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Seduction

Moving from standard attraction to physical and emotional intimacy with a woman of your choice.

Indirect Game, Pt 1: Interesting Her, Indirectly

Alek Rolstad's picture
indirect gameBy not immediately showing your sexual interest in a girl, Indirect Game allows you to appear mysterious and get her to chase.

Hey there.

Having pointed out many problems with direct game in my previous two articles, today I begin a series about what I consider to be the solution: indirect game.

I have read the comments to my three last articles (the two on direct, and the one on men's power in the dating game). While I am happy to see that this subject has engaged our readers, the fact that some have felt triggered hasn’t escaped my attention.

I attempted to deal with the comments and criticism from my first post on direct game in part two. Then, Chase responded to other remarks in his last post on “similarity of interest.”

I mostly agree with everything Chase mentioned in his post. Our thoughts are aligned on this subject. I will discuss similar subjects here, but we will look at them from a different perspective. This post (and my upcoming posts on indirect game) will be supplementing Chase’s post, which I recommend reading if you decide to follow this series.

If you are curious about how to run indirect game, this article and the following posts are for you. If you are a direct gamer who is curious about how indirect game is run, this is for you as well.

These posts will not only be theoretical; they will also serve as a good strategic template on how to get girls smoothly. It’s an overall game-plan.

Gloating About Sex: Does It Work to Get You Laid?

Frankie Bismarck's picture
gloating about sexThe common wisdom is if you gloat about sex as a man, women won't want you. But is that always the case? Sometimes, it isn't…

There is a double standard with regard to which sex gets to “play the field” indefinitely and receive praise for succeeding in racking up hundreds of attractive sex partners. As we know, guys who do this – players – supposedly have an easier time in society than their female counterpart: “sluts.”

Players don’t always enjoy as many perks as you might think. For instance, other men may want to keep them out of their social circles, fearing their girlfriends will fall victim to the chad’s debauched depredations.

Still, girls who sleep around have a much harder time, mostly due to other girls’ gossip and backstabbing, which is an attempt on their part to increase the price of access to their vaginas.

But there is another double standard that is going to be the subject of today’s article. That double standard is which sex gets to gloat about the opposite sex partners they’ve shagged or other lurid details of their love lives.

And here it is clear that girls have the upper hand. Guys are, so the thinking goes, meant to be discreet, downplay or even be completely silent about their dalliances and appetites: “Don’t kiss and tell.”

What if a guy were to go against this “rule”?

What effect does a guy gloating about the sex he’s had with a girl or girls in the plural have on other girls who may be present during the gloating?

The Power of Touch to Create Attraction

Tony Depp's picture
touch and attractionDo you use enough touch to attract the women you want? Well, you should. Even if you met her in broad daylight, you can use these 8 touches to get things going.

Today I’m going to teach you all the sneaky ways to touch a girl you can use to seduce, arouse, and titillate women into a state of uncontrollable attraction.

Well, that would be ideal, anyway.

Most men who come to me for help have no idea how to use touch (formerly also called kino). They stress over not knowing “what to say,” which is a legitimate issue, for sure. But with the mighty power of touch, it can basically be bypassed.

Not all women need to be talked into bed.

Some of them react more to physicality than intellectualism.

“We can cuddle.”

I used to bang this girl, a total hottie, but for the longest time I was in her friend zone. I didn’t want to be there, so I spent more time trying to seduce her. Eventually I became frustrated, and just told her I wanted her.

“Well, I don’t know about that right now,” she replied, “but we can cuddle.”

We can cuddle? I thought. What does that even mean?

Well, she came over one evening to hang out, and I remembered her cuddle comment. So I pulled her in close as we watched the movie. I started running my fingers along her palms, then up and down her fingers. We didn’t speak for a long time, but just explored the bits that were available.

This eventually moved from fingers, to stomachs, necks to lips, and before long we were making out, then naked and banging. There was no logic, no poetry, no begging or bargaining or games. Just touch.

