seems to work for me, can you comment? Am I still realistic because I seem to have been through a lot and now I know what needs to be done?

Slytherin's picture

Hello Chase, would you suggest any mainstream novels where the protagonist portrays Byronic traits?
Very informative article BTW!


Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase your material is awesome, it has improved my results. I fit into some of the byronic traits but I want to become great with women but I don't know if I fit into the byronic traits which are obvious to women. Clearly some of the traits won't stand out until you get chatting, but I would prefer if women appear more interested before even speaking with me. Which traits do you think are most outwardly visible to women?

I can imagine arrogance would come at the top but by nature I am confident but not arrogant. Do you think it would be a good idea to act arrogant and try and become more arrogant?

Mr grey's picture

Hi chase I am a grave follower of your teachings. Im eighteen now and recently became a teacher. My second week I was approached by a colleague
I deepdived her easily and found out that she's married but still offered to take her out to which she happily accepted she started touching me like crazy after but I'm young and broke so I can't rent a hotel until I get paid next month I'm willing to move fast but logistics and cash is not in my favor and im not sure if attraction will die within the month any suggestion is welcomed because I don't want to move wild and blow this you have no idea how you changed my life thank you for everything

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