7 Tips for Toe-Curling Sex that Keeps Women Hooked

Science tells us 7 factors matter for how pleased a woman is with sex. Whether it’s your first time with her or your 1000th, you’ll want to use these 7.

I have a fun post for you today on how to please women so thoroughly you get them hooked on you.

We’ll talk about getting her hooked your first time in bed... as well as keeping her hooked for a long time thereafter.

These tips come from discussions I’ve had with fellow lovers of women the years (men with triple-digit notch counts and plenty of experience pleasing all kinds of women) mixed up together with the very best science out there on female sexual satisfaction.

We’re going to start with the science, then get to the how-to. Of course, if you just want the practical “how to” on how to please a woman, you can always skip to it right here (or use the table of contents on the left).

Either way, by the end of this article, we’ll get you hooking just about every girl you wrangle into bed. The women you sleep with, from here forward, will not be able to get enough of you.

On with the show.

Women will tell you different things please them.

When a woman wants to make you feel better about a less-than-stellar performance in bed, she may tell you she just likes to be close to you, and that’s really what counts.

Sometimes women will claim they don’t care about orgasms and that any sex is good, so long as it’s with a man they are connected and attracted to.

This belies the reality of female bedroom satisfaction, however. As any man who’s had a woman scream her lungs out in bed for him before knows, not all sex is equal.

What goes into the really great sex – the kind that sends her into a trance; that makes her turn to butter for you after (and for a few days after, when the sex is especially legendary)?

Not satisfied with the party line of “any sex is good so long as I like him”, scientists have ventured into the bedroom to figure out what it takes to really curl a woman’s toes. Before we get to specific bedroom tactics to use, first we’ll talk about what those scientists found, huddled next to the beds of lovemaking couples (or, more often, conducting other, somewhat less intrusive studies).

7 Factors of Female Sexual Satisfaction

In a 1993 scientific paper on female sexual satisfaction, researchers David Hulbert, Carol Apt, and Sarah Rabel note that

“women and men view sex and sexual satisfaction differently, and the process whereby females come to view their sex lives as satisfying or dissatisfying involves more interactional or relationship variables than does the similar process for males”

That is to say, for men, sex is much more about the sex act itself.

For women, the interaction of the sex (plus the relationship with the man giving them sex) play much larger roles in sexual satisfaction than these elements do for men.

It’s about much more than which body part licks, sticks, or rubs which other body part for women. The experience counts as much as the mechanics of the sex.

To find out what contributed to women’s sexual satisfaction, the researchers asked 98 women in non-distressed (i.e., not rocky) marriages, between ages 24 to 31, to maintain a ‘sex diary’ for three weeks. In this diary, they were to write down what sex acts they performed, when and how often they performed them, and what the results were, plus how they felt.

At the end of this period, drawing on previous research and analyzing the results of the diaries they collected, Hulbert, Carol, and Apt identified seven (7) distinct factors that impact women’s sexual satisfaction:

1. Closeness. How emotionally close does she feel to her man? The greater the closeness, the more satisfying the sex. Closeness comes from doing more things, more often, and with bigger emotional impact with her man.

2. Sexual assertiveness. The more she asks for what she wants sexually, the happier she is with the sex she gets. Makes sense, right? If she never asks for what she wants, she isn’t likely to get what she wants.

3. Erotophilia. This is scientist-ese for “girl who likes sex.” Its opposite is ‘erotophobia’ (girl who is afraid of sex). Other research has found women with ‘immature defenses’ (i.e., they’re not able to let go and enjoy sex) have trouble achieving vaginal orgasm. All this means is if she likes sex and isn’t afraid of it, she will have a much more satisfying experience with it, too.

4. Sexual excitability. The researchers assessed this by asking women to rate as true or false statements like “I quickly become sexually excited during foreplay”, “Kissing is sexually arousing for me”, and “I find sex with my partner to be exciting”, as well as statements like “Sex is boring”, “During sex, I seem to lose my initial level of sexual excitement”, and “When it comes to sex, it seems to take me a long time to get sexually aroused.” The more sexually excitable she is, the more she enjoys the sex she has. The less sexually excitable she is, the less sex satisfies her.

5. Sexual desire. Hulbert, Apt, and Rabel asked women to rate in their diaries each sexual activity they engaged in on a scale of 1 (extremely low desire to do this activity) to 10 (extremely high desire to do this activity). Then they found the mean of all the ratings each women jotted down in her diary. The result was that women who reported more desire on average for each of the sex acts they performed were (as you might expect) more satisfied with their sex lives, too.

