Conventional Ideas Beget Conventional Results – How to Go Beyond | Girls Chase

Conventional Ideas Beget Conventional Results – How to Go Beyond

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conventional ideas conventional results
If you do what ‘they’ do, you get what ‘they’ get – but it may not be what you want. If you want more than conventional, you have to get unconventional.

I was just having coffee with an old friend of mine who recently moved back to town. We were talking about his experiences with dating in a city on the US west coast where he didn’t find the quality of girls that attractive or interesting – for the last couple of years, he’s been longing to move to New York City and start a new journey with more attractive girls. I knew he worked many hours each week and spent little time learning “socially unconventional” paths to meet women.

Learning seduction, game, and pickup is one of those unconventional paths that people dream about but few implement, usually out of fear of social repercussion and shame. Yet, my friend did tell me that he attends meet-up groups, speed dating events, and social mixers to meet women – and didn’t like any of the women he met. He tried to enter new social circles and join activities with like-minded people, and he still didn’t meet a girl he liked.

Conventional dating advice that he followed told him that he should look in these places to find single women he clicked with. Much to his disappointment, after attending many events, he was puzzled as to why he didn’t meet any women he clicked with.

Why did so many people tell him to go to these events to try and find women, he asked? My response to him was pretty straightforward – conventional ideas and solutions lead to conventional results. And that clicked with him immediately.

Recently we had a poster on the Girls Chase forums discussing cold approach pickup – namely, his lack of experience with it. This poster does quite well for himself as it is – he uses a calibrated, sexy, don’t-give-a-damnalpha guy approach in dating apps such as Tinder.

After spending years working on his profile, pictures, message style, and portraying himself as an attractive man on the apps, he tells us that sex with girls who are 6-8s on the scale and who are his type come pretty easy to him.

At this point it’s so easy, he doesn’t even find the desire to pursue these women at times. He’s so good at this game that it started to get boring, and he feels that it’s netted him the highest ROI when coupled with the good pictures and profile he’s put together. He noted that he can go out with and bang an above average looking girl at least every other week – because, according to him, on dating apps the intentions are super clear.

I was in the school of thought that cold approaching was dead or just an overall low return on investment. Lately, I have incorporated so much into my life in regards to dating and women that I don't really have that urge and killer instinct to want to cold approach hot girls. Online dating has spoiled the crap out of me, my hobbies provide opportunities, and social circle game is starting to slowly take off for me. In many ways, I don't need cold approach…

Yet, he also acknowledges that cold approaching is one of the few ways to realistically get the most attractive women on the higher end of the looks scale outside of his lifestyle and social circle game – and that is one of the ceilings in online dating, even though it’s comfortable and men are happy with screwing 7s.

In the past months, I realized that I was getting girls who were solidly above average and cute. Due to hobbies, dating apps, and a host of other things, I noticed that I got quality, but it was not top tier like I wanted. The closer I approached to an 8, the more I realized that only two things were going to give me opportunities: social circle and cold approach.

To my surprise, he used this perspective to justify his lack of effort in learning cold approach, calling it a lottery without the opportunity to get a suitable ROI, and that the apps seemed superior to cold approaching as a result. The argument here was that cold approaching is so out of touch with what other people around us do, that you’d have to be completely clueless socially to only use that method to meet women.

Well, then you have my story. I’ve spent the last 6-8 years (depending on perspective) focusing on learning cold approach dating methods – specifically, day game and approaching women in any environment in New York City, especially on the street, in subways, and coffee shops. I’m consistently able to get several phone numbers a day, several dates a week, and theoretically sleep with almost all the women I go on a date with. The numbers at the moment are quite fascinating – I’ll have more to share on this soon.

From my own perspective, the ROI of cold approaching has far exceeded what I have ever achieved through any other method I’ve tried – whether through social circles, dating apps, online dating, and more. In fact, a couple of years ago I relied heavily on dating apps to meet women – and quit because it was making me lazy about learning cold approach to get the girls of quality I truly wanted. Part of this was about finding a system that works well for what I want; the other part has just been about truly following an unconventional idea.

