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Social Commentary

How to Manage Your Friends as You Learn Seduction, Pt. 2: Shady Men

manage friends while learning seduction
You’ve approached a hot girl and the seduction is going well, then some “friend” of yours swoops in and steals her. Here’s what to watch out for to avoid babe theft.

Welcome back to my series about how to manage your circle of friends as you get better with women! It’s one of the most aggravating problems men face as they increase their skillset and get with more higher-quality women. They eventually realize they’ll need to upgrade their group of male friends to follow their progress.

In Part 1, we talked about how many men are unfortunately clueless or dumb when it comes to women. Their lack of knowledge can make things awkward if you’re trying to do something with your girl, like maintaining a solid frame. With clueless and dumb friends, one split second mistake can affect you and your woman for months. The clueless friend will either downplay their actions or can’t fathom why their actions could have a serious impact. After all, they are typically hanging out with friends for the good times and will do nothing to impact their stake in the game.

Today we cover a more serious type of male friend: the conniving and shady friend, who uses you as a crutch to get the woman you are gaming. Shady friends often use the powerful tool of state transference to take a girl you approached, gamed, or even slept with and dated to twist the situation and get her for himself. As you can imagine, things can get ugly.

Liminality and Seduction: Inside the Bubble of Sexual Tension

liminality bubble of seduction
Have you ever been in a sexual bubble with someone, seemingly separated from the outside world and free to make your own rules? Liminal space is the seducer’s Shangri-La.

Today I will share a bit of an abstract concept. It’s inspired me often in my analysis and overall understanding of pickup and seduction. Hopefully the reason why will become clear by the second half of this post, where I’ll show an applied example.

This concept is called “liminality” and comes from social theory, or more precisely from anthropology. It’s also used in psychology and sociology, as well as social philosophy.

Anthropologist Arnold van Gennep coined liminality, but anthropologist Victor Turner perfected it. Turner has written multiple texts on the subject, but I would consider his "Liminal to Liminoid, in Play, Flow, and Ritual: An Essay in Comparative Symbology" to be the flagship study.

I will not go into great detail about the theory for the sake of keeping this article concise and on point, but in my academic career, I‘ve been often inspired by Turner's concept of liminoid spaces (see my post on the secret society).

How to Manage Your Friends as You Learn Seduction, Pt. 1: Clueless Men

manage friends while learning seduction
Your buddies have your best interests at heart, but they can inadvertently sabotage your efforts with women if they’re clueless about pickup and seduction.

Your male friends can have an impact on your encounters with women and how they transpire. As you get more experienced with women, a skill you need to learn is how to manage male friends. Unfortunately, sometimes your male friends can be the biggest impediment to your seductions. As you see your results increase, you have to be selective about the guys you hang out with, go out with, pick up women with, and share information with.

As you learn how pickup and seduction work, you’ll start to get with more women, but not all your male friends will have YOUR interests with women at heart. Perhaps they view you as a man without these traits, or they just haven't seen that side of you. Maybe they DO view you as such a man and just want a piece of it for themselves. You’ll start to see that other men will make mistakes around you that affect your frame with women. They might try to use your skills and leads for their own benefit, or they could judge your actions as amoral and shame you.

All these situations with your male friends can destroy the hard work you’ve put into with one woman, a series of women, or girls you’re dating with some stability.

There are four different types of guys we’ll talk about in this 4-part series:

  1. Clueless Men
  2. Shady Men
  3. Judgmental Men
  4. Dead Weight Men

In each article, I’ll share how best to deal with each type and what you can do as you become better with women.

Let’s start today with dumb and clueless men.

Does the Perfect Partner or Relationship Exist?

perfect partnerI suspect this is more an American problem... in part because I haven't seen it so much outside of America, and in part because America is a nation with people uniquely fixated on "I should get what I want -- all of what I want."

However, there is a certain expectation that a perfect partner and/or relationship should be achievable.

To put that into specific terms:

  • It should be possible to find a partner who shares all the same interests as you

  • It should be possible to find a partner who wants time together when you want it, and to be alone when you want to be alone

  • It should be possible to find a partner with the same love language as you, so you are always happy with her ways of showing affection and she is always happy with yours

  • It should be possible to find a partner who always communicates in exactly the way that works best with you, so you always know what the issue is and never encounter drama

  • It should be possible to find a partner whose sex drive exactly matches yours, so the sex is never too little, and never too much

  • It should be possible to find a partner who's fine to do all the chores that you don't want to do

  • It should be possible to find a partner who has all your other requirements, wrapped up into one: your looks requirements, physique requirements, height requirements, intellect requirements, personality requirements, social life requirements. All wrapped up in one

  • It should be possible to find a partner who wants exactly what you want from the relationship (more closeness or just a little closeness; one child or two children or ten children or no children; to live a lavish lifestyle, or to live a minimalist one). And that, should you change your preferences at some point, she will change her preferences at the same time, or nearly so, and the two of you won't grow apart

  • It should be possible to find a partner who is always pleasing and rarely irritating, and never, ever, ever causes a fuss

The perfect partner, and the perfect relationship.