6. Frequency of sexual activity. A raw score of how often a woman has sex. The more she does it, the more satisfied she is. The caveat here: as we’ve noted before on Girls Chase, there is also research that finds personal well being gains the more often you have sex, up to once a week; once you get more frequent than once per week, there are no further gains. It’s unclear if this extends to overall sexual satisfaction though; at least as far as Hulbert, Apt, and Rabel’s study is concerned, the more sex she has, the merrier she’ll be.

7. More orgasms. The more she cums, the happier she is with the sex (so much for all that “I don’t need orgasms” talk, eh?). There is a caveat here, though: the raw number of orgasms does not predict a woman’s sexual satisfaction; only the consistency of her orgasms does. That is, if she has sex with you four times, and has eight orgasms during one of those sessions but none the other three, she will not be as satisfied as the woman who has sex with you four times and has one orgasm each during three of those sessions, and only has one session in which she doesn’t cum. It’s about achieving a higher percentage of sex sessions that end with orgasms.
   

There’s more great research on orgasms that will take our understanding of the female climax even deeper, and we’ll talk about that in the next section.

But for now, mind these seven (7) tips, drawn from the seven factors above:

1. Make her feel closer to you
2. Get her to be more sexually assertive with you
3. Help her to enjoy sex more
4. Make her more excited about sex
5. Raise her desire to have sex
   
6. Have more sex
7. Give her more orgasms
   

We’ll circle back to these when we reach the section on how to please a girl in bed.

Before we do though, let’s talk a little more about orgasms.

She’ll be Cumming ‘Round the Mountain

Not all orgasms are the same.

While many women will tell you cunnilingus is their favorite sex act, this is almost certainly so because it is the most consistently satisfying sex act women enjoy. The level of satisfaction with penis-in-vagina sex is a bit lower in the ‘female sexual satisfaction’ study as it is for cunnilingus... while 68.4% of women rated coital sex as ‘very satisfying’ (another 19.4% rated it as ‘satisfying’), a full 82.6% of women in the study rated cunnilingus as ‘very satisfying’.

Here’s the complete breakdown of women’s satisfaction with the various sex acts they experienced, in infographic form (click on the image below to open the full size in a new tab):

The only sex act women do not, on the whole, find satisfying is when they give you a blow job and you finish in their mouths. And blow jobs where you finish in their mouths are the only sex act where not a single woman reported being ‘very satisfied’ after.

Most women are at least somewhat satisfied (and a full 29% range from ‘satisfied’ to ‘very satisfied’) when they perform fellatio on you but you don’t cum. Why is there such a big difference between blow jobs where you ejaculate, and blow jobs where you don’t?

It isn’t that women don’t like semen in their mouths (some don’t, but this is not the primary issue).

We’ll come back to women’s satisfaction problem with ejaculatory blow jobs in the next section, our bit on “how to.”

Before we do, let’s have a look at a little more science.

This time, we’ll look at the science of orgasm.

First off, the female vaginal/coital orgasm. Is it a myth? Or can only some women climax vaginally?

If you’ve been a reader of Girls Chase for some time, you know the answer to this already (hopefully firsthand). But in case you’re just tuning in, let’s cover the studies on it. Some findings from the research on penis-in-vagina orgasm:

• A 2012 study established that orgasm can and does indeed occur in the vagina, additional to and separate from the clitoris (not everyone knows this; some people still think women only climax via clitoral stimulation. Though you’ve sort of got to feel bad for those people – or those people’s girlfriends/lovers/wives, if those people are male)
  

• The only predictor of a woman’s having experienced penis-in-vagina orgasms in her lifetime is her level of use of ‘immature psychological defense mechanisms’ (Brody, Houde, & Hess, 2010). An ‘immature defense’ is an unconscious way to distract yourself from things that make you nervous (like sex)
  

• Immature defenses did not predict a woman’s ability to orgasm from anything else in the 2010 study; such defenses only reduce a woman’s ability to achieve penis-in-vagina orgasm
  

• Women achieve coital orgasms more when a.) they were told when young that the vagina is the important zone for female orgasm, b.) they focus well mentally on vaginal sensations during sex, and c.) their penis-in-vagina intercourse lasts longer (Brody & Weiss, 2011)

