Calibrating Touch to the Girl You're With

It’s crucial to your courtships you use properly calibrated touch. What’s that mean? That the touch you use matches the girl, the mood, and the circumstance.

Greetings, and welcome back to my series on non-verbal seduction. We have many other cool posts in this series that you might want to check out if non-verbal seduction is something that interests you. You may find them here:

1. 3 Body Position Phases When You Talk to New Girls

2. Eye Contact Seduction: Basics and Advanced

3. Why Touch is Vital to Girls and Dating
   

In our third post in the series, on why touch is vital, we discussed the theoretical aspect of physical escalation – why it is important, and its numerous benefits. Today we will focus only on the practical aspects (i.e., the tips and tricks to make your escalation go more smoothly).

So let us get right into it, shall we?

4 Golden Rules of Physical Escalation

Before we get into the how-to, we must cover some basic rules. Fail to follow them and you risk losing it all. Some of these rules will seem obvious, others not so much. It is key to keep the following rules in check.

1. Confidence. You must escalate with confidence and display to her that you know what you are doing. Physical escalation is supposed to lead the interaction forward. Women love being led, but they’ll never accept the dominance and leadership of a guy who doesn’t know what he is doing. Would you skydive with an instructor who is scared of jumping out of planes? Most likely not – same thing more-or-less applies here.

2. Do not hesitate. I know escalating is risky in a way – you might trigger resistance, or worse, a rejection. But put it this way: if you don’t escalate, you will most likely get nowhere, that is for sure. So maybe it is worth it to take that risk?

3. NEVER look at your hands as you touch her. It makes you come across as insecure, and it is pretty creepy. Did I forget to mention that it is pretty anti-sexual? Instead, look somewhere else – maybe her eyes?

4. Assume there is attraction – assume that it will work. It will not only make it more genuine and powerful, but if you believe it to be sexy, it might affect her perception of it, too.

Now that we have those in check, we can move further into how to touch a girl.

Physical Escalation: A Ladder

You obviously don’t go straight from opening a girl right to touching her punani. There needs to a process – you need to escalate the whole vibe. Because when you meet her, she is just a stranger. The idea is to escalate this progressively into changing the overall interaction, to make the vibe sexier and make her go from a stranger to a lover.

It needs to follow a progression – a ladder. Yes, I know, there are cases in which you will meet girls who are ovulating or simply very sexually liberated. In such cases you can rush things, but you still follow a progression. You might jumpstart it and skip some steps, or maybe climb the ladder faster, but you are following a progression, and a ladder is a good metaphor. This is for sure.

But usually you will have to take things slowly and surely by escalating things via small moves, or by taking steps up the ladder, all the way to bed. Now, there are many different escalation ladders – and many work. I rarely follow any escalation ladder by the script (I always calibrate to the situation). I use those ladders as inspiration and examples, not scripts written in stone. Here is more or less how I usually escalate things:

1. Her upper arms and shoulders first…

2. Her belly next

3. Then down to her hips

4. Get closer to her butt (here I recommend you only touch the side of her cheeks – don’t touch her behind directly, you might come across as a creep, especially if you haven’t gotten a clear green light from her that such a move is okay)

5. Her hips again

6. And her belly (when you reach this point, you can isolate your girl by taking her home, or you may stay where you are and proceed further – up to you)

7. To the area around her breasts

8. Then sliding your hands down to her belly

9. To her hips again

10. Finally to her pubic area (but don’t touch her vagina until you are fully isolated at the seduction location)

Different Levels of Escalation

You will notice here that you have certain moves that are more or less socially accepted, and other moves that are more sexual. We can break it down to the following:

1. Social Touch: these are all the “socially accepted” moves you may pull off, such as touching her upper arm, high fiving, or touching her shoulder (just a few examples). The idea here is to get her used to your touch (see my previous post) and get the ball rolling – i.e., create room for juicier touching.

2. Intimate Touch: when things are getting hotter, you might increase your sexual intent in your touching by making more explicit moves. These moves are semi-sexual but are not moves total strangers do to each other. These moves do require some rapport. Some examples would be handholding, touching her hip, belly, or back. The idea here is to build a physical connection and make her comfortable with your touch. Making out kind of falls into this category, especially the more innocent forms.

3. Sexual Touch: this is everything that is more explicit. The purpose here is not to build a physical connection – you should already have that in check when moving to this phase. This phase has the purpose of making her horny – and push you right into the lover phase. This is the point where you become more explicit with your moves and escalate toward the final goal – sex. Some examples here are: intense make out, ass touching, touching of intimate areas near her pubic region, and maybe breast touching. I always find the neck area pretty intimate and fun to play with.

Wouldn’t you like to climb her ladder?

You can see that the ladder I showed in the example above can be broken down into those different phases. This serves as a great theoretical framework to make you understand the process better. Let us now move on to a juicier topic – calibration. I am sure many of you want to learn how to smoothly escalate while lowering the chances of triggering resistance.

Escalation: Calibration

We will now discuss how to calibrate. Not every girl is the same, and the same thing goes for situations – they all differ. Now, this is exactly why field experience matters – why it is, at the end of the day, the decisive factor for how good you want to become with women. Now, there’s still some practical advice I can give you here to speed up the process to get good.

There are two things you always must calibrate to: the situation and the girl. Let us begin with calibrating to the situation.

Calibrating to the Situation

A factor that will in many cases dictate the overall pace of your escalation is the social setting in which you are meeting the girl. Are you meeting her in class? Then you probably have to take things slowly and maybe even skip the overly explicit moves from the public sphere.

