How Girls Show Interest | Page 2 | Girls Chase

How Girls Show Interest

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

Women are subtle in how they show interest. Well, by male standards, anyway. Even when women think they are blatantly obvious, they’re quite often being very subtle by male standards.

Learning to tell how girls show interest is a very valuable skill for a man, because it will allow him to operate with greater assurance he’s making the right move at the right time, and will also allow him to pick up the pace when a woman signals she is ready.

The last couple of girls I slept with surprised me a little at how quickly they were ready to get together. They gave me some hints that probably would’ve seemed fairly subtle; a friend of mine remarked that one of the girls I took home and bedded rather quickly quite recently hadn’t even seemed to be terribly interested in me, and that it just looked like we were having a good conversation. Being able to read the signals they gave me was the main reason I moved as quickly with them as I did.

Comments

vineet's picture

Hey..
I need some help here. Could you tell me if these are Indicators of interest..
She is in my class. She asked for my number to study. But she hasnt called. I guess that could be purely academic, but still she could have asked others, or maybe she just felt comfortable asking me. She turned around in class and looked at me for a flash second( i was sitting in the back row)
When I spoke to her, her eyes were darting back and forth on my eyes. But again she is very outgoing to whoever she speaks to.
I spoke to her on the phone, again it was studies related, but then she started asking insignificant study questions (subject that was taken a year ago!!), I felt that she didnt want to hang up the phone, but she didnt know what to say.I finally hung up! This is just a gut feeling so I am not too sure though.
Advice would be greatly appreciated. Please be honest, if she is not interested , just say it outright. I don't know if I am overanalyzing.
And finally as you can figure out by now, I am very amateur with women still
Thanks yo

Anonymous's picture

Hi Vineet,

I'll help you out: she's waiting for you to move the conversation forward.

From my perspective as a woman, it's pretty clear that she's waiting for you to take the initiative, but you're not biting! And the longer you wait, the more frustrated and annoyed she's getting, and the more likely she'll lose interest, and give up and look elsewhere.

We women do this. When we meet a guy we like in a workplace situation / school situation or whatever, but we don't want to be the first one to make the move, we'll lead the guy forward, giving him prompts to get things going, by communicating but keeping things "on topic" to work, school, or whatever. I'd bet that she's giving you a whole lot of other body language signals that you're missing too.

No offence, but you're a dope!

Next time you see her, for goodness sake, ask her out. Say something like, "hey this school stuff is really boring, how's about we ditch and go see a movie / do lunch / go to the beach?" Too easy, and you watch her light up.

This is one thing that really pisses me about men. They do it all the time. They can see we're interested, but are too dumb to put all the clues together and actually take a risk on making a move. Say they get it wrong, and we turn them down - what's the worst that can happen from that? Nothing! You learn to pay more attention to body language and verbals next time, that's all, and in the meanwhile you've gained experience in asking.

We women are mostly a pretty traditional bunch and there is NO WAY we're going to ask you out. So get your s**t together and ASK US!

CJames's picture

Alright so I'm 20 years old and I've had bad luck with women. I've been on both sides of learning signals. Meaning I lost my first girlfriend because I showed to much and tried to score to often. And I lost my second girlfriend because I showed no interest and she cheated on me with 7 other guy's. Both times I had a really hard time with being civil. So I met this new girl online and she's almost perfect. I started talking and it felt like I knew her forever. I diffinatly don't know what I'm doing when I'm talking to her but I know how to thrill her when I have her alone. I still live with my parents and they were out of town one week so I invited her over for salmon (cooking should be something covered here. I don't think I would have scored without it) And convinced her to go swimming anyway even though it was raining and she lost her swimming suit at her friends house. Basically my first kiss with her was after I tried to guess how to spell her last name (really hard btw. Took me like 20 tries) I asked her what I got if I did and she asked what I wanted. I asked for a kiss. Basically I'm bad at speaking. After she slept with me she said she was looking for someone to just be friends first. I want to be her lover but I'm cool with being friends for now. Did I make a mistake by letting her tell me we should start by being friends? It just seems inconvenient right now. Because she live's 40 min away and I don't have a car either. I know you can get women without those things. (hell I did it once right?) But I don't know how to keep her interested and still date other women. I'm in a pickle (witch she teases in saying that's her favorite food)
I'm very observant I just don't know how to go for more than one woman and I think she is an awesome girl to actually be a long term girl.

Anonymous's picture

Hey guys!Excellent site.Well...It´s a long history but i´ll try to explain the most clearly as possible.Last year i met a girl at my school and since than i never had peace again.She´s very strange and i don´t know what to do.Sometimes loooks like she is showing signals to me but than,suddenly seems like i was wrong(is always the same history).She´ll graduate i don´t have too much time for doing something.Once i caught her looking to me but then she acts really strange(for example,walk close to me and don´t even say hello),and i gave her some "gifts",but even so...Everybody says that she´s like this with everyone but...Once i looked to her with that look(the hot look)and after it she was talking with me normally.I´m confused and i want to give up ut when i see har i forget it all...It´s like i saw in one of the comments:"It takes energy (and an ego hit) for me to chase. It gives energy (and ego boost) to the women. Something doesn't add up".Can you help me?

Mark's picture

Hi Chase, great articles, really appreciate your time in putting this awesome content. I'll be brief with my question/situation as i can:) Your response would be greatly appreciated and perhaps others would also benefit from your suggestion.