• Women can activate the genital sex complex in their brains via nipple stimulation (research link), and breast stimulation is equal to or almost as powerful a way to release oxytocin (the trust and bonding hormone) as vaginal stimulation is (research link)
  

• How often a woman has penis-in-vagina intercourse with a partner impacts six of the most important relationship dimensions (including satisfaction, intimacy, passion, and love); and the more often she experiences orgasm from penis-in-vagina sex, the stronger the boost to these. No other sex act improves these qualities in a romantic relationship (not oral, anal, or manual stimulation); only penis-in-vagina sex and orgasms produce measurable gains (Klapilová, Brody, Krejčová, Husárová, & Binter, 2015)

• Sexual frequency leads to greater well being; if a woman has sex less than once a week, her well being declines. 2017 research discovered the well being boost from sex can be completely attributed to physical contact. If partners share the same level of physical contact with each other even without sex, their well being goes up exactly the same

So, if we sum all that up, here’re the standout parts about what science has to say about her pleasure:

• Women can have all sorts of orgasms (clitoral, vaginal, anal... even breast/nipple orgasms)

• Women with psychological defenses against sex/orgasm have difficulty achieving vaginal orgasm

• Penis-in-vagina intercourse/orgasm boost a whole suite of women’s feelings toward a partner

• Physical contact is the most important part of sex for a woman’s well being

A few interesting statistics from Brody, House, & Hess on how often 22-year-old women engage in different sex acts and how much they orgasm from these acts:

Interesting how often the average woman orgasms from sex, isn’t it? 72% of the time from oral sex, 61% of the time from vaginal sex, and 53% of the time from anal sex. Higher than you might’ve thought.

Of course, it varies from woman to woman; some women almost always orgasm from all kinds of things, and some women never orgasm from anything other than licking or fingering. Immature defenses tend to be the reason.

Regardless where she’s starting out, in the next section, we’ll cover the ways to tap into all the neat things we just covered about female orgasm and sexual satisfaction... and leave the girls you sleep with wowed, exhausted, and completely and utterly hooked.

Now that we’ve covered the background, let’s talk practical application.

We’ve talked about many of the mechanics of great sex on Girls Chase before. If you’re new here or need a refresher, I strongly suggest you check out these articles:

• Make Her Orgasm Hard from Sex in 8 Minutes or Less. Read this article for the easiest and most effective position I know of to get women off and cumming

• 3 Steps to Help Her to Orgasm from Sex. If you have a sexually inexperienced girlfriend, or one still dealing with immature defenses, these are the steps to get her past them (and climaxing)

• How to Be a Good Lover (and Give a Girl Orgasms). Good sex is about more than just the main sex act. The buildup to it is just as important – often (for women) more so

Plus the articles on:

• Giving her orgasmic oral sex (and here’s a guide from an ex-porn star)
• Giving her orgasmic anal sex
• Giving her dirty sex (also, Hector’s series on dirty sex... *not for the faint of heart)
  

I’m not going to spend much time covering old ground in this article. Instead, we’ll briefly review a few bits and pieces here... but mostly we’ll focus on one specific angle: how to please a woman so well she’s hooked. Smitten. Can’t stop thinking about you (and your rod).

You old cads out there who’ve been on the woman circuit for years will know many of these tricks. But you still may learn a thing or two, I hope.

For all guys still finding their ways with women though, buckle up, and let’s go.

First Time in Bed Together

The first time you’re in bed with her is the most crucial. It’s when she discovers she made the right move... or decides whoops, she picked the wrong guy.

The good news is, you don’t have to be Mr. Studly to get her hooked. In fact, a lot of what men get it into their heads they have to do the first time in bed to get a woman to come back for more (more cumming, that is) is unnecessary... or even counterproductive.

Instead, the stuff that will pleasure her socks off and make her crave you is all easy to do, and feels as great for you as it does for her.

First, a few things not to do your first time together if you want her hooked:

• Don’t do super long sex sessions. Unless she is really into it. So long as she’s horny and excited, it’s fine. But generally speaking, you should not be going 45 minutes per bout your first time in bed with her. She’s excited, you’re excited, it’s going to happen faster. Don’t draw it out unnecessarily (if you have difficulty cumming your first time with a girl, we’ll talk about below). Many guys worry about the sex being too short, when too long a session is just as big a problem. If it starts to drag on and feel like a chore for her, the mood erodes.

