Tactics Tuesdays: How to Pick Up Girls Who Are Out to Be Seen | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Pick Up Girls Who Are Out to Be Seen

Chase Amante

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girl out to be seenThere's a certain kind of girl you'll meet when you frequent social venues.

These girls are out for a specific purpose: they want to be seen.

They want people to see them: how good they look, how popular they are, how in-demand.

Any kind of social venue will have women like this:

  • Nightclubs have them
  • Lounges have them
  • Bars have them
  • Parties have them
  • Wine tastings have them
  • Art gallery events have them
  • Charity events have them

Now, you might at first think if a girl is out to be seen, she's not a worthwhile prospect for a night of bedroom delights. Yet that's not always the case. The psychology of a girl like this is one of seeking validation. She desires the validation of 'being seen'... she wants others to see her, think well of her, and admire her.

In some cases, you can turn this drive of hers for validation directly to your advantage, and become a source of validation she pursues. In other cases you can serve as a kind of reprieve from the pressures of validation-seeking; one she can run off with later on in the night once she's quenched her thirst for validation.

Today we'll talk about some tactics to use to bring these types of girls to bed.

But first, we should explain whom these women are and what's happening in their heads a little bit more.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



Stefzzxxyy's picture

The nuances of social life are mind blowing, you Chase deserve recognition for your clear exposition and analysis of complex social phenomena.

Alexander Abraham's picture

You just explained some questions I had with some dancing places (swing, Latin, ballroom and etc.)

The regulars, the dancers, were always tough for me to get because I never bothered to build any status. Other than being able to dance, of course. That alone wasn't enough. 

Meanwhile, the girls who showed up and would likely never be seen again would glom onto me. Some were also out to be seen girls but their version of high status was different .anyone who could dance was high status to them .

Grrr I need to get back to the city lol

Thanks Chase, this article just explained a lot! Including at coffee shops and other places like that. 

Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

Thanks for this article. It clarifies some good issues with handling girls. I feel I can relate. I mean we prop up our fundamentals and look good, so we are noticed and so we can meet girls. 

However, our hesitation isn't because of "can't properly measure this guy's status" but more approach anxiety or what not. And then we warm up and near the end of our outing, we're a beast.

Btw, you used night game here. But does the same thing apply to day game and would the solution you laid out be different? Since some girls out daygame will also "want to be seen" but won't be measuring status (as club game) or stick around for a long time (as night game does). In fact, the girls who are down to quick lays are girls who wear a t-shirt at a night club and comes by at the beginning. 

If I remember your clubbing article, you also recommend to go early because that's when girls who are down to lay are going to be there, and don't stay till late night when men are drunk and getting more aggressive (girls knowing this will also start leaving). How does that tie with this article's step for "end of the night"?


Re: When she / or your pals nag you

How do we respond in either situation? I gave some examples to illustrate what I mean below.

Some examples:

Friend: How are you? You don't know so good.

I know there are worse, but can't think of another example for pal thing.

I usually just say "Anyways..."

Are these still considered "tests" when our guy friends say it? I usually just brush it aside.

Girls nagging example (some I heard from others) and how to handle her tests

1. Guy: I offered her help but she ran off

Her: Can't really blame her for running from a guy with your looks. 

Guy: ...

I would probably say "And here we are, staying still" in a playful and wink tone

2. Said teasingly

Her: So John wins the night (WWE) match, I guess you think you're the big man now?

John: Some reply

Her: Well, I bet nothing about you is particularly big

John: No way, blah blah

So he failed her test. But then what would we say then? It is sexual innuendo and we shouldn't insult her back. Then...

Girl: Or maybe you don't... ride much

John: ...


3. Another good performance (presentation or performance of any stage spotlight)

Girl: The ladies were a little disappointed in your... (Leaning in and talking by your ear) performance tonight, John. (Touching your chest with her finger) But you must get that a lot (Walks past you)

Another sexual innuendo, but more flirty with more nonverbal from her. Though might not make a difference (flirting means nothing)


Re: A similar taste but not exactly the same - When a girl teases you that builds you in a bad light (not outright insult but subtle)


When I leave home late and decide to drive instead of taking the bus

Her: (sees me) Going for the car instead of the bus today? (in a knowingly tone and body language)

Me: Yeah, I feeling naughty and wanted to help out global warming today

I just thought of that response now as I'm typing this. I actually said "I could take the bus, but don't feel like it"


Now those were only a handful of examples. There are numerous out there and we would write libraries if we are listing them out.  Any rule of thumb that help adapt for coming up responses for varied but similar situations?

Thanks Chase!



Chase Amante's picture


There are few places to go to be seen during daytime. Maybe some charity events or concerts or sporting matches. But with daytime events, women tend to stick closer to their groups of friends. You do not have people peeling off individually to go home, or hooking up with people, etc.

The other thing to consider is daytime events like these tend to be much less social. If she's at a sporting event, she is there with her group of friends. She is not there to socialize with strangers. Still can be done, but there are obstacles. And even then, the main event for her will still be the game, or the music... "being seen" is a secondary consideration, usually.

For girls who go out early and leave early, their trajectory is the same, it just wraps earlier. Before a girl like this leaves the venue, she's dropped her "out to be seen" agenda. Still possible to meet her on her way out, but girls like this usually won't hang around for long after they've had their fill of being seen. Keep in mind that most girls who go out early and leave early are not going out to be seen (if she's out to be seen, usually she will want to stay until the night reaches the point where people have stopped caring about her look/status, and the validation tap runs dry).

On those teasing examples: use the bored look. Nonverbal trumps all, 9 times out of 10 ;)


Lawliet's picture

One last thing Chase, do you think being confrontational is ever ok when being teased or nagged? When would it be acceptable (examples for calibration? :))

I've seen some guys who get offended and reply "Excuse me?" as he walks up to her (for example at the "run away from a guy with your looks" above). 

Or give a mean look at her.

Or "That's rude" (calls her out, confirming her frame and get serious, maybe a bit dominant)

And lastly, some guys resort to physical violence and that is a definite no. 


Chase Amante's picture


Only if this is someone you've tried lighter brush offs with, and who remains aggressively confrontational with you.

For instance:

  1. Guy needles you
  2. You: bored look
  3. Guy continues to needle you
  4. You: "Okay dude"
  5. Guy continues to needle you
  6. Tool him back
  7. Guy continues to needle you
  8. You: take your friends/girl and walk away if you can; if you can't: "Look dude, it's not funny and you're just making yourself look retarded. Knock it off"

Really though, even if the guy keeps slinging mud your way, if you can get the other people in a group and get everyone's backs to him (close him out of the circle), or just "whatever, dude" him and walk away, often that's all you've got to do.

Just make the guy feel like the more he does, the more socially retarded he looks. The whole point of needling someone is to try to make yourself look cooler than the person you needle. If your attempts repeatedly backfire and make you look increasingly retarded, you will stop.


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