Social Commentary | Girls Chase

Social Commentary

True Love Doesn’t Exist (Video)

This is my favorite video I’ve put out. It’s so beautifully empowering and inspirational if you can make it through. The journey of seduction and learning about women is, at its core, a journey of understanding what you can and cannot get from women. When you learn that romantic love, the everlasting kind that is perpetuated by not only our media and culture, but by our intrinsic desire to find lasting pleasure and lasting peace, is not real, your world will change.

Some might argue that romantic love is a new idea, and in some ways this is correct; most cultures up until a few hundred years ago saw sex and marriage as a transaction that kept resources flowing and bloodlines intact, but the game we play in public is very different from the game we play in our hearts and in our heads.
 
We have ALWAYS sought true love.

We are driven to find permanence, and the biggest trick we ever played on ourselves was convincing ourselves that we could find it in a romantic partner.

Not only is this a lie, it will SEVERELY hinder your romantic capabilities, both in casual and long-term relationships. You will be perpetually disappointed that a seduction or a relationship did not remain filled with bubbles and joy.

Watch the video and find out why true love is an illusion and why you should let it go.

Have Men Become Disposable in Dating?

disposable dating
Have social media and dating apps made modern dating disposable? Not quite – the problem goes back farther than them, to mid-20th Century “throw-away culture.”

Two months back, a reader asked the following question:

Hey Chase could you possible do an article discussing whether men are disposable due to online services like Tinder & Co.? I mean when a man doesn’t put out a good performance on date, a woman can just say “next!” and go on Tinder for more endless matches. I currently feel that way and I thought another perspective man bring some fresh air.

It’s a pertinent question... although not as new of one as apps like Tinder might suggest.

American society (dating apps like Tinder originate from America too) has been accused as far back as 1955 as being a ‘throwaway society’. We have articles on the American habit of throwing away too much; articles that accuse corporations of being at least partly to blame, building things not to last or to become obsolete so consumers pay to upgrade to more recent versions. Other discussions focus on the abundance of material goods in our society, which by extension causes us to devalue those same goods.

This isn’t limited only to the economy and material wealth, either.

There are articles all over the Internet about disposable dating culture. Here’s an article that talks about disposable dating in New York and San Francisco. Here’s a blog post from a woman who talks about ‘recycling’ all the men she’s dated back into the dating pool. Here’s a more general one that discusses how to know if you’ve been in a ‘disposable relationship’.

You could make an argument that some portion of Girls Chase philosophy treats dating relationships like disposable goods. The recommendation to replace rather than chase assumes romantic partners are substitutable goods, and you can ditch one and get another one. The basis behind the advice in articles like “Can’t Stop Thinking About Her” and “Just Friends: A Man’s Worst Nightmare” is this too. I strongly recommend these articles and the perspectives in them, of course; they are necessary tools for navigating the romantic terrain in any developed, urbanized society. However, they reflect upon the nature of dating in a society like that as well as they teach how to navigate it.

Dating apps (like Tinder, Bumble, and Bagel Meets Coffee) ultimately are just the latest iteration of this modern American approach to personal relationships.

But is our approach these days truly disposable? Is it so only with men, or with women too? And if dating has become disposable, how much of online dating and social media is the culprit?

Women Want Your Attention

women attention
Everybody likes attention. Yet with women, attention is more than a means to an end – getting your attention is very often the end itself.

Women will tell you they want a lot of things.

But there’s one thing women want from you above and beyond all else: your attention.

They can want this attention to take various forms.

Some women want you to be smitten with them.

Some women want you to chase after them.

Some women want you to feel like you could never have them (yet pine after them regardless).

Some women want you to court them, seduce them, and make love to them.

Some women just want you to think they’re amazing.

But the one thing all women have in common is they want you to notice them, look at them, and pay them attention.

As a man, this is important for you to understand. All the women around you fight for your attention. They do it in different ways. Some tempt you; some shame you; some scold you; some befriend you; some agree with you. All seek to have you notice them, listen to them, and invest your time and energy into them.

You must understand you can control which women receive your attention... and what they must give you in exchange for it.

But just because you can control this, doesn’t mean you will. Many women are far better at extracting attention from men without giving things men value in return for it than men are at getting what they want in return.

Resistance/Susceptibility to Influence

susceptibility to influence
Everyone out there is trying to influence you. How susceptible are you to that influence – and how susceptible are those around you?