• Don’t switch positions 15 times. One or two position changes? No problem. 6 position changes? 10? 15? It starts to feel like you’re bored. Again, first time together. You’re supposed to be so excited for her you can barely contain your desire to get off in her. Not “For Switch #8, let’s do the one-legged ducking swan position.”

• Don’t get her dirty talking. Dirty talk is wonderful for girls you’re already seeing. The first time in bed though, it’s mood disrupting. She’s trying to immerse herself in an experience with a new man. If you ask her to think about what she should say to him and how to say the right thing and not the wrong thing, that’s not where you want her head to be at, at least not during Sex Session #1.

• Don’t get kinky. Unless you have discussed your kinks already and she is specifically hooking up with you to enjoy them, that is. Kink is also okay if you’re certain this is just a one-night stand. The problem with kink (BDSM, fetishes, anal) your first time in bed, though, is it is, again, disrupting. It pulls her out of the moment, makes her think about it, decide if this is normal, decide if tonight is really about the connection between you and her, or is more about you finding someone to enjoy your kink with, etc. Save your kink for after she’s become a regular partner of yours. As funny as it is to joke about being an anal predator, you don’t want her to actually see you that way your first time in bed.

• Don’t make her #1. This is mostly for the guys who struggle with staying hard their first times with a woman. The object is not to disregard her pleasure, but to make it subservient to yours. She’s #2, you’re #1. Use her to please yourself in ways she will also enjoy.

• Don’t cum in her mouth. No matter how much you like blow jobs, if you cum in a girl’s mouth the first time you sleep with her, the odds you ever see her again fall by a lot. I can’t tell you how many guys I’ve seen over the years say “I ate her out, then she blew me and I finished” followed by, the next time around “I saw her again but wasn’t even able to get her pants off!” then followed by the guy is never able to have sex with her. The reason women don’t like guys finishing in their mouths is because they get turned on while sucking you off... but then, usually, once you’ve cum that’s the end of it. She’s horny and wants more, but you’re done. Not to mention the fact that if you cum in her mouth, you won’t get to sex, and that ‘level’ stays ‘locked’. You’ll have to escalate all the way back up to it again the next time you want to take a shot with her, and she may not be nearly as horny. Save blow jobs where you finish for after she’s already converted to a regular partner of yours.
  

Remember, sex for women is all about the experience. It is about more than just the physical act. It is about What is this guy thinking? as he performs the act.

Anything that will lead her to think “He’s bored” or “He isn’t that attracted to me” or “He must do this with every girl” or “He was just looking for someone to enjoy his kink with” will break her out of the mood and kill her pleasure. You want her to (from those seven factors we covered before) feel close to you, which precludes things that reduce closeness.

Stay away from anything that might reduce closeness with her your first few times in bed.

Now that we’ve got the ‘what not to dos’ out of the way, let’s talk about what you can do to make that first experience in bed with you a toe-curling one.

1. Maximize skin contact. One of the reasons adapted missionary (the position I introduced you to in this article) is such an effective pleasure maker is because it maximizes the contact of your naked body with hers. You want as much skin-to-skin contact as you can get during first sex.

   This is one of my little secrets to devotion-building that first time. Just touch her as much as possible, with as much of you as possible. During sex? Get her entire body pulled up against yours, or yours draped over hers. After sex? Hold her in the spoon position or lie her on top of you. Run your hands on her before, during, and after sex. Put your mouth all over her. The more contact more of you has with her, the better.
   

   You recall that study about physical contact being the mood enhancer. Skin-to-skin massage releases oxytocin, the trust and bonding hormone. The more contact you have with her, the more she bonds to you; the more she immerses herself in the experience; and the more hooked on you (and all the trust, connection, and pleasure you provide) she becomes.

2. Medium-length sex sessions. You don’t want two-minute sex sessions, of course. But you shouldn’t be going for 45-minute marathon rounds your first time in the sack either. Aim for sex rounds that last somewhere between 7 and 15 minutes. If she orgasms sooner, you can finish sooner; the best sex is sex where you cum at the same time.