Secrets to Getting Girls: Similarity of Interest

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

similarity of interestWomen run off when men come on too strong for them. Yet, they lose interest when men come on too weak. You must calibrate to the girl to effectively seduce.

Alek's recent strident indictments of direct game (part 1 | part 2) caused a small uproar on here and generated a flurry of both nodding heads and vociferous disagreements.

The main arguments against Alek's position of "direct game does not work (very well)" seem to be 1.) "well, it works for me", and 2.) what about guys whose methods are primarily direct game, a la Hector Castillo?

I'd like to address both Alek's point that very direct game usually doesn't work as well as more indirect game, plus the fact that sometimes it does work (though not nearly as consistently).

Note that we aren't talking about direct vs. indirect openers here. We're talking about the whole game system a man employs. I'd add that what Alek recommends (as well as what I do), while we tend to call it 'indirect game', is really an indirect-direct fusion that combines elements of both styles, but leans a bit more indirect than direct. I'll spell out more what the difference is between direct and indirect as we go.

In today's article, I'll boil down the answer to those questions above with a simplified framework that anyone can understand. That framework is this:

In a good seduction, what allows you to proceed with the girl is similarity of interest.

The closer your expressed level of interest is to the level of interest she's currently feeling, and the better you pace her interest levels as the seduction progresses, the better able you are to hold her interest and guide the seduction toward a licentious night in bed.

What trips men up on interest levels?

Either showing

  1. too much (i.e., too direct) or
  2. too little (i.e., too indirect)

interest in the girl they're courting.

The Problem with Direct Game, Pt 2: Killing All the Intrigue

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

direct game problemsShe might've liked you. But go too direct, and you sap all the intrigue (and hence, the FUN for her) out of the seduction… right along with your chances.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Last week I discussed some widespread problems with direct game. We saw that by giving women too much attention, direct game over-validates them.

Whereas men seek validation through getting laid, women seek it through obtaining sexual attention – knowing they have managed to win a guy’s compliance.

When a guy is using direct game, he gives a woman exactly what she wants. And for this reason, the dating market can seem flawed and unfair – because women get what they want (mostly for free) from men, while men don’t.

Men can achieve balance when they are more careful in giving away the attention women crave so much.

Some of you may think giving women what they want will seduce them and make them compliant to you. Well, not so.

Consider the following:

  • Would you be more compliant to someone who had something you wanted and gave it away for free right away in abundance?

  • Or would you be more compliant to someone who had something you wanted and didn’t give it to you straight away, making you work for it?

The second scenario makes you most compliant. Since you have to work to get it, you are compliant to that person. That person will control the frame.

This is how seduction works, and this frame is acquired only through indirect and not direct game. Direct game is the former, and indirect game is the latter. And the primary resource women seek is attention.

Girls Who Cling vs. Girls Who Run Away

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

clingers vs. runnersSome girls are clingy. Others run away from you. What makes a girl a clinger or a runner, and what can you do to alter their behavior?

Sometimes guys will bed a new girl, then no matter their pre-sex frame, or what they did post-sex, or how they set expectations, the girls react in some odd ways anyway.

If you've ever had a girl you just slept with start acting like you're her Prince Charming and the two of you will doubtless soon go elope, or you've had a girl you had an amazing, incredible time with leave the next morning and never text or call you again, you know what I'm talking about.

In seduction, we train to have an "I am responsible for my results" mentality.

This is a necessary mindset to adopt for any improvement-oriented man. It's how you leave the victim mentality people in the dust.

Yet one of the things that can happen is men end up blaming themselves for results that are totally out of their control.

Clingy girls and elusive ones are a couple of the "things you can't really control."

The Problem with Direct Game, Pt 1: Does Direct Game Work?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

direct gameDirect game (where you never conceal your interest in a girl) gets a good wrap in men's circles. Yet it never works nearly as well as its proponents advertise…

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Last week, I attempted to debunk the perceived inequality between the sexes and their power on the dating market. It is easy for men to perceive women as more powerful because they get more attention, and therefore are more in control.

