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Social Commentary

How to Stop Being a Simp: 10 Steps

how to stop being a simpSomehow, despite the existence of this website, and the half million to million people who read it every month, there are apparently more men desperate for female approval than ever in recorded history.

There is an outright simp epidemic.

Is there anything sadder than a man who swallows his pride, pedestalizes the feminine, and launches limp-wristed attacks against his fellow man in a feeble attempt to curry favor with women?

Truly, there is no man more tragic than the simp.

First, here is the SIMP TEST. Watch this video, and pay careful attention to your emotions:

SIMPING IS KING SHIT CONFIRMED pic.twitter.com/B7kF1f6wfN

— Ching (@Hotline_Ching) March 10, 2020

Did you experience a sort of cognitive dissonance, and a kind of revulsion that says, "Though this woman is young and attractive, I find her oddly and off-puttingly moronic, and I also think she is lying?"

Congratulations, you are not a simp. The rest of this article does not apply to you.

However, you may want to read it anyway to make especially sure to inoculate yourself against the dangers of simp-dom.

On the other hand, if, when watching that video, did you not experience any cognitive dissonance, and instead experienced a swelling of pride? Did you feel something along the lines of, "This beautiful woman recognizes me for my superior quality?"

If so, I regret to inform you you are a carrier of SIMP.

But don't fear.

There is a cure.

If you follow my 10-step method, we can restore your testosterone levels to normal, train you to prefer manly domination over effeminate obeisance, and make you a man women actually respect and desire to sleep with (perhaps even chase), rather than one they manipulate then giggle about as he conducts himself in embarrassing fashion on their behalfs.

How to Manage Your Friends as You Learn Seduction, Pt. 4: Dead Weight

manage friends while learning seduction
When you improve your game with women and life, some friends you keep, others you outgrow. It can be painful leaving friends in the dust, but it’s for the best.

Welcome to Part 4 of my series on how to manage your male friends as you improve your game and see more success with women!

In Part 1, we covered how the dumb and clueless man can adversely affect your seductions and your relationships. Often these guys are good friends with good intentions but make one or more dumb public mistakes around a girl you’re courting or dating that affects her view of you, and you’re left picking up the pieces and dealing with the fallout. These guys also see your girl skills as more advanced and easier than you make it out to be. They think their mistakes are minor and easy to recover from when they can severely jeopardize your frame with a woman.

In Part 2, we looked at how shady guys befriend you to use your talents with women for their own gain. These guys may befriend you with good intentions but then try to steal away the women you’re seducing. These guys usually aren’t good at approaching (but they're decent with closing), so I’ve noticed they try to steal sets that you’ve already approached, opened, and built good vibes with. A state transfer occurs, and they try to lead her to sex after you’ve done the hardest work.

In Part 3, we discussed how judgmental friends fundamentally and morally disagree with your decision to get better with women or pursue your goals with women, and shame you behind your back to the rest of your social circle when you go against their beliefs.

All are ultimately toxic friendships that hurt you more than help you stay in them.

Finally, there’s the fourth type of friend you’ll run into. This friend tends to exist more for newbies just breaking into the world of women. I’ve found experienced and intermediate men naturally stay away from these guys because they fully understand how damaging they can be to their game.

This final type is what I call “dead weight guys.” Unfortunately, they hang around as friends and also want to go out with you to pick up women but provide little to no value or effort to help, and thus hold you back.

6 Signs You're a Player (Plus 3 Signs You're Not)

what is a player
What is a player? And more importantly, are YOU a player? Will being labeled a player have a bad impact on your dating life, or can the label actually help you?

What is a player?

Many years ago, when I was still a sniveling newbie in the dating scene, I was friends with an amazingly talented seductionist. I’ll call him Chris.

I went to a party with Chris, and a girl I recognized from work looked at me sideways and asked how I knew him. I didn’t tell her we were part of a secret society of pickup artists that met in a rented room we called a “lair” every Sunday and were out that night to practice our approach techniques.

“He’s a friend of a friend,” I replied.

“Well…” she shriveled her nose, “he’s a notorious player.”

I went back to Chris and told him he had the reputation of being a player. “Really? That’s good,” he replied, obviously pleased with the label.

Why would a seducer be pleased about being called a player?

How to Manage Your Friends as You Learn Seduction, Pt. 3: Judgmental Men

manage friends while learning seduction
Sexually ignorant and traditional men tend to judge the sexually liberated. How do you deal with these “white knights”? The same way women do: keep them in the dark.

