With certain types of relationships, don’t expect things to go back to business as usual after she returns from a vacation or is away from you very long.
Over the years as you grow in the game and experience more women, you see many patterns in male and female dynamics. Men and women have different agendas. A woman’s ultimate agenda is to find and keep a provider, especially one who is high-value (but still attainable) and one she can commit to monogamously.
Monogamy is virtually the only acceptable social frame for a woman as far as dating and relationships go. Other relationship models likely don’t fit so well with the world view held by her family, friends, and peers. So she most likely always has the monogamy goal in mind, despite what she’s doing with a guy or guys in the moment.
If you’re in a committed, monogamous, and stable relationship that’s going well (this is an important condition distinction), you might not experience the pattern I describe below. Similarly, if you’re dating a girl but haven’t yet slept with her, you might be able to avoid this situation. Finally, if she already has a provider, you’re just having sex, and she’s not emotionally intertwined, you can escape unharmed.
However, for nearly every other scenario, a girl taking a vacation without you equates to the impending doom of whatever it is you have going with her. I’ve found that when a girl you’re seeing takes a vacation — like a 1-2 week vacation to a faraway place — there’s a good chance you won’t see her again. At least your relationship can fundamentally change once she returns from her trip.
This concept applies mostly to these setups:
- F-buddies
- Friends with benefits
- Open relationships
- Multiple long-term relationships (mLTRs)
- Rocky monogamous relationships
- Just started dating, five dates or less
It’s also true regardless of how much you both communicate with each other during the trip. This naturally tends to dip a little during trips per the nature of the above setups.
It can be a strange phenomenon to observe. But we have to remember that when a woman sees you regularly, she feels emotionally tied to you, especially if you’re giving her a great experience.
This fades away once she experiences a little distance.
Comments
Saying farewell beforehand to her could be a solution?
Hi Varoon
You just described all the breakups I have experienced in my life both ways: when SHE OR MYSELF went away for holidays
I have a question for you in order to meditate and try to save our future relationships: What if previous to depart you look her with sad eyes, give her a big hug and tell her “Has been nice meeting you…I” ll never forget…you know that when won`t see each other. I wish you the very best”
Saying something like that in a meaningful way you are saying farewell to her. I think she may remain puzzled and perhaps she will try to re-engage the relationship when she`s back.
What do you think?
Thanks for a great posting Varoon
Falling out - try to fix it
I recently had this happened to me, and since it's the very first time it happened it really put me through the ringer. We had first date sex and it all went so good that I said to myself this girl like me, I like her too, we will continue dating.
But she went to Colombia for 20 days the next day from our date and although we texted throughout the trip ( she also send me a couple of nudes), she dodged all my requests for dates (Up to now I have done 4 requests).
Yesterday I found an excuse to call her, so I can have a bonding call with her. It seemed to go pretty well. We talked for about 20 minutes, and I did all the things Chase suggests for a bonding call.
I plan to call her again next week, because I leave for a business trip tomorrow and will be back Monday and I'll ask her out.
We'll see how it goes. I was thinking, that if she refuses again to confront her in a chill way and ask her something like:
"Hey, has something happened?I mean we get along pretty well but it'd gotten too difficult to meet again, so I guess there is something up"
What do you think about that Varoon?
Cheers, John
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