Pickup Tech

The anti-player is still a player. However, the way he meets women is by keeping things intimate – so she can trust him more, and he can move faster.

Do women sometimes hit you with player accusations?

Does it feel like girls you approach are skeptical of you? As if they keep their guards up, not wanting to be so vulnerable with you they get hurt?

This is how people are with those they don't trust. Players are people women don't trust. A woman might be attracted to a player, but she often won't trust him.

And if she doesn't trust you, she probably won't go to bed with you.

There are a few different ways to overcome this 'player problem' and sleep with lots of girls.

One of the more reliable ways is what we might call 'being the anti-player'... really just a series of tactics that let you show a woman you are not going to hurt her or ditch her.

Combine that with your usual attractive, flirtatious, escalating self, and what you have is a guy who very easily leads women step-by-effortless-step through her seduction.

How do you build a sexual tension bubble with a girl, where you can make your own rules and foster sexual freedom? By harnessing the seductive power of the liminoid.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Last week we discussed the concept of liminality and how it applies to pickup and seduction.

In broad terms, the concept of liminality describes the transitional phase within a society. It's when the status quo is deconstructed, and the new has not yet been institutionalized. This is the phase betwixt and between in the lifespan of society and culture. But this concept can also be applied to humans. We can see liminality as a rite of passage, for instance, during the time from childhood to adulthood.

But the theory doesn't stop there. We've discussed how liminality could apply to seduction, and more interestingly, how it could help us make better sense of certain seduction concepts, namely:

• Sexual tension
• Intrigue
• Mixed signals

We looked at how seduction is about leaving a girl in a liminal phase (state of limbo) when she is curious about you and your interest level or intentions. Since liminality is the phase betwixt and between, leaving her in a phase when something is happening — but not certain or well-defined — keeps the intrigue and mystery going.

We also saw how seduction ends when this phase ends, as you move away from the liminal phase. We also discussed how keeping her in a liminal phase can keep your relationship going in the long-term.

Another key aspect relates to how a liminal phase is liberating. Since it is betwixt and between, social rules are somewhat broken. Something may be real, while at the same time not “official,” or unknown to the social world.

According to the great anthropologist Victor Turner:

“They are dead to the social world, but alive to the asocial world. Many societies make a dichotomy, explicit or implicit, between sacred and profane, cosmos and chaos, order and disorder. In liminality, profane social relations may be discontinued, former rights and obligations are suspended, the social order may seem to have been turned upside down.” (Turner, V., Liminal to Liminoid, p. 59)

Today we will discuss the other part of his essay, the liminoid, and how that applies to pickup and seduction.

An open loop in conversation serves as a conversational "fallback" – and it makes your conversations FEEL more interesting, too.

An open loop is a conversation line you open, which you then leave open as you switch to a different topic.

For example, you say "You know, I found this incredible little restaurant when driving around Southside last Sunday. Do you ever drive around Southside? I know it's a little down in the dumps but blah blah..."

You opened the topic of 'incredible little restaurant', then switched to a different topic (driving around Southside).

Meanwhile, you've left the 'incredible little restaurant' topic open. You can now loop back to it later if you wish.

Open loops are handy, because they serve as ready topics for you to switch back to later on. If one topic of conversation dries up, you can flip back to a loop you opened earlier.

Master conversationalists create lots of open loops. Open loops can serve as lifelines, bailing you out when something you tried conversationally does not work.

Seeding is a kind of open loop -- where you open the loop of something you'd like to do with someone at some point, then return to it later on.

Open loops have many uses.

For today's Tactics Tuesdays installment, I'll show you several of those uses (to help you get the gist of the tactic... but there are myriad uses for open loops), and I'll give you more examples of how to open a loop within your conversations.

Have you ever been in a sexual bubble with someone, seemingly separated from the outside world and free to make your own rules? Liminal space is the seducer’s Shangri-La.

Today I will share a bit of an abstract concept. It’s inspired me often in my analysis and overall understanding of pickup and seduction. Hopefully the reason why will become clear by the second half of this post, where I’ll show an applied example.

This concept is called “liminality” and comes from social theory, or more precisely from anthropology. It’s also used in psychology and sociology, as well as social philosophy.

Anthropologist Arnold van Gennep coined liminality, but anthropologist Victor Turner perfected it. Turner has written multiple texts on the subject, but I would consider his "Liminal to Liminoid, in Play, Flow, and Ritual: An Essay in Comparative Symbology" to be the flagship study.

I will not go into great detail about the theory for the sake of keeping this article concise and on point, but in my academic career, I‘ve been often inspired by Turner's concept of liminoid spaces (see my post on the secret society).

This pickup gambit is designed to help you transition into sex talk. It gets her intrigued, sets a sexual frame, and conveys your understanding of female sexuality.

Hey guys, welcome back. Today I will share a very easy sex talk gambit. It is not a nuclear bomb of sexual frames. However, it is a fun and captivating transition.

Guys always ask me for transitions. It is the sex talk related subject most men struggle with. I sympathize because I’ll admit it is the most complicated part of sex talk. Once you get the ball rolling after setting the initial sexual frame (and she accepts it), escalating further and talking more about sex becomes a piece of cake.