I wanted to write a quick post (that turned out not to be so quick) on resistance and susceptibility to influence. This article is something of a cousin piece to my piece on grouping and herding in dating from last week.

The subject of this article - resistance and susceptibility to influence- goes for you and the people around you. Your friends, your family, your workmates, your lovers, partners, and dates.

Everyone is susceptible to the influence of other people and forces. The degree of susceptibility varies from person to person, and situation to situation. Some people are more easily influenced than others. Some situations make it easier to influence people than others. Most people are only marginally aware (at best) of their influencability.

If you are susceptible to influence but do not realize it, other people can step into your mind and make you think things and believe things you might not really want to think or believe. This can lead you to taking actions you might previously not have agreed with. Sometimes this turns out to be beneficial; sometimes not really.

For an example of the beneficial sort, I had a friend in university who influenced me to apply for an internship with Nike and pick up a minor in supply chain. Until this friend, I did not care about getting a job after school, was doing the minimum necessary to get through school, and disdained the idea of internships. Yet because of this friend, who'd had an impressive co-op run building a new supply chain process at Tyco, I grew excited about getting a good job and doing better in school. I didn't get the internship, but came in second in a pool of 200 candidates and got some very valuable feedback from the interviewer which played a key role in me getting the job I did get, a year later. I got more a lot more focused on school and got straight As again the next semester, for the first time in years. And I got my dream job on the first try - I zeroed in on them and the job fair and blew their socks off in my interview. Had that friend not influenced me, none of that would've happened.

Years later, I was in a startup where one of my business partners influenced me to open up the purse strings more than I thought was wise, against my instincts and all the reading I'd done on startups spending all their money too quick being one of the #1 reasons they go under. He influenced me to do a number of other things more in-tune with how he thought we should do things and less in tune with how I thought we should. We ran out of money and I had to close the business and lay everyone off. The partner who'd influenced me to spend more managed to negotiate the rights to the business away from myself and the other partner (despite having joined the startup much later, and having taken far more capital out of it than he'd put into it), then sold those rights to another group of founders. The business is now a successful venture-backed business doing everything I originally wanted to do, and would've had it do... had we not run out of funds so quick.

I don't regret the experience (I enjoy Girls Chase much more as a business; and I received a lifetime of invaluable lessons in negotiation, predatory partnerships, and sticking to your guns - plus a healthy dose of business confidence after I found I'd been right all along), but the outcome was a direct result of that business partner influencing me to act in ways contrary to how I'd have acted on my own.

Every human being is susceptible to the influence of other human beings. There are no exceptions to this. Locate the strongest, most resolute human being in the world, and I guarantee you we can find a way to make him crack with enough time, and the right people, in the right situation.

The question we want to look at today though is how susceptible vs. resistant are you and those around you?

The 3 Schools of Seduction (and the Differences Between Each)

seduction schools
The way men practice (and teach) seduction can be split into three (3) distinct camps: the trio of screening, natural, and control game.

When I first discovered the existence of the pickup community and had my eyes opened to the objective truth that getting good with women was a skill – a skill that can be learned, improved upon, and of course, mastered – I was ecstatic, but I quickly became overwhelmed.

You see, it was quite easy to get overwhelmed, because like every student of the game who discovers this community, I immediately came face to face with the overwhelming quantity of dating advice, dogmas, and methods that had been complied by so many seducers over the years.

And what made things particularly confusing back then was that a lot of the advice and manuals on how to get good with girls seemed to be at odds with material from other sources. It wasn’t uncommon for me to hear a group of seducers swear by one way of doing things (“always use the 3-second rule and strike up a conversation within three seconds of laying eyes on a girl”), then I’d find another group of seducers whose guidebooks sounded like they were in direct opposition to the ideas of the previous group (“scout your targets and position yourself well before you start a conversation”).

Luckily, as I spent more time in the community trying out different forms of advice, improving my own skills with women, as well as having enlightening conversations with several different seducers and partaking in a number of seduction road trips where I’d journey out of town to meet up with other seducers so I could observe and seduce women side by side with them, I was able to learn a thing or two.

One of the things I learned – the topic of today’s article – was that each and every one of the guides (or seduction manuals, if you will) can be grouped into 3 classes. Meaning that when you hear one seducer advise one thing, and another seducer advise something completely different, it does not necessarily mean that one is right and the other is wrong.

Instead, it most likely means that two groups of seducers who seem to be in disagreement with each other are in fact following separate seduction manuals – each of which are legit.