Are you meeting her in a high-energy club with a huge pulsing dance floor? If so, you better ramp up things quickly. Are you meeting her on the street? Then better not touch her all that much until you are isolated with her (instant date) – and stick to social touch during the initial approach.

Basically, clubs, bars, and home parties allow for faster escalation, and when the time is right, allow for explicit content. If you meet her at school, at a coffee shop, or on the street, you might want take things slowly and wait with the more explicit until you get her on a date (and nobody said you can’t do that right away – instant dates are awesome), and perhaps wait with the sexual touching till you are back at your place.

But besides where you meet her, there are other situational factors you should take into consideration, such as:

• Who is she with? If her friends, or worse (e.g., her mum), is around, tone things down. Your girl will be more on guard, and so will those with her. Wait till you are isolated before getting dirtier.

• What time did you meet her? Usually it tends to be more and more acceptable to get explicit the later you meet someone. In clubs, the first hour tends to be rather anti-sexual, but as time goes by, it becomes more and more acceptable to hook up.

Let us now get into the more interesting part: calibrating to her.

Calibrating to Her

This is so key. You must always calibrate according to the girl’s reaction. Re-read the following ten times if you have to: You need to be awake and aware and pay attention to her reaction – how her body reacts to your touch. This is so key.

This way you can touch her and escalate the process at a pace that is suitable to her. This will not only display social awareness but also display a form of respect, which in turn can generate an element of comfort – key!

So, the idea here is to follow a ladder and observe how she reacts.

1. If she is reacting POSITIVELY to your moves, keep doing what you are doing. If she is reacting VERY positively, you might even consider increasing the pace.

2. If her reaction is NEUTRAL, then you can either keep on doing what you are doing but not move further, or hope that at some point she tips over into a “positive” reaction. This is a bit passive. Personally, when I am stuck, I like to push things forward until I trigger a clear POSITIVE or NEGATIVE reaction – and act accordingly. Now, if you adopt this method, do not make an overly bold move forward – just do enough to trigger a reaction.

3. And last… if her reaction is NEGATIVE, take a step back (on the ladder). And if her reaction becomes positive, keep moving forward. It is key that you take a step back – this displays that you are in control and that you are actually respecting her boundaries.Now, if she gives you a VERY NEGATIVE reaction, then take a huge step back… a huge one… (if you are touching her belly, consider going back to touching her shoulders again, for example). If things do to get better, consider moving on. If you sense VERY STRONG DISCOMFORT, tell her it was a pleasure meeting her... and get out.

Remember, keep your eyes open and pay attention to how she reacts. This is why you should avoid meeting girls while drunk. Because when you’re drunk, you are unable to pay attention to the signals she is giving you.

Persistence

I would like to finish this article with a few notes on persistence. If a girl resists your moves (e.g., she gives you a negative reaction), it does not mean she hates you or has lost attraction for you (unless her reaction was pretty strong in the negative sense). All you have to do is persist, because many times, a negative reaction simply means “not yet.” This is what resistance is.

Being persistent is therefore key – to keep doing it till she eventually says “yes.”

It may take a few nos to reach a big YES!

Now, as always, persistence does not mean being forceful or pushing anyone into doing something they simply don’t want to do. The Girls Chase team, including myself, are against rape and sexual harassment in any form, and we therefore advise people to rather be safe than sorry. What we mean by being persistent is different from being forceful – and it’s not chasing, either.

If one encounters resistance, take a step back and see how she responds. If the response is positive, you can consider it a form of resistance and move on (and escalate further). However, it is advised to be even more on guard when proceeding after having faced resistance.

Now, if she keeps resisting after you’ve taken a step back, you can either take another step back or move on – depending on the severity of the resistance. I usually give things three attempts when dealing with resistance; if things don’t work after that, I move on. Now, the exception is when one deals with strong resistance, then one might consider instantly walking away.

But besides the moral and perhaps even legal aspects of persistence, it offers other benefits, such as:

• Shows women a form of confidence – you don’t get stopped by simple resistance

• Show social awareness – by taking a step back before moving things further

• It does not make you come across as needy, since once facing resistance, you always take a step back (or multiple steps back depending on the level of resistance) before escalating any further – you never force things

Another benefit of this is that persistence itself is attractive, but more importantly it removes the guilt for being “sexual” away from her; after all, you made it happen – you persisted, right? She is not “accountable” anymore, since you resisted and you kept moving forward (by taking a step backward first). This can remove potential anti-slut defense and make her feel less guilty or ashamed of the potential sexual intercourse to come.

Let us now sum up this article.

Calibrated Touch: Recap

In this post, we went into the practical aspect of calibrating your physical escalation. We covered the basic tools for touching women in a smooth and calibrated way. These are the basics.

In the first phase, we covered same basic rules that serve as fundamentals to physical escalation:

• Escalate with confidence

• Do not hesitate to escalate

• Never look at your hands while you touch her

• Assuming attraction to make it all more powerful

We then discussed the importance of following a ladder. We started by sharing one example of a ladder. The idea here was to escalate the vibe and progress from something rather light into something more sexual and explicit – make her go from “stranger” to “lover.”

We then broke the process into a theoretical framework of 3 levels of physical escalation:

• Social touch

• Intimate touch

• Sexual touch

In the final part of this article, we discussed calibration – the way to escalate smoothly without triggering fatal resistance. We mentioned two key factors:

• Calibrate to the situation

• Calibrate to the girl

At the end of this article, we shared a few words on persistence and dealing with resistance.

If you were looking for more fancy escalation techniques, then stay tuned. My next post will cover more fancy and advanced escalation techniques that might bring your escalation skills to a new level.

Stay tuned...

Alek