The Fuzzy World of Social Status | Girls Chase

The Fuzzy World of Social Status

Chase Amante

Hey! Chase Amante here.

You've read all the free articles I can offer you for this month.

If you'd like to read more, I've got to ask for your help keeping the lights on at Girls Chase.

Click a plan below to sign up now and get right back to reading. It's only 99¢ the first month.

Already a GirlsChase.com subscriber? Log in here.

Chase Amante's picture

fuzzy social status
Social status is ‘fuzzy’. That is, you often don’t know exactly where you rank compared to someone else. There are good reasons for this.

Social status is a very fuzzy thing.

On the one hand, you may have clear social status within a specific group. You may clearly be the alpha male of the group (Male #1), the beta male (Male #2), or the gamma male (Male #3), and enjoy the privileges of those high ranks: interested women, respect from men, pride and recognition. Or you may be in the middle. Or even the omega male of the group... The guy who makes up the opposite bookend of the group from the alpha male.

But now step away from the social group we just talked about, and join a different social group. And in this new group, you have no idea what your social status is. You clearly aren’t the alpha here, even if you were the alpha in the old group. But you clearly aren’t the omega, either, even if you were the omega in the old group.

Indeed, you may participate in 10 different social groups, and have different positions within the hierarchies of each one. Alpha in these two, beta in these three, gamma in that one. Maybe you’re the omega in one group – perhaps you just started tennis class, and everyone there is way better than you and knows each other well, and you can’t even hit the ball yet and feel like you do not belong.

Within a social group, the social status of the bookend individuals is clear. Everybody knows who the alpha is, and everybody knows who the omega is. Yet between these roles, it’s much less clear. Are you the beta (#2) male and your buddy is the gamma (#3) male? Or is it the other way around? He’s beta and you’re gamma?

We’re going to talk about these and other measures of the fuzziness of social status in this article.

So, if you’re ready for a little bit of a spun head, buckle in and let’s make you dizzy.

Comments

Alexander Abraham's picture

I do have a question about being the Sigma though. Just from reading this I can already tell that the Sigma role is what I would be most comfortable in and probably enjoy the most. But how do you be a great Sigma?

Like, how do you find Alpha's of other groups and be friends with them to temporarily join different groups from time to time?

Someguy's picture

I guess it is value and attainability again. You have to bring something of value and people have to get the impression that they can get that value without too much hassle.

Aditionally it might be helpful to have some kind of plausable reason, why you share the views of the group and are of fitting value, but still wont stay for long. This is propably the reason, why sigmas are not so common. Coming and going in one group will eventually raise questions about your trustworthyness and attainability. Joining new groups all the time gets ineficient after a while.

I guess Sigma is something you can be for a while, when you try to find out more about yourself and what the world has to offer. Then at some point it will make sense to develop more stable relationships.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Alexander-

In addition to the advice from Someguy... Being the sigma who's welcomed temporarily into a group is more or less all about offering social value that the individuals in the group (and the alpha in particular) value:

A great sigma is basically an unaffiliated alpha. He's a guy people will look at and say, "Here's a leader without a tribe." However, you embrace the loner role and make it obvious through your actions you aren't interested in being the group alpha. Be chill, be respectful of the alpha, don't try to tool him or her (unless you're trying to pick her up). Then peel off with the girl you want to talk to.

Don't try to monopolize the group's attention for too long; only as long as necessary to make your introduction + a decent first impression, and after that only when necessary to maintain your role in the group. In some cases, you won't have to talk to anyone again after you've made your impression. In other cases, you may need to interact with the group periodically. Depends on the group, the situation, and the environment - you'll have to feel it out and calibrate.

Chase

Lenz's picture

Great article as always Chase. I have several question about women:

First, what to do when a girl praises you? What action should I take so I don't look so agreeable but also cool like it's not a big deal and also looks like I often get it from other girls and that I can use it repeatedly.

I had read some of your article about how to touch a girl, but can you explain it more specifically about how to touch a girl without looks so needy (like often touch her on her hips, shoulder, or hand), but also I want to make her question my attraction to her (want to stay mysterious also without her go to auto-rejection). I read that women should comfortable to your touch before you can lead it to sex, but how frequently that I should touch her?

Forgive my bad language. Please help me Chase.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lenz-

When she praises you: "Thanks." Modest smile. It's really the best possible response. Joking isn't good because it minimizes your praised quality and can risk punishing good behavior. Dismissing it looks like false modesty. Self-deprecation can be okay at times, especially if it's a weird or unusual compliment ("You have amazing bangs" "Did you ever watch Full House? Remember DJ? That's basically what I was going for").

Touch... well, there's a limit to how instructive about touch you can realistically be over text. If I was in person I could just show you and you'd get it, but over the Internet it's tough to type out. I assume you've read these articles:

(if not - go read them! Good chance these answer many of your questions)

You need incidental touch and should use it liberally as you talk with girls. When you make points, as you ask for compliance, when you move her around, etc. Look for opportunities to put your hands on her. Don't look at your hand. Don't reach too far. Make it casual. Obviously you'll have to make sure you're positioned close to girls and inside the polite zone.