Varoon RajahAbout the Author: Varoon Rajah

A New York City native, Varoon’s studied under many of the seduction industry’s leading instructors. His specialty is direct day game, where he meets girls on the street, on the subway, and in coffee shops. Varoon is the host for the Girls Chase Podcast, available on iTunes or via SoundCloud.



Zanardi's picture

Come to take a look at my life in the last 10-12 years (I am 35 now) and I see that I got exceptional results when I didn't follow the beaten path:

  1. After college, most people got a job. I also got a job, loathed it, then got a Master's Degree and a PhD in Chemical Engineering. Now I work as a lecturer at the Uni that I graduated, my former professors are now my colleagues (social proof level 99), I love this job and I have (almost) all the freedom in the world;
  2. While other people got loans from the banks to buy a house, I raised money and I bought and paid entirely my own apartment. Bye-bye financial problems;
  3. I met my current girlfriend doing daygame (street game to be more precise). Beside the actual girl, I have the piece of mind that, if we split up, all I have to do is to keep cold approaching (which I still do) and repeat the process.

Varoon, you're God damn right with this article.

Although I think I know the answer, I still ask you: in the article I found this phrase:

The closer I approached to an 8, the more I realized that only two things were going to give me opportunities: social circle and cold approach.

Do you agree with him? 

Varoon Rajah's picture

Hey Zanardi,

I'm so glad to hear of your success. Having also quit the beaten path recently in my life, I am also now seeing the rather exceptional results of such decision making. It's probably most apparent in the world of women, but now it's equally apparent in my business and career life as well!

What's also cool about cold approach is that once you learn the steps once, you can take them and repeat them at will in the future. It takes just one time to get the full process right to figure out the end game. I'd say that's applicable to any process - and cold approach is no different.

To your question about getting girls who are 8's or higher - there are different schools of thought on this to be honest. I happen to be of the attitude that cold approach (in day game and in night game) and social circle are the best means to get girls who are 8+ on the quality scale. However, there are also other men out there who have done well on tinder and dating apps, and even online dating, who have reported equally good results. I would thus say that it really depends on what system you're good at - a super good looking guy with great online game and great pictures can find 8+'s on tinder, etc too - but from what I've seen this is far more rare and difficult than the guy who does the same from cold approach. Social circle seems to be all over the place, at that point it really just depends on your value.


Zanardi's picture

It makes sense of what you say. I am not a good day gamer (not even close to good), but I see that you don't have to reach mastery to get results.

Re-reading your article, I noticed that I began to have the same pattern as in your beer analogy. Budweiser reached Romania, but it is nothing comparing to Romanian home beer or artisanal beer (I drank in Budapest an Irish beer called Dead Rabbit. 100 times better than commercial beer, Bud included). I see the same pattern in other fields: a friend of mine got a simple wrist band with pulse, step count and whatnot, while I see myself drooling over Garmin smartwatches and I will buy a Garmin bike computer (I love riding my bike and one of these toys will help me a lot, even if I am a serious amateur, not a pro). I had to raise money for it, but it is much more satisfying for me than a simple Xiaomi.

Beside the actual girl, I have the piece of mind that, if we split up, all I have to do is to keep cold approaching (which I still do) and repeat the process.

Actually, I meant peace of mind

Looking forward to your continuation of the series.

Varoon Rajah's picture

I've seen total newbies do well with cold approach to be honest - sometimes surprisingly so. A guy I'm coaching actually picked up a girl and took her home after a date after just three or four weeks of learning. The curve to mastery is definitely difficult, but not everyone needs to be a master to get what they really want!

But on my end, I'm definitely going for mastery - as frustrating as it can be sometimes to put in that much effort into the learning process.

Love your comparision to beer and watches in Romania - I think those are solid, Zanardi!


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