I am in my early 30's had a great date with a lady i met online, in fact, it was awesome, went for a desert in a fun place we had so much in common, and i notice she is really enjoying our company i invited her for a boardwalk along the beach after desert, which was amazing and since it was Saturday night and a club was near, we went and had a good time, dancing, laughing. After club, i took her home, she extended her lips and we french kissed for few minutes really passionalty. I told her i willl call her tomorrow, which i did and she answered right away. We planned to meet up later on over the phone which was for next Saturday as she said she had stuff to do during the week. We spoke briefly during the week (twice) and few text msgs, i didn't call eveyday, didn't want her to feel that i am desparate. Suddenly she sent me a text on Friday saying: ''Mark, i want to be honest, we can't see each other again, i have feelings for another guy, you are an amazing person, wish you all the best.'' I did not see it comming, what do you think went wrong, is this a lost cause?

Mark

Anonymous's picture

Hi, Better tell the whole story. I'm a teenager who know met this girl about a year ago and on and off we kept in touch. Like once every few months we'd have a short conversation. The last time I saw her was May until I randomly got a text from her a few days ago telling me she split up she split up with her boyfriend. I thought this is great! Only now she won't answer my texts... What should I do?

Thanks .

Anonymous's picture

This was all very useful, but what if you never even get to speak to a woman? Never have a date, etc?
What signs of interest are there that a woman even wants you to speak to them? I don't appear to see any signs of interest from women at all, and I go out to bars a lot.

The Confused's picture

So I have met this gorgeous women who was interested in me. I played the cocky confident guy telling her look I know you like me too much and all that stuff..

Anyways I had 2 dates with her (apart from meeting her with friends twice initially). The last one went horribly wrong as it was conducted as an interview. I wish I never gone there!

The girl seemed still interested in me and she said we will be going out with her friends but I am not sure whether or not that is a sign that she lost interest. Then I didn't get contact for a week then I called her asking how she was and we started talking about a movie she watched then all of a sudden she offered that I would watch the movie with her and said okay and I will let you know. few hours later I sent her a message kidding with her saying that she doesn't have to go to this movie again unless she didn't understand it proceeding with a text saying what she thinks of another movie.. A week later I called her but she didn't pick up the phone so I have sent her a message asking her about a time for us to meet over the weekend, a day after she replied apologizing and saying she couldn't make it this weekend and asked if next weekend. To be honest I thought that i am being played around with so I told her alright I will let you arrange it and asked her to just let me know.. She never called since!

My friends who are close to her told me that she is not interested anymore.. Not sure if there is window where I can give it another try. Would be great if there is as this is one of a kind.

Is there a chance or shall I just leave it?

AnotherFan's picture

Hey Chase,

Found your blog today and loving it. When I read this post I was wondering what some other tell-tale signs of interest are. Do the ones below seem legit, or any other suggestions?

- When we sit next to each other on the couch, her foot tends to end up against my foot
- She lets me place my head on her shoulder when watching a movie (or is this just politeness?)
- Tells me it's not very social when I sit a bit further away on the couch.

This is something I missed in you article. You say the signs are usually very subtle, but the signs you describe in this article usually aren't very subtle at all. So I was wondering if you could provide some more, more subtle, signs?

William's picture

Ask her eight times? Are you kidding? Isn't that kind of chasing?

AnonymousG's picture

Hey Chase,

I am getting back into the dating game and this site has been a huge help and the articles you have on here are golden. I have about a date a week, but there is this one girl at work that is just gorgeous I have been building a connection with her for about a month. We have hung out in groups together and I have isolated her at work and have deep dived her a few times. She sees I show interest and she shows interest in me, I have her chasing me a bit but my issue is she is far younger than me by 10 years. When i go on my regular dates the info you discus on this site works awesome, but I can't figure what to do with this girl. Is it because she is so young(21)? And she does not know the game much? I have asked her out a few times but our schedules conflict, she always gives me the signals that we Should do this and that but she is busy an so am I. I just wonder if I'm misinterpreting her signals and she just wants to hang out, is it a different game with a younger woman? Because with the women I usually date that are nearer my age, they are more straight forward once I show my interest.

If you can help thanks

Anonymous's picture

What does it mean when you confessed to a girl that you're interested in, and got rejected, then suddenly she started a 3 hour conversation with you a few months later, then suddenly went back to ignoring all your messages to her? Any help would be appreciated.

Anonymous's picture

So I met this girl that came through my place of work. She was a customer and our intial contact, she was in a relatonship with a guy and I met them as customers together and they both had a kid of thier own ( no kids together). She always kind of had her eye on me every time she came to my work. Their relationship ended and the relationship that I was in also ended. We talked a little at my work and I told her to come visit me again some time.
A week or so goes by and she never stops in, but her co-worker makes the trip in and approaches me about knowing this girl. I told her we had chatted and that I was interested and she is more then welcome to give her my number. So, she called me and we met up at a pub for a few drinks. The date ended horrible. Some of her friends from work showed up and so i called some friends from work down and our date turned from just the two of us to just the 6 of us. At any rate by the end of the night we had a few too many drinks and I was told to not contact her again and remove her number from my contacts. I said consider it done, and I removed the number from my phone and wrote it off.
About 5 days after that date I recieved a missed call from her number ( some how i recognized it). So, i texted her and said "I had a missed call from your number? Did you need something?" she said she knows she accidentally butt dialed me. Then she started up a conversation about how I was an so on. We talked quite frequently and setup a second date. The second date ended great with a kiss to seal the deal. And her complimenting me on the best first kiss she has ever had.
Through conversation, I found that she has an extensive history of duesche bag exs that abused her on many levels. That she use to work many years ago with one of my ex gf that I had kids with (prior to me having any kids).
Anyways, I ended up moving 200 miles away, and she called me everyday for 7 months to wake me up for work and again at night from anywhere from a half hour to an couple hours. I recently moved back to the same city, we now do not talk as much and she says she wants to meet up and sets time to meet, but when push comes to shove bails or has something come up when we are suppose to meet. During the 7 months of being away, I would come back and try to meet up with her and I was only about 20% successful in having her meet up with me for dates. She wouldn't let me pay for all of our dates either. She calls me attractive and believes that many women would like to be with me. I only want to be with this girl, i dont have the desires of meeting any new girls on a romantic level. I've sent her a lot of shirtless pictures via the cell phone, and she always has positive feedback and always wants more. She super cautious about me seeig where she lives or getting too close. She also does not know where I live nor have we met each others children.
I'm not sure what to make of this situation. I'm confused if she has a genuine interest or what not. One other thing I should note is that her ex apparantly is obssessed with her still and doesn't leave her alone. The last few days she has been very short and has even ignored my calls and texts. Last week she called me everyday sometimes up to 8 times in a day talking with me for nearly half an hour each call. I'm not sure if she is scared now that I'm back or if there is another reason she is acting the way she is....
I guess if anyone has any insight into this type of situation or a typical outcome from this type of situation, I'm all ears!