As you’ll find out later in this article, certain classes do have conflicting ideas concerning the best way to seduce women. However, this knowledge of the 3 classes really helps to clear up a lot of the confusion that might arise when everyone seems to be contradicting each other. It’s not a matter of which seducer is right or wrong, especially if both seducers are having success with women; rather, it’s which class each seducer is operating under.

What’s more is... once you are aware of these 3 rough categories, you can weigh their pros and cons, the goals of seducers whose methods fall under each category, and what your dating life could look like should you decide to follow the path outlined by each class – allowing you to move forward on your journey as a seducer with a lot more clarity.

Let’s have a look at the 3 classes.

Grouping and Group Herd Effects in Dating and Seduction

herd mentality
Despite our language and identities, people move in herds. You have three (3) tools to get the girl you want from her tribe: integration, separation, and absorption.

We think of ourselves as individuals. Separate, unique, we act entirely of our own volition.

Yet man is a herd animal. Cram him into a wall-to-wall, shoulder-to-shoulder crowded concert or train station, then spook the herd, and you kick off a stampede. People may die, crush others, or trample, as throngs of panicked individuals, each catching the sense of panic from the next, surge over and against each other for the exits. In the aftermath of some deadly stampedes, investigators can find no emergency and cannot even figure out what caused the panic.

Show a man a market craze that everyone is getting in on and watch him lose his mind. In China, peer-to-peer lending has exploded as the economy has declined, even though defaults on these loans are sky high and the prospect of getting a return is dim. A few months earlier in the West, a Bitcoin craze thundered across the market. It was unrelated to any improvement in the usability or acceptance of Bitcoin as a currency – in fact, over the past several years, Bitcoin has only grown worse as a currency. 100% of Bitcoin’s increased valuation was due to market speculators buying up Bitcoin to cash in on the craze. Yet during Bitcoin fever, everyone was an optimist, telling friends, family members, and coworkers to “buy, buy, buy!” Today, five months after the crush began, the price of Bitcoin has come very close to where it was before the stampede ever began; in the process, thousands of people made fortunes, and thousands of others lost them (I personally know a few folks on both sides). Every bit of those gains and losses came at the expense or benefit of someone else gambling the other way.

(side note: fun dub of a Russian music video a friend of mine who was heavily invested in Bitcoin shared with me during the peak of the Bitcoin craze):

These, of course, are extreme scenarios.

And much of the time, even for people aware of human herd mentality, the concept gets peacefully tucked away into a kind of “only in extremes” awareness. Only in extreme situations, we tell ourselves, do humans behave in mindless, herd-like ways. The rest of the time, we are those unique, separate, totally consciously in-control individuals we tell ourselves we truly are.

However, this isn’t how it works at all. Man, as a social animal, is every bit as groupish as ants, horses, biofilms, and wildebeest. More to the point for our purposes, if you want to peel a woman out of her group, or get her to do what you wish in public, an understanding of how grouping and herding works in the people you’d like to influence is key.

Is Being a Player a Betrayal to Your Culture?

is being a player wrong?
A lifestyle of hedonism, pleasure, and abundant bedmates is quite delightful. Yet if you are a playboy, have you betrayed your society to become one?

Society is changing.

Tectonic plates of social mores are rubbing together and creating earthquakes. The ensuing chaos can be seen all around the world, especially in the U.S.

On one side, we can break it down most simply by Liberalism vs. Conservatism. These are the eternal spectrums of any society. Right now, Liberalism is concerning itself with identity politics and claiming to align itself with two ethical principles – tolerance and compassion. These ethical principles naturally create support for causes like climate change activism, racial and sexual equality, and wide-open immigration policies. Whether this is wrong or right is not the focus of this article. I’m simply pointing out what is happening.

Conservatism is currently concerned with nationalist politics and aligning itself with two ethical principles – tradition and independence. The focus on tradition creates a “the law is right, no matter how you feel” framework, which then leads to a direct conflict with policies like open immigration. Independence-focused politics creates conflict with macro ideas like the EU, NAFTA, and the Paris Climate Agreement. With the victory of Donald Trump, an aftershock is now sweeping countries like Hungary and Poland (who were already quite conservative) and pushing their conservatism farther to the right.

Society is now swinging to the right, toward more conservative values. In fact, it has been for a long time. Liberalism has hit its peak and may decline soon, as its surge from the 1960s has begun to lose its momentum.