After all, men chase women for sex; they can say “yes” or “no” to their requests. Demand is high when it comes to sex with beautiful women.

Although both men and women seek validation, male and female sex drives differ in the source of validation.

Men get validation through sex, and women receive it through attention—more precisely, sexual attention—knowing that men find them desirable.

Both can enjoy sex and desire sex equally on a PHYSICAL and even EMOTIONAL level.

However, men are not only led by their drive toward sexual satisfaction but by their ego—their feeling of power and attractiveness from “conquering” a woman through sex.

Hence, men have two motivations to seek sexual encounters:

  • Their sex drive, which they share with women

  • Their ego drive

Females get satisfaction by having someone desiring them, which does not involve a need to put out.

We know that “putting out” and having sex left and right with men can lead to social consequences for women. Women fear the slut label, so they have fewer incentives to put out.

Seduction School: Escalating Despite Objections

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

escalating past women's objectionsWomen will resist you and object to what you say. Yet you must be able to escalate things with them anyway. Once you can, success with girls gets simpler.

I've been seeing a bit more lately of guys scratching their heads and asking, "How do I do XYZ thing?" and not really getting it.

So I wanted to start an ongoing series (like Tactics Tuesdays and Secrets to Getting Girls) that gives basic advice on how to develop uncommon-but-useful skills and abilities.

Today the focus is on moving things along (escalating) despite women's objections.

If a woman objects to things you say you want her to come do with you, will you still find a way to do them, or will you give up?

Backing off, redirecting, or biding your time can be an okay strategy sometimes. But other times, it's a seduction death knell.

A good seducer knows when to push as well as when to back off and let the woman come to him.

And right now, we'll take a close look at the former.

Tactics Tuesdays: Stop Her Talking Herself Out of It

Chase Amante's picture
talking herself out of itAsk a girl to do something, and she'll think about it. Sometimes she decides for you; sometimes not. Yet if she's about to decide "not", you MAY be able to intercept that…

In sales, you learn early on to make a proposal, then shut up and let the prospect decide.

"Whoever talks first loses," is the way my old boss and sales trainer taught me.

Well... talks first once you've proposed something and the prospect's deliberating, that is.

However, there's one exception to this rule, and that exception is this: when you can tell the prospect is talking himself out of it.

This is a bit of a nuanced thing to catch.

Therefore, this article is really only intended for intermediate and up students of the game. It'll be most useful for men who are already at least somewhat advanced with women, and will be able to attune to the signals we'll talk about here a lot more easily.

If you're a beginner, you can ignore this article for now and hew to "whoever talks first loses (after you've made a proposal)", and it'll server you well the majority of the time.

But if you're farther along than 'beginner', it's time to take a more nuanced view.

Don't Ask Women Stupid, Needy Questions

Chase Amante's picture
stupid questionsThere are these stupid, clueless, needy questions men ask women. Perhaps you've asked some yourself. Yet these questions are pure sabotage for your seductions.

This is really more for new guys than anyone else.

Though I have still sometimes seen intermediate guys making these mistakes too.

In school, you probably learned "There are no stupid questions."

Well, that might be true in school. However, in dating, it is not. Because when it comes to women, there are absolutely a lot of very stupid questions that you should not ask.

We're not talking about questions like "How old are you?" or "How many guys have you been with?" that various stern women claim men should "never ask a lady!" or that "don't matter!" on various feminist-leaning blogs or news sites around the web. Those questions are actually perfectly fine; I suggest you ask both regularly (the second works better after sex, though).

However, there exists a certain class of question that, when you ask from it, conveys a degree of neediness, uncertainty, and lack of leadership that repels women like oil does water.

These questions are the ones we can, for our purposes, safely dub stupid questions.