It should be possible... should it?

Because many relationships end due to what we could ultimately boil down to this one consideration: "She just wasn't perfect enough."

My Truth About Women (And How Most Guys Have It Wrong) Part 2

truth about women

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Here’s part two of a remake of my old mASF article from 2009. In this polemic, I reflect on the current state of affairs in the community, and my challenge of the dogma of the time. I decided to remake it not only for nostalgic purposes but also because many thoughts are still valid today.

Of course, I’ve discovered other things as I grew older and more experienced. I also got some ideas wrong then. To make up for this, I will add my “current day” notes in italics.

Part 1 discussed pickup, street pickup, clubs, and my views. This time, I reflect on women, what they want, and what they are like.

I really challenge the current paradigm, and you can see how the perspective of the new paradigm (the school of sexual game) gives alternative explanations and theories. Although it had its flaws (which I will mention in my present-day remarks), it did explain much about value: being high value and communicating value. In my opinion, the sexual game perspective was better, and I still believe it is. It was not perfect then, but I think I’ve managed to explain its many flaws.

Enjoy!

My Truth About Women (And How Most Guys Have It Wrong) Part 1

truth about women

Hey guys. Currently I am writing down my life story from 2007 to today. Doing so, I got immersed in the past and revisited some great moments: crazy stories, amazing women, and all my great revelations about women and the art of seduction.

I also had some good flashbacks from the old mASF (Moderated Alt.Seduction.Fast) boards, the pickup community forum that used to be its main home, hosting all the big names in seduction.

I had joined this community in 2007 at the age of 15. I quickly skimmed through it. Being so young, I was a fast learner. But I also had little life experience, which seemed to be a curse, but it also forced me to think on my own. No experience meant no bias. So, I was always open to seeing the world differently.

I will take credit for being one of the pioneers to introduce "sex talk" not as a necessity to escalate the process into sex, but as a tool for creating attraction and compliance. By this, I mean:

Upon learning how to do these things, one could get laid with a much higher consistency. This was a different approach than what most guys were doing. I was getting plenty of followers, and many older members enjoyed my new, fresh ideas. But these concepts were also prone to criticism for contradicting the current beliefs back then, which included “Don’t verbalize sex.”

Nevertheless, the administrator of the mASF, Formhandle, invited me to join the elite forum called Masterminds, which was available to the public for reading, but where only selected members could post (Chase and Cody were also members).

What I’m sharing today is a remake of my first post there from early 2009 when I was 17. I’ll fix the spelling and may rephrase bad formulations. I'll also include clarifying "notes from the present" to show how my thinking has evolved.

So, here is part 1 of 2 of the remake of the old mASF article that was lost after its decline. Enjoy.

In an Age of Connectivity, Maintain Your Privacy

just you and her
In the Internet age, everyone's cavalier about privacy. But now that people are routinely smeared, fired, and jailed for what they share online, should you still be so cavalier?

Right now, everyone's aware of how little privacy everybody else has in the Internet age.

We're all aware of it, but few of us care. Most people are actually pretty cavalier about their privacy.

Most people are on social media. A lot of people want to be big on social media. Pictures of their lives, videos, and so on. They want to blow up and get all those sweet, transitory thumbs up from random people.

Trading privacy for social approval is an attractive prospect when you are younger. I did it; a lot of people do it.

There is an important thing to understand about privacy though, and it is that the stuff you put out there to help you (by making you look cool, giving you a stage to stand on, and the like) can also come back to bite you.

It is important, especially while you're in your more self-focused, self-aggrandizing period of life (typically your teens and early-to-mid-twenties) to do everything with privacy in mind.

Don't Listen to Those Who Say "No Sex on the First Date"

first date sex
She’s not that kind of girl? Well, here’s a pro tip: all girls are that kind of girl. Those who say first date sex shouldn’t happen usually have ulterior motives.

I’m always surprised when men believe sex on the first date is unlikely, unnecessary, impossible, or even wrong.

I’m never surprised when women have this belief.

You see, when you spend many years with an enlightened view of women (like I and the contributors on Girls Chase have), it becomes your norm. Old and misguided beliefs you lost years ago or never had seem strange and foreign.

