Being humans, our relationship desires don’t always fit with the culturally-prescribed model. So let’s explore the alternatives, and what to expect with each.
I am very direct with women. It works.
But I wanted to ask some girls their perspective. Getting advice from girls can be tricky since they answer with emotion and also avoid being too honest and "red pill" since it can make them seem callous. Basically, you can't ask a fish how to catch it....
Most of the time.
With the spread of liberal ideologies, interracial dating is now widely accepted… and in a way, exciting for girls. Here’s how to make the most of being a minority.
Everyone is a minority somewhere. If you’re a white guy and you go to Africa, you will be a vanilla gem for all the dark girls. If you’re black and you go to Eastern Europe, you’re going to be dark chocolate for all the white girls. If you’re Asian and you go to South America, you will be a sexy, squinty-eyed, kung-fu dickin’ dude.
Being a minority, wherever you are, has both advantages and disadvantages, and right now, the advantages have never been higher. This is due to a few reasons.
Firstly, liberal ideologies stood as the dominant political schema for a long time. I’d say a strong three or four decades. Left-leaning ideas infiltrated politics, academia, social media – everywhere.
And liberalism is… well, liberal. Open. Wide. I have some theories on why liberal ideologies dominate certain time periods and why conservative ideologies dominate others, but one consequence of liberal ideologies is sexual liberation. This sexual liberation not only enables women to sleep with lots of guys but also lots of different kinds of guys.
Moreover, any resistance to women screwing minorities is met with a very strong shame frame – insecurity. Women use insecurity as a frame all the time. They attempt to subvert your sexuality and dominance by making you fear the possibility of shame and ostracization.
When it comes to having sex with non-traditional guys, it goes like this. A girl comes from a predominately white background. Let’s say the Midwest of America (where I grew up). A conservative area. Bible belt. So she doesn’t see many Latino or black guys. But when she does, there’s an unspoken – or even spoken – stigma around it. I've seen lots of Confederate flags where I'm from.
Her attraction to a Latino or black guy is dangerous. She could be shamed for it. But if he’s attractive, she can’t help it. People can’t help who they’re attracted to. Him being Latino or black usually isn’t enough in and of itself to attract her, but if he’s attractive and he’s a minority, that creates a dark fantasy. It’s forbidden. It’s shameful. Why?
Women who are open to polyamory are few and far between, especially in conservative environments. To find poly-partners, you need to look outside the box.
Let’s start right off with a disclaimer:
If you identify as conservative, you may find a lot of what I say in this article offensive. Bear in mind that I define “conservative” in a very specific way, and you may not have the same definition of it as I do.
In my last article, I talked about polyamory and one of my wonderful experiences within my polyamorous relationships. If that article piqued your interest and you’re interested in starting a polyamorous lifestyle, you probably have some questions. One of the most pressing questions you may have is:
“How can I find attractive, high-value women who would actually agree to being in a polyamorous relationship with me?”
In the realm of seduction, chaos is a certainty. There’s no way around it. But if you embrace it and go with the flow, you might find a way through.
I love this book series called “Introducing...”.
It covers many subjects, from Freud to sociology to Islam. The copy I own is on chaos theory.
Your first introduction to the concept may have been via Jeff Goldblum’s character in Jurassic Park. Chaos theory is a branch of mathematics that deals with complex systems, the behavior of which are highly sensitive to slight changes in conditions. Small alterations can give rise to strikingly great consequences – otherwise known as the butterfly effect.
What blew my mind is that this branch of study is, in essence, a scientific validation of Eastern philosophy and religion, namely Buddhism, Hinduism, and Tao. Moreover, it all applies to seduction and how we can sort out the chaos, the flakes, the rejections, and the random insanity of the game.
For years, I’ve been arguing with “normies” about how science is essentially a modern religion, with its own set of dogmas. Claims to find “the truth” from irrefutable empirical evidence often fail to explain the seemingly random manifestations of chaos in linear, deterministic systems.
Like, why did that hilarious joke you copy-pasted piss her off rather than attract her? It was part of the system. It should have worked but it had the opposite of its intended effect.
For example, even with all our modern scientific equipment, we still can’t accurately predict the weather or the ups and downs of animal populations. There’s no way to mathematically account for disease, war, famine, or the avalanche set off by a single snowflake. Not accurately enough to forgo wearing a jacket, anyway.
Great Man Theory states that men with outsize power can have outsize impacts on society and history. Does this theory have legs – or is it all illusion?
Early this year, Science Daily (a website I like) claimed a new study on spiders 'debunked' the "19th-century notion that highly influential individuals use their power" to shape history. This theory these spiders had debunked was Great Man Theory.
I'd heard of Great Man Theory a few times over the years. I never gave it much thought. However the Science Daily article piqued my interest. If there is one thing the media has taught me (and the media has taught me many things), it is that the word 'debunked' usually signals something is, by contrast, actually worth looking into.