Anonymous's picture

Well, short story really... We met a short while ago at the workplace, both of us working for the same organization. After a few days I asked for her number she gave it quite willingly and and started texting and whatnot. Then I found out what her fav flower is, so at the shop we were at I bought her a fake plastic one, seeing as how we didn't have real flowers and just decorative plastic ones. I thought it would be a nice/cute gesture seeing as how she didn't know I knew of her fav flowers. (I personally hate the idea of getting/giving fake flowers normally, but this time i thought it would be a nice surprise). She smiled 'vastly' (if an adverb like that can be attributed to a smile) and literally blushed quite visibly when presented with the flower. ... At the end of the shift that day, she left/forgot it at work. What do I make of that? Truly forgot it? Not interested? Test of some sort? ...

JC's picture

Hi Chase.
First of all, let me tell you that all the articles here are very interesting, I just can't stop reading them.
So my story is like this: I had two girlfriends at highschool (at a different time of course), but they were pretty easy to get because they were my friends and suddenly came out of the blue and confessed to me, and I accepted. No big deal here. So now in college, I met this girl in one of my classes and suddenly she started talking to me, there were a lot of signals through the semester which I wasn't oblivious, but I wasn't sure if they were intended that way and also didn't know how to react to them, she also invited me to a date, asked my phone number,etc (yeah..., I know, I'm kinda stupid for these things)
So...classes finished, we maintained contact for a while by facebook and well....It ended that way. So....I wanted to ask, what should I do after I confirmed the signals? ask her to be my girlfriend? become more intimate with her? I don't know what to do because my previous relationships didn't require any effort from me. By the way, I'm 21, and the girls I usually date are my age or a little younger than me.

I would appreciate it if you enlighten me with your knowledge.
thanks

ExpectTheBest's picture

What about if you're in a different setting. (like sitting down somewhere, or in a library/classroom) and a girl you're close to keeps stretching -before you've opened her.
I know I can't be the only guy who's seen this happen (just judging by how many girls I've been around who've done this.) Is this a sign of interest or that she wants to talk to you? and would you be able to put up some signs of a girl being interested before you actually open her?

Jake's picture

For real, you're the best!!!

Last week, I met a very cute girl in a volunteering program for the first time. We started talking to get to know each other...like travel, adventure..parties..stuff like that. then she asked me where I live, and we found out that we're neighbors. I wanted to make a move, but I told myself, I don't want to be too pushy, and I will ask her next time I see her. we're going to have the same shift once a week for the next 2 months.

My question, is it going to make her put some distance form me if I asked her out and she didn't want to specially that we are in a working environment?

Also, in general, how do you respond to a girl if she said that she has a boyfriend? I personally don't care if she has or not, but I feel girls use this excuse a lot even if they don't really have one.

Jake,

Anonymous's picture

Hi chase
I really like your articles simple and not misleading like other ones anyway I read on your other article about a girl who has boyfriend and I can't really distinguish between a girl who's just teasing guys and a girl who's interested in them she always starts conversations first dosent that mean she's interested?
The girl who I'm talking about is doing it to all guys but I feel like I'm special neg to mention that she's very attractive (probably most attractive woman in town) I saw a really good looking guy hitting on her) I'm an average looking guy also I'm a quiet guy and kinda shy maybe she likes that about me .. Sorry for the long post

Signals's picture

I have 2 colleagues, 1 guy and 1 girl. They are BFFs.

One day, as I arrive in the office, it becomes evident that my presence had disrupted a spirited discussion between the 2 of them.

So I ask "What is up?", and the guy tries to sneak in an answer, only to be cut off by the girl, who says that "It's not important - it's a stupid question anyway".

At my insistence, the guy finally relents, and says "She thinks that you like her". At this point, the girl interjects and says that she noticed a high degree of correlation between my laughter and hers. My response was something along the lines of a playful "I have a tendency to be easily amused", at which point, the guy tells the girl that "Not everything revolves around you, you know?".

What am I to make of the situation? Is this an IOI? The girl exhibits most of the other IOIs (comfort with me invading her personal space, maintains eye contact, playing with hair, lip-biting, etc)

P.S. Why does it say that my IP is banned from the forums? I have not registered nor made a single post to date? Keep up the excellent blog though. Glad to see that you fixed the RSS feed - it stopped working for a while.

Anonymous's picture

So quick context: Asked this girl to meet me for coffee. She couldn't make it the first time. Was chill about it and we rescheduled for the same thing, except this time I had her come over to my apartment to pick me up so we could go together.

I met her downstairs at the front of my complex and we greeted each other. After that there was this weird disconnect of direction. I started walking out of the complex to go to her car so we could leave but I saw her take a step inward the complex, toward where I had just came out from, my apartment. She then quickly corrected herself to follow me to go outside?

