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Seduction

Moving from standard attraction to physical and emotional intimacy with a woman of your choice.

Pickup and Seduction Gambit: The Good Lover

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

good lover seduction gambit
To get women in bed fast, adopt a lover’s frame. This gambit accomplishes that with sexual prizing and by displaying your deep understanding of women.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Last week, we discussed the lover’s frame, what it was, and how it is created. The lover’s frame is different from the provider frame, which involves impressing women with mostly economic resources. Sometimes it gets men laid as a reward for providing for women, but usually, all they may get is a bit of female affection, similar to the friendzone. In best-case scenarios, these men will VERY occasionally get lucky, get laid accidentally, or end up in a relationship, often with a subprime girl, or sometimes with the girl of their dreams.

Back in the day, those relationships likely resulted in marriage, and because of sociocultural factors, those marriages would remain stable. But with today's sexual liberation, this is not the case. Being a provider today is much less likely to be a fruitful mating strategy.

All you do as a provider is pay and provide for little, if anything, in return.

You have a choice: to get political and try to change society, or play the game and calibrate according to the current rules. The latter is the strategy I favor, and sadly, many men hate me for it.

The lover frame allows you to:

  • Get laid like a rockstar if that’s what you want, and enjoy a deeper form of erotic connection with a woman who will respect you as a man, not as a result of your wealth

  • Have better sex, and more quickly

  • Experience less frustration in the seduction process

  • Move from banging like a rockstar to building a relationship with the right girl; you’ll have a relationship that builds upon a sexual connection (and from there, a REAL emotional connection)

So, a win-win more or less.

There are two main effects of a strong lover frame:

  1. You generate desire as a man who can create strong emotional connections. Any gambits that display sexual prizing can work here. Some examples of gambits that accomplish this include the eight types of orgasm gambit, the orgasm control gambit, the tantra gambit, and the therapist gambit.)

  2. You make her feel allowed to act upon her desires. You want to be a man she can allow herself to be sexual with, both socially, but also emotionally (she feels you are the right guy, and you don’t judge her). Low-keyness also helps. Notable gambits here are any that communicate sexual liberalism: the period paradox, the mirror, to name a couple.

Now, what if we can use this knowledge of the lover frame as a gambit itself? This is where it gets interesting.

Tactics Tuesdays: For Resistant Girls, Use This Parting Shot

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

resistant girl parting shot
Some girls like to be with you and have your attention, but won't let you escalate. If you reach the point where you're ready to bail on them, before you do, do this.

I've talked about parting shots on Girls Chase before.

A parting shot is anything you say to a girl before you ditch her, leave her behind, or otherwise cut contact with her, because it doesn't seem to be going anywhere with her.

It is, in my opinion, not great form to simply walk away from a woman you've invested time and energy into, and had even a bit of a connection with and got a little ways with, without a parting shot.

The reason for this is simple: sometimes women play games, under the assumption that you will continue to play games.

They do this because most guys will.

But you're not most guys.

And before you shove off, it's important that women understand that.

Tactics Tuesdays: The Heavy Pause

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

heavy pause
Use the 'heavy pause' in the right moment, just before you escalate. It makes it EASIER to make moves with the women you want to make moves with.

A pregnant pause is a pause you make before you say something impactful, or when you wait for the other person to fill in the silence.

Yet there's a specific type of pregnant pause we can use for specific situations, right before escalation.

To differentiate this pause from the more generic pregnant pause, let's call this type of pause the 'heavy pause'.

You can use a heavy pause before any important courtship milestone:

Heavy pauses serve as a sort of 'moment of truth' when you find out whether a girl is ready for the next step or not.

They also let you build up anticipation before you take the plunge... which makes the next move you make all the sweeter.

And if you're used to speeding through your interactions, a few heavy pauses at the right places can make all the difference between a rushed courtship versus one that proceeds at a whirlwind pace yet never feels hurried to her.

Touch During Seduction: How Much Is Too Much?

Alek Rolstad's picture

sex talk and touching
Touch is vital to seduction, but too much can trigger resistance. At what point can touching backfire, particularly when you’re talking about sex?

Hey guys! Today I will delve into typical issues related to calibration. For example, how much should you escalate while delivering “impactful” verbal game like sex talk or hypnotic patterns meant to sexualize conversation and stimulate her?