3. Bread and butter positions. Your first time in bed with a girl is not the time to test new and funky positions. It’s the time to use your old, reliable ones. Don’t worry about whether she will think it is ‘boring’. Yes, it is interesting if you do something no man’s ever done to her before... but an ‘interesting’ sexual experience is not the same as an ‘addictive’ sexual experience. Most new positions you try will not be sexually satisfying for her; many of the more creative positions are difficult to get women off in (or give them much pleasure in), and in any event when it’s new for you you won’t have worked out all the kinks yet. Use stuff you know how to please a woman with, and stick with it. The goal of first sex isn’t to give her the Greatest Show on Earth; it’s to give her one that just feels good.

4. Multiple rounds. Fairly key for your first time together is to go multiple rounds. These don’t have to be in quick succession. Sometimes you will get girls you have a remarkable sexual connection with, and you’re hard for them 15 minutes after you last finished... and you go round after round after round with them. Most of the time though you’ll have a longer refractory period. When this is the case, it’s fine to have sex, then go have a meal or a snack, then an hour or two later undress her and go at it again. Or go to bed, and when you wake up with an erection in the middle of the night, wake her up too and go another round.
   

   Whenever you have girls sleep over, if you want to see them again, go for morning sex. Morning sex is the icing on the sexual experience cake, and it reassures her that “Yes, I am definitely into this guy.” If she woke up wondering “What was last night? Was that a fluke? Am I really all that into him?”, only to have sex with you again in the morning, she has her answer: last night was no fluke. She digs you.

5. Bareback ejaculation. Here’s the deal. The responsible thing is to always use protection with new partners; it protects you from STDs, prevents you spreading any you may have (or not know you have), and guards you against unwanted pregnancies. Nevertheless, there is something magical about ejaculating directly into a woman. It is, after all, what you and her evolved to do; you to ejaculate in her, her to receive your ejaculate.
   

   One friend of mine believes semen contains a chemical that causes in-love feelings in women. I tend to think it’s more a psychological effect that comes from the difference in how you behave when shagging and cumming raw, and how she feels about it when you do. Regardless the cause, my more prolific friends and I have all noticed this same, singular trend: women fall for you fast when you shag them raw and cum in them.
   

   This isn’t a recommendation, and you use it at your own risk. You open yourself up (more) to disease and pregnancy going bareback. But I’d be remiss to not include it here, simply for how clear the trend has been to both myself and my friends. For whatever reason, psychological or otherwise (and I have a bunch of reasons I think play into the psychology of it), when you shag raw and cum in her, the odds she falls for you go up a significant amount.

The more of these points you include in your first time together in bed, the more likely she is to end up hooked on you. Falling in love activates the same motivation centers in the brain other addictions (gambling, narcotics, food) make use of.

Don’t give her a strenuous first experience, or a creative first experience, or a surprising first experience.

Instead, just give her a delightful first experience. That’s all it takes.

Sex in Ongoing Relationships

Sex with a woman you’re already together with is a little different from sex with a girl for the first time. You can be more creative, try different positions, different sex acts, the works.

Note that until she is converted – that is, where she slips out of “Okay, I’ve slept with this guy, but do I actually want to see him again?” mode, and into “This is the guy I am sleeping with” mode – you should continue to treat each sex session as for all intents and purposes another ‘first time sex’.

If you’re unfamiliar with conversion, make sure you’ve read about that here:

• How to Convert One-Time Sex into Regular Sex
  

We’ll focus exclusively on women you’ve already converted in this section: friends with benefits, girlfriends, wives, you name it. If the relationship is ongoing, this is the section for that.

All the rules from above we can throw out some of the time. But you should not disregard them all the time.

Instead, in an ongoing sexual relationship, you can add variety by breaking some of the above rules. Yet you do not want to always break them.

Let me give you a few examples:

• Super long sex sessions. Usually you won’t want marathon sessions. But it’s nice to mix things up and go long some of the time, too. You will also generally want to go longer during a normal session in an established relationship than you will during first sex, unless you do a lot of foreplay. Most women are very aroused the first few times they have sex with a man; no matter how sexy you are, they aren’t going to have the same level of arousal in a regular relationship with you (usually; exceptions made for very inexperienced girls, who tend to warm up as you go), and you’ll want to allow more time for them to climax.

• Position switching. Usually you won’t want to switch positions a dozen times. A few position changes are okay. But if you go from missionary, to legs-over-shoulders, to rear entry, to standing, to reverse cowgirl, to putting her butt on your desk or kitchen counter, it’ll usually be too much. Sometimes, however, it can be exciting and memorable, as you explore a variety of ways to enjoy her in succession. You just don’t want to do this all the time, lest she think you’re bored with her and trying to keep yourself interested. Occasions of this are fun for her though.