Was she hinting to go to my apartment immediately? Should I have acted on that and said something like, "Oh, you want a tour of the place real quick? Yeah let's do that." It was just one of the things that stuck out at me when I looked back. Perhaps it could have made things more efficient.

AP's picture

Hi Chase,

great site! wish i had found it much earlier. i've had many instances where i've been confused as in, the girl would show interest and ask me to meet her and when i meet her next time she'd behave as if she barely knows me. The latest happened today morning. I've been taking my mom to he hospital for her treatment and there's a cute front desk girl there who shows interest. its been almost 6 months and now i felt is the time to make a move (as i wasn't sure earlier). i went to meet her with an excuse that i came to the hospital to see someone and thought of dropping by and say Hi. She spoke with me but then got quiet and started to work. i said "seems like you're busy so i'll leave". she said ok. then i asked her" can we have a cup of coffee together someday? she wiggled in her seat and said "yes sure" (without looking at me). i said "Now?" she said "not now. i have some work to do. maybe some other time". i said "so how is it going to work. are you going to call me or shall i call you". she said "ok you call". and then i left. that was Monday. I don't have her personal number but she carries the hospital's mobile phone. I called her on Friday morning to ask her out for coffee on Saturday. She answered the phone as if she doesn't know who is calling. and was generally cold while talking as if speaking like professional front desk. line was bad so it got cut. i call again after 1 minute and a male person answered the call. What does this mean? is she not interested and avoiding me?

jwilkinson12's picture

All right, so I will just put it out there that I sing opera. There is a really cute girl who is in the chorus with me. I'm not sure how much more she may be interested in me than in other guys. She did compliment me on my looks today, and yesterday she kind of leaned over and scratched me on the head. I've been kind of just indicating my interest in her in subtle ways (mostly eye contact). It's all pretty subtle stuff. The thing is, all of us who sing in this opera chorus, both male and female, are all pretty confident, sexually healthy people who know how to act as if we are interested in each other - perhaps even if we aren't sure of it ourselves; or perhaps to assert our ability to be emotionally free, regardless of consequence, and not necessarily meaning that we are literally interested in someone. Myself being an actor, and she a singer/songwriter to boot, I'm not sure how much of the flirting is real and how much is just a result of being around all these other creative people who like to flirt just as a matter of course. We all do it, to some extent, I think, because singing opera means you're really in touch with your authentic self all the time, and everyone else's too. I want to take her hints seriously (if they are hints) and ask her out or something, but then I don't know if she is just playing around. For all I know she is just very complimentary to guys and she may also be touching other guys in little ways, perhaps almost invisibly but still there. I mean, if I was a girl around all these talented guys I might be flirting with many of them just to see what happens. Is she just waiting for someone to bite? I wonder if the rules are different in a creative and sexual environment when everyone is attracted to everyone else. But I could be wrong. Any advice on how to tell a flirt from a serious hint in this kind of context? (E.g. I mean, when "flirting" means not serious, and hints mean it is serious.) What should I say? I could go ahead and flirt back... I mean, if it isn't serious, I don't have anything to lose. Just wondering if anyone can relate to this situation. Thanks.

Tomas's picture

Chase,

I love this article, its importance is crucial! There's a thing you didn't mention. I think that this is a reason for a plateau that many intermediate seducers hit. I lost many women this way and I still do sometimes.

So, the "plateau date" goes like following:
Man is attractive and cool - Woman likes him a lot - Woman gives signal - Man is flattered and stays cool so that women invests in him - Woman waits and gives one more signal - Man feels great and keeps it cool - Woman gets frustrated and autorejects - Game over

Now, after the date, the man analyzes the problem why she rejected him. Was he attractive enough? Should he pump more attraction next time? NO! To realize the problem, the right and shocking question is: WHY DID YOU REJECT THE WOMAN YOU WANTED?

Best Regards, Tom

Anonymous's picture

Hi,

great site and material.

This turned out probably not the best place to post, but reading this thread triggered my question.

I just broke up with a girl I dated for six months. As per her report, I was the first guy she ever dated. Never kissed, held hands, nothing. She is early twenties, Chinese.

One of the main reasons why we broke up was the recurrent issue of physical intimacy.

Early on when we started dating, I asked her about her take on sex. She said that she would only become physically intimate like that with a guy if she knew the relationship was really stable, and that she really trusted the guy. And that the guy should be able to respect that. I told her at the time that I wasn't sure about that, but that I was willing to see how things go.

We kissed on our third date. I think she came over to my place for dinner a few dates later. Every time I try to make things progress along, she keeps pushing me back. I got frustrated, and asked her why she was so resistant.

She couldn't verbalize why, except to say that she didn't feel comfortable enough. I pushed the envelope and asked if she trusted me, and she was like "not completely"...this issue kept rearing its ugly head every time we had some privacy and i tried to make some progress. I said to her that I could even wait for sex till later, but at least we should be able to express ourselves intimately in many other ways.

The night we broke up, we had went out for dinner, everything was perfect, and then back to my place. i started making out with her, and eventually let my hands explore, and again resistance. we had this long talk, and we re-hashed a bunch of things like how physical intimacy is important to me, and why she was so hesitant in taking things further. why she didn't trust me fully etc....

The same night:

I also asked her if she thought about sex. she said "i do of course. but not as much as you do."

i asked "do you ever get turned on when you're with me?" her answer: "i think it's hard not to get turned on if i'm with someone that i'm attracted to".

