(3) Journeyman

We’ve talked about building and using tension in several articles on here before:

• “Social Pressure: Surprisingly Important in Getting Girls” on social tension

• “Sexual Tension: 7 Ways to Make Women Excited and Randy” on sexual tension

... and we’ve also talked about defusing tension, often with humor, as well as why it’s good to not be TOO focused on making girls laugh (and defusing all the tension).

But I want to zero in on the topic of tension specifically, because I see a lot of people still not using it right, or nervously defusing it.

The fact is, tension lies at the foundation of power, and when you wield it correctly, you enable yourself to do all kinds of things socially, sexually, and romantically.

There have been many articles written on this site about fidelity (or lack thereof) and on unraveling what society has told you in order to reveal the true nature and promiscuity of women. These are articles like:

• Sexual Awakening: How to Have Her Doing Almost Anything in Bed
• There’s Always Another Man In Her Life
• Girl Has a Boyfriend? 3 Things to Do and 7 Things NOT To
• How to Steal a Girl from Under Her Boyfriend’s Nose
• How to Prevent Cheating by Your Girlfriend
• Why I Quit Dating Girls Who Club, Party, or Drink
• What Women Think About Their Husbands
  
• Walk the Line

And lately a lot of men in my life have been realizing that a woman’s relationship status is often tenuous and – even more concerning – actually a poor indicator as to whether or not she would actually sleep with you (even if that status is “married”). It’s definitely an unsettling realization to come to. But, unsettling by whose standards? Certainly not by Mother Nature’s.

Up until this point we have yet to fully cover why women want multiple partners. But believe it or not, it’s actually in a woman’s best interest to sleep with multiple men. So today I’m going to cover why women take on – or desire to take on – multiple partners and how we as men can adapt, understand, and come to terms with that fact.

In response to my statement in “Real Empiricists Test”, uForia asked a follow up question on how you can tell the difference between something not working because you’re not getting right, and something not working because it simply doesn’t work:

“I think for most new guys, skepticism comes up when they follow your instructions but it blew up anyways, which questions your legitimacy. It is uncertain for many beginners like myself whether your method needs more practice or it’s just random PUA junk. Again, I didn’t say this to offend you or anything (I think you’re probably mature enough to not be offended anyways), as I’m sure you had difficulties finding what works and what doesn’t as well.”

In other words, when should you give up?

This is a non-trivial question, and it’s one that’s pretty necessary to have some sort of an answer to. Because if you can’t tell when you’ve been tossing your time away on something that just doesn’t work, well... you can end up being that guy who goes and does 5000 approaches and still can’t get laid.

And you don’t want to be that guy.

The good news is that most people have a limit where they reach where they just give up without anyone having to tell them to do so... the bad news is that for most people that limit comes far too early, and for some it comes far too late.

You read seduction blogs. You improve your style. You learn how to approach girls. You purchase quality materials like Chase’s book. But to what end?

I think there are only two ends to learning seduction: sex and relationships. You can have sex without relationships, but you can’t have relationships without sex (at least not good ones). So really, you put in all of this effort to learn how to have sex with new girls. Maybe you want to sleep with just one new girl – a perfectly fine goal.

However, I think the ultimate aim for most men is to learn how to have sex on a consistent, regular basis. That’s what we’re in the game for. As with most worthwhile things in life, it’s easier said than done.

If you want to learn how to walk that path… read on.

The cocky owner of a small business bends one of his female employees over his desk after hours on a Friday afternoon, when the other employees have gone home, including a pair of male office workers who’ve been competing for that same female coworker of theirs for months.

Across town, an arrogant-but-charismatic high school running back trots off the football field after a loss. Most of the team’s down in the dumps, but he’s not; he’s taking one of the cheerleaders for a “ride around town” tonight. She’ll be the fourth cheerleader he’s slept with from his school’s squad.

That night, a trio of cute girls in flashy, sequined dresses stay past closing time in a semi-popular nightclub there in town for an “after party” that involves them, a bartender, a doorman, and the club owner. All three of the girls are naked in under an hour, and though the routine is getting a little old for each of them, all three of the men still enjoy sleeping with his new girl.

At the same time that evening, a psychologist has a discrete liaison with one of his troubled-but-sensual patients. She knows he’s married and has a family, and the last thing she wants to be is a home wrecker... but she really can’t help herself.

There are a few somethings each of these situations have in common with one another: they are male authority... and female lust.

But the greater irony under all these tales is the one that many average men who haven’t experienced such dalliances themselves spend time boiling with envy over, and vainly try to point out to any woman they can catch the ear of: outside of these environments, with this artificial position power they’ve constructed for themselves or happened into, these men are nobodies... and without that authority those men have, these women probably wouldn’t be very attracted to them.

Yet nevertheless, they are.

I don’t like veering too far off-topic from seduction and relationships too often, since I’ve watched many a website, television show, or business slip into decline after losing its focus, becoming too scattered and spreading itself too thin with the material it covers. But, since a number of readers have specifically requested this, here’s an article on how I run my time management.

Personally, I’ve never given much conscious thought to time management. I’ve just always found myself with everything I need to get done done, and lots of free time to spend however I like – sometimes on personal development, sometimes on relaxation and recovery. Time management is more of an unconscious drive for me than anything. The past few years I’ve been busier than usual, since it’s been my trial-by-fire in learning how to build businesses (and having many of those businesses fail along the way), but even then, I’ve mostly gone through stretches of a few months of extreme busyness at the time, before correcting things and returning to a more balanced lifestyle.

I haven’t read much on time management itself, because most of the people writing on time management I find are people who haven’t really done things with their lives that I’d care to emulate. It seems like most of them spend their time writing books about time management, and most of their productivity consists of writing books about productivity. However, I do come across bits and pieces here and there from various people that I find useful and incorporate, and that help make me even better able to manage my time.

So, without further ado, and with no claims to being some great time management guru or anything of the sort, here’s how Chase Amante personally approaches the subject of managing his time; a companion piece to the one I did on time efficiency (you should probably read that one before reading this one, if you haven’t already read it).

Drexel recently wrote a very choice article titled “Creating an Environment for Bondage and Sexperimentation”, and I wanted to continue to expand on this theme and really examine why women actually love BDSM to the extent that they do.

If you’re at all unfamiliar with the term, BDSM is an abbreviation for three distinct sex-related word pairs: bondage and discipline (BD), dominance and submission (DS), and sadism and masochism (SM). Sounds like quite a handful, pretty far outside the ordinary, doesn’t it? But it isn’t so extraordinary as you might think.

Don’t believe that each and every woman in your life hasn’t fantasized about some form of BDSM at least once in her life? Just go ahead and ask all the women you know well. I’m sure you’d be surprised at the result. So let’s look at the motivations and hidden desires that lead to women fantasizing about BDSM.