If you want a common man to dismiss something as obviously wrong, just tell him it's been debunked. Then he will know - devote thought to this, and your membership in the world of good thinkers is gravely imperiled. Abandon these lines of inquiry now... lest you be tossed into the 'gullible idiots box' and excluded forever from the society of the educated and informed.
Of course, if you are a contrarian - as I am - these veiled warnings that a thing is intellectually off limits only interest you in it more. They make you want to investigate a thing. To learn all about it, as well as its counterclaims.
This new interest in Great Man Theory led me down a rabbit hole that, in only a short time, changed my thinking on a profound, important topic that affects the way a man views his place in the world.
Most experienced guys will agree that relationship sex is better than casual hookups. But that’s not to say you should limit yourself to one or the other.
I’ve read and heard many, many, many times that sex in a relationship is better than casual sex.
While there is some truth to this sentiment, I want to dispel some of the negative connotations surrounding casual sex.
Firstly, realize some possible motivations behind the negativity.
If a man says that casual sex is empty and relationship sex is fulfilling, he will usually fall under one of a few categories.
He is most likely a guy who doesn’t get laid a lot, is envious of those who do, and tries to shame them. To dissuade other men from banging lots of girls, he will advise against casual sex. He will poison the lifestyle with claims that it robs you of meaningful connections and is a waste of time. He’ll say that you shouldn’t disrespect women by seeing them as sex objects.
This guy is wrong for reasons you already are aware of – the pursuit of women is a worthy one. There are higher goals than chasing pussy, but it’s something almost every man needs to learn, at least to a degree.
There are also women who aren’t that competitive in the dating market, so they look to undermine men – either consciously or unconsciously – from pursuing other women during their sexual adventures. Ironically, this crusade against casual sex rarely stops the protesting women themselves from engaging in it.
Occasionally, you’ll hear this from a conservative, high-value girl, but it’s usually her reacting to a specific conversation rather than going out of her way to denounce casual sex. And don’t forget about the girl who just got pumped and screwed by some guy – she’s going to cry about casual sex being lame, but the real issue is she’s mad that the guy she gave it up for didn’t want more.
Men who are experienced but not expressing themselves clearly or are currently in a down state might also criticize the player lifestyle. It generally doesn’t come from a bad place and is usually the most informative of the “casual sex is inferior to relationship sex” arguments, but one should take pause when reading or listening to such criticism.
There is an important nuance when considering whether casual hookups are inferior to relationship sex.
Do you need a girlfriend? Maybe. But perhaps you’d be better off without one right now. These considerations will help you decide.
What I’ve learned over many years of teaching, mentoring, and coaching, is that my desires have not always matched those of my students and clients.
One of my most common recommendations for guys at all levels is to sleep with a few women before settling down with one.
I know – from both ends of experience – why this can be helpful for men. My first serious girlfriend was the girl I lost my virginity to. Then, a few months into dating, we had to shift to a long-distance relationship when I went off to college.
The relationship itself wasn’t bad, and I learned a lot. Additionally, my life has led me to where I am, so I have no regrets. But regarding that long-term relationship, there were many better paths I could have taken, given how many chances I had with hot, thirsty girls at college.
It’s tough to judge the past from the future, since it is self-evident that the past – every detail and crease – led to this future.
As for girlfriends, something that takes time and focus on your part... that’s a tricky subject.
When should you have a girlfriend?
The question “Do I need a girlfriend?” comes to mind, as a teacher of the romantic arts. But for many guys out there, it takes the form of “I need a girlfriend.” Two different sentiments, but both lead to the same inquiry if one is calm and introspective.
There are times in your life when a girlfriend is nice but not necessary. There are also times when you really shouldn’t have a girlfriend, and there are times when you really need one.
Some feel genuinely unfulfilled by reserving their love for just one partner. Is polyamory better understood as a sexual orientation rather than a lifestyle?
As the title says, I recently had a date with two women at the same time. Now, I know what you might be thinking: “Did he forget that he already had a date that night? Did he accidentally double-book? Did he screw up? Was there a fight? Were there tears?”
Well, the answer to all those questions is a resounding “no”.
This was my first ever “triad date” with two partners that I’m regularly seeing. We all agreed to it and planned it out carefully. For about a year now, I’ve been (fairly successfully, I think) following a polyamorous lifestyle, and I’d like to tell you all about it because I feel like some of the readers here might be interested in expanding their horizons and exploring this lifestyle.
Those of you following Adam Lyons might already know about polyamory, but for those of you not in-the-know, allow me to explain.
Busy, waiting, or boxed in? If done right, being on your smartphone can be a powerful tool to intrigue and attract women.
A common target of social criticism these days is our obsession with phones. You’ve seen those trite, hipster videos about how all we do is stare at our screens, how we live in a fast-paced, consumerist society, which has caused us to lose touch with in-person communication, leading to our lacking social skills.
I don’t buy it. For a while, I did. It makes sense. We do live in a disposable society that throws things away when they’re no longer needed. Chase elegantly pointed that out in his article on how some guys feel like disposable dicks-on-sticks.
However, he also pointed out how this disposability goes both ways, affecting women, too.
There’s always a flip-side.