I ask: "do you have any sexual fantasies?" Her: "yes, but i'm not comfortable discussing that"

The turning point where she came to the conclusion that this would not work out for her was when i told her that I thought that maybe she was so anxious about becoming more physically intimate with me because this was all new, and that once she could experience the pleasures of it that she would enjoy it. This to her meant that I was trying to convince her to my way of thinking, and that was okay, but that also meant that i would never be able to appreciate and respect her principles. this was a deal breaker for her.

We've spoken about this more than a few times now, and because she isn't able to verbalize what she's feeling or thinking, I have no clue what's going on. I'm a super analytical person, and I know that I need to move on with life. But I really haven't been able to find closure.

Help?

Anonymous's picture

Found this post, was quite interesting, read couple of other ones, and one thing I don't get is the game playing. I mean do guys (and girls?) really constantly play head games? What age are we talking about? Early twenties? I don't see how anyone would have tons of energy to keep anything like that up, it would only cause me head aches. As a woman I can say that most women (at least the ones I have talked to) appreciate honesty and want the guy to be pretty straightforward. If someone acted as if they were interested in me and then suddenly acted as if they were not, I'd probably walk away. I'm not going to wait around for him to act normal again. Of course, I wouldn't want a stalker, but it is totally ok to express exactly what you feel. About approaching - if a guy likes me he could just say so without being pushy - buying me a drink and letting me enjoy it wo pressure, giving me his number just before he is about to leave - it is perfect, no need to talk non stop or aggressively pick up - if I like him back, I'll probably get him a drink as well or walk over and talk to him, and if I don't like him, he will see that. And it is absolutely fine to say something like hey, I just want to have fun. If I'm up for it, I'm up for it. If not then not. I'm into relationships, but I have had couple of one night things. People should just be nice about it, and be nice to each-other in the morning, and it's all cool, even when they already know they don't want it to lead anywhere. I guess it comes with age. Keep in mind, girls usually decide right away whether they want to sleep with you or not, so no matter what you say, if she wants to sleep with you she will (if you don't f..k it up), if she doesn't want to, she won't. You might think, wow, it took me only half an hour to convince her, no, you didn't convince her, her mind was made up. After starting to date someone and after few nights together we probably know whether we want it to go somewhere or not (probably after the first night we know!), so in case I'm falling for him I let him know that if there are other women, I'm out. It really is not that complicated. Why make our lives so hard!? Enough of that... :-) About girls giving signals - yes, I find it all true. We do give signals. Like if a guy tells me I'm cute/pretty/beautiful or whatever, and if I find him hot, I say something like so are you or here we are, 2 beautiful people together. :-) Anyway, point is I make it known I'm into him. If he asked me what would I like to do next I'd simply say I'd like to go to my place and spend more time together. Guys, sometimes we find someone irresistible, but we can't just go up to them and say, hey I would like to sleep with you and the sooner the better. So please, yes, make suggestions, the girls will gladly accept. ;-) Of course, if they are really into you they probably hold back at first, but there can be plenty of making out the first night, and soon enough (next time? third time?) action follows. And then if you want it to continue, make it known. And I advise against games.

Anonymous's picture

i like a girl ande we are best frndzz,
we are in all 5 people in our group. out of which 2 are girls and 3 of us guys
i like one of the girl as i mentioned above and so does my friend amongst 3 of us does
but she ain't comfortable with him . like she will talk to him in presence of anyone of 4 people amongst us
we travell home together
sometimes i get feeling that she likes me
i searched for related content on few sites i found that we make good company together
we share many things
and as above mentioned signs by you i think she likes me but on other side i also feel that she doesn't
is it so that she likes me or it is my false belief that she likes me (only coz i like her)

please help me

Isaiah's picture

There's this girl who is sending me mixed messages. On certain days she would be very chatty via text, sending me a chuck of words, while on others she would send a short sentence or two. Not only that, when I hinted to her that I have interest in her, she would often act blur and simply reply a "huh?" I'm really puzzled because there were times she asked if I missed her and when I returned the question to her, she would either say, you didn't reply me or nope:). I need some advice guys! We are having our final exam and my friends told me I should wait till it's over before confessing to her.

daniel's picture

Hi guys, I am really confused.

I am about a 7/8 out of 10 in the looks department, I am fit looking but not massive. The thing is, I always get girls looking at me, smiling at me, double glancing at me but sometimes i think " well i dont know if they are interested maybe they are just nice and smile at everyone"

anyway, basically everywhere i go, i get guys perving at me constantly, Guys will just stare at me, this is from gay guys and straight guys. I have had 4 guys in the last 2 weeks say to me " i am there perfect man and its a shame that im not gay"

Why am i getting guys coming up to me when i dont even look or talk gay? i really dont understand.

Neocene's picture

Here are some that I've come across when a woman ISN'T interested in you:

1. Gives you one word answers, leaving nowhere to keep the conversation going.
2. When you try to tell her something, she'll give you a generic answer like "That's nice", "Oh that must be cool", "Awesome". etc
3. She takes no interest in what you do, where you're form, or asks anything that would keep the conversation going.
4. Turns her back towards you.

Just some things to keep in mind.

Anonymous's picture

There's this girl that I met 2 months ago, my friends challenged me to get her number and I did and at later I actually started liking her and she seemed intrested too, she called me hot an sexy and I called her gorgeous and beautiful and after a while I asked her what would she do If I asked her out and she said she like being single ( she broke up with her boyfriends like 4 months ago) but she still texted me calling me hot and we have talked about some weird stuff and she's told me some of her secrets but recently I said what would you do I asked you out and she said we needed to hangout more before she could tell so I made plans to go see a movie but she recently ignored a text of mine( but later we snapchatted) and i text her first most of the time, do I seem too intrested? She gets high like 2 times a week and she's not that smart, I'm a year older then her and we go to high school, advice? Am I worrying over nothing?

