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Social Commentary

Valentine’s Day Survival Tips for All Relationship Types – Even Single

Valentine’s Day Survival Tips
Valentine’s Day tends to throw bombs into relationships, serious and casual. Here’s how to pass the day unscathed – or even pull a new girlfriend from the ashes.

That time of year is coming again – Valentine’s Day! It’s that day that women look forward to all year – or detest when it arrives because they have no one to celebrate with. It’s that day when you can seal a frame with a new girl, or walk away from a relationship gone cold. It’s that day when, if you don’t celebrate enough, you might cause drama; or if you celebrate too much, she loses attraction for you.

It’s also a day that can set the stage for a hedonistic Spring and Summer to come – for men and women alike.

All your relationships can potentially go haywire if you’re not careful to maintain a good frame. As Valentine’s Day approaches, here are some important things to remember this year about how to navigate V-Day. And I'll be discussing how to survive in several relationship types, not just monogamy.

Do Women Lack Agency?

agency [ey-juhn-see]

noun, plural a·gen·cies.

the ability to make your own choices and act independently, free from the influence or pressure of others.

women have agencyThe subject of women's agency is one both feminist circles and the manosphere have debated almost since each movement's inceptions. Although these two movements approach things from different perspectives, and arrive at their conclusions via opposite routes, they both reach the same conclusion: that no, women do not have agency.

From the feminist side of things, here's a "veteran advocate, activist and educator" who pushes for "genuine sexual liberation and self-acceptance for women" (bio) who declares most women have no sexual agency. And here's the World Bank, a global financial institute and progressive spearhead organization (which has "promote gender equality" as one of its signature 'development goals'; it's also focused on, for instance, fighting manmade global warming), claiming that "girls and boys, and later women and men, have unequal capacity to exercise agency."

The consensus among feminists and other progressives is that women are deficient in agency. The reason they're deficient, feminists and progressives tell us, is because oppressive patriarchal systems and brutish, insensitive men sideline women from decision making -- even within their own lives.

The manosphere side arrives at the same conclusion as progressives and feminists -- that women are lacking in agency -- yet deduce this from a different set of clues. In the manosphere, examples of depraved, seemingly immoral behavior by women and the reliance of much of the modern female lifestyle on contraceptives, as well as the dearth of women who aspire to "higher values" as opposed to men, are pointed to when making the case that "[a] woman’s lack of agency is something neither to celebrate, nor despise. It is something to accept."

The consensus among red pill and manosphere thinkers, just like feminists and progressives, is that women are deficient in agency. The reason they're deficient, red pill and manosphere thinkers tell us, is because they are simply biologically incapable of freeing their decision-making from emotions, from accepting blame for mistakes they've made, or from hewing to any ideals higher than the most base, primitive necessary to run a life in a society.

It would seem that, while feminist, progressive, red pill, and manosphere thinkers might argue about the source, they all agree on the outcome: women lack agency.

So it might appear the debate is settled. Now we're just arguing about who's to blame: Mother Nature, or outdated, patriarchal men.

But I have another perspective on female agency.

Because I've seen all the things these thinkers talk about. I've also seen a lot of other things. And I've spent a lot of time up close with women, digging deep into their thinking and behavior beyond what they are even typically consciously aware of themselves doing, and beyond what most outside analysts believe they are doing too.

It's led me to the conclusion that women do not lack agency at all. Not in the feminist way, and not in the manosphere way, at least.

Instead, women beguile -- something they're exceptionally good at -- as part of how they act with agency in the world.

A woman uses the cloak of lack of agency as part of her real agency. Feminists further the agenda because it furthers theirs; male progressives and manosphere men alike push this female agenda (coming at it from different start points) because they buy it and believe the performance.

But a performance is what it is.

14 Ways Social Control Is Used on You

Social Control
For civilization to thrive, is social control a necessity? Perhaps, but we must be mindful of people and groups who seek to manipulate us to our detriment.

Social control. It sounds very 1984-ish, doesn’t it?

It is, in some ways. In others, it’s natural and understandable.

It's something that is always pulling at you – the social equivalent of gravity. Even from long distances, it has an effect.

And it comes from everyone.

When we think of “social control,” we get the idea that there’s some monolithic, maleficent force specifically targeting us and trying to get us to bend.

It is not so simple.

Yes, there are diverse and powerful organizations which are trying to control you. It could be a news station, a top-followed Instagram account, a religious body, or a government.

Those organizations include individuals, all of whom have personal agendas, both hidden and open.

Those people may all pledge allegiance to a common goal, but even then, the purity of their commitment to the group and their interpretation of that group’s goal may differ, person to person.

If a group of people aligns tightly with a singular goal, or at least the messages they deliver (e.g., a news station’s regular broadcasts) echo this singular goal or plan, the effectiveness of that social control is heightened.

Given your life experiences, and by doing some imaginative math about how many different groups are trying to control you, it is clear that you are being pulled in many directions.

The way I see it, even more confusing is that none of these groups are evil or good.

Of course, you have a moral stance and will judge various influences as good, neutral, or evil, but from a bird’s eye view, there is simply an array of consequences that occur because of your actions and everyone else’s actions.

