Tactics Tuesdays: The "Cook Dinner at My Place" Date | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays: The "Cook Dinner at My Place" Date

Chase Amante

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Tue, 07/02/2019 - 23:59

cook dinner at my place
Inviting a woman over for dinner is a great date… if you use it right. Get the timing right, get the positioning right, and you have an easy way to close with consistency.

Over the years, I've always found the "let's cook dinner at my place" date a great one for bedding new, delightful women.

Used right, it gets a girl over to your place, alone, doing something constructive and romantic with you... and its gets you in motion around your place together, which gives you lots of opportunities to 'corner her' and kiss, touch, and much more.

However, as excellent as this date is, I've noticed a lot of guys get this date wrong, in a variety of ways. So, for today's Tactics Tuesdays, we're going to look at the most effective ways to make the 'dinner at home' date work extremely well for you.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



Witcher's picture

Was waiting for this article since a long time! 


1.Can it be used as a second date like in the "Getting Girlfried in Two weeks process"? 

2. Can you give a little example of how the texting should look lik to get this as a second date? 

Thanks Chase



Chase Amante's picture


You can use it for any date where it'll fit! If you have a great first date, it'll work fine as your second date in the 2-week get-a-girlfriend process.

So long as she's comfortable enough with you to come to your place, and she's close enough to being ready for sex, it'll often work. You might be able to get it work sometimes she isn't quite ready, but she's close enough, and you're able to do the rest of the work on that date, at your place.

If you want a text to set it up (assuming a good rapport with her, and one solid date already completed with her):

Hey Clara! Hope the family trip went awesome =) Just got back from my trip to Austin myself... man, what a great town. Hey, so I'm thinking we cook dinner and mix some unique drinks sometime in the next few days. I have the perfect setup for a great cooked meal, and this new mixed drink shaker I'm dying to try out. You game to help me break it in?


Mmmmkkkk's picture


What do you think of this video about feminine and masculine energies? 


Chase Amante's picture


Ooh, man, an hour long video.

Have an article version of that I can skim?

I'm not too good with YouTube videos >3 minutes, unless they're Isaac Arthur...


Neal's picture

Hey Chase, I remember reading a textbook on psychology, probably 1990s, that women surveyed being attracted to guys the most when they are 6 inches taller than them.

Now I'm 5'9" and hand out pamphlets to women, with White women the highest rejection. Perhaps there's a correlation that the shorter and shorter a woman, the more and more likely they'll accept my pamphlet.

Just wondering, for all these people that do day game, and say it's a #s name, what if they took into consideration the women's relative height? For example, if they tried picking up girls that were 1-2 inches shorter, they had bad success, but when they tried picking up girls 5-6 inches shorter, they had considerably higher success?

Is it possible to survey your boys this?

And this of course, begs my next question: is it easy for a girl to break up with a guy, that was only 1-2 inches taller than her, to a guy that is 5-6 inches taller than her?


Chase Amante's picture


You're probably thinking of this study.

If found "women stated a mean preference for males who were taller than themselves by 6.7 in."

There's a big difference between stating a preference and what people will actually end up with in the real world. Real world mate choices are restricted to available partners, and people are forced to choose among the different traits they like. Most people will never find mates with the perfect metrics on everything they'd like to have. So they must choose.

Just wondering, for all these people that do day game, and say it's a #s name, what if they took into consideration the women's relative height? For example, if they tried picking up girls that were 1-2 inches shorter, they had bad success, but when they tried picking up girls 5-6 inches shorter, they had considerably higher success?

Is it possible to survey your boys this?

I don't think this is all that crucial a factor. I'm 6', and I'd say roughly at least half women I've had are 5'4" or taller. Might be a majority. Partly that is because I'm just not interested in women much shorter than that, unless they are very pretty.

And this of course, begs my next question: is it easy for a girl to break up with a guy, that was only 1-2 inches taller than her, to a guy that is 5-6 inches taller than her?

I doubt it.

Unless the guy has so little else going for him that height is one of his most prominent attributes, for good or for ill.


Anon_T0dd's picture

I thought this was way too important of an element to leave out or that needed be included so a little surprised but wouldn't "What to cook" be a very vital piece of this?

I've done this only a handful of times as my logistics has changed since discovering this but from experience I would imagine there's definitely some specifc no-no's and general do not guidelines e.g. strong tasting foods (garlic, onions etc.), asking about allergies, avoiding food known to cause gas or bloating, overly complex dishes or ones that take too long (over an hour), etc. Can you speak to this and what would you recommend? Are there "sexy" dishes or ones closer related to seduction? And ones that would probably leave a woman self-conscious about not wanted the quick and sudden passionate makeout. Not every girl will be inticed by the spaggetti sauce still on the corner of your lip.