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase, Not sure you'll reply after all this time but reading some these articles raises a few questions for me. I'm 21 jobless, still live at home, and don't have a car. I'd really rather not have to say to a girl that I still live with my parents if she asked "Where do you live" or "Do you live a lone" how exactly do I deal with that?

Also being that I don't have any money or a means to get from point A to point B, how would I even be able to take a girl out? I wouldnt want to have to explain to every girl I meet that she's gonna have to pay for everything and also give me rides to and from as well. Wouldnt that make me seem like a total bum?

Don Juan's picture

Hey Chase,

Great post as always, i had a question tho .

Every single time i open and start talking to a pretty girl,
the latter blushes like '' oh my God..he is talking to me?! '' ,
problem is that when i speak to them, i am not entirely sure that they're interested,
for example :

Me: Sorry, Do you know that time it is?

Her: 2.17 PM

Me: Thanks. Great Style by the way !

Her: Oh thanks you too! (laughs and smiles as she checks me out) i heard
Portobello Market has a lot of good vintage !

Me: yea..it's a nice jam!

Me: So..where are you from ?

Her: I'm from Downtown NYC, but i study in LA and i am taking my masters
in London !

Me: Hey..that's sweet, how do you like London ?

Her: it's really nice! i quite like it

At this point she went quite and i thought that she wasn't into me, i mean
i didn't notice much interest by her side so i just kept quite, like i was talking too much :P

What's your view and opinion on this?

Grazie Chase!

Don Juan

Goatboy's picture

This is frustrating to read, cause I realize just how many girls I might have had a shot at...

loismer's picture

hey maybe even chase can help me. I was at a night club last week (I am one of these guys that's an odonis. Anyway along the wall there is this long sofa and I was sitting on it and this girl sits down right next to me and pressing as hard as she could against me so I was like hmmmm I put my arm around her and she got up and ran away so is this the anti slut defense?
And my other question is I get women doing this a lot, mostly just getting very near me so another time this happened I was sitting at those tables they have that are 5 feet tall like 2x3 feet size and you sit 4 feet up with a stool on each side, well I was sitting alone and this perfect 10 comes to the bar with 3 friends 10 feet away and then these other 4 guys started cockblocking (I thought anyway, they all lined up side by side so I couldn't see her) LOL but heres what blew me away, the perfect 10 chick gets up and goes around the cockblock dudes and stands at my freaking table! I just got the deer in the headlights feeling so I froze, this totally
Fcuked up the cocklock dudes LOL. So my question is when this stuff is happening
how do I not provoke the anti slut thing!? I know I'm extremely lucky that I hardly ever have to approach literally but I screw stuff up almost non stop. HELP

Anonymous's picture

Chase Amante, I do not know if you ever gonna read this, but THANKS a lot.
I would take a lot of time to discover this hints if wasn't for you.Thank you again.

Ray's picture

After reading this article, now with 29 years and a lot of ex girlfriends and hookups I only now realized that I missed a lot of obvious opportunities. Realy now when I remember some of them I fell like a complete idiot.
- A girl that I met at a club inviting me to go eat and then buying me food and her just drinking cola zero
- A girl showing me wallpaper photo on her Iphone in which she looks very sexy and asking me if I think she is preety
- A girl coming wet in towel after shower at mine and my friends hotell room door to invite us to go with her and her girl friend at same club
- A cute 17 years young innocent girl at a new years party that came to me, removed ring from her hand and put it on my finger
- A XYZ of girls orbiting near my table in a cofee shops (egsample when I arrive, I wasnt looking at theyr table, so they immediately went to toilet passing by so I can notice them)
- A girl that barely know me in a coffeshop waiting a rain to start so she can ask me to drive her home (now I guess she probably hoped something will happen in a car)
......

I feel terrible now. I completly ignored them and they started to hate me after some time. I was wondering why do they hate me becouse I didnt do anything to them (wich is particulary why they hated me) - thats how ignorant and arogant I was.

Chase this site realy opened my eyes. Some of this things in your articles I was suspecting and allready understod by myself but Im not good with words so I could ever explain these psychology like you did thoroughly.
But lately in life Im expiriencing one problem. Woman that I need proffesionaly start to hate me and making me problems becouse I didnt meet they expectations, didnt notice them as sexual prospects etc. How can I prevent this from happening? Should I try to get friendzoned with girls Im just not attracted.
But there is other problem, I like some of their friends and I dont want to look like a fagot - friend in front of them. I mean how can someone come across as friend material to one and sex material to other woman when they two know each other and are friends and Im seeing both? I tried not to touch woman i dont like and discreete touch a woman i do. But woman I dont like somehow feel that and still hate me.
Is this possible to attract only woman you are attracted to and not attract (in order to not have problems at job) woman your not?

erikc76's picture

over the years i've read various articles on these topics. i came across your site by accident today and i have to say it's one of the best i've ever read on the topic. one experience i had is very similar to your story with the south korean girl except i actually got her into bed before shooting myself in the foot.

everything had been going my way, and in hindsight i realized she made like 80% of the effort up to that point and stupid me was skeptical and unsure of her intentions so i intentionally didn't reciprocate strongly enough because i doubted things were really going my way. and like you said, i never got another chance with her.

i realized months later i basically had her ready, willing, and able and all i had to do was put an ounce of effort and i failed to do my part. she and i kept in touch as friends for the past few years and i only brought our date up once and joked it off about how dumb i was that night, and she was basically like "omg, yeah you were".. and that confirmed it for me.. ah well, at best it was a painful but necessary learning experience. i'm never making that mistake again.