I get this question a lot. How much should you touch a girl when you talk about sex? I realize I have not publicly given a good answer to this question, and that’s why I would like to cover it here.

There are no crystal-clear answers. Some prefer to touch more than others. Both strategies have pros and cons. Like many techniques in the field of pickup and seduction, it comes down to which advantages you favor for the price of associated disadvantages.

Let’s begin by stating some universal facts.

Who Should Do the Most Talking During Sex Talk Seduction?

Alek Rolstad's picture

sex talk seduction
Sex talk is a powerful seduction tool. But when the conversation gets juicy, should you do all the talking or let her chime in? Here are the factors to consider.

The other day I had a very interesting group conversation with Dan, Pablo, and Velasco about investment when delivering sex talk. They all had different perspectives based on their style (remember, they are all part of the “sexual game school”), and all were correct based on the way they do things. From their observations, we agreed that all our pointers had pros and cons.

The discussion was about whether you should do most of the talking when delivering sex talk, or get her to invest back.

My conclusion: it’s dependent on the girl and the circumstances, and also where you are in the seduction (which phase).

So, this is what I will discuss here.

First let’s briefly cover the arguments of the pros and cons of having her invest and participate rather than doing all the talking yourself.

This post is ideal for advanced players who want to add additional calibration to their verbal game. Beginners should do 60–65% of the talking, and let her do 35–40% (approximations, not rules set in stone).

We will focus mostly on sex talk, but I strongly believe it applies to any verbal game. The tips below will help create a verbal game that:

A powerful verbal game sets a sexual frame, a high social value, or can be very hypnotic. Weaker (or fluffy) verbal game is different because it is far less powerful, so it is better to have her invest more in that case, because if you are doing all the talking, it will not be as powerful. So you may as well make her invest.

Pickup and Seduction Gambit: The Secret House

Alek Rolstad's picture

pickup seduction gambit: the secret house
This seduction gambit is designed to make your girl visualize a liminal space (or bubble) in her mind, causing her to feel sexually liberated and horny.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Today I will share another gambit that uses the concept of liminoid space that we've discussed for the last few weeks.

A liminoid space is an area within the bigger whole (culture, society, etc.) where the rules are blurred, usually leading to liberation and freethinking.

Here are the relevant articles if you want more info or a recap:

The idea with this gambit is to make her visualize such a space, adding liberated aspects to it. From there, you’ll free her sexually.

To start this off, I’ll give you an idea for a transition. Also, remember these posts illustrate how I do these gambits (my recommended version). Feel free to modify them to fit your own style and personality.

Pickup and Seduction Gambit: Sexual Tension and Liminality

Alek Rolstad's picture

pickup and seduction gambit sexual tension
This seduction gambit uses the concepts of liminality and sexual tension bubbles. In fact, its objective is to create sexual tension by talking about sexual tension.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Today I will share a gambit that builds upon the concept of liminality, which I've covered in recent posts. Liminality is a concept taken from anthropology to describe the transitional phase in a society that is "betwixt and between." It's the time period in which “what is” has been broken down, and “what is to become” is yet unknown.

We also discussed how liminality could help us understand certain aspects of seduction, and seduction as a whole.

We saw how liminality could help us make sense of sexual tension, a powerful yet rather vague tool. Most good seducers are aware of the power of sexual tension. There is no doubt that it is one of the most powerful tools in a seducer's arsenal.

The issue of sexual tension is twofold:

  • How do we explain what it is? It is such an odd experience that one may have difficulty describing it.

  • How do we generate it? Most experienced seducers have witnessed the power of sexual tension, but few have a good method for generating it at will. We’ve tried to not only understand sexual tension but also to figure out how to generate and maintain it.

If you’d like to read my series on sexual tension, including how to generate and maintain it, you are welcome to do so. I also have a cool “sexual tension” report.

Today, I will share a verbal gambit that can help you generate sexual tension. Yes, we are talking about inducing sexual tension with a conversation.

Before I get into the gambit, note that some nonverbal elements play a significant role in whether this gambit will help you generate sexual tension and how much you will be able to generate.

