Women Don't Care About Your Insecurities

In the dating community, there's always this debate about inner vs. outer game, technique vs. belief.

The truth is, they're symbiotic. Where would the bee be without flowers? It would just buzz around and die.

 

My Friend the Non-Believer

I'm in Mexico at the moment, sharing an Airbnb with a man who is less inclined toward the pickup philosophy than I am. He noticed my teeth are a little crooked because I never had braces as a kid.

"You should get braces. If you fix your teeth, women will find you more attractive," he said.

"I've never had a problem meeting women that find me attractive," I replied.

"Really? Interesting."

Like most men, he is hung up on the idea that women gauge a man's attractiveness based primarily on their looks.

But if that were the case, then all this dating theory wouldn't work. And yet, it does. There's a lot more to women's attraction triggers than a man's good looks.

"If you were taller, it would open up your dating pool to all those tall women," he said.

"I've never had problems attracting taller women. It's my specialty."

My friend has self-image issues. He's overweight and refuses to exercise. He goes for "walks," which is another excuse lazy people make to not exercise. And the fatter he gets, the more he doubles down on his current philosophy.

"You can do sprints or go to the gym," I tell him.

"No, I prefer walks."

I want to shake him and tell him the reason he isn't getting the attention from women he desires isn't that he's got bad teeth or that he's overweight. It's that he believes these are reasons they aren't attracted to him.

Deep down, he probably feels that even if he did work out, fix his teeth, and erase his other insecurities, he still wouldn't get those tall, long-legged women.

 

What You Believe Matters

I subscribe to a different philosophy.

I believe that I am capable of nearly anything I set my mind to. All I have to do is the work.

The cold hard truth about women and what they find attractive is this:

• Women don't care about your insecurities

• They don't care if you don't know what to say

• They don't care if you don't like your thinning hair, crooked teeth, or pot belly

• They care if YOU care

And how do they know if you're an insecure, self-conscious wreck?

There are tells. Just like in poker, they can see if you're bluffing. It's all about your body language and those little Freudian slips.

 

Body Language Tells

The low confidence tells are:

• Eye contact. You can't hold it and break it often

• Fidgeting. This can be with a pen, your hair, or the buttons on your jacket

• Shifting weight. You move from one foot to the other or move around a lot

• Throwing hands. When you talk, your hands fly around all over the place like you're doing card tricks

For the low self-esteem man, the tells seep out like water through a leaky roof.

It might be a little negative comment: "I'm not into the gym. I prefer walks."

"Why?" she might ask. "He doesn't seem to work out. So where does he exercise? Does he exercise at all? Why not?"

Or he might say something like, "I don't really like hot days. I'm more of a night person. My skin is sensitive."

"Why not? Doesn't he like being outside? Won't he go to the beach today? Is he insecure about his body?" she'll think.

Or she tries to take his picture, and he says, "Please, no; I don't like my picture being taken. I feel like everyone just wants to take pictures with their phones nowadays."

"Why not?" She wonders. "Doesn't he like his smile?"

These little tells let her know you're not comfortable in your own skin. But the insecure man will not come out and say, "I don't exercise because I'm lazy," or "I don't like the beach because I'm pale and skinny and embarrassed about what people might think of me."

These men often tell me their insecurities because I'm a dating coach, and they pay me thousands of dollars to hear their burdens.

And if I tell them none of this matters, their insecurities are theirs alone. Yet they don't believe me.

Here's the laundry list of excuses I hear from clients. They are:

• Too short
• Tall
• Fat
• Bald
• Skinny
• Broke
• Rich
• Shy
• Ugly
• Handsome
• Brown
• Black
• White
• Yellow
• Old
• Young
• Smart
• Stupid

It's not their fault, either.

It's their parents, their genetics, or circumstances far beyond their control. If only things were different, and they were born someone else! Then they could get all kinds of pussy!!

Everyone has some anecdotal evidence of a seemingly unattractive guy who has a knack for dating very attractive women.

These men don't let a little thing like "reality" or "evidence" stop them from pursuing women.

They're overweight? The wrong race? Poor? Irrelevant! All these factors only make them sexier.

You must pay close attention to your inner dialogue.

 

Your Self-Image is Illusory

If you could peel off your face and throw it away, who would you be? What if you didn't have a body but were a friendly ghost? How would you interact with the world? You wouldn't have a self-image because you wouldn't have a self.

If you could re-create your image of yourself, who would you be? Handsome? Strong? Extroverted? Adventurous, funny and charismatic?

Your inner mind has a mirror. Look into it now, and see that person; be that person.

 

The Special and Unique Snowflake

Some men spend weeks, months, years reading seduction, pickup, and dating blogs or books. They study courses, watch infield videos on YouTube - yet when it's their turn to take action, they don't.

It's different for THEM. Because they're SPECIAL and have UNIQUE problems that other guys don't. And besides, this stuff only works for guys who are (insert laundry list of specious excuses).

Know that whatever you are going through, whether it's just not knowing "what to say" or thinking you're uglier than sin, you're not alone. You are not the only one who feels like you do.

If other men have suffered as you have, and they overcame it to find tremendous success with women, you can do it too.

You're not special or unique in your suffering, and that's a good thing.

 

Women Care More About How You Feel About Yourself Than What You Look Like

Here's a true statement about women and their psychology:

They don't care.

They don't care about your big nose, your crooked teeth, your brown skin, your accent, your height.

What they care about is how YOU feel about YOURSELF.

There are more than a billion eligible women on this planet. Do you think every single one of them only cares how much money you have or whether you're sporting six-pack abs?

Women are attracted to CONFIDENCE.

Learning GAME is the great equalizer.

The reason game works is that... the vast majority of men don't have it. Not only do they not have it, but they're absolutely terrible with women.

All you have to do to stand out from the hordes of horrible men with no game is have about 10% more than they do.

If you know concepts like:

• Push-Pull
• Breaking Rapport
• Social Proof
• Chase Framing
• Deep Diving
• Cold Reading
• Day Game
• Eliciting Values
• Abundance Mentality

If you know this stuff, you are so incredibly far ahead of the average guy, it's laughable.

You may be a Padawan, but you have a lightsaber, while the average man does not.

Does it matter how someone else perceives you? Yes, if you want something from them.

However, when it comes to charm, how they see you depends entirely on how you see yourself. Your inner dialogue might as well be public knowledge, with all the tells you're throwing out.

Learn how to quiet that inner voice. Meditate. Turn the negative self-talk into your own personal self-improvement guru. Let him inspire you.

When you start telling yourself crap like you're not good enough, tall enough, brave enough - tell it to shut the hell up!

Negativity WILL NOT HELP you achieve your goals, so why pay it any attention at all?

 

To Believe Or Not To Believe

Ultimately, the people who can change their self-image and overcome their doubts will succeed in dating.

I honestly don't care if you're four feet tall. You may not be the next James Bond, but you'll be good enough to at least find an attractive girlfriend.

The alternative, to live the way you've always lived, in a cloud of despair, self-loathing, and loneliness, is not the sort of living any man deserves.

So why not believe in yourself, and do what everyone before you has told you works?