Anonymous's picture

Just wanted to say from a girl's perspective that this article is VERY true!! In fact I've often wondered if there was something weird about me that I behave the way I do when I'm really attracted to a guy - I drop a hint to show interest then get shy and quiet and become intently focused on acting distant, hoping that he will realise what I'm doing. I'm so glad to read that other girls do this too!

I hate my behaviour because it usually backfires - guys don't know how to read me and end up backing off, which was the last thing I wanted them to do.

Hopefully more guys read this article and learn to read between the lines!

Anonymous's picture

Great advise Chase, gave some of it a go with a skittish one and it worked quite well. She is a great cat and mouse player, but responds when the things I say are what she wants to hear.

Have had a couple of hard to get ones and they have always been quite badly damaged from previous relationships. They want company but they also value the freedom that they have managed to gain after coming out of long term bad relationships. These are the ones that I seem to be attracted to for some reason. They will do the sex thing and thoroughly enjoy it, just fear the loss of freedom side of things so will basically become skittish beyond that.

Have another one on the cards and don't get me wrong, I have my own personal issues as well. Maybe it is the rejection that initiates me to pursue. Anyway, I know it is going to take time and patience. There is going to be some serious convincing as well that I will be committed to the relationship and will not cramp her style. This one I am hoping to make permanent, but will see. Karma can be a bitch.

Wonka's picture

i met this girl at a library, and we would hangout sometimes in the library... flirting whipsering etc,
anyway once i saw her outside the library and it i almost kissed her but was afraid to because she is too hot and i guess she now thinks that im just teasing her and playing with her, dint saw her more but shes kinda ignoring my text messages... shes replying but doesnt sound interested anymore

what to do?!

Rodimus Prime's picture

"You have a big backseat..." - said out of the blue; that was the most blatant one I've missed. I can't tell you how many times I've beaten my head against the wall for missing that one. Great stuff as always, Chase.

Anonymous's picture

If guys use the same cover-ups like turning to talk to his friends, losing interest and looking around, etc. Does it mean the same thing as when girls do this? Is it something to ignore?

yash sarswat's picture

Really chase ..I became ur real fan by...reading ur articles...
AWSOME tips...
Thank u

starman2014's picture

hi every one :)
there is this lass i been txting for a year this week we met up on wed this week for the first time when i first see her she got to me as soon as i see her i say hi n we get on well i was on holiday and she comes to join me after she finished work there is just me n her n 2 of my mates we went bowling n had drinks had a right laugh she ends up stoping over n i fell asleep on the sofa in villa n she ends up in a room with a m8 but in diffrent beds he has a gf n he knows i realy like this lass i dont think any thing wud happen tbf next day she goes to work n we are as b4 she txts me every single day at least 10 times a day n its still not changed n she ends up coming back thursday night we go bar drinks bowling have laugh again my m8 n her getting on well i talk to him about her n he tells me to slow down n play it cool n make her jealous so i go to the bar n start chatting bar maid up end up with her number free bowling all night n had a right laugh n this other lass sees all this n starts showing more intrest towards me which is the idear n now shes asking me about her n how we are getting on now i dont know where to go next to get her in my arms so what do i do

Anonymous's picture

hey theres this girl at the gym giving me all kind os sighs that she like me the day i was gonna make a move and now she is giving me the cold shoulder what should i do i think i like her

House Of Pheromones's picture

An excellent article, Chase. While I'm not into the PUA community, I have had a mentor in the past who taught me that when a woman is interested, its mostly the guys fault that screws up the entire thing - and gets flat out rejected or friendzoned.

Case in point, in my inexperienced days there was an extremely beautiful girl I was interested in. She was interested in me, but there was a question about distance from eachother (not drastic, an hour drive max), which made her double think things. In our previous interaction, I had the PERFECT chance to kiss her... and I completely blew it. I actually beat myself up for more than a year after that happened and inevitably got the "lets just be friends" speech.

Because I was into "PUA" before, I was always in fear mode that I'd say the wrong thing, or have to generate a bit more "attraction, a little less this, a little more that. It ruined my game, until I canned that shit and went "see what sticks" mode.

I have my own version of almost everything you teach on this website and I'm very impressed. You've got another reader :)

Kind regards,
- HOP
http://houseofpheromones.com

M's picture

Hi,

Well let me start off by stating I am 41 and still a virgin. never had any luck ever getting any girls , no girlfriends, no wifes, never hired anyone etc.. I have been kissed by maybe a handful of women and it has been years. so I want to preface by saying this.