Welcome to Part 3 of my series on how to manage your male friends as you get better and have more success with women!

In Part 1, we covered how the dumb and clueless man can adversely affect your seductions and your relationships. Most often, these guys are your good friends, and they have good intentions, but they make one or more dumb mistakes around the girls you’re courting or dating that affect her view of you, and you’re left picking up the pieces and dealing with the fallout. These guys see your girl skills as more advanced and easier than they truly are. They think their mistakes are minor and that you’ll quickly recover from them, but often they jeopardize your frame with a woman.

In Part 2, we covered how shady guys befriend you to use your talents with women for their own gain. These guys befriend you under good intentions, then try to steal women away from you. Most times, they simply aren’t good at approaching, so I’ve noticed these guys try to steal sets you’ve already approached, opened, and built good vibes with. A state transfer occurs, and they try to lead her to sex after you’ve already done the hard work.

Now in Part 3, we’ll go over one of the deadliest types of friends to have when you want to get better with women: your judgmental friends.

The Seduction Liminoid: How to Create a Sexual Tension Bubble

liminoid bubble of sexual tension
How do you build a sexual tension bubble with a girl, where you can make your own rules and foster sexual freedom? By harnessing the seductive power of the liminoid.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Last week we discussed the concept of liminality and how it applies to pickup and seduction.

In broad terms, the concept of liminality describes the transitional phase within a society. It's when the status quo is deconstructed, and the new has not yet been institutionalized. This is the phase betwixt and between in the lifespan of society and culture. But this concept can also be applied to humans. We can see liminality as a rite of passage, for instance, during the time from childhood to adulthood.

But the theory doesn't stop there. We've discussed how liminality could apply to seduction, and more interestingly, how it could help us make better sense of certain seduction concepts, namely:

We looked at how seduction is about leaving a girl in a liminal phase (state of limbo) when she is curious about you and your interest level or intentions. Since liminality is the phase betwixt and between, leaving her in a phase when something is happening — but not certain or well-defined — keeps the intrigue and mystery going.

We also saw how seduction ends when this phase ends, as you move away from the liminal phase. We also discussed how keeping her in a liminal phase can keep your relationship going in the long-term.

Another key aspect relates to how a liminal phase is liberating. Since it is betwixt and between, social rules are somewhat broken. Something may be real, while at the same time not “official,” or unknown to the social world.

According to the great anthropologist Victor Turner:

They are dead to the social world, but alive to the asocial world. Many societies make a dichotomy, explicit or implicit, between sacred and profane, cosmos and chaos, order and disorder. In liminality, profane social relations may be discontinued, former rights and obligations are suspended, the social order may seem to have been turned upside down. (Turner, V., Liminal to Liminoid, p. 59)

Today we will discuss the other part of his essay, the liminoid, and how that applies to pickup and seduction.

How to Manage Your Friends as You Learn Seduction, Pt. 2: Shady Men

manage friends while learning seduction
You’ve approached a hot girl and the seduction is going well, then some “friend” of yours swoops in and steals her. Here’s what to watch out for to avoid babe theft.

Welcome back to my series about how to manage your circle of friends as you get better with women! It’s one of the most aggravating problems men face as they increase their skillset and get with more higher-quality women. They eventually realize they’ll need to upgrade their group of male friends to follow their progress.

In Part 1, we talked about how many men are unfortunately clueless or dumb when it comes to women. Their lack of knowledge can make things awkward if you’re trying to do something with your girl, like maintaining a solid frame. With clueless and dumb friends, one split second mistake can affect you and your woman for months. The clueless friend will either downplay their actions or can’t fathom why their actions could have a serious impact. After all, they are typically hanging out with friends for the good times and will do nothing to impact their stake in the game.

Today we cover a more serious type of male friend: the conniving and shady friend, who uses you as a crutch to get the woman you are gaming. Shady friends often use the powerful tool of state transference to take a girl you approached, gamed, or even slept with and dated to twist the situation and get her for himself. As you can imagine, things can get ugly.

Liminality and Seduction: Inside the Bubble of Sexual Tension

liminality bubble of seduction
Have you ever been in a sexual bubble with someone, seemingly separated from the outside world and free to make your own rules? Liminal space is the seducer’s Shangri-La.

Today I will share a bit of an abstract concept. It’s inspired me often in my analysis and overall understanding of pickup and seduction. Hopefully the reason why will become clear by the second half of this post, where I’ll show an applied example.

