Social Commentary | Girls Chase

Social Commentary

How to Tell a Girl Who's Beautiful from One Who's Made Up

natural beauty vs. makeup
Women use makeup, hair, dress, and behavior to make you think they’re prettier and more sexually receptive than they are. But you don’t need to be fooled.

After I’d been meeting girls in bars and on the street for a few years, I decided to undertake a project. I wanted to become instant and good at differentiating naturally beautiful girls from all the rest. And there were a few reasons I decided to do this.

If you aren’t too experienced with women yet, or you haven’t paid much attention to this, there’s a lot women can do to make themselves look more attractive than they naturally are. And in fact, often this ‘artificial beauty’ commands men’s attention more than natural beauty does. I discussed this in “You’re Passing Up the Hottest, Coolest Girls”; how, quite often, a guy will go for the flashy girl with red lips and a low neckline over the girl who actually has the prettier face and better breasts, but who does not advertise these.

My suggestion is for you to switch it up. Rather than go for the girl who makes herself look better and more sexually receptive than she is, you go for the girl who is genuinely beautiful, and genuinely receptive, yet isn’t angling for your attention as much.

Of course, that’s hard to do if you don’t know what you’re looking for. The hair, makeup, and clothes industry is designed to trick the male brain. It is hard to not be spellbound by the woman in flashy attire, with flashy hair, and flashy makeup.

Thus, if you’d like to see past the illusion, you must train to attune to certain things.

Who Has It Harder in 21st Century Romance: Men or Women?

who has it harder dating
Whose dating life is harder, men’s or women’s? The answer is nuanced… because there are different groups within both sexes.

Several weeks back, I wrote “Urbanization, Romantic Anonymity, and the Birth of Game.” This piece of writing was about how ‘game’ (conversational and logistical aptitude aimed at meeting, bedding, and dating women) is an organic outgrowth of complex, fast-paced urban societies.

The reason we fingered for the emergence of game was that urban societies present new opportunities for men (i.e., the ability to have sexual intercourse with lots of women), yet also new challenges (i.e., women are much more experienced with men, have many more options, and cut a lot less slack).

One of the things I mentioned in this article was that while men have it harder in urban environments, fear not – women have it harder too. Yet several commenters wanted to clarify: women may have it harder, but men have it far harder still.

Well, do men have it harder?

The answer is yes. And no.

I’m going to both agree and disagree with this “men have it harder” sentiment today. Don’t worry, if you’re currently feeling like it is far harder for you than it is for many women, I won’t be telling you you’re wrong. But I am going to show you why it is this way for you... but not for every guy in the city. Some guys have it the opposite way (i.e., it’s easier for them than it is for women).

We’re going to focus on three (3) elements of urban dating that make things harder or easier for various groups of men, as these men’s dating success compares with women’s. Those three elements are:

  1. That men and women want different things
  2. That men occupy the extremes
  3. And that what men go for in cities vs. what they go for elsewhere are different

In the end, I expect you will have a far more nuanced view of dating and mating in large urban environments, the plusses and minuses therein, and who you have to be to become one of the men who has it easier than girls do, instead of being stuck being one of the men who has it harder than girls do.

The God and the Goddess: A Theosophy of the Sexes

theosophy of sexes
Theosophy is the study of divine wisdom. And what can be more divine than the coupling of male with female?

Theology is the study of God or gods. The primary question in Theology is the nature of God.

Theosophy, on the other hand, is the study of divine wisdom and actions with the intent to reveal deep truths about ourselves, our divine nature, and our behavior. This is an article born of my fascination with the subject; it explores how our masculine divinity works in contrast and in cahoots with feminine divinity. I hope you enjoy the read, and I hope that perhaps these conceits might ring true and light a few bulbs in your mind that haven’t occurred to you before.

Sometimes all it takes is a good story to illustrate something poetically that is difficult to tackle logically. I will be speaking poetically a lot and will occasionally put my metaphors into the context of this website in order to keep it practical with respect to women, dating, sex, and relationships.

If you happen upon a few paradoxes as we go, that’s a good sign. That’s how these things work.