The struggle is to get that ball rolling.

There are multiple ways to do it, like using proxies or bridging subjects. The beauty of these techniques is that they are universal tools. Sometimes, situational events like what a girl says can be used to lead into sexual talk.

In my opinion, the easiest, most powerful way to transition to sex talk is to have a premade gambit that you can either use as-is or modify depending on the circumstances.

Here are some premade gambits for you:

• 3 Sex Gambits: Good/Bad Sex, Sex Is Unfair, and the Dark Side
• The Anti-Climax Routine
• The Tequila Gambit: Get Her Isolated with You
• The Cuck Frame Pickup Gambit: "Watch Me Bang Another Chick!"
• The Mental G-Spot
• Narratives
• The Sex Therapist
• The Femme Fatale

Not only can you re-use what’s worked in the past, but they are also tailored to work as best as possible. And through repeated use, they can be enhanced and changed for maximum success. (You can trust my gambits; they work for me and others. Considering I am a risk-averse seducer, they are pretty much rejection free.)

This gambit (The Period Paradox) can provide other goodies to assist your interaction:

• Create intrigue
• Introduce captivating topics
• Interject humor
• Imply social proof
• And more

So, with that said, I will share a little gambit that is fun and easy to pull off any time in the interaction. This is for night game. The vibe is loaded, sexual, and delivering it is no-risk. You do not need to have the girl very hooked to pull it off (I think one may even use this fun gambit as an opener, although don’t take my word for it as I have not tried that yet).

In day game, one has to watch out a bit more, so I suggest delivering it only when she is truly hooked, or after you have managed to get her seated with you in the case of an instant date, or a first date.

Besides these consideration, I believe that lower intermediates can pull this off without issues. I also think beginners may give it a try.

This seduction gambit is good for introducing sex talk and setting a sexual frame very quickly. It utilizes contrasting and conveys to her that you are a sexual prize.

Hey guys. I hope you are all doing great. Today I want to share another cool gambit that can help you hook girls in and immerse them further into the interaction, but more importantly, introduce sex and a sexual frame.

This gambit, like every gambit, should serve these purposes:

• To inspire you

• To use as is (or reword the gambit and add your own touch)

• To use as a template to create your own gambits

Most importantly, you’ll see how to use seduction concepts as I teach with examples. You’ll learn how different concepts are mashed together and how they are applied in seduction. I will share the gambit first, then talk about some ways to transition from there.

This gambit is perfectly fit for early in the interaction, post-hook, or even right after the opening! Yes! You may use this gambit as a hook gambit.

What do I mean by this?

Most interactions start with the opening phase: you initiate contact. (I know, some may say the interaction starts before that phase, when you catch her eye and make visual contact. You are right, but let’s leave the semantics out for now.) After an opening, you may realize the vibe is a bit “meh.” She did not outright reject you, but you don’t feel like the conversation is flowing yet. So, you need to hook her in, getting her immersed into the conversation. We call this the hook phase.

This gambit can help you get her hooked.

Let’s cover the gambit and look at the mechanisms at play, then find out how you can use this to get further into sex talk.

Need to show off a few attractive qualities to a girl who's curious but not hooked? The attraction story is your great and useful friend for this.

An attraction story is a story you tell that makes women listening feel more interested in, excited about, and comfortable toward you.

It does so by showing a girl attractive qualities about the ways you think, act, and live your life, via the story you tell. These same qualities that entrance women also make other men view you as cooler, higher status, and more dominant... so attraction stories really work to make everyone like you more. In the old seduction community they used to be known as a 'display of higher value' (DHV).

Here's an example of a quick attraction story:

So a few weeks ago I was at this bar in another country I was in for a marketing conference. And you know when I go to these things I always go to the lectures to hear what people are doing right now in marketing. I never go to the networking part. I used to do it but I never got anything worthwhile out of it, just got a bunch of business cards I'll never use.

So I went out to a bar on my own and honestly it's a lot more fun than hanging out with a bunch of business people trying to trade business cards who are either bored to meet you or treat you like a piece of meat, depending on what they think they can get from you.

You go to the bar with the locals and you get to have cool conversations with local guys and get random local girls grinding up on you. You have to go by yourself if you do this though because if you go with friends people you intimidate people and they'll stay away. Go solo and it's 10x easier to meet people; you're just some random friendly person anyone can meet.

There's a bunch going on in that story (which I'll break down for you later), but the net effect is you probably end up feeling like the storyteller is a pretty cool, authoritative, knowledgeable guy. If that's congruent with his appearance and behavior with this gal, she is going to feel more intrigued and excited about him when he tells her this tale.

You'll use attraction stories most during the most pivotal times of a seduction:

• When you've first met this girl, and she's open to learning more about you, but not quite hooked

• When you've just transitioned somewhere else with a girl (like to a seated position, or to another venue), and you need to get the conversation going again and want to make her feel like she made the right choice in going along with you

• When you have a little dead time while you're waiting for something else, like for her or your friends to return, or for a bus or taxi to arrive

Used at the right time, the vibe gets more intimate, and you spike a woman's interest in you. She will cozy up more to you, get more comfortable, and open herself up more.

Of course, there's a wrong time to use these too, so let's look at timing first.