For me, I also consider auromas and have tried skipping dinner and "let's make a fun dessert" sudden date that seemed way more fun and too a super highway to high emotions, fun, and a "mess".

Or am I wrong and it doesn't matter?

Also, what changes when the dinner date is actually at her place? Whether due to better logistics, the natural way things fell, or because she has a bigger kitchen or what have you.

Chase Amante's picture


That is a vital question, indeed!

I only know a few dishes and am kind of a picky eater, so if I'm cooking for the girl it's chicken. Chopped chicken, with Greek seasoning plus salt (ideally, sea salt), fried in a skillet with butter. And I'll make a side of potatoes. Generally a pretty safe dish.

You should give the girl the option to choose what you'll make. That way she can either tell you what she loves, or at least veto things she can't eat. You don't want to slap a steak on her plate, only for her to not eat it because she's a vegetarian and just didn't want to mention it and rock the boat. So "It's up to you. Either I can cook you some delicious chicken and potatoes, or, I'd love this just as much or more, if you're up for it, you can cook something, and I'll assist" often works great. She'll make what she likes, and it gets her more invested in the date, because she contributes so much more toward it.

Wine works great if you don't want to mix drinks. Keep a bottle of red and white wine on-hand, since some girls have a preference. And keep glasses for each (there are different wine glasses for red vs. white wine). You can teach her how to swirl her wine in the wine glass if she doesn't know (many girls don't), and that's a fun little thing. Wine really helps to set the mood too, of course.

I know guys who are excellent chefs, and use that to make dinner dates even easier. They just talk up what outstanding chefs they are, talk to the girl about some of their best dishes, and invite her over to cook something she shows interest in or tells them she'd like to try.

I've not done the "let's make desserts together" bit... I'm a little careful about desserts, since you never know which girl is on a diet, or who's on a crusade against the sugar industry. But if you've established she likes desserts, and she isn't going to feel bait-and-switched because she was hoping to get properly fed with a meal, I could see that doing well. A piece of chocolate cake drenched in raspberry sauce, or a chocolate mousse with whipped cream, either one served with some wine, could be real good. Chocolate + wine is a nice combo.


Anon_T0dd's picture

Thanks for the response! And definitely agree with the wine aspect. I tend to keep chilled glasses in the fridge as options. The thought and sophistication tend to be noticed and appreciated. To push this further and for increasing compliance, if going to her place, an hour so before I get there, I would texted her to chill a couple glasses for us which also serves the purpose of a reminder text of our date especially if it's been 24 hrs+ since last communication and/or setup of date.

So Chase, what about that last previous question, what changes if it's at her place? Including the actual setup/ask of the dinner date especially if it's due to logistics e.g. living with family? 

PhilS's picture

Hi Chase,

Great article again, thx! 

Isn't there a risk that by cooking a dinner together that the girl will put you in the provider role instead of the lover role? I mean if I just want a fuck buddy type of relalionship, won't this get her hopes up too much for something more?


Chase Amante's picture


This is a good question too!

For the most part, no, you're pretty safe with dinner. If you're the chef, you're doing something for her, sure, but at the same time you should be ordering her around to help, or at least having her keep you company in the kitchen to keep an eye on the oven and be your taste tester for sauces. And there is something very, very sexy to a woman when she sees a man in action doing something capably and well (or even not that well, but he's making a good effort at it).

The provider-y thing to do is to take a woman out to a fancy restaurant, sit at a polite distance away from her, and pay for the meal. If she's at your place, with romantic music on, as you order her about the kitchen, or have her keep you company while you cook, or you have her cooking for you, and you're flirting and touching and kissing, this is a very 'lover'-style date to have.

I'm trying to think of a circumstance in which a dinner date where you cook at home would be provider-y. Maybe if she asked you to do it, rather than you offering, or you offering after she'd done something not good to you. And then her sitting there on the couch on her phone while you did all the work in the kitchen. That's not even provider though... that's just friend zone. I don't think I can think of a good instance of this. Basically it's going to be 'lover' unless you really screw up the date ;)


Witcher's picture

Hey Chase,

Any tips on how to run it but with the girl coming to cook at my place? I suck at cooking but would gladly buy the ingredients!

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