Each girl's a little bit different with touch. You'll have to gauge her response and calibrate. If she seems to get excited when you touch her, then get closer and touch her more. If she gets stiff or weird, back off a bit and use more incidental / light touch, building back up to where you were before when she acted weird. By the time you're taking her home you want her to be very comfortable with your touch... It'll be a lot less work for you to do later (and less potential awkwardness). Will also make it easier for you to be physically close with her, which you will need to be.

Chase

Someguy's picture

Hey,
this is very interesting. Just one idea to add: I think the reason why more then 50% of people believe they are above average is not because people have bad perception. It likely just is a result of everyone having slightly different preferences in his value-system.

Person A who values precision a lot, focuses on precision. Thus he becomes above average precision wise. Person B values quantity of results more thus he focuses on getting a lot done in short time. Person C goes the asymetrical returns route. He looses quite often, but overall comes out on top after a longer period of time.

All these people will legitemately be above average regarding their own values. And it is a good thing as it increases overall happiness and specialization.

Greetings

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Someguy-

That's an absolutely fantastic point. I hadn't considered that.

I tend to believe humans are much more rational decision makers than most psychologists give them credit for being... I like this thought from you. Feels right to me.

Just in terms of driving, off the top of my head, you have:

  • Drivers who think getting somewhere as fast as possible (without getting in accidents or breaking the law) is what makes for the best drivers

  • Drivers who think driving as carefully as possible (always use turn signals! Switch your high beams off when another car is coming at night. Mind the speed limit at all times) is what makes for the best drivers

  • Drivers who think knowing all the streets and roadways in town is what makes for the best drivers

Et cetera. There's also the "everyone who drivers slower than me is an idiot, and everyone who drives faster than me is a madman" effect going on with most drivers, too. People assume their approach to driving (or whatever the area we're talking about is) is the norm.

Same deal with socializing. People will specialize in certain types of social value, and rate themselves as superior in their favored kinds of value. The funny guy knows he's the funniest guy in the group, values humor, and so rates himself higher. The well-dressed guy knows he's the best dressed guy in the group, values fashion, and so rates himself higher. The guy with all the connections knows he has the best connections in the group, values connections, and so rates himself higher. And so on and so forth.

That's a wonderful way of looking at it. Great perspective, Someguy. Thank you for sharing.

Chase

Someguy's picture

Thank you for your answer. :-)

AlluringSpy's picture

Hey Chase,

Social status has always been something that made my head spin a little, thanks for clearing it up.
Now, about the minicourse that you're sendind out to our mails, I've only received until day 2, and have been waiting for a few days for the day 3 mail assuming that it was a problem at your end, since your website went down for a couple of hours last week. I'd like to know if you've been sending it to other people and it's a problem at my end, and if so what can I do to receive the lost mails, or if I should wait a few more days for day 3.
I'd hate to miss that awesome content.
Thanks.

Luc Cousineau's picture

Hey AlluringSpy,

I have the reverse problem, i didn't receive email 1 and 2. Probably a problem of whitelisting, should be resolved now. If you are willing to send me 1 and 2 i will send you email 3 and 4. Deal? griffon(at)colba.net

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Sorry about that, gents. Had some problems with deliverability on a few of those emails. I think we have that mostly fixed up now.

If you received the Day 7 email, I included links to all the Mini Course days there.

If you did not receive Day 7, please use the contact form and let Genaro know which days you're missing and he will link you to them.

Chase

Parliament's picture

Hi, I just wanted to correct your paragraph on the above average effect: "If you’re not good at math, 50% of drivers will always be above the average, and 50% of drivers will always be below it (that’s what makes it the ‘average’ – it’s right smack in the middle)". Actually, what you are talking about is the median, that property isn't true for the average.
For instance if four students get grades of 10, 5, 5 and 70 respectively, the average is (70+10+5+5)/3=30, and obviously three of them are below average. (See https://www.vocabulary.com/articles/chooseyourwords/mean-median-average/ ).
With that being said using the above average effect to explain why it is generally so easy to enter a new group is pretty smooth, and I want to thank you for your work: I have been a huge fan for years!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Parliament-

From a statistics standpoint, there are three 'averages':

  • Mean
  • Median
  • Mode

Most people mean 'mean' when they say 'average', so makes sense you would assume that was what I meant. I tend to just use the word 'average' for all three types of statistical averages (primarily since I'm assuming most readers aren't statisticians).

"The fuzzy world of Chase's 'average' semantics", I guess.

I did, of course, mean the median (particularly since social ranks are not quantifiable, and thus something you can average to find a mean of!). Apologies if my word choice disconcerted.

Chase

Soniclion's picture

If women are majoritary in the group, they can fulfill The alpha role too or this apply only to Men? Because I know a bunch of groups Who The most valuable and respected person is a girl. Also, what to do in these cases?
Thx

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Soniclion-

They certainly can. I even have a couple of articles on this:

Chase

Rick's picture

Very, very good.

Leave a Comment

One Date girl next to the number one

Get The Girl In Just One Date

It only takes one date to get the girl you want. Best of all, the date's easy to get… and girls love it.

Inside One Date, You'll Learn

  • How to build instant chemistry
  • Ways to easily create arousal
  • How to get girls to do what you want
  • The secret to a devoted girlfriend

…and more great Girls Chase Tech