• Dirty talk. Dirty talk is great to use and will enhance both your and her enjoyment of sex (once she’s comfortable with you and the relationship is established). I generally suggest you only use it a bit, lest you wear it out. There are only so many times you can tell her “The train’s pulling into the station” before she starts to think You said that the last 31 times too. Use it as a spice, sprinkled in here and there, rather than a main course, and you won’t go wrong.

A little dirty talk once she knows you better can be great fun.

• Kink. Like the others that are ‘don’ts’ for most first-time sex, kink is something you’ll usually want to add in here and there to your sex sessions. It’s somewhat impractical to handcuff and whip her every time the two of you get horny. There are some exceptions, of course. Religious girls can want to preserve their hymens, yet still have sex; in these cases, anal sex will be the normal way you have sex with them, rather than it being an occasional thing. Many women really love oral (to give and/or receive), and oral sex may be a part of your standard buildup to sex with some partners... it may be the case that sex sessions that do not include oral are the rarities. Thus, frequency depends on the girl and the kink. Sometimes it’ll be a more regular thing, sometimes more occasional.
  

• Making her #1. Usually you should be #1, and her a close #2. Her pleasure is very important to you... just slightly less important than yours, is all. This is important not just for maintaining relationship control (if sex is always about you trying to please her over yourself, it becomes a way for her to increase your investment in the relationship relative to her own), but for pleasure, too. Women want to feel desired, and they want to submit, and the sex they enjoy most is the sex when a man they are attracted to uses them to please himself (in ways that also please them). On occasion, though, it can be a nice, refreshing change of pace to have a sex session where you make it all about her: you are going to do nothing but focus on her pleasure, your own pleasure be damned. Don’t do this too much... but every rare now and again, it’s surprising and different.

• Cumming in her mouth. Fine to do once you’re in an ongoing relationship, so long as it isn’t excessive (i.e., the only thing you do with her is have her blow you to orgasm). At least some of the time, I suggest you look for other ways to make it fun for her; have her masturbate herself as she performs fellatio on you, for instance. Or have her blow you to finish at the end of a sex session, after you’ve already made her orgasm a bunch from penis-in-vagina sex. It’ll help you get that satisfaction score up higher (though getting the odd blow job here and there where you just sit back and she does all the work is nice, too. Maybe think of it as cashing in some of those satisfaction chips).
  

• Skin contact. You still want maximal skin contact, most of the time. However, it can be exciting and fresh for you to ever so often give her sex with minimal contact, where you touch her as little as possible.
  

Likewise, you can use experimental positions, have very short sex sessions sometimes, have periods where you always use condoms or never ejaculate inside her (so that when you go back to bareback/ejaculation, it feels incredible for you both), and so on.

See how this works? All the stuff you should do during first sex... and all the stuff you shouldn’t do... well, most of the time, you should continue to do or not do that stuff, as with first sex.

But some of the time, you will want to do the opposite on one or more of those points.

Variety, as they say, is the spice of life.

In this case, it is the spice you use to keep her pleased in the bedroom, and hooked firmly on you and all the sensual delights you provide.

Mixing in the Seven Factors

I mentioned earlier we’d circle back to those seven tips we got from the research into sexual satisfaction.

The reason we can violate our ‘first sex’ rules a little bit with an ongoing sex partner is because she is closer to you. You can do more that violates the ‘closeness’ rule without her questioning whether the relationship really is that close... so long as you don’t do it too much, of course.

We won’t talk about some factors here, since we discussed them above or in other articles. Closeness we’ve already discussed. Orgasms we discussed in the articles I linked you to at the beginning of this section. Having sex more often is related in part to you and how often you see her / schedule things, but it’s also related to how well you please her; the more pleased she is with sex, in general, the more of it she will want to have (i.e., her desire for sex – another factor – goes up). That side of the ‘frequency’ equation, along with the desire factor, we’ve covered with this article.

What about the other three factors, sexual assertiveness, enjoyment of sex, and excitement for sex? We’ll talk about these now.

Sexual assertiveness is mostly a degree of two (2) factors:

1. How hooked on you she is
2. What precedent you’ve set with her

The more hooked on you she is (the more attracted to, enamored of, and devoted to you she is), the more she will want from you sexually, and the more inclined she’ll feel to pursue those wants.