Sometimes men say they “want to take it slow” with a girl because they want something serious, or they might mention that she’s being a slut because she has sex on the first date. They might even say she’s a whore despite not sleeping with him on the first date. When I see this, I know that they are entangled in the Madonna-Whore complex, which is where this false belief originates. It’s the root of wrong views about quick sex.

Men lose so much from this ignorance.

However, when a woman says it, she has everything to gain and little to lose.

To understand why women pretend to believe that “sex can’t happen on the first date” and why men fall for the lie, we will go through what motivations a man or woman might have for holding this wrong view.

In the sense of good and bad, it has very little to do with morality and instead is about the morality of status-gaining and control, and mate-screening.

Women rightly want what is best for them. They want the best man they can get. If we start with this simple premise, everything about the idea of “not having sex on the first date” becomes translucent. We see an innocent idea as something much more.

When you see this idea for what it is, you will wake up to a new view of women.

It is a liberating view.

You will walk around the world as a hunter, knowing that you can screw any girl, and I mean any girl on the first date.

I don’t care if she’s a Queen or just thinks she is one on Instagram, you can slay her on the first date.

Now, why might a man believe this romantically pernicious idea?

How to Control Your Girlfriend or Wife (in a Society that Frowns Upon That)

control girlfriend or wifeThis Yuletide season, at a time of family, let's talk about maintaining a firm, guiding hand on your own relationships, so they do not slip away from you.

Because that is more difficult to do in our day than it has been at many points in history.

First off, let's address this: being 'controlling' in any sort of direct, overt way is completely forbidden in the modern West.

You aren't allowed to be controlling with friends. You aren't allowed to be controlling with employees. You aren't allowed to be controlling with children. And you especially are not allowed to be controlling with women.

Controlling women in any way is viewed at a societal level as the turf of weak, jealous, insecure men, who are unable to inspire devotion, and instead must use coercion.

Being 'controlling' is the domain of uneducated roughnecks, red necks, and ghetto hoods who lack the ability to communicate or empathize, who don't respect women, and who are, or inevitably will be, 'abusers'.

This article is not really about that kind of jealous, insecure attempt to control. Instead, it is about how to manage your girlfriend or wife in a way she benefits from and responds to, that makes your relationship healthier, and that meanwhile attracts as little social opprobrium as possible.

Never Count on a Woman to Change (& Never Think You'll Change Her)

change a womanI talked to a friend recently and told him about a woman I'd dated with a short fuse.

She was in all other respects perfect.

Physically very beautiful. Very smart and highly educated.

Good career. A happy, positive, can-do person, with a charming personality.

More self-improvement-orientated than almost any woman I've met.

However, she had a very short fuse, and various things would set her off.

Once you set her off, she'd fly off into a (self-)righteous rage.

Her rage would last anywhere from 30 minutes to a few hours, then she would calm back down. A little while later she'd be happy again.

This short fuse of hers was inherited. Her father had it. Her elder sister and younger sisters had it. Others in her family did not have it, but those four did. At a family gathering I attended with them, all four set each other off and flew into rages against one another.

The sisters often tried to avoid talking with each other and their parents, solely because of their tendencies to set each other off like that. Everything else about their relationships were fine, but the anger they all boiled over into did not well mix.

I did everything I could, within reason, over the time I dated this girl to cure her of this fuse.

I thought for a while that with proper operant conditioning, I'd break her of her temper.

I was wrong, and nothing I did was a permanent fix.

The friend I mentioned this to is an optimistic guy who is good at approaching new women, but has trouble bedding them and hanging onto them. His relationships never work out. He's one of the 'hard case' guys I know and have talked about before on Girls Chase. It's hard to put your finger on it with him, but there are many little things it often seems like he does not really 'get'.

When I talked about some of the details of this relationship with him, he told me "Well, it sounds like you set up a pattern early on where this type of behavior was acceptable."

He added that it "sounds like you were encouraging this" or "maybe you subtlely like this."

He then admitted he'd dated a few dramatic women before, but "I quickly showed them I wouldn't tolerate that and they stopped doing it."

It was a little pop armchair psychology that on the surface sounds really good. Somebody does something you don't like? Just make it clear it's unacceptable, and she'll stop for good! Don't be weak or invite it back in, and you'll never have to deal with it again!

But, as I told him, people are a lot richer and more complex than this... and you simply wanting a behavior to change, and putting a few behavior modification procedures in place to try to change it, does not ensure you'll get the change you want.

Especially not long-term.

Far from it.

Rather, while you should do what you can to get your woman to change any undesirable behavior she has, you should never count on a woman to change... and you should never think you'll change her.