I met a girl on a social media site and this girl is absolutely hot as fcku. gorgeous in every way, fun, the type that can easily get any guy she wants any time with so much ease.
I et her one day for lunch, I texted back letting her know I enjoyed the time.
but something weird happened that never happened before. 2 days later she textd me just to say hi, many other times she texts me first and event o this date still happens sometimes.
She does seem to have an incredible amount of drama, or at least she thinks she does but likes to be nice and good to everone, and every time she made what felt like a lame excuse they always were true things no matter how ridiculous they seemed, so she never lied to me when being a total flake.
she also seems to completely misunderstand things I say every now and then. she took me off her social media site for over amonth, lied saying she shut it down but I know it was up. but she still kept in touch with me. I was worrid I was smothering her so I decided to not talk hardly at al and be cordial ni texts so not to have the only way to reach her and be blocked there too.
she later after a couple weeks told me how much she missed me.
before this. though she texted telling me about her bust area and said she needs a guy to help her pick out new upper body lingerie , you know what I mean. bra. I said I could do that and it excited her. said she needs a guy to go because they can help pick out what looks good on her.
but that is just efore the block on social media. I thought I would neve hear from her again, but even if she didn't want me, I still wanted to be friends because I still highly valued her as a person.
then recently she talked to me more and more, and one time asked me to pick up and bring breakfast, but I said I had to wait til lunch, only had an hour for work, but she said she was in bed, and instructed me to come to her bedroom and that I would have to eat sitting on her bed. and we did. she enjoyed my company.
then she called and invited me to do lunch a acouple 3 weeks ago wanted me to meet her. I didn't text first.
so then she was going to come see my house, and eat first , so the first night we ate, went to her place to watch a tv show we both ike, and were going to go after. but then she felt bad cramps in her stomach and was tired. she said she was going to go down stairs and take a quick shower and come back and we would go. but en she called saying to come down. she was seemingly quite tired, but since she let me in the bed before, I took my shoes off and laid down next to her. and always lightly touched her arm or hand here and there for 3 hours. she woke up here and there slept, woke up etc.. she never really asked me to leave but nor was she offering anything either. but I did get home. next day I asked if she was feeling better, she said no. I asked her if I could bring her anythinga fter work.she asked me to pick up some appetizers for us from a restaurant on the way. this time she was even more tired and went down stairs and the room was very dark, but she asked me to tuck her in. of coruse I could not see a thing at all, shined by phone light to see her, but the sheets / quilt were already totally wrapped around her so I don't know how you tuck oen in when it is all done. I kind of stayed a few minutes talked really sweet to her and then gave her a light kiss on ther forehead and said I will talk to you real soon.
the following day she was dealing with a friend that had something horrible happen and was highly emotional .
she even totally blew up at me accusing me of saying disrespecting things and berating me despite the fact I didn't hardly say anything and what I did say were things most people would take as being very nice to them, but then she acted that way with her own relative not too long after, and seven apologized a few minutes after she did this. but just before she said something like "I hope you never think I am using you because I never dothat" and I don't know why she would think that as I never told her I think anything but the best.
after all that she didn't want me to leave even though I had tobe up at 7am, I finally got to leave at 130am. but I stayed. she startd having music on and singing, sometims getting close (we were just in the nook/kitchen area) and she did 3 x get her face within inches of me but was moving enough where it was too hard to get a kiss in. she did put her feet o my knee and I started rubbing her feet a lot and her anglkes and bottom of the leg, I then veryl ightly with the back of my hand caressed her lower and upper legs and even put my hand on the shoulder a copule times. she seemed to like this stuff I think. she didn't back away or anything.
then we gave some very long huge hug/embraces and I pated her on the back and told her how bad I wanted to stay for her and if I didn't have to work I would have totally stayed over longer if It was Friday instead of Thursday. all 3 times I was so tempted to say "would you like me to stay here?" I should have but didn't
it appears she will hang out with me again sometime soon, don't know when but she keeps talking to me and wants to meet up. all 3 times I started of texting her through the day, getting her to really laugh a lot and then she seemed to give me these signs. Eachtime I start from scratch with that stuff.

now on the other hand, she also mentioned this guy that is her boyfriend of a few years, but saying it has been on and off the entire time. earlier one of the nights she saw some hot guy on tv, saying she would totally do him any time, I gave zero response. anyhow the ugy she has broken up with many times and sounds like she complains about him a lot because he has a sheculde already that he can't see her very much and a lot of times over these years when he does, he'll spend most of the time hanging out with other guys etc.. and she hates that. she also didn't like how he reacted tosome things she does that she likes doing. etc. she always sounds like she is ready to break up again but he has been very very nice to her the past week but we all know that he will revert back to the person she will break up with soon again. also she says she hasn't been with anyone else other than this guy and the guy is a high class athlete, so I am thinking maybe she likes the goods and that is the reason but she doesn't seem to feel reapected and appreciated enough. but always keeps going back when she got nothing else. perhaps she is testing me to be a replacemet. not sure. but she still totally complains about so many things like she wants to break up again soon. probably will.
one of my good friends that supposesly knows women very well keeps telling me next time she does any of these things I need to take action, or maybe even just tell her before it gets involved maybe I should reveal my viringity so she realizes I am not rejecteing her thinking I am gay or uniterested, just that I don't know how to close, but he said to be ready to answer questions she has about that which I have no issue with.
my question is, how do I read all this and what should I do?
one thing I have not done is depiste her complaints on the bf, I have not compared myself to him, nor said one thing about him one way or another, just casually say , ok.
I really ant this girl bad and if she likes me enough I am even willing to put up with the fact that I might have to be a shared person for a time, because I know how hard it will be to totally let go right away until she sees I am tne one she wants totally. but I could use any adive possible.
sincerely M

H-Town Legend's picture

Read this one over and over again. It's so important to make sure to realize when women are interested in you.

Best Regards, David.

Dave defusco's picture

Hi chase.I'd love your opinion on this.I work at a store and I was attracted to one girl from the get go.now her uncle came in the store every day cause he lived across the street and had nothing to do.we talked every day and I told him I wanted to ask out Stacey but he said she just broke up so I should wait a bit.well he got very sick and Stacey would tell me a lot how he was doing then he died.she left the store but I saw her once in a while and she always gave me a big hug and even told me she loved me,the second time she said I really love you.so I thought she might be interested so I asked her out,I asked for her number.this is where I'm confused.she gave me her number but said she did have bf and told me not to call right now cause she's moving and busy.also she told me one of the digits might be wrong.was she rejecting me in a nice way.thanks.

Rafal's picture

Man, what you said just has opened my mind, basically I needed to be told that to make my brain start to register things what I was always suspect of. So true, I can see now, how many times I fucked up because I didn't believe what I was seeing. I see now, that so many times I was wasting my time trying to do something with women who were completely no interested in me, and was ignoring the ones who were dtf but confused my by their mix signals, Thanks !!!

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