This concept is called “liminality” and comes from social theory, or more precisely from anthropology. It’s also used in psychology and sociology, as well as social philosophy.

Anthropologist Arnold van Gennep coined liminality, but anthropologist Victor Turner perfected it. Turner has written multiple texts on the subject, but I would consider his "Liminal to Liminoid, in Play, Flow, and Ritual: An Essay in Comparative Symbology" to be the flagship study.

I will not go into great detail about the theory for the sake of keeping this article concise and on point, but in my academic career, I‘ve been often inspired by Turner's concept of liminoid spaces (see my post on the secret society).

How to Manage Your Friends as You Learn Seduction, Pt. 1: Clueless Men

manage friends while learning seduction
Your buddies have your best interests at heart, but they can inadvertently sabotage your efforts with women if they’re clueless about pickup and seduction.

Your male friends can have an impact on your encounters with women and how they transpire. As you get more experienced with women, a skill you need to learn is how to manage male friends. Unfortunately, sometimes your male friends can be the biggest impediment to your seductions. As you see your results increase, you have to be selective about the guys you hang out with, go out with, pick up women with, and share information with.

As you learn how pickup and seduction work, you’ll start to get with more women, but not all your male friends will have YOUR interests with women at heart. Perhaps they view you as a man without these traits, or they just haven't seen that side of you. Maybe they DO view you as such a man and just want a piece of it for themselves. You’ll start to see that other men will make mistakes around you that affect your frame with women. They might try to use your skills and leads for their own benefit, or they could judge your actions as amoral and shame you.

All these situations with your male friends can destroy the hard work you’ve put into with one woman, a series of women, or girls you’re dating with some stability.

There are four different types of guys we’ll talk about in this 4-part series:

  1. Clueless Men
  2. Shady Men
  3. Judgmental Men
  4. Dead Weight Men

In each article, I’ll share how best to deal with each type and what you can do as you become better with women.

Let’s start today with dumb and clueless men.

Does the Perfect Partner or Relationship Exist?

perfect partnerI suspect this is more an American problem... in part because I haven't seen it so much outside of America, and in part because America is a nation with people uniquely fixated on "I should get what I want -- all of what I want."

However, there is a certain expectation that a perfect partner and/or relationship should be achievable.

To put that into specific terms:

  • It should be possible to find a partner who shares all the same interests as you

  • It should be possible to find a partner who wants time together when you want it, and to be alone when you want to be alone

  • It should be possible to find a partner with the same love language as you, so you are always happy with her ways of showing affection and she is always happy with yours

  • It should be possible to find a partner who always communicates in exactly the way that works best with you, so you always know what the issue is and never encounter drama

  • It should be possible to find a partner whose sex drive exactly matches yours, so the sex is never too little, and never too much

  • It should be possible to find a partner who's fine to do all the chores that you don't want to do

  • It should be possible to find a partner who has all your other requirements, wrapped up into one: your looks requirements, physique requirements, height requirements, intellect requirements, personality requirements, social life requirements. All wrapped up in one

  • It should be possible to find a partner who wants exactly what you want from the relationship (more closeness or just a little closeness; one child or two children or ten children or no children; to live a lavish lifestyle, or to live a minimalist one). And that, should you change your preferences at some point, she will change her preferences at the same time, or nearly so, and the two of you won't grow apart

  • It should be possible to find a partner who is always pleasing and rarely irritating, and never, ever, ever causes a fuss

The perfect partner, and the perfect relationship.

It should be possible... should it?

Because many relationships end due to what we could ultimately boil down to this one consideration: "She just wasn't perfect enough."

My Truth About Women (And How Most Guys Have It Wrong) Part 2

truth about women

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Here’s part two of a remake of my old mASF article from 2009. In this polemic, I reflect on the current state of affairs in the community, and my challenge of the dogma of the time. I decided to remake it not only for nostalgic purposes but also because many thoughts are still valid today.

Of course, I’ve discovered other things as I grew older and more experienced. I also got some ideas wrong then. To make up for this, I will add my “current day” notes in italics.

Part 1 discussed pickup, street pickup, clubs, and my views. This time, I reflect on women, what they want, and what they are like.

I really challenge the current paradigm, and you can see how the perspective of the new paradigm (the school of sexual game) gives alternative explanations and theories. Although it had its flaws (which I will mention in my present-day remarks), it did explain much about value: being high value and communicating value. In my opinion, the sexual game perspective was better, and I still believe it is. It was not perfect then, but I think I’ve managed to explain its many flaws.

Enjoy!