These nonverbal elements include:

  • Eye contact

  • Gestures and body language (recommended: relaxed and slow)

  • Tonality and pace of voice (recommended: a slower, darker voice with pauses; if you know how to use a hypnotic voice, use it here)

If you are a beginner or intermediate, or perhaps an advanced guy who does not have a strong verbal game, you may not achieve the full effect.

However, even if you do not manage to generate sexual tension, or do so weakly, I still would not consider it a failure. There are MANY other great benefits this gambit can provide! I will discuss those further after sharing the gambit itself.

This gambit is recommended after an initial hook, preferably in an isolated setting with lots of compliance. The vibe between both must be quite sexual. The purpose of this gambit is to escalate things further.

Tactics Tuesday: Be the Anti-Player

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

anti-player
The anti-player is still a player. However, the way he meets women is by keeping things intimate – so she can trust him more, and he can move faster.

Do women sometimes hit you with player accusations?

Does it feel like girls you approach are skeptical of you? As if they keep their guards up, not wanting to be so vulnerable with you they get hurt?

This is how people are with those they don't trust. Players are people women don't trust. A woman might be attracted to a player, but she often won't trust him.

And if she doesn't trust you, she probably won't go to bed with you.

There are a few different ways to overcome this 'player problem' and sleep with lots of girls.

One of the more reliable ways is what we might call 'being the anti-player'... really just a series of tactics that let you show a woman you are not going to hurt her or ditch her.

Combine that with your usual attractive, flirtatious, escalating self, and what you have is a guy who very easily leads women step-by-effortless-step through her seduction.

The Seduction Liminoid: How to Create a Sexual Tension Bubble

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

liminoid bubble of sexual tension
How do you build a sexual tension bubble with a girl, where you can make your own rules and foster sexual freedom? By harnessing the seductive power of the liminoid.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Last week we discussed the concept of liminality and how it applies to pickup and seduction.

In broad terms, the concept of liminality describes the transitional phase within a society. It's when the status quo is deconstructed, and the new has not yet been institutionalized. This is the phase betwixt and between in the lifespan of society and culture. But this concept can also be applied to humans. We can see liminality as a rite of passage, for instance, during the time from childhood to adulthood.

But the theory doesn't stop there. We've discussed how liminality could apply to seduction, and more interestingly, how it could help us make better sense of certain seduction concepts, namely:

We looked at how seduction is about leaving a girl in a liminal phase (state of limbo) when she is curious about you and your interest level or intentions. Since liminality is the phase betwixt and between, leaving her in a phase when something is happening — but not certain or well-defined — keeps the intrigue and mystery going.

We also saw how seduction ends when this phase ends, as you move away from the liminal phase. We also discussed how keeping her in a liminal phase can keep your relationship going in the long-term.

Another key aspect relates to how a liminal phase is liberating. Since it is betwixt and between, social rules are somewhat broken. Something may be real, while at the same time not “official,” or unknown to the social world.

According to the great anthropologist Victor Turner:

They are dead to the social world, but alive to the asocial world. Many societies make a dichotomy, explicit or implicit, between sacred and profane, cosmos and chaos, order and disorder. In liminality, profane social relations may be discontinued, former rights and obligations are suspended, the social order may seem to have been turned upside down. (Turner, V., Liminal to Liminoid, p. 59)

Today we will discuss the other part of his essay, the liminoid, and how that applies to pickup and seduction.

Liminality and Seduction: Inside the Bubble of Sexual Tension

Alek Rolstad's picture

liminality bubble of seduction
Have you ever been in a sexual bubble with someone, seemingly separated from the outside world and free to make your own rules? Liminal space is the seducer’s Shangri-La.

Today I will share a bit of an abstract concept. It’s inspired me often in my analysis and overall understanding of pickup and seduction. Hopefully the reason why will become clear by the second half of this post, where I’ll show an applied example.

This concept is called “liminality” and comes from social theory, or more precisely from anthropology. It’s also used in psychology and sociology, as well as social philosophy.

Anthropologist Arnold van Gennep coined liminality, but anthropologist Victor Turner perfected it. Turner has written multiple texts on the subject, but I would consider his "Liminal to Liminoid, in Play, Flow, and Ritual: An Essay in Comparative Symbology" to be the flagship study.

I will not go into great detail about the theory for the sake of keeping this article concise and on point, but in my academic career, I‘ve been often inspired by Turner's concept of liminoid spaces (see my post on the secret society).