Urbanization, Romantic Anonymity, and the Birth of Game

urbanization and game
Game – a male strategy to date and mate with women – is a phenomenon that emerges naturally in complex, organized, crowded societies.

In 2 A.D., Roman poet Ovid published his three-piece work Ars Amatoria, the first two books of which deal with how to find, bed, and retain women.

Ancient Shang Dynasty poems and love songs weave details on how to seduce in with their descriptions of the romances they retell.

In 374 A.D. Augustine of Hippo picked up women on the streets of Carthage, and would share his exploits with wingmen who picked up women too. Casanova traipsed through 18th Century Europe carving notches into his bedpost. The ancient world was filled with men who studied ‘the game’.

There’s always resistance to the idea of men learning and practicing game. Some folks will tell you it’s unnecessary – you’re supposed to just know this stuff. It’s preprogrammed into you. Others will tell you it’s immoral; why can’t you just pick one girl and settle down? Still more men will tell you seduction is a misguided pursuit that takes you away from your role as a man, or from greatness.

Yet despite the critics, this skill set of meeting, seducing of, and sleeping with women pops up again and again throughout history – most recently beginning in earnest in the 1990s of our own age and civilization.

For something so many people will tell you you do not need, why does game keep resurfacing?

5 Reasons Women are Far Dirtier Than Men Are

women are dirty
While women present themselves as reserved angels, the truth is they’re naughty little sexual imps – more so than most men.

Hey team, I know it’s been a little while. I hope you all have been doing well in my absence.

I have been having a lot of conversations lately about sexuality. And today I want to talk about something that very often surprises men who don’t have very much experience with women – and it still surprises some men who do!

It’s the fact that women are far dirtier, hornier, and more sexual than you could ever believe.

I’ve had the pleasure of being surrounded by a lot of women in my time, some of whom I’ve been romantically involved with and many of whom I haven’t. Some have been absolute bombshells, and some haven’t (though still attractive for the most part).

But the incredible gift and advantage of my situation has been that I’ve been able to glean a lot of perspectives on life, sex, and romance straight from the horse’s mouth.

It’s funny how honest a girl will be with you if you create an environment in which she knows you aren’t going to judge her. And if you have a few women in your life with whom you don’t have any sexual interest or chemistry, then she will feel comfortable being that much more honest.

So I want to share with you five statements that I’ve heard from countless women at different points in time about their kind – some of which have even surprised me.

I have found most of these statements to be applicable to nearly all of the women I’ve talked to at one point or another. However, there is a very important caveat to these statements that I will talk about after I share them with you.

And you *must* remember the caveat in order to get anything useful from this article.

Here we go.

But the Girls in My Country are Different

girls in my country are different
You might think your countrywomen are different. But women are women, whether you meet them in the U.S., Jordan, India, or Saudi Arabia.

Some years ago – never mind how long precisely – a 9th-grade biology book fell into my hands. With my limited reading ability and understanding, combined with my weird curiosity, I skimmed through its pages. I discovered the nervous system, cardiovascular system, lymphatic system... and then the reproductive system.

It was shocking to first learn about the weird things we do in order to produce little people in such detailed, clinical fashion. What is even more shocking was to realize that in my (at the time) few years on this Earth, I had not once stopped to wonder where babies came from. I saw them popping up here and there all the time, seemingly out of nowhere, and that did not bother me at all!

Because I was so unfamiliar with sex, the entire act was a mystery to me. Almost mystical to me. Babies seemed to just spontaneously pop out of nowhere; I could not imagine a man and a woman undressing and doing what men and women do to make babies.

Even after my big realization, the “kids popping out of nowhere” theory still made more sense to me than the reality of two people getting all naked and going at it. My culture was too strict, imposing too many complications, too many taboos to actually allow such a thing to ever happen. The picture of an innocent couple all naked and banging was too farfetched to actualize. Not surprisingly, I adopted the mentality that maybe the girls in my country are just different!

Since coming to this realization many years ago, I have learned the truths about human sexuality. And I have learned that there is so much sex happening everywhere. Yes, EVERYWHERE! In fact, the amount of sex that happens everywhere happens on a much higher frequency than the number of babies popping out. And much of this sex that happens everywhere is instigated by women – everywhere. The things I’ve learned by personal experience have completely changed my paradigm.

Book Review: Talent Is Overrated by Geoff Colvin

talent is overrated
Are you born talented, or do you learn it? Varoon reviews the book… plus why some men succeed as others flounder.

Throughout the history of the Girls Chase boards, I and some others have noticed two kinds of people who post:

  • Guys who ask few specific questions but are desperate to become perfect in dating right away, hoping to get from A to Z – right away, right now. They fixate on acquiring all the information ASAP to “beat the final boss” in the dating game, yet they never seem to post reports or focus on specific areas they need help with. They don’t want to play the game and learn it themselves over time, as all woman-experienced men have done. Over a period of months, they ask the same questions over and over without ever field testing advice given by guys with experience. Typically they get frustrated over their lack of results... and quit.

  • Guys who put forth specific situations and ask very specific questions, then listen to and immediately follow the advice they get. These guys have accepted and evaluated their current strengths and weaknesses, and they know exactly where they need to grow. These guys are asking lots of questions that are very pointed to specific areas needing improvement, and after they learn something new, they go field test it, over and over until they get it right. These guys have field reports popping up repeatedly with new questions or new skills. They post frequently but also demonstrate improving results.

I’ve always noticed that those men who’ve grown steadfastly and quickly tend to be the second type of guy. And in addition to the big pushes from Chase and others to go and practice rather than simply reading GC and learning, I discovered that I and those men have grown more through focused effort. In effect, we were training our behavior through live practice and feedback from the women around us.

Then I started reading Talent is Overrated by Geoff Colvin. This book argues that no human being is inherently talented; instead, we become extraordinary only through focused and deliberate effort. Everything clicked.

We’ve talked about this before in How to Master Anything. One of the tools that will get you the best, most consistent results in the long term in ANY field or exercise – including the art of attracting women – is deliberate practice.

Dating Success is Probability, Not Cause and Effect

cause vs. probability
If you think about success with women as cause and effect, you’ve got it all wrong. You must think in terms of probabilities.

First off, causality and probability are not opposites.

But from a mental models point of view, they may as well be.

Most people in most walks of life think about things in terms of causality. Causes have effects, and effects have causes. If X happens, it’s because you did Y... or someone did. And if you do Y, X will happen.

This is what we might call ‘normal thinking’. It’s how the untrained mind interprets everything.

If you go out to the bar at night, and meet a girl, and you and her end up in bed together, you caused that.

If you hit on a girl in the office, and she rejects you, and then the entire office mocks you for weeks for it, you caused that too.

We’re going to unpack a lot of this thinking today. I’m going to show you why it’s not entirely correct, and in fact is more incorrect than correct.

Along the way, I’m going to expose a lot of wrong thoughts you likely have about seduction, about social interaction, and about the way the world itself works.

Buddhism, the False Face, and the Paradox of Frame

paradox of frame
How does Buddhism relate to dating? While you refine your persona, you must put on a “false face”… Yet as you do you deceive yourself, as much as others.

I was talking to a coaching client of mine the other day. He expressed to me how badly he wanted to be a “seduction machine” and that he was willing to do anything to reach that level.

I smiled. His enthusiasm and drive was uplifting. Also, he was willing to pay good money for probably one of the most important skills a man can have in his life: the ability to connect with women emotionally, romantically, and sexually; that is a sign of drive if anything is.

However, progress is not so simple. Or, to put it another way, it is far simpler than you can imagine.

In his imagination, he had this grand idea of “the master seducer” – a version of himself that is everything he’s ever wanted it to be: to have a voice that sizzles women’s ears and makes their pussies tremble, to walk and move with the grace and power of a seasoned warrior, to have eyes that undress women literally and emotionally, and to have a voice that commands them as though Zeus himself demanded their obedience.

Unfortunately, this self is a mirage. Fortunately, it is also closer to you than your skin and your bones.

This is not a contradiction. Contradictions are when one thing needs to be right, and you say both are. This, instead, is a paradox: both statements are correct yet seem contradictory.

And it’s been my experience that if you are following a path of inquiry and have not yet reached a paradox, you haven’t gone far enough.