The precedent you set is also crucial; a man who sets a precedent of rarely turning down his lover for sex and doing most of what she wants from him, and who encourages her to be open with him and tell him her desires, will have a very different relationship with that woman than a different man who dates her before or after, but who turns her down for sex more and reacts poorly when she tells him what she wants. You can encourage women to be more sexually assertive by teaching them they can get what they want from you by asking, and by being open to their requests (you don’t have to say yes to everything, mind you. Everyone has his limits).

Enjoyment of sex is partly you doing a good job (this article). However, another aspect of it is helping a woman let go of any immature defenses she retains. The best way to do this is to be sexually experimental with her, while being relaxed and non-judgmental. Try different positions, different sex acts, etc.; and, as you do, make sure she feels accepted and desired. For more on this, check out my “Help her Orgasm” article, plus Peter’s on sexual awakenings:

• 3 Steps to Help Her to Orgasm from Sex
• Sexual Awakening: How to Have Her Doing Almost Anything in Bed
  

Finally, excitement for sex. There are three elements that feed into her excitement for sex:

1. How flirtatious you are with her in general
2. Any seeding you’ve done about upcoming sex
3. Foreplay you do before the sex act itself
   

Flirtatiousness is, basically, do you flirt with your woman? Flirtation is the on-ramp to sex. Flirting with her gets her to think about sex with you, and makes her excited for it. You should not just flirt with girls you’d like to sleep with but haven’t yet; you should flirt with girls you are already together with, too. Use sexual innuendo, slap their butts, tease them, etc. It’s fun to flirt – and it primes her for sex.

Seeding is mentioning something you intend to do later. e.g., “I’m going to lick your clit until it can’t take any more tonight” or “After dinner I’m going to rip your clothes off, press you up against the wall, and split you right down the middle. Just a heads up.” Just tell her what you will do, then go back to whatever it is you’re doing with her now (walking down the sidewalk together, or cooking a meal, for instance). It’s in her head now, and she will think about it, again and again. Make sure you deliver on what you said you’d deliver on, if you want her to keep believing your seeds in the future.

And foreplay I won’t go into, since we discussed it in-depth in the articles linked to at the start of this section. Check those out to upgrade your foreplay abilities. You may also want to give this one a look too:

• Turn On Your Girlfriend with Raw Sexual Enthusiasm
  

We covered a lot of ground here, but I tried to keep the pace as brisk as possible (considering the breadth of the subject). That made this piece rather informationally dense.

So let’s recap this piece on how to please a woman so well she becomes a ‘you’ addict.

First, our seven tips from the research on sexual satisfaction to give women the most satisfying sexual experiences you can:

1. Make her feel closer to you
2. Get her to be more sexually assertive with you
3. Help her to enjoy sex more
4. Make her more excited about sex
5. Raise her desire to have sex
   
6. Have more sex
7. Give her more orgasms

Next, our primary takeaways from the science on pleasure:

• Women can have all sorts of orgasms (clitoral, vaginal, anal... even breast/nipple orgasms)

• Women with psychological defenses against it have difficulty achieving vaginal orgasm

• Penis-in-vagina intercourse and orgasm boost a whole suite of women’s feelings toward a partner

• Physical contact is the most important part of sex for a woman’s well being

When we got to the first time in bed, we covered six things not to do:

• Don’t do super long sex sessions
• Don’t switch positions 15 times
• Don’t get her dirty talking
• Don’t get kinky
• Don’t make her #1
• Don’t cum in her mouth
  

... plus five options on the table for you to get her completely hooked:

1. Maximize skin contact
2. Medium-length sex sessions
3. Bread and butter positions
4. Multiple rounds
5. Bareback ejaculation (*use caution, of course)
   

In the section on sex in ongoing relationships, we noted you can violate any of the guidelines (both the “don’t do”s and the “get her hooked”s) for addictive first-time sex... in small doses. A violation here, a rule break there. Just enough to mix things up and keep it interesting, without going so far as to break all the rules all the time and make sex less close, less pleasing, and less personal.

Hope you’ve enjoyed the piece, and I hope you’ve learned something useful.

And I hope the next woman who crosses your path and falls into your bed ends up extremely pleased she did so!

Yours,
Chase Amante