This is most evident in the arena of sexuality, which I believe (through observation) to be the control point of the rest of society. Everything seems to revolve around sex (at least that’s how I connect the dots).

And since society seems to be swinging to the right politically, that means some big changes are going to affect our attitude toward sexuality, which has both its pros and cons.

12 Ways to Spot a Transsexual (Signs She's a He)

spot a transsexual
Not every transsexual wants you to know all the details. To not get catfished, you need to know how to spot a transsexual – and steer clear of traps.

I just saw the David Cronenberg movie M. Butterfly, about a dude who seduces another dude who doesn’t know he’s a dude, and carries on an affair with him for 20 years and even convinces him they had a child together. All based on a true story (you can read about it on Wikipedia). What a weird movie that was (I’ve always loved both main actors, too – Jeremy Irons and John Lone. Terrific talents. Though this sure was a strange flick). Anyway, got me thinking about this topic.

A while back, I was out with a group of people in a new city. Our group consisted of five guys and four girls. Three of the girls were friends, but one was a little separate from the rest of the group. And this one... something about her triggered my “there’s something weird here” radar.

She was dressed in a sexy teal dress, and went around flirting with all the boys. She had an eye for me in particular. But to me, she looked like the women I’d seen in a cougar club in Del Mar; skin too-tight on the face (obvious sign of a face lift), lips full in an unnatural way (Botox?), dressed too flashy for an average girl. “She must be an older woman hunting for younger guys,” I thought.

At one point though, the guy I knew there leaned in and told me “She used to be a guy.”

Light bulbs went off. Ah... that’s what I was picking up on.

“Her last boyfriend didn’t find out until they’d been sleeping together for a month,” he said.

“Interesting,” I said. “How’d he react to that?”

“He was pretty upset,” my friend said.

This article is about how to not end up like that duped boyfriend, or some of the other men I’ve had transsexuals tell me about from their romantic histories (one, showing me a picture of a boyfriend, about said boyfriend: “He got used to it”). It’s about how to spot a transsexual – because not every transsexual wants you to know the truth.

Why Don't Girls Want Intelligent Guys? Part 2: Why Dumb Guys Get Laid

dumb guys get laid
Dumb guys didn’t spend their youth reading books or winning debates. Instead, they occupied themselves with reading people and winning babes.

Welcome to part 2 of this series. If you didn’t catch what I was getting at in the last article, I’ll put it simply.

Intelligent men have issues getting pussy. More specifically, by "intelligent men," I mean nerdy. They use big words, spend lots of time reading, aren’t good with people, and value their intelligence above everything else. That sort of guy.

How I used to be.

These men inevitably discover that it’s the moderately intelligent or even straight-up stupid men who get the most poonani.

Why?

How Women's Tastes in Men Change as They Age

women's tastes in men
As a woman ages, her tastes in men change. What does an under-21 girl prefer that women 32+ do not? Read on and find out.

As a man, your taste in women may or may not have changed as you’ve aged. I know a few guys whose tastes have changed over the years. Though I know many more guys whose tastes haven’t. I can tell you the only difference between the women I’m drawn to now and those I was drawn to 10 years ago is the girls I’m drawn to now are usually cuter. That is more simply a factor of having more choice with women now than I had when I was young, overweight, and romantically unskilled.

Women’s tastes in men, on the other hand, go through some major evolutions as they age. From between a girl’s late teens to her mid-30s, she shifts her tastes often dramatically.

Talk to most single women in their 30s about younger women and you’ll hear such women pan younger women’s standards in men. “Young women have the worst taste in men,” they’ll tell you. “The guys they go for are assholes with attitude. They have no taste.”

Male pundits normally regard this as a way for an older woman to make herself look more valuable in the dating market (i.e., she is more ‘refined’ than ignorant younger women) in order to make up for some of the lost value of her faded youth. And this “younger women are silly and foolish” frame does help older women do that. But there is a deeper reason so many single women in their 30s feel this way about those younger versions of themselves on the dating scene.

Before we talk about that though, we’ll talk about the different sorts of men women at different ages are most drawn toward. As always, game and fundamentals play a huge role here – the better yours are, the less you need to worry about fitting a certain template, and the better you’ll do even within that template.

Note that the age ranges we’ll discuss below are generalities. Some women may be more or less ‘mature’ than their ages (we’ll talk about that a bit below too). But in general, for the majority of women, you should find these age ranges fairly accurate.