I’m not here to moralize, but I am here to argue from the point of this website’s goals. There are social controls that inhibit your sexual freedom and ability as a man to forge his destiny.

I’m here to point out some of the biggest influences that attempt to control you, as I believe them antithetical to the goal of having a free and abundant position in the sexual marketplace.

There are hundreds of influences being thrust upon you every day, but here are 14 of the most powerful social controls that I believe you should be aware of and resist, as they inhibit your ability to be the best man you can be.

These social controls try to do one thing: convince you to adopt a belief.

If they can convince you that X is bad and Y is good, then you will follow their agenda or reinforce their worldview. It’s that simple.

To make you aware of social control, I will explain what “they” try to make you believe, the motivation behind that attempt at social control; I'll provide examples of who will try to convince you of this control. As you’ll see, “they” can’t actually stop you from doing what you want, and in most cases, they can only convince you – through shame and fear – how to act.

How to Avoid the Dating Pitfalls of Being a Good-Looking Guy

Avoid the Pitfalls of Being Good Looking
Good-looking men face particular challenges in pickup. How do you compensate when a woman acts weird around you or thinks you’re too cocky or out of her league?

Hey guys! Welcome back.

So, my two previous articles have been focused on debunking the idea that looks are the primary factor in success with women.

I have presented many different arguments for why looks are not that important. I’ve also given examples on how good looks can backfire, referring to the pitfalls and difficulties good-looking guys face.

And I think this was a good subject to cover. It is helpful for not-so-good-looking guys to understand the effects of looks and the place they have in pickup and seduction – and that looks are NOT everything.

The pitfalls good-looking men face is something VERY rarely discussed, and I believe it was a beneficial discussion. Admittedly, however, I have realized that in my last post where I covered the pitfalls and the difficulties good-looking men face, there was more of a pessimistic tone. As a matter of fact, it was far less than optimistic, and at the cost of convincing less-good-looking guys that being is was not always a good thing, I have probably left the good-looking guys feeling bad. The previous posts may in fact have generated negative beliefs about good-looking guys.

The truth is, being good looking has its benefits, but also its pitfalls. And like everything else in pickup, it is all a matter of calibration. If you are good looking, or even more importantly, good looking to her, you must calibrate accordingly.

So, to enjoy these benefits, you will have to know how to play properly, and this is what this post is about. Now, pickup in general is the same for everyone, and you mostly will have to calibrate according to the girl. However, this post can help you adjust your game to who you are.

Women Are Attracted to Men Who Show Sexual Desire

women are attracted to sexual desire
It’s a misconception that women are not attracted to aggressive men. The truth: women go nuts for aggressive men who show their sexual desire in the right way.

Have you ever noticed how well some guys do with women? If you’re a nice guy, you might see these dudes and wonder what makes them so special, and why women like them so much. Maybe you’ve seen them at nightclubs with a stunner in heels, or maybe you’ve seen your natural friend pull girls over and over again.

The chances are that – even though I’m not talking about one specific man – you can still picture the kind of dominant, masculine, and ultimately aggressive guy that I’m talking about.

A key reason these guys get women is because they show their desire. At a very basic level, any guy who wants a girl must show his desire towards her. A girl may throw indicators of interest and other signals towards a guy, but if he doesn’t show his desire, girls often move on.

There’s another key facet here that separates the average guy from the guy who actually succeeds often. Naturals, players, and men who know how the game works understand that it is actually their aggressiveness that distinguishes them from most men. That aggressiveness – their willingness to take risks with women and go after what they want – draws women into their world.

Aggressive guys get girls more often. If you’re gaming and you want women, you must show the women around you aggressive desire, and go after them aggressively.

Does Having Good Looks Come with Disadvantages?

Good Looks Come with Disadvantages
To combat the myth that “looks are all that matter” for getting laid, we examine several disadvantages of good looks you’ve likely never considered.

Hey, guys! Welcome back.

If last week’s post where we discussed the importance of looks in pickup did not convince you that looks actually are far from being one of the most important aspects in meeting women, then this post is for you.

So let’s quickly recap. Last week we discussed how good looks can:

  • Help you give a good first impression and get the ball rolling for you. This is key because you need to start somewhere, but a start is just a start. Much more than some basic early game flirting is required to get the girl.

  • Good looks allow a woman to accept and rationalize her attraction to you – however, there are other key factors that can help you achieve this.

  • Good looks are far from being a game winner, but really bad looks is a game killer.

  • In regards to the point above, better looks can be achieved. Most guys can reach the minimum threshold. Today we will discuss some other aspects of looks that you may not have considered.

To me, good looks is just another parameter one must adjust to. Same goes for average looks and bad looks. Personally, I have had times where I did not care about my looks, and even got fat. However, I presently spend lot more time getting in shape, dressing well, and taking good care of my hair and trimming my facial hair.

No matter what phase I was going through, I had an equal amount of lays. However, keep in mind that when I was less good looking, I had to “work” harder to convince girls to give me a shot, and the hooking phase was harder. But once in, getting the girl was not that much more difficult.

But wait! That’s not to say that good looks do not make it easier for you. In fact, I definitely got more hooks when I wasn’t fat… so appearance and looks are important.

Can You Still Get Dates on Tinder, or Has It Jumped the Shark?

Can You Still Get Dates on Tinder
Guys who once saw great success on Tinder are now getting frustrated with it. Fact is, it’s still the best hook-up app; you just need to know how to compete.

When something is new, it’s often much easier to find success with it. And that is definitely the case with Tinder. But despite its maturity, Tinder remains the best app for getting quick dates and hooking up with scaldingly hot women. Simply put, the environment has evolved. There’s plenty of gorgeous women to be found on there, as always, but getting them on dates and into bed isn’t as easy as it used to be. This article aims to teach you how to take full advantage of the app.

When the internet first dawned, it was easy to get noticed and get big. You just had to get on there and put out lots of content or put something out that turned into a viral hit. For example, these days, ranking in SEO (search engine optimization) is hard because, unlike before, everyone is aware of it and has incorporated the idea into their strategy, so competition has boomed.

I mean, it’s the internet, right? But it wasn’t always this way. There were many (foolish) people who initially thought the internet wasn’t a big deal. They stuck to print and television for advertising. As a result, businesses who once ruled the world went bankrupt and were replaced by others that were willing to adapt.

When MySpace took over Friendster as the premier social media platform, we saw the birth of the social media market as we know it today, now having gone through many iterations of failing to adapt and getting dominated by others with more vision.

If you had gotten on there early, used it to build your brand, and eventually adapted to the emerging successors (Twitter, then Facebook, and now Instagram), you could leverage your reach for business and connections – and pussy.

By now, you could have millions of followers, or gobs of cash, even if you weren’t selling anything or particularly entertaining. Don’t you wish you bought a few hundred Bitcoins when they were 10 cents per?

Getting in early can be a very big advantage.

Why?

Because no one knows what the hell they’re doing when something is new. And if you’re clever, you can dominate.

Sure, you might understand the principles of marketing and sales, but adapting to the new medium proves difficult.

Experts and multi-million-dollar companies can be annihilated by some random guy with a cellphone who adapts better to the market.

Tinder is no different.

There are some more details that I will flesh out in this article, but the fundamental problem with Tinder is not Tinder itself. It’s that:

But all is not lost. So let’s cover these two barriers – and what you can do about them.

The Red-Black Game, Pt.4: Security, Fear, and Predicting Human Behavior

red-black game predicting behavior
Feelings of security or fear largely influence how people play the game. Can these factors be used to predict whether someone will play red or black?

The red-black game is a simple reflection of how decision-making affects outcomes, like what’s called the “butterfly effect.” In Part 3, we started to see how trust, fear, and the outcomes of the red-black game are self-fulfilling prophecies.

Throughout my work story, the company CEO and my colleague Monica both played red at various points when I chose to play black. That created chaos for me because I was unprepared – and now, I was about to be defeated.

However, playing red all the time also invites total destruction. Now we’ll find out what led to Monica’s downfall.

To conclude the red-black game series, we’ll see that stability – or the appearance of stability – affects the perception and presence of trust and fear.

In the end, we’ll see that our own beliefs about the world create that reality, as well as the outcomes of the red-black game.

The Red-Black Game, Pt.3: Real-Life Example of How I Got the Shaft

Red-Black Game: How I Got the Shaft
The Red-Black Game can get hairy in competitive situations. Let’s take a look at an example from my own life where I get the shaft for not protecting myself.

Welcome back to The Red-Black Game – covering the brutality of life!

In Part 2, it was important to understand the utility of playing red in the game. Perhaps even more crucial, however, we discussed how important it is to defend yourself against red players and neutralize threats before they have the chance to execute.

Now let’s look at how stability – or the appearance of stability – affects the perception and presence of trust and fear, and how the outcomes of the red-black game can be self-fulfilling prophecies.

Ultimately, we’ll see how your beliefs about the world create that exact reality.

Life is full of self-fulfilling prophecies. Our thoughts define our actions.

As we saw in Parts 1 and 2, once fear enters a person’s psyche, they question motives and make decisions that shift the dynamics from red to black. However, it’s ultimately black – i.e., collaborative approaches – that create wins for great ventures.

On the other hand, while red players are capable of winning, we’ll also see that playing red too often – sometimes to an addictive degree – can cause total failure and self-annihilation.

What Makes a Man a REAL Man? (Video)

This question is very pertinent for our time. As women continue to become more like men and men become like women, those of us who desire to be TRUE men need some direction.

What makes a man a MAN, and not a boy?

The seduction community, the manosphere community, and the red pill community emerged as a reaction to our increasing feminization.

They were necessary and very helpful for many men.

But what they missed was the KEY elements of what makes a man a man – the universal traits.

Yes, men should be stoic. Yes, men should be strong. Yes, men should do X and Y... but these answers are all, in my opinion, too constrictive and simply usher in another extreme.

What I try to explain in this video is a distillation of what makes a man a man in clear terms that hold true to the masculine spirit without forcing any particular ethics upon you that may not fit your personality